asflka;ljlsfjalsfjahfja;ljf HOLY SHIT FEELINGS FOREVER (spoilers for Glee 2x16)
I'VE FINALLY FOUND YOU, MY MISSING PUZZLE PIECE.
I'M COMPLETE.
LOLOL MISERY. Blaine's already so into him, the whole time it's HOW IS KURT REACTING? I NEED KURT TO BE MY BUDDY FOR THIS. LOVE ME, KURT. I INTERRUPT YOUR STUDY SESSIONS BECAUSE I AM A GOLDEN RETRIEVER, LOVE ME.
Who would have guessed that the song to get context is Blackbird, and not for Pavarotti. For Blaine. His FACE holy shit his fucking FACE everyone who says Darren's not a subtle actor needs to eat their faces or something it was just holy shit yessss. I knew. I knew right then but I didn't want to believe it but that look made me die more than the kiss did. Blaine woke up - not just to how he felt about Kurt, but to so much more, I think. "You were only waiting for this moment to arise."
That speech was perfect. That tension was perfect. The way Pav's death was used, perfect. The piano theme slowly leaking in for both the duet announcement and "you move me, Kurt," perfect. Those kisses, far from chaste, really hungry and hopeful and with so much built up in them that Blaine may have figured it out tonight, but he'd felt his feelings for much longer.
The speech before they went on stage, it...I feel so justified in, for all this time, being like "omg maybe Blaine doesn't think of him as sexy yet - and I doubt this anyway - but he finds him so adorable and is charmed by him on a regular basis." Which are perfectly legitimate romantic feelings too. He is such a goddamn good boyfriend already, reading his face, saying the right things, knowing big important shit like memories about his mom, being supportive when he's sad, giving him the spotlight and happily and proudly so. I cannot wait for them. Damn you for making us wait a month for them, RIB, but thank you SO GODDAMN MUCH FOR THIS NIGHT.
AND BECAUSE I NEED TO MENTION IT IN THE MIDDLE OF ALL THIS AWESOME, "BIG ASS HEART" IS LIKE. MY JAM. LAUREN'S "OH FUCK NO WHAT IS HE GOING TO DO NOW" FACE. AND HOW CHARMED SHE WAS. SCREW MERCEDES' FUCKING SONG ABOUT FUCKING FOOD WHO CARES IT WAS AMAZING I WANT IT ON ITUNES. I LOVE THEM.
Okay, Blaine Meta time because this shit is my creys:
It's the frame to all this solo stuff that knocked me on my ass especially. I think part of what maybe got Blaine to realize everything is how shallow and fawning everyone seemed to be around him as long as he towed the line, sang some superficial Top 40, made his big shiny entrances and cheerleaded everyone. He wanted something meaningful to sing with Kurt, because Kurt is meaningful to him. Kurt creates meaning in his life.
Kurt tells him when it's too much or getting old. Kurt is able to cry over a freaking bird they MADE him take care of. Kurt has the voice of an angel and sings with more emotion than Blaine has probably ever heard. Kurt can confess jealousy and still come from a place of caring and love. Kurt is moral and compassionate. Kurt moves him.
Everything around him is safe and sure and perfect and he's the king bitch star in charge, and Kurt shakes him up and throws him on his ass and challenges him and isn't on the same page as him but is his best friend even through times he's stupid and oblivious and complacent and Kurt moves him. Makes him unsure and questioning and seeking and needing and scared and right.
I felt since Special Education that Kurt was going to shake Blaine off his foundation, and while Dalton is a lot less restrictive than I thought (and than I think the writers originally were going to have it be), it's safe. It's safe and easy and it provides a platform for all of Blaine's false charm and his superficial front. It does wonders for self-esteem on his part, but it does nothing to challenge him. I think the fact that twice, he and Kurt argued over major issues but were able to figure shit out about themselves through those fights and come together again, maybe that was meant to happen. Not just so he'd fall off our pedestal, or Kurt's, but so he'd fall off of his own. He's not too competitive and while I think he can get cocky, someone who needs to put up so much false confidence doesn't have an ego deep down, they have the opposite of one. Blaine needs a place to get messy and get real, a place to just be. Kurt is that place.
And Blaine has been waiting for him forever. Until tonight.