Stalker (Chapter Four)
Title: Stalker (Chapter 4)
Genre: angst, school life? possibly comedy?
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Donghae POV, main = EunHae; KiHae, ninja!KyuMin
Summary: Donghae is in trouble. Things are not going well at A.B.S.
A/N: Italics = Thoughts
( ) = Narrating
“Donghae what are you -” I heard Eunhyuk say before I crashed my lips against him. No other man on this planet had ever looked that sexy while dancing and no, I wasn’t just being nice. Our lips connected and I asked for entrance to his warm mouth as I coaxed his lips open and the minute he gave way, I explored his mouth, feeling the heat surround us. I released my hands from his wrists, needing to touch another part of his body and he pushed up against my body before I felt his cold hands touch my skin. I jerked back quickly from this; what was I thinking? I just kissed a guy! I just kissed EUNHYUK. What the fuck, Donghae?
“I can’t....I have to go...” I panted out, needing to be away from his presence in order to think. I pushed him rudely out of my way before running out his room, escaping what I had just thought was paradise.
“Donghae, wait!” I heard him yell as I quickly muttered a ‘sorry’ before running out the house, leaving the door wide open for anybody to view what had just happened. I quickly ran across his garden and across mine and never stopped until I was safe in my room. But, my room wasn’t safe; he could see it. I panted as I opened my door rationally and while ignoring my mother asking me what was wrong, I walked into the bathroom and closed the door. Snuggling my clothes to myself, I curled up in a ball in the bathtub. Why am I like this? Why can’t he just leave me alone? If he left me alone then I would be able to continue to fool myself.
I wiped away a tear that threatened to fall from my tear duct, but I knew more was to come. I wiped the leaking tears furiously: Why me? Why do I have to be gay? As if my parents will be happy about this! As if they need more to fight about. I cried to myself, hugging myself into a deep sleep as the tears streamed down my face; the salinity of them particularly soothing as they fell.
“Stop talking to me and go wake up Donghae. It’s already time for him to leave.” I heard my mother say as she walked into the toilet to find me restfully sleeping in the tub. I opened my eyes slowly, adjusting to the bright light above me and feeling the crustiness of them, I sat up abruptly before wondering why I was sleeping in the bathroom; but then I remembered last night and sighed at the thought of the kiss which had fucked me up big time.
“Donghae? Why on earth are you in the bathtub fully clothed?” My mother quizzed me as she walked in. I looked up at her and wondered what I looked like as this would depend on how well my lie would work.
“I was, uh, checking if my body fitted into the bathtub still. I was going to take a bath later.”
“Why would you not fit?”
“I think I’m gaining weight...” I lied once more, not even feeling guilty.
“Yeah, I thought I noticed something different.” She said before walking out and I was dumbstruck. I thought I was lying; clearly not then. I climbed out of the tub carefully and checked my face in the mirror before gasping: my face was bloated, my eyes red and bloodshot, my lips so dry that skin flakes had started to appear and my hair was sticking up on all ends, which was just fantastic because I didn’t even have time for a shower.
Realising that I didn’t have any time, never mind time for a shower, I ran towards my bedroom and quickly shoved on the nearest clothing that was within my reach.
“See you later tonight Hae!” My mother shouted from downstairs and I didn’t even bother to reply.
My hair was rushed but at least brushed and within 10 minutes I was ready. The minty taste of my toothpaste soothed my dry throat as I brushed my teeth, trying to look at least half decent for my day at what I now liked to call ‘the torture chamber’.
Yesung was blabbering once again about him being called a ‘whore’ by somebody as I walked into my class, succeeding my plan of ignoring Eunhyuk by going to a different bus stop and getting a different bus as well as keeping my hood down low as I did the second day I had met him.
“Yesung, you need to get over it. The world is full of critics! They just loathe you and I don’t know about you, but loathing is nothing but a form of flattery to me.” Heechul said as he checked his nails, not really engaging in the conversation. Yesung looked up exasperated at Heechul’s rude remark but then shrugged it off because, well, Heechul was just like that.
“Guys, you’re going to hurt his feelings! Sunggie is not a whore.” Zhou Mi defended Yesung, noticing the brief second that Yesung felt hurt.
“I know, stop being rude to Yesung.” Siwon also defended him.
“YAH! Why are you guys saying I’m being rude to Yesung? I was giving him advice...sort of.” Heechul exclaimed and I wondered why I had such weird friends before walking away, not bothering to say hello to anybody.
“Well, that never lasted long.” Henry said as I look my usually seat to him. He looked over at me cautiously and studied my face.
“What didn’t last long?”
“You not looking like a walking zombie.” He laughed at his own private joke before sighing.
“Wow, Henry, you really are too nice.” I yawned as I put my head down on the desk before Heechul walked over and hit it.
“YAH! You didn’t even say hi to me. How rude are you?!” He spat out before kissing the back of my head lightly. “You don’t look so well, are you alright?”
“Yes, I’m fine.” I said carefully, my voice a little choppy from trying to hold the tears back. I refused to remove my head from the desk and look at him, because if I did, the tears that I had held back so strongly since this morning would spill out just from looking at the friendly side of Heechul.
“You don’t look fine. Is it your parents?” Henry asked, worried about me seeing as if I ever felt this way, it was always due to my parents.
“No.” I said, even though they were a small fraction of the problem.
“Then what is it?” Both Heechul as well as Henry asked and I didn’t need to look at them to know what they were thinking.
“Just leave it.”
“No! We’re supposed to be your best friends; how can you not confine in us when something is wrong?” Heechul outraged.
“Back off, Heechul.” I said, finally looking up at him to give him a daring glare. He caught the message before going back to cuddle next to Siwon, needing to feel some love after I had gave him none. Bastard. He cares about me too much.
“Seriously though -” Henry started.
“That goes for you too. Just forget it.” I cut him off rudely as the teacher walked into the room, telling us all to be quiet anyways so he could take the register.
The rest of the day was rushed and a blur, only finally stopping to rest once I reached the dance studio in the school. It was already dark, the moonlight shining through the pale room as it pooled across the glistening wood floors. I walked in smoothly, pushing the heavy door open and sighed as I once again thought about Eunhyuk and imagined him with me, his body moving to the rhythm to the current song that was playing through my earphones. He could make up any dance to any song; given it had an alright beat and sometimes that didn’t even matter. I pulled out my earphones only because I found it simply terrifying to be in a dark room, alone at night while being unable to hear anything that was going on in my surroundings. The light was a great difference to dark as I flicked the switch, bringing the whole room into brightness.
“Hello.” A voice I had never heard before came from the middle of the room. I looked at the individual standing in front of me and squinted my eyes as if it would help me recognize him.
“Um, hi.” I said shyly as I looked at his face. His hair was long, about the same length as mine and the only thing I particularly noticed was his neck which was brimming with muscle. He wasn’t all that tall, but then again, neither was I. He didn’t have that bad of facial features really, he just wasn’t Eunhyuk. He just wasn’t Eunhyuk? Donghae, you’re not gay. YOU ARE NOT GAY.
“You’re Donghae right?” He asked me and I was left to think he was a stalker. How did he know my name if he wasn’t a stalker?
“Yes...”
“I’m Kibum. I’m Eunhyuk’s friend.” He said and I flinched at hearing Eunhyuk’s name; just the name alone brought back memories which threatened me with wanting to do repeat them. But I couldn’t do that... Because I Am Not Gay.
“What’s wrong?” He asked.
“What?”
“You flinched. Are you okay?” He said sweetly, looking at me straight in the eye and I felt my eyes water from being asked this simple question. A silent tear spilled and I reached up quickly to swipe it, hoping he wouldn’t notice. But, he did.
“Whoa, whoa, hey! What’s wrong? Don’t cry.” Kibum said but my vision was already blurred as he pulled me into his arms, my tears staining his clothes with wet patches. “Whatever it is, I’m sure it’s not worth crying over.”
“You have no idea.” I hiccupped out as I still continued to cry to my heart’s sorrowful content.
“I would if you told me what is wrong.”
This sentence was the last straw before I burst out into a fit of hysteria and mania, anything coming into my mind flew out of my mouth with absolutely no line of thought, probably incoherent on his behalf. “I’m not gay! I know I kissed him but I know I’m not gay. And yet, I also know that I am just lying to myself. Whenever I see him now, or think about him, or talk to him, I can’t stop thinking about what it would be like to kiss him. And now that I have kissed him, I want more! He is pulling me into an emotional whirlpool and I can’t get free from him; not that I even want to! And if my parents found out; damn, I don’t even want to think about it. They would chop his nuts, as well as mines, off and serve them to our neighbour’s dogs. He is just such a mystery. He’s the most beautiful man I have ever met; he talks with such ambiance and the words that come out never fail to amuse me...even the ones that freak me out; he dances like he belongs in a pop group with him being the lead dancer; he...”
“Who?”
“Eunhyuk.”
“Eunhyuk? You kissed Eunhyuk?” He said, his eyebrows burrowing. I shyly nodded and noticed his glance away for a moment before returning to look down at me.
“Listen, I don’t know how to say this so I’m just going to be blunt, okay? I don’t think Eunhyuk likes you.” He said as he gazed at me. I was shocked when I heard these words. Eunhyuk doesn’t like me? I asked this out loud and he simply nodded. My head fell forwards to his neck again and I let out a soft whimper. Of course Eunhyuk doesn’t like me. Why would he like me? Nobody likes me.
“But, I like you.” He said as if he could hear the voice in my head. He pulled my head away from his shoulders to look into my face and I didn’t look back; too shocked to even think. He gently pulled my face towards his, our lips locking for a second and I finally caught onto his plan before we heard a third person enter the room.
“Donghae?” The human said as I pulled away, looking over to see who the person was. My face turned to horror as I recognized Eunhyuk standing with a stricken look on his face. He gasped as he realised it was me before running back out the way in which he had arrived. Pushing Kibum to the ground, I ran swiftly after him, running down the endless hallways which seemed to go on forever, Eunhyuk always just one step ahead of me, out of my grasp.
“Eunhyuk! Please listen! Eunhyuk!” I shouted to him, watching him as he sped up and I did the same, following him as he ran down the stairs and jumping some in order to reach the bottom faster.
“YAH! EUNHYUK! IT ISN’T WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!” I flinched briefly and slowed down from sprinting before I sped up again as I heard myself say this and realised that everybody who had said this cliché knew within themselves that it was, in fact, exactly what it looked like. (But, for me, I like to think that it isn’t what it looks like. I mean, I don’t even know Kibum.)
“Eunhyuk, PLEASE!” I begged as I stopped to catch my breath, unable to run any further. “EUNHYUK, STOP!” I shouted forcefully, using all the air that was left in my lungs. He gradually slowed down and he stopped quite a distance away from where I was leaning over on my knees. I looked up to see him with his back to me, the darkness and his aura around him setting an unpleasant setting, the only light reaching the empty halls was the moonlight, which only provided limited light. His face was slightly turned to the side as if he wanted to hear what I had to say and I quickly took a deep breath before saying, “I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry? YOU’RE SORRY?” He turned around to face me and I could see the anger through his eyes, threatening to throw daggers at me with each word he had said, “You know what Donghae, fuck this. I have been fascinated with you since only God knows when and yet you still failed to fucking notice! I stutter when I’m around you, I say things I mean but don’t what you to know,” He paused for a breath, “I mean, we even kissed. WE EVEN FUCKING KISSED DONGHAE! How can you do this to me? I’m so sick of all your fucking running away, doing something and then immediately regretting it. Well, Donghae, I am fucking done. I AM FUCKING DONE. You can shove all your ‘simple outlook’ and your ‘good memory’ up your ass because I am not fucking interested anymore.” He shouted as he walked closer and closer to me and when he finally reached me, he lifted up his fist to punch me but my reflexes were quick. I stopped the punch with my hand before pushing him against the corridor wall, his body making a small slap as it slammed against it.
“What do you expect from me, Hyukjae?” I breathed onto him as he turned his face but I still saw the tears forming in his eyes, “I’m only human, Hyukkie. Don’t leave me like this.” I whispered lowly and he looked back up to me.
“Don’t leave you like this? Don’t leave you like what?” He said with a cold, fearful look in his eyes.
“Don’t leave me with just the memory of your lips. I want to remember all of you if you are going to leave me... I’m just unsure...” I whispered as I dipped my head lower but still not touching him; so close I could feel the air as he breathed in and out.
“I’m not going to be your experiment, Donghae.”
“You’re not my experiment. This is no experiment.” I said truthfully, knowing that it was no use lying anymore. This was not a phase; it was no an experiment. It was life.
It was though the entire world had faded around us as he glanced into my eyes and searched for an answer; unlike the last time he did this, I didn’t keep my eyes ungiving. I looked briefly at his pouting lips and licked my own before I was unable to hold back my lust. I gently pressed my lips against his and felt him breathe out deeply and pull away slightly before sighing. “Can’t we just press the reset?”
“There is no reset button.” He said before pushing me off of him. I slammed against the opposite wall from the force of the push as I watched him walk away slowly, knowing he was trying to keep himself from crying because I myself was doing the same.
“Eunhyuk, please, don’t go.” I tried once again. No matter what I did, I couldn’t lose him. He had become my lifeline in the last few days; my only support in the dreading place we call home. I pushed myself up from the wall to grab his wrist as I ran after him before pushing him into the nearest classroom door.
“This can’t be the end. It won’t be the end.” I said as I followed him, pushing him further and further back until he was against the teacher’s desk, slanted backwards. I covered his body with my own as I breathed into him; before I noticed loud breathing noises that never came from neither me nor Eunhyuk. We both looked to the other side of the room.
“Sungmin?” said Eunhyuk.
“Kyuhyun?” I said shortly after.
“What are you doing?” We said in unison.
i need to stop updating so quickly....oh but it is so addicting to write stuff! it's taking up all my time...
also! hopefully this chapter is more clear... tell me what you think guys!