(no subject)
Was half expectin' to find that slime Hamilton in the basement again. With his lifetime offer for a 'get out of hell free' card. Don't he know there aint nothin' for free? Least of all in hell. But when I descended the stairs to my own private hell, there was on one but my old bud The Wrath. Check out the capitals, yo.
I was scared, yeah. To death even. And even though I kinda deserved it, it was gettin' a little too much. The big guy can come spring me outta here any day now. I was ready for it. Was gonna jump through the fire for him. Had gone through the fire for him. Yeah, was more then ready to leave now.
Please?
Of course there aint no big guy. There aint not even a blonde little guy. No Wes and his guns either, not that I was 'spectin' him. Still, man's gotta hope. What I had so not expected was her blue majesty herself to show up. That was kinda surreal and gotta a say a shock. I blinked, sat up on the table and watched as she was just there suddenly. Swattin' The Wrath away like a fly.
"I have come to get you," she announced, lookin' at me in that creepy ass way that in no way resembled Fred. "I seek enjoyment."
"What?" I looked at her confused, shakin' my head. "What the fuck?"
"I do not know the ritual of fucking'," she said in that monotone voice. "I will command Wesley to explain this once we get back. However I have grown bored with him as he continues to empty brown poison into his weak and fragile body. Yet he refuses to whither and die. "
"Hey girl, I got the same kinda body y'know." Kinda insultin'. I rose and eyebrow at her and then flinched when she suddenly leaped forward. She ripped the medallion of my neck, whirled around and put it around The Wraths' neck. Next thing I knew *I* was bein' grabbed by the neck and hurled through some kinda freak ass portal. "Jesus! We better not end up in Pylea again!"
I fell to the floor hard, and when I carefully pried an eye open, I saw we was in my office. The hell? "What the....?" Quickly pushin' myself up from the floor, I blinked over at Illyria. Who was sneering at me. She capable of any other faces? Man, don't think so.
"I have besieged upon you a new chance, Charles Gunn. The great Illyria, rules or worlds, she who made them all tremble, does not give these at random. Use it wisely." She tilted her head and gave me that cold stare makin' me shiver. "If not I will rip your eyeballs out and make you watch as I use your skin to make a new body Armour, while I feast upon your entrails."
"Huh, you guys sure knew how to have fun." You blue body snatchin' bitch.
"This we did," she nodded sagely. "This world bores and confuses me. Yet, it is strangely fascinating." She stepped over to the door, somehow makin' those five steps seem like two, and yanked it open. "Wesley will now explain the ritual of shoeless feet to me. I will no longer take his insubordination. Or I will..."
"Yeah yeah. Rip apart, entails, eyeballs, gotcha." Jesus, violent much?
"You are strange Charles Gunn. Do not anger me." She lifted her chin, turned around on the balls of her feet and was one.
"Man, freaky."