Written - Late-Night Musings

[whattheytellyou]

You know, I'm used to keeping a journal. Even if it was only a few lines written about my observations from the day, even if only to refer to a certain page in my field notebook, I wrote in one daily before I went to sleep

Comments

[championoftime]

I do think in many cases it can change us for the worse. There's no divide between who violence and uncertainty affects. And sometimes strength is a very difficult thing to keep a grasp on. [This is him completely agreeing, in his Doctory way.]

[whattheytellyou]

So the question is, what do we do about it? Change is inevitable - it's theorized that a single change in behavior can affect the course of history for an entire species, you know. Extinction because one animal decided to lead the herd too far north. Evolution because a fish crawled just a little further out of the water.

I can't help but worry about that sort of thing, on a smaller scale. I've changed my behavior to survive, but what happens when I go home?

[championoftime]

Are you in an environment anywhere close to how this ship is operated?

If not, I think it will pass. In time, it will pass. Because you'll have more interesting things to write in your journal. You must admit, this place doesn't lend to good controls when it comes to scientific observation.

[whattheytellyou]

No, it certainly doesn't.

[Private]

[expectremorse]

[...just some static. An attempted reply because there are a number of things he would like to say Why are you bitching about this?, This is totally normal, what gives you the right to complain when we suffer-all of that completely not acknowledging that you know-people like him harassing people doesn't help or anything.]

[Except, you know, he doesn't have the balls to send it so there's just a communication and then blip. done.]

[Private - Audio]

[whattheytellyou]

[There's a bit of a long silence on her end; she's waiting to see if he'll say something.

Finally, she just sighs.]

Hello, Mark.

[Private - Audio.]

[expectremorse]

[There's a bit of fumbling]

Hi.

[Way to act 12 Mark Hoffman. way to act 12. Sheepishly.]

How are you?

[Private - Audio.]

[whattheytellyou]

Here and there.

[We can have adult conversations. No, really.]

Tired.

[A beat.]

You?

[darknessb4me]

Everything changes you. Here you just see it happening.

[whattheytellyou]

I didn't expect to change this much in such a short period of time.

[majorum_pride]

As negatively as you view it, I see someone who has changed to survive. If you can do it once, you can do it again.

[whattheytellyou]

Survival is a great motivator of change. I hope you're right; I hope I can adapt to my old life once I'm through here.

[majorum_pride]

[He should be less fierce survivalist/individualist and more person here, shouldn't he? Yes, probably.] Starting over... er, the changing... I think it's probably harder without family- or someone you know well to do it alongside you. All great pioneers have colleagues and friends that motivate them. It's almost painful when you don't have those people.

[He says "almost". He means "is".]

[whattheytellyou]

I don't know about that. I think in a situation like that, it's more painful to change and see those changes reflected back in the way they view you. I'm almost afraid to go home and find out if the people I know even recognize me anymore.

[Almost. Am. We're playing a lot with 'almosts' today.]

[sharpememory]

Why did you keep a journal in the first place?

[whattheytellyou]

I'd like to pretend there's a very deep and lovely reason for it, but the truth of the matter is I was hoping to publish it one day, a la Dian Fossey.

[sharpememory]

That's a good enough reason. If you added some train wrecks and explosions, I'm sure it would sell.

[whattheytellyou]

What about lion attacks and dinosaurs?