"...Okay, you can judge me." (spoilers for Glee 2x16)
Expanding on this from my Tumblr post, because I just needed to say it.
Can we talk about the backstage scene at Regionals?
“Are you nervous?” Blaine is so charmed by every little goddamn thing he does, just like he always has been, seriously, rewind back through every bit of fond laughter from The Substitute onward and he thinks Kurt is the most precious thing alive.
And after his ramble, Kurt is wearing this smile, like even through all the tension Blaine being beside him and doing his goofy little warmup dance is making him feel calmer and more relaxed and just a little bit smitten.
And Blaine is so reassuring and calm and reassures Kurt that his completely normal feelings of nervousness are the cutest thing he has ever seen, and Kurt is going to kick ass.
But more than anything. More than ANYTHING, I loved this:
“Please don’t judge me. …Okay, you can judge me.”
Because Kurt means it. He MEANS that. He’s not wearing a look of panic, and if anything when he says that Blaine can, in fact, tease him about this he’s kind of smiling over it like okay, this is a little silly. What it shows me is they are just so goddamn COMFORTABLE around each other. Kurt isn’t opening himself up to rejection and ridicule for how he feels, he’s allowing the person he’s in love with to be honest with him because for once, he is SECURE in himself. Yes, Blaine can absolutely judge him - because Kurt has judged Blaine. Because they’re like that for each other. They make that safe space for each other, because they’re best friends first and foremost, and have been for months now.
Adding this since the Tumblr post, I hope I'm being clear here: it's not that being judged is ever a comfortable thing. It's not that judgment is something they should offer each other regularly and painfully. It's...there is a moment that is so incredibly freeing when you want to say something freaking EMBARRASSING, or you've made a fool of yourself, or you're opening up about some flaw you don't let anyone except maybe the Anonymouses of the Internet see, but you're telling it to someone who is just so close to you that even if they disapprove you know it'll be okay. Or you know that they'll never, ever disapprove to begin with. That moment is one of the biggest things, to me, that you can have with a person. For Kurt and Blaine who both put up fronts in their own ways, I think it's just as big for them. It's tremendous. For Kurt to say that with a goddamn SMILE after coming from a place where everyone screams to get noticed and he puts his nose in the air so people won't rub it in the dirt, for Kurt to be in that place with Blaine is one of the biggest things that can be said.
“You can judge me.”
Kurt is letting Blaine in - not out of misguided schoolboy idolatry, but because this is someone he genuinely loves and trusts. Blaine isn’t going to hurt him, because Blaine is HIS.
Can we talk about the backstage scene at Regionals?
“Are you nervous?” Blaine is so charmed by every little goddamn thing he does, just like he always has been, seriously, rewind back through every bit of fond laughter from The Substitute onward and he thinks Kurt is the most precious thing alive.
And after his ramble, Kurt is wearing this smile, like even through all the tension Blaine being beside him and doing his goofy little warmup dance is making him feel calmer and more relaxed and just a little bit smitten.
And Blaine is so reassuring and calm and reassures Kurt that his completely normal feelings of nervousness are the cutest thing he has ever seen, and Kurt is going to kick ass.
But more than anything. More than ANYTHING, I loved this:
“Please don’t judge me. …Okay, you can judge me.”
Because Kurt means it. He MEANS that. He’s not wearing a look of panic, and if anything when he says that Blaine can, in fact, tease him about this he’s kind of smiling over it like okay, this is a little silly. What it shows me is they are just so goddamn COMFORTABLE around each other. Kurt isn’t opening himself up to rejection and ridicule for how he feels, he’s allowing the person he’s in love with to be honest with him because for once, he is SECURE in himself. Yes, Blaine can absolutely judge him - because Kurt has judged Blaine. Because they’re like that for each other. They make that safe space for each other, because they’re best friends first and foremost, and have been for months now.
Adding this since the Tumblr post, I hope I'm being clear here: it's not that being judged is ever a comfortable thing. It's not that judgment is something they should offer each other regularly and painfully. It's...there is a moment that is so incredibly freeing when you want to say something freaking EMBARRASSING, or you've made a fool of yourself, or you're opening up about some flaw you don't let anyone except maybe the Anonymouses of the Internet see, but you're telling it to someone who is just so close to you that even if they disapprove you know it'll be okay. Or you know that they'll never, ever disapprove to begin with. That moment is one of the biggest things, to me, that you can have with a person. For Kurt and Blaine who both put up fronts in their own ways, I think it's just as big for them. It's tremendous. For Kurt to say that with a goddamn SMILE after coming from a place where everyone screams to get noticed and he puts his nose in the air so people won't rub it in the dirt, for Kurt to be in that place with Blaine is one of the biggest things that can be said.
“You can judge me.”
Kurt is letting Blaine in - not out of misguided schoolboy idolatry, but because this is someone he genuinely loves and trusts. Blaine isn’t going to hurt him, because Blaine is HIS.