i've been sad and awed lately.  the two feelings hand in hand.  for some reason i feel that i am confronting Life like never before.  i will be twenty-two soon and at that point the safety net is gone and i am deposited into Reality For Real.  i think about the relationships that i have, the deep empathy for people the world over.  so much ( Read more... )

dear god, i am watching one of the single greatest films ever.  conrad rooks' chappaqua.  it is one long halucinatory flick based on the director's experience as an alcoholic, drug addled man moving thru the streets of new york, france, the desert and everywhere in between while losing his mind to drugs.  it is filmed mostly in high-contrast black ( Read more... )

must hear tony conrad:

concerning his music:

"This was a total displacement of the composer's role, from progenitor of the sound to groundskeeper at its gravesite".

"solution [to modern music] was to dispense with the score, and thereby with the authoritarian trappings of composition, but to retain cultural production in music as an activity. The ( Read more... )

listening to a record by the band smegma for the first time in a while.  today i bought a record by a japanese super-group of sorts called...i'll write it later, spelling evades me.  watching art garfunkel seduce a blonde on tv.  i may have to re-evaluate art garfunkel.  i had a lot of caffiene recently, and for my efforts i have a buzz in the back ( Read more... )

okay, i've got my beer and the incence is burning behind me.  the end looks like ET's glowing fingertip.  this is truly where i feel in my element.  the old scene:  room lit up by monitor glare, and bathroom light 15 feet behind.  typing away.

for the 20th-odd time i have typed out a long peice outlining everything i have wanted to be able to say, ( Read more... )

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more painting in acrylics lately.  just messing about with them at my dad's.  i took an unused wooden shelf that i had a half-done composition on and added lots of shapes and deep black strokes to build it up.  then last night i read an article in the new yorker about a twentieth century composer named morton feldman (whose cd i had recently bought ( Read more... )

for a while now i have felt uncomfortable with my near complete lack of knowledge of any of the great philosophers.  the names ring thru my head and i hear references to them all the time without having any awareness of what they each had to say: kant, heggel, kierkergaard, goerthe, spengler...i keep wanting to read up on them to get a sense of ( Read more... )

this use of geometric elements recalls earlier work... --- strenously forced mergers of regular forms with surreal figurations and expressive gesture ---

~ from "american abstract: real jackson pollock" from the new yorker - july 31

a fitting description of my latest paintings!  nice to see how an art critic might spin one of my works one day... ( Read more... )

tired.  donned th sacred orange hat.  listened to first half of miles davis' bitches brew four times or so while looking at basquiat book and adding to painting with marker and stencil.  h/ahhuh.  did a lot tonight.  can rest my head, tho i feel bad for skipping tonight's meditation.