Forgive me, for I have sinned

[whalesmcghee]

I am overcome with guilt, and confusion. Walking the six miles home from Freeland tonight, I began to think about the way in which Eve and I gave up all drugs together, on my suggestion. At the time, I said (and believed) it was because I didn't want us to change artificially because I felt sure that through artificial change we'd develop apart

Comments

[abbitha13]

"and I woke up every morning with my weekend kicking me in the head and shouting "you stupid bastard" in my ear" ohhh I know that feeling. If to a slightly lesser extent.
It does show how much you care for her that this whole other side of you is suddenly coming awake, but you know she's stronger than that, you said it yourself. Plus the fact, I for one really don't think you're going to be breaking up with eachother in the near futurexx

[royalvioletta]

Chris,

I don't think it's quite as selfish as you think. A lot of my friends quit their drug use together, and it definitely makes it easier. Some had done more than others, but it really didn't make that much of a difference. The point is, people don't give up drugs unless they want to. Same with drinking (I've temporarily given it up after a few not-so-mature episodes).

Really, this sounds pathetic, but I think it's the best course of action: talk to her about this. Just say what you've said here. You obviously love and understand each other enough to discuss things maturely.

Good luck,

<3clara

[whalesmcghee]

Oh, we've talked about it. That's what got this whole guilt thing started. She swears that she's happy and wouldn't have done anything outside of her own volition, but the irrational me saw some deep underlying melancholy whilst she made her promises and swore her love. I trust that she loves me, absolutely and completely, but whether or not she's happy in that love is another matter.
Today, though, she seemed fine and happy and enjoying herself as much as she ever has. I suppose this is all stupidity and insecurity, but I know it will persevere. It is a cost, but one I am prepared to meet.

[zombiebride_x]

You shouldn't be so hard on yourself.
Picture how Eve might become if you carried on letting her use drugs, after you'd have given up?
For all you or anybody knows, she very well may have built up an addiction.
Really, If anything you did yourself and her a favour.

x