matt was working and he said he saw nichole.... for some reason, its weird, but i want to see her again. i want to know what she looks like and how she is. i have no idea why. maybe because i want to feel better about myself? maybe cause she was such a big part of my life for so long, its hard not to be curious. but i havent heard or seen in in ( Read more... )

ambers gone, and no goodbye. i guess that shows how much i mattered. i begged to go into work just because i cant stand being at home anymore. im gonna be on 7 days this week. i need some money for the car. but now my parents are totally against me getting it which sucks. its not like they were giving me any money, but they at least supported me. ( Read more... )

learn to love me, assemble the ways. NOW! today, tomorrow, and always! my only weakness is a listed crime. my only weaknes is... well, never mind. i tried living in the real world, instead of a shell, but i was bored before i even began.

i feel like im always second best to people. like my feelings never come first. i was hanging out with john, and he makes plans with other people while im there in front of him for later that night, like dude, c ya, im gonna go now. people asking for favors, but not to hang out. people never having time for me. people insulting everything about me ( Read more... )

supposed to hang out tonight, but it might rain, and that would suck. but i gotta work early anyways. early night last night, but fun. im buying the new car too, which is gonna be hard. it leaves me ]a hundred bucks a week after all my bills are paid to goof off with, which might be nice. who knows. its a hot car though. paul called me today, and ( Read more... )

boring... i dont know what im doing tonight. i think my regular friday night plan is not going down, since im too tired. maybe ill jsut go to that show, and to bed. i took some money out of the bank either way. im getting that car i wanted. i figured if im gonna buy a brand new car, whats the differnce in my payments of only twenty bucks a month, i ( Read more... )

i meant to update this everyday, but i guess i forgot yesterday. im in a pretty good mood, but im really pissy. i went and test drove my new car yesterday. i have the color and everything picked out. thats gonna be cool. i still havent decided yet though. should i bother buying a new car? it would make me feel accomplishes and good about myself, ( Read more... )

last night i did a little drafting. it went really well too, so i was happy about that. called amber, she never called me back. not happy about that. i wanted to go out ot eat before she left. we havent seen eachother in a couple months maybe, adn then, it was only one time. so who knows. i have to work a half day today which is nice, since im not ( Read more... )

theres really nothing funny to say. i went to bed crazy early last night, and ive been tired lately. im having tons of fun at work too. weird? who would have guessed. btu im going to try to make regular updates with this journal now. i want to do daily posts. its a shame my life is boring and nothing goes on huh ( Read more... )

this is a weird post. ive decided that i shouldnt make private or friends only posts really. this is my life and im posting cause im lame and if people care, then go to town with it. ive had a rough few months. i lost my best friend, my newest friend, and my world. ive also been having trouble at home and with work. but all thats changing recently ( Read more... )