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[in which someone is dutifully making use of his Christmas present.]
Dear journal,
This marks my first entry. Hopefully I will be able to keep up with writing since I would hate to let a Christmas gift go to waste. Even though I am not used to writing my feelings down, I will try my hardest to be genuine to myself.
The holidays have just passed and I have yet another to look forward to in my near future. To be honest, I desperately need time off, even a little. There are many things weighing on my mind - our indefinite future as sentai warriors, my inevitable failure. Of course, I am prepared to fight on without my powers for as long as people are in need of protecting, but I cannot help but hurt at the idea of losing part of what I have worked all life for.
That sense of closeness that Christmas brought forth reminded me of many people I have been sad to let go. I should be grateful to be in the company of my entire team, but this is no longer my homeworld, and I have grown attached to many friends outside of my line of work. Moreso than I ever had time to before I was called to duty. I try not to think about it too much, but most of those who have left I might never seen again. Some might have forgotten me already, as is the way things happen in this encampment.
All these things make it hard to be unconditionally happy, although there are countless reasons to. I have two - two! - partners I love from the bottom of my heart, and that alone should be enough to make up for other emotional ailments. Sadly, one person cannot replace another, and even good cannot undo the bad. Just alleviate.
When I look at how my view of things has changed, I lose a little of my self-respect. I should be content, and sometimes I forget everything that stands in the way of feeling at ease, but I owe it to my friends to remember them, and the future will catch up to me whether I suppress my knowledge or not. Never have I understood consequence as well as I do now, and it makes me cherish the good times with just a little bit of bittersweetness.
As long as I do my best, I can uphold enough confidence to bear what the future holds. I am sure with time passing it will get easier to remember fond memories instead of mourning losses.
I can't seem to find a less gloomy note to end this entry on, so simply let me apologize. May this kind of feeling not surface too often, otherwise I should surely stop writing altogether.
Ikenami Ryuunosuke
Dear journal,
This marks my first entry. Hopefully I will be able to keep up with writing since I would hate to let a Christmas gift go to waste. Even though I am not used to writing my feelings down, I will try my hardest to be genuine to myself.
The holidays have just passed and I have yet another to look forward to in my near future. To be honest, I desperately need time off, even a little. There are many things weighing on my mind - our indefinite future as sentai warriors, my inevitable failure. Of course, I am prepared to fight on without my powers for as long as people are in need of protecting, but I cannot help but hurt at the idea of losing part of what I have worked all life for.
That sense of closeness that Christmas brought forth reminded me of many people I have been sad to let go. I should be grateful to be in the company of my entire team, but this is no longer my homeworld, and I have grown attached to many friends outside of my line of work. Moreso than I ever had time to before I was called to duty. I try not to think about it too much, but most of those who have left I might never seen again. Some might have forgotten me already, as is the way things happen in this encampment.
All these things make it hard to be unconditionally happy, although there are countless reasons to. I have two - two! - partners I love from the bottom of my heart, and that alone should be enough to make up for other emotional ailments. Sadly, one person cannot replace another, and even good cannot undo the bad. Just alleviate.
When I look at how my view of things has changed, I lose a little of my self-respect. I should be content, and sometimes I forget everything that stands in the way of feeling at ease, but I owe it to my friends to remember them, and the future will catch up to me whether I suppress my knowledge or not. Never have I understood consequence as well as I do now, and it makes me cherish the good times with just a little bit of bittersweetness.
As long as I do my best, I can uphold enough confidence to bear what the future holds. I am sure with time passing it will get easier to remember fond memories instead of mourning losses.
I can't seem to find a less gloomy note to end this entry on, so simply let me apologize. May this kind of feeling not surface too often, otherwise I should surely stop writing altogether.
Ikenami Ryuunosuke