FIC - Reaching Out (1/1)
Title: Reaching out
Author: wheelie47
Rating: PG
Pairing: Luke and Noah.
Word count: 5,002
Disclaimer: Don’t own characters, am not associated in any way with ATWT, Van and Jake. No offence intended.
Summary: Luke reaches out to Noah when they meet for the first time in different circumstances.
AN: Written for the meme challenge over on what_did_you_do with the prompt of: Blind in more ways than one
Noah Mayer spent the first few days of his stay at the Northwood Rehabilitation Centre in his room. If he'd had his way he would have spent those days and many more to come curled up in as small a ball as possible in his bed; trying to hide away from the harsh reality of his now sightless world.
But his doctors, nurses and therapists wouldn't let him be and insisted that he, at least, got up and dressed; even if he just sat in the armchair and stared blankly out of the window with eyes that would never see again.
Kerry, one of his therapists, kept trying to involve Noah in activities and exercises to help him manage and adjust to life as a blind man. But he wasn't interested. Sure, he paid lip service to what she was trying to teach him but the minute she left he sank back into apathy.
The nurses had even taken to leaving his door open; hoping that the sounds of activity from the corridor outside would entice him to take an interest. But all it succeeded in doing was to make him turn his back to the door.
That is until one day he heard a new voice at his open doorway. A rich and honeyed male voice that made him tilt his head to catch its nuances.
“Hello there,” the faceless and nameless voice spoke in his direction.
Getting no response, it tried again. “Can I come in?”
Although the voice had attracted his attention, Noah wasn't in the mood to talk. One of the things about being blind that Noah had realised, apart from the obvious inability to be able to see to do anything, was that it made him angry. He was angry with himself for the stupid on set fire work accident that had cost him his sight and he was angry with the doctors, nurses and therapists who couldn't restore his sight. In short… Noah Mayer was angry with the world.
But that wasn’t Noah. The young man had always been courteous and polite… everybody had always said so. He hated that his blindness was changing his personality… changing who he was.
“Whatever,” he sighed. At least he was trying; it hadn’t been a definite ‘no’.
“Thanks,” the voice replied and Noah could hear it getting closer. “My name’s Luke… Luke Snyder. What’s your’s?”
Noah felt a gentle tap on the back of his right hand where it lay curled around the arm of the armchair and he automatically turned it over to shake the other man’s hand.
Long warm fingers surrounded his, making his whole hand tingle at the touch. But something didn’t feel right to his sensitive fingers. As he drew back from the handshake, Noah could feel the ridges of forming calluses on Luke’s palm and finger tips. Strange.
“Noah,” he answered distractedly, his brain registering that he hadn’t heard the other man’s footsteps when he’d come closer... only an unusual rhythmic and repetitive sound that he couldn’t quite place.
“You don’t sound right,” he blurted out, tilting his head toward Luke.
“I don’t sound right?” Luke asked in confusion, his mind concentrating too much on just how right the other man’s hand had felt in his to understand what Noah had said.
“Oh…” A sudden realisation hit Luke. “…you mean because of this.” His fingers reached out and grasped Noah’s hand again, this time directing it down to the frame of his wheelchair.
Noah's fingers flinched back at the unexpected contact of the metal frame. He hesitantly ran his fingers further along, feeling the metal give way to plastic, then on to the rubber of a wheel and finally the coated hand rim.
“Oh… sorry.” Noah's voice sounded a little sheepish. The guy was in a wheelchair… now he understood.
“It's OK… you weren't to know,” Luke replied dismissively; he'd known the other man was blind as soon as he'd wheeled into the room. The folded white cane on the table by the armchair and the way Noah tilted his head toward him when Luke spoke gave it away, not to mention the healing but still livid scars that surrounded the brunette’s eyes.
“Do you work here?” The question startled Luke and he realised that he was staring at the handsome but marred features. He looked down quickly on reflex, unable to stop himself even though he knew Noah couldn't see.
“Ah… no. I'm another resident, patient, inmate… take your pick.” Luke tried to sound light-hearted but he knew just how difficult it was to adjust to life here; trying to cope with a newly acquired disability. He'd been here four months already and he was still finding it hard.
“Did they send you, then?” Noah frowned, wondering just why this guy had come to see him. His suspicious mind thinking that one of his therapists, Kerry maybe, had asked another patient to come and see him to try to get him to show an interest in life again.
“They? No, nobody sent me. I wanted to say Hi…I guess I'm just really kinda nosy.” Luke shook his head and smiled as he shrugged his shoulders, even though the other man couldn't see the gesture.
It was true. He had wheeled past the dark-haired man's room several times on the way to the hospital canteen or his physical therapy sessions. In fact, he'd often made a detour to come past Noah's open door; wondering just what the story was behind this man that sat in his room all alone, day in day out.
Luke’s eyes were drawn back up to Noah’s face, finding himself studying every prominent feature.
“You’re staring at me. I can feel it,” Noah bristled, sitting more upright in his chair.
“I… I’m sorry,” Luke stuttered, angry at himself and he averted his eyes once again. “I was actually wondering if you wanted to… um... No, forget it. I should maybe just leave you in peace.” He started to turn his chair toward the open door.
“No wait,” Noah called out, feeling a little guilty at hearing the hurt and disappointed tone in Luke's voice.
“I'm… sorry,” he apologised. Noah was so tired with being angry all the time; it was exhausting. “What were you wondering?”
“It's… it's nothing,” Luke replied as he turned his wheelchair back to face the other man. “It was kind of a stupid idea anyway. Forget it.”
“No, please… just tell me,” Noah insisted.
Luke took a deep breath. “I was just wondering… if… if you wanted to come outside with me. It's a beautiful day out there.” It pulled on his heartstrings that this man was sat here alone in his room, while others were out in the sunshine. He knew first hand what that feeling was like… how it could begin to destroy you from the inside.
“Not that I can see it,” Noah muttered darkly.
Luke moved his chair closer. “No… but you can feel it, Noah. You can feel the sun on your skin and feel the gentle breeze ruffle your hair. Please come?”
Noah had to admit that the other man's words tempted him but he was scared. New places were full of unfamiliar objects and barriers that just seemed to get in his way and confusing sounds that disorientated him till he was utterly and hopelessly lost.
“It’s OK. We don’t have to go far,” Luke spoke as if he could read Noah’s mind. “You have a patio right outside your window.”
“I do?” Noah asked. Nobody had told him that before, not that he’d given anybody the chance to explain details like that. He felt a twinge of guilt twist in his stomach at the way he’d snapped at the nurses.
“Yep. So what do you say… wanna give it a try?” Luke asked, moving even closer.
Noah could almost hear the smile in Luke’s voice and he found himself smiling back.
“OK,” he replied simply, reaching for his cane.
Luke was so intent on staring at the breathtaking smile that he didn’t notice Noah was extending his white cane.
“Ow!” the young man exclaimed as it poked him in the shoulder.
“Shit! I'm so sorry, Luke. I’m kinda new to this!” Noah hurriedly apologised.
“It's OK,” Luke reassured as he rubbed his shoulder. “But work on your Jedi light sabre skills you must.” He gave his best Yoda impression before lapsing into a fit of giggles.
Noah was horrified at first; thinking he'd hurt the other man. He was also annoyed with himself for not opening his cane properly. But Luke's laughter was infectious and he couldn't help but join in with his own deep chuckles, leaning on his cane for support.
“Yes, Master Yoda.” Noah tried his Luke Skywalker impression before it dawned on him that the fictional character shared the same first name as the man in front of him. A fact that had him almost doubled up with laughter. God, it felt good to laugh again!
“OK. So… let’s try this again,” Luke managed once he had controlled his own laughter. “I’ll go first.”
He moved forward to open the patio door and wheeled through the opening.
“The door’s about three paces in front of you and then there’s a bench just on the other side …” Luke began.
“Let me try, ” Noah interrupted as he tentatively took a step forward; moving his cane in an arc in front of him, tapping from right to left and back again like Kerry had told him.
The brunette smiled when he managed to negotiate the open doorway. He reached out to feel for the back of the bench when he felt the tip of his cane strike its leg. Working his hand down to the armrest, he turned and eased himself gently down onto the seat.
“There!” He felt a certain pride growing in his chest at his achievement.
Noah rested his tall frame against the seat back and closed his sightless eyes, enjoying the feel of the warmth on his skin… whilst desperately trying to ignore the fact that it made no difference if his eyes were open or closed. Luke had been right; it felt good to be out in the sun.
“Good for you,” Luke murmured, not wanting to disturb the other man too much.
He wheeled closer and found himself wishing that Noah would open those breathtakingly beautiful blue eyes of his again. He shook his head… knowing he was being selfish.
Noah knew that Luke was staring at him again but this time he was content to let it slide. Now that they were away from the antiseptic smell of the building, his other senses seemed to hit overdrive. He could smell Luke’s aftershave and could almost feel the body heat from the other man.
“What happened to you?” Noah asked; he wasn't sure what the exact etiquette was for asking that kind of question when you’d just met. But he found himself wanting to know more about Luke.
“Horse riding accident. My family breeds horses. My horse got spooked by something while I was out riding with my dad and I fell awkwardly,” Luke replied simply. He’d found that the less detail he gave about his accident, the easier it was to recall; almost like it had happened to somebody else… almost.
Noah's heart went out to the other man and he opened his sightless eyes, tilting his head in Luke’s direction. “Is there any chance…” He gestured in the direction of Luke's legs.
Luke began to shake his head and then caught himself at the last moment. “No. I landed on a jagged rock. It shattered my spine.” His voice started to crack.
“I'm… I… I'm sorry, Luke.” Noah didn't know what else to say.
The other man swallowed hard, trying to get his emotions in check. “What…um.. what about you?” Luke's question was tentative.
Noah sighed and tried Luke’s method of keeping things simple. “It was a filming accident. Stupid really. A firework went off in my face. And before you ask… no. There's no chance of getting my sight back; the doctors said there was too much damage to my optical nerves.”
“I’m sorry, Noah. That sucks,” Luke responded sadly, his fingers itching to sooth away the despondent frown.
The brunette nodded, grateful that Luke hadn’t rolled out some throw away comment about how he would adjust to things in time. It wasn’t something that he wanted to hear right now.
The two of them lapsed into silence, both lost in their own thoughts.
After a little while, Luke reluctantly looked at his watch. “I’m sorry, Noah, but I should get going. It’s nearly visiting time and mom will only worry if they can’t find me. Besides, I wouldn’t want to intrude when your visitors get here.” He really didn’t want to leave yet, especially when he’d just got the other man to talk to him.
“It’s OK… you should get going. And don’t worry; you wouldn’t have been intruding. I don’t have any visitors,” Noah murmured, clutching his cane tighter.
“Really? No family or…” Luke’s voice petered out in horror; the words had tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop them. He really could slap himself sometimes for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time!
“No. My mom died when I was young and my dad… well… I guess he just didn’t go for the whole gay son thing. We haven’t spoken in years.” Noah startled himself by revealing some much of his life to an almost complete stranger. Why did he feel drawn to tell the other man everything about himself?
“Oh…I see.” Luke’s voice sounded shocked.
“Look, Luke, if the gay thing is a problem then… maybe… you should just leave now!” The last thing Noah wanted to deal with was some homophobic idiot on top of everything else.
Luke’s chuckle startled the other man; that wasn’t exactly the reaction he was expecting. “It’s not a problem, Noah. In fact… same here!”
“Oh… OK. Well, that’s alright then,” Noah’s voice was a mixture of shock and relief.
“Well, I'm glad we got that settled.” Noah could hear the smile in Luke's voice again. “But listen, my grandma Emma always brings enough goodies to feed an army and I know the food here is inedible at best. So I was kinda thinking… that if you want… you could come and spend some time with me and my family.”
The brunette was touched. “Thanks, but I'm OK.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I'm sure. You should go be with your family.”
Luke hesitated before turning toward the door; he hated the thought of leaving this guy out here on his own. “Do you want some help getting back in?”
“No. I think I'll just sit out here a little while longer.” He paused, uncertain how to continue. “Um… Luke… will you come back tomorrow?” Noah asked hesitantly, surprised at his own need to spend more time with the other man. It was so hard for him to reach out to people.
“Sure,” Luke smiled widely; shocked but delighted that the brunette had asked him to come back again.
“Well, bye then, Noah... until tomorrow.” He touched the back of Noah's hand before turning and wheeling back in through the open doorway.
The brunette sat motionless; marvelling at the tingling warmth of the touch on his skin…
…
And true to his word, Luke came back the next day and the following day, and the day after that and the day after that.
The pair became almost inseparable; the nurses knowing that they would usually find the two of them together… talking quietly or laughing or just sitting in companionable silence…
…
A week later, Luke came wheeling into Noah’s room. “So, Noah, are you up for a challenge… a bit of adventure?”
At the sound of the other man’s voice, Noah turned in Luke’s direction. “Huh?”
It was times like this that Luke was thankful that the handsome brunette couldn’t see his face. Luke’s breath caught in his throat and he found himself staring open-mouthed at the sight in front of him.
Noah was stood at the foot of his bed; dressed in blue jeans that bulged in all the right places, a white T-shirt that was taut across defined stomach muscles and an open, red-checked, short sleeved button down.
As his eyes continued up the long lines of Noah’s body to reach his face, Luke noticed, for the first, that the dark hair was getting long enough to begin to curl naturally and his fingers itched to comb through the luxuriant tresses. Luke had to swallow down his burning frustration that not all of his body reacted the way it used to when confronted by such a handsome specimen of the male gender.
“Luke? What challenge?” Noah asked, completely oblivious to his effect on the other man.
Luke blinked and had to look away. “I… I… um.”
He took a deep breath and began again. “My physio tells me I need to work on my all-terrain skills as well as building up my upper body strength. There’s a pond on the far side of the grounds that I haven't been to yet. And… I thought you might want to come along.”
Noah hesitated; he didn't like the thought of the other man going to the pond on his own but the brunette hadn't ventured very far from the centre and he was nervous about going all that way. “I don't know, Luke. That’s quite a distance.”
“Oh, come on, Noah,” Luke encouraged, with a chuckle. “What with your legs and my eyes, we make an awesome team. What can go wrong?”
“You want a list? Anyway… what's in it for me?” He teased in response to Luke's chuckle.
Luke's smile widened; he loved the banter that had grown between them. “Grandma Emma's oatmeal raisin cookies,” he tempted, reaching forward to place the offering in the other man’s hand.
Noah brought the package up to his nose and sniffed deeply. “Mmmm!” He undid the wrapping, grabbed the cookie on top, bought it to his mouth and took a large bite.
He stifled a groan as the cookie all but melted in his mouth. “This is so good!” he murmured as he swallowed the last bite and Luke watched, transfixed as the man's Adam's Apple bobbed up and down.
“But you need to work on your bribing technique, Luke. Because now that I've got the cookies already, where's my incentive?”
“The promise of more later?” Luke replied, not entirely sure if he was talking about cookies anymore…
…
“Tell me what you can see, Luke.” There was an edge of urgency to Noah's voice that made Luke look up at the other man.
Noah could hear that the usual busy sounds around the centre had given way to the more subtle sounds of birds singing and his nostrils flared at the rich, earthy woodland smell that surrounded him. But he wanted to picture in his mind's eye how the different senses fitted together.
“Well…” Luke began slowly, taking a good look around as he could tell how important this was to Noah. “We're on a path that’s surrounded on either side by tall trees and the sunlight is dappling through the branches. The leaves are a rich, deep green and they’re moving in the soft breeze… almost like they are performing a slow majestic synchronized dance.” Luke's voice sounded wistful.
He looked up at the tall brunette to see if this was okay.
Noah tilted his head forward eagerly. “Go on!”
“The path is about to fork off to the left in a slow graceful arc back toward the centre. But we need to leave the path here and head off over the grass to the pond on our right.” Luke continued, grunting with exertion as he manoeuvred his chair off the path. “It's a little bumpy here… so be careful.”
He stopped when he realised Noah wasn't following him anymore. He turned his chair to face the other man. “Noah? What are you doing?” Luke asked in surprise when he saw Noah was kneeling down and taking his shoes off.
“I want to feel the grass under my feet,” Noah replied; his voice cracking. If he couldn't see it he wanted to make damn sure that he could feel it as much as possible. A realisation suddenly hit him and he raised his head in Luke's direction. “Luke… I… I'm sorry… I …I didn't mean…”
“It's OK… really. You didn't upset me. We have to be able to say what we want. I don’t know what you’re thinking unless you tell me. But…” Luke chuckled, “… don’t blame me if you tread in something icky!”
He grasped the chair’s hand rims and began to turn back in the other direction. As he turned, the front caster wheel caught in a rut, sending the chair toppling and spilling Luke to the grass.
“Shit!” he grimaced in pain, clutching his shoulder.
“Luke?!” Noah stumbled to his feet at the sound of the other man in pain.
“Where are you?” He began swinging his cane in front of him, feeling the panic bubbling up in his chest. Shit…damn his useless eyes!
The young man took a step forward when his cane hit the frame of the overturned wheelchair.
“Luke?” Noah called again as his hand felt along the metal, trying to find where the stricken man had fallen.
“Noah, stop!” Luke groaned in warning when he saw Noah was about to stumble forward over his left leg. “I'm right here.” He struggled with his hurt shoulder and unresponsive legs to try and reach out, managing to curl his fingers around Noah's ankle.
Noah sighed with relief when he felt the warmth of Luke's fingers on his skin. “Are you hurt?” he asked urgently, crouching down and reaching out to feel for Luke's body.
“It's my shoulder. Can you help me back into my chair?” he asked in pain as cradled his elbow, trying to keep his shoulder still.
With the help of the other man’s directions, Noah managed to set the wheelchair upright again.
As he gently lifted Luke in his arms, he couldn't help but chuckle. “What did you say about nothing going wrong?”
Feeling safe against Noah's warm chest, Luke breathed through the pain and had to agree. “Probably not one of my best ideas”…
…
When Luke didn't wheel into Noah's room at the usual time the next day, the brunette began to worry.
The later it got, the more Noah worried. In the end his concern for the other man outweighed his insecurity at finding his way around the centre on his own, and he set out in search of Luke's room.
He'd been to Luke's room before but never on his own and he tried to remember each corridor and each turn along the way.
The young man was actually feeling quite pleased with himself as he managed to find his way along with the use of his cane and his memory without getting lost or bumping into anything.
That was until Noah turned the corner and was engulfed in a group of people heading the other way, laughing and talking loudly.
The tall brunette froze on the spot as the noise surrounded him, feeling utterly and hopelessly confused.
Even when the noise faded away as the group passed on further down the hall, Noah didn’t move… fearing to take another step.
“Noah, are you OK?” A sure hand gripped his forearm and Noah sighed in relief when he recognized the voice as Emily’s, one of the nurses.
“I… I …” he stuttered. He stopped to take a deep steadying breath. “I'm trying to find Luke's room.”
“You're almost there. It's at the end of this corridor. Do you want some help?”
“Thank you,” he nodded slightly.... he knew he should probably try to carry on by himself and he hated asking for help but the episode had shaken him.
Noah grasped her elbow and let the woman guide him the rest of the way…
…
“Luke?” Noah opened the door slowly and called softly out into the room after getting no response to his knock.
“Noah!” Luke's voice sounded surprised but with an edge of grogginess to it like he'd just woken up.
Noah paused in the open doorway. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you… I'll come back later.”
“No… no!” Luke's reply came quickly. “Please stay. Keep me company.”
The tall brunette concentrated on stepping into the room and turning to close the door behind him before replying. “Are you OK? I was worried.”
He could hear the other man's frustrated sigh from the other side of the room. “I sprained my shoulder and I've got a nasty bruise on my hip from the fall. So I'm confined to this stupid fucking bed for the duration!” Noah heard what sounded like a clenched fist being thumped against the mattress.
Noah made his way over to Luke's bedside, reaching for the back of the armchair when he heard his cane strike the leg.
“I'm sorry,” he murmured as he eased himself down onto the seat and folded his cane.
“It's just so fucking frustrating!” Luke muttered darkly. “I had to spend enough time on bed rest when I had the accident in the first place and now I’m here again!” He had to bite down on the last word to stop his voice cracking and he could feel the tears welling up in his eyes. Damn! He hated it when he cried.
“I'm sorry, Luke” Noah found himself apologising again. “If it hadn't been for me distracting you, this wouldn't have happened.”
“Don't you dare apologise, Noah. This was not your fault. Do you hear me?” He paused, waiting until the other man nodded his head slowly. “I suppose I was going to fall out of the chair at some point. At least you there to help me.” He hated it when Noah was so hard on himself.
Noah wasn’t completely convinced and he was beginning to think he shouldn’t have come. “Perhaps I should just leave you to get some rest,” he murmured as he started to stand.
Something inside Luke broke as he watched the handsome brunette’s face crumple into dejection.
The young man reached up from where he was lying and grasped Noah’s hand. “Please don’t go, Noah.” Luke’s voice was barely above a whisper. “Don’t you know that I like being around you?”
Luke sighed. “I like you Noah… like you like that.” He took a deep steadying breath as he finally admitted what he’d felt building for a while now. “And if you don’t know that by now, then you’re blind in more ways than one.”
Noah didn’t move; letting Luke's words sink in. And it hit him, as he thought back over the short time he’d known Luke, that he had been so receptive to Luke when the other man had reached out to him, where others had failed, because he felt exactly the same. He liked Luke like that too.
“I… I wish I could see your face… just once.” Noah's words came out in an anguished gasp; feeling his emotions bubbling so close to the surface that he couldn't contain them.
Wordlessly, Luke turned Noah's hand over and brought it up to his own face so that the long fingers brushed against the skin above his eyebrow.
“Luke,” Noah breathed out huskily as he stumbled forward slightly, tracing his sensitive finger tips along Luke's eyebrow to the side of his face.
His fingers came into contact with the other man's soft silky hair and he brushed a loose strand back behind Luke's ear. “What… what colour is your hair?” he asked breathlessly, wondering why he'd never asked Luke to describe himself before.
“Blonde,” Luke murmured distractedly, intent on watching Noah's own facial features as the man's finger tips explored his face.
Noah's fingers continued their path down over Luke's cheek, tracing over the stubbled jaw; the sensation sending pin pricks of arousal radiating up his arm from his finger tips, before moving on to the prominent cleft chin.
He tentatively moved his fingers slowly upward to Luke's lips, the hot breath that ghosted across his skin making his own breath come in short ragged bursts.
“Smile for me,” Noah whispered, his fingers trembling as the supple lips moved obediently.
Luke covered the brunette’s hand with his again and, turning it once more, he pressed his lips to the open palm.
“Need to kiss you.” There was an edge of desperate urgency to Noah’s voice as he reached out with his other hand to feel for the edge of the mattress before sitting down as close to Luke as he could.
Luke released Noah's hand to stretch up and guide the brunette's head down closer; bringing their mouths together.
The kiss was tentative at first, barely more than a brush of lips. It built in a smouldering intensity as their confidence grew until eager and exploring tongues darted through parted and willing lips.
They pulled apart, breathless, when the need for oxygen became too great.
Noah moved his hand from where it had cupped the other man’s face during their kiss, stroking gently down the side of Luke’s neck and along his shoulder. Continuing along the arm, Noah smirked when he reached the blonde’s forearm and his finger tips felt the goose bumps that he knew his touch had caused.
Noah’s long fingers closed around Luke’s when they reached his hand; his thumb gently caressing the skin between thumb and forefinger.
They stayed like that for long minutes… just holding hands in silence. Both thankful that they had found each other… had found some comfort and solace from the stormy onslaught of coping with what life had thrown at them.
The End
Back to fic master post
Author: wheelie47
Rating: PG
Pairing: Luke and Noah.
Word count: 5,002
Disclaimer: Don’t own characters, am not associated in any way with ATWT, Van and Jake. No offence intended.
Summary: Luke reaches out to Noah when they meet for the first time in different circumstances.
AN: Written for the meme challenge over on what_did_you_do with the prompt of: Blind in more ways than one
Noah Mayer spent the first few days of his stay at the Northwood Rehabilitation Centre in his room. If he'd had his way he would have spent those days and many more to come curled up in as small a ball as possible in his bed; trying to hide away from the harsh reality of his now sightless world.
But his doctors, nurses and therapists wouldn't let him be and insisted that he, at least, got up and dressed; even if he just sat in the armchair and stared blankly out of the window with eyes that would never see again.
Kerry, one of his therapists, kept trying to involve Noah in activities and exercises to help him manage and adjust to life as a blind man. But he wasn't interested. Sure, he paid lip service to what she was trying to teach him but the minute she left he sank back into apathy.
The nurses had even taken to leaving his door open; hoping that the sounds of activity from the corridor outside would entice him to take an interest. But all it succeeded in doing was to make him turn his back to the door.
That is until one day he heard a new voice at his open doorway. A rich and honeyed male voice that made him tilt his head to catch its nuances.
“Hello there,” the faceless and nameless voice spoke in his direction.
Getting no response, it tried again. “Can I come in?”
Although the voice had attracted his attention, Noah wasn't in the mood to talk. One of the things about being blind that Noah had realised, apart from the obvious inability to be able to see to do anything, was that it made him angry. He was angry with himself for the stupid on set fire work accident that had cost him his sight and he was angry with the doctors, nurses and therapists who couldn't restore his sight. In short… Noah Mayer was angry with the world.
But that wasn’t Noah. The young man had always been courteous and polite… everybody had always said so. He hated that his blindness was changing his personality… changing who he was.
“Whatever,” he sighed. At least he was trying; it hadn’t been a definite ‘no’.
“Thanks,” the voice replied and Noah could hear it getting closer. “My name’s Luke… Luke Snyder. What’s your’s?”
Noah felt a gentle tap on the back of his right hand where it lay curled around the arm of the armchair and he automatically turned it over to shake the other man’s hand.
Long warm fingers surrounded his, making his whole hand tingle at the touch. But something didn’t feel right to his sensitive fingers. As he drew back from the handshake, Noah could feel the ridges of forming calluses on Luke’s palm and finger tips. Strange.
“Noah,” he answered distractedly, his brain registering that he hadn’t heard the other man’s footsteps when he’d come closer... only an unusual rhythmic and repetitive sound that he couldn’t quite place.
“You don’t sound right,” he blurted out, tilting his head toward Luke.
“I don’t sound right?” Luke asked in confusion, his mind concentrating too much on just how right the other man’s hand had felt in his to understand what Noah had said.
“Oh…” A sudden realisation hit Luke. “…you mean because of this.” His fingers reached out and grasped Noah’s hand again, this time directing it down to the frame of his wheelchair.
Noah's fingers flinched back at the unexpected contact of the metal frame. He hesitantly ran his fingers further along, feeling the metal give way to plastic, then on to the rubber of a wheel and finally the coated hand rim.
“Oh… sorry.” Noah's voice sounded a little sheepish. The guy was in a wheelchair… now he understood.
“It's OK… you weren't to know,” Luke replied dismissively; he'd known the other man was blind as soon as he'd wheeled into the room. The folded white cane on the table by the armchair and the way Noah tilted his head toward him when Luke spoke gave it away, not to mention the healing but still livid scars that surrounded the brunette’s eyes.
“Do you work here?” The question startled Luke and he realised that he was staring at the handsome but marred features. He looked down quickly on reflex, unable to stop himself even though he knew Noah couldn't see.
“Ah… no. I'm another resident, patient, inmate… take your pick.” Luke tried to sound light-hearted but he knew just how difficult it was to adjust to life here; trying to cope with a newly acquired disability. He'd been here four months already and he was still finding it hard.
“Did they send you, then?” Noah frowned, wondering just why this guy had come to see him. His suspicious mind thinking that one of his therapists, Kerry maybe, had asked another patient to come and see him to try to get him to show an interest in life again.
“They? No, nobody sent me. I wanted to say Hi…I guess I'm just really kinda nosy.” Luke shook his head and smiled as he shrugged his shoulders, even though the other man couldn't see the gesture.
It was true. He had wheeled past the dark-haired man's room several times on the way to the hospital canteen or his physical therapy sessions. In fact, he'd often made a detour to come past Noah's open door; wondering just what the story was behind this man that sat in his room all alone, day in day out.
Luke’s eyes were drawn back up to Noah’s face, finding himself studying every prominent feature.
“You’re staring at me. I can feel it,” Noah bristled, sitting more upright in his chair.
“I… I’m sorry,” Luke stuttered, angry at himself and he averted his eyes once again. “I was actually wondering if you wanted to… um... No, forget it. I should maybe just leave you in peace.” He started to turn his chair toward the open door.
“No wait,” Noah called out, feeling a little guilty at hearing the hurt and disappointed tone in Luke's voice.
“I'm… sorry,” he apologised. Noah was so tired with being angry all the time; it was exhausting. “What were you wondering?”
“It's… it's nothing,” Luke replied as he turned his wheelchair back to face the other man. “It was kind of a stupid idea anyway. Forget it.”
“No, please… just tell me,” Noah insisted.
Luke took a deep breath. “I was just wondering… if… if you wanted to come outside with me. It's a beautiful day out there.” It pulled on his heartstrings that this man was sat here alone in his room, while others were out in the sunshine. He knew first hand what that feeling was like… how it could begin to destroy you from the inside.
“Not that I can see it,” Noah muttered darkly.
Luke moved his chair closer. “No… but you can feel it, Noah. You can feel the sun on your skin and feel the gentle breeze ruffle your hair. Please come?”
Noah had to admit that the other man's words tempted him but he was scared. New places were full of unfamiliar objects and barriers that just seemed to get in his way and confusing sounds that disorientated him till he was utterly and hopelessly lost.
“It’s OK. We don’t have to go far,” Luke spoke as if he could read Noah’s mind. “You have a patio right outside your window.”
“I do?” Noah asked. Nobody had told him that before, not that he’d given anybody the chance to explain details like that. He felt a twinge of guilt twist in his stomach at the way he’d snapped at the nurses.
“Yep. So what do you say… wanna give it a try?” Luke asked, moving even closer.
Noah could almost hear the smile in Luke’s voice and he found himself smiling back.
“OK,” he replied simply, reaching for his cane.
Luke was so intent on staring at the breathtaking smile that he didn’t notice Noah was extending his white cane.
“Ow!” the young man exclaimed as it poked him in the shoulder.
“Shit! I'm so sorry, Luke. I’m kinda new to this!” Noah hurriedly apologised.
“It's OK,” Luke reassured as he rubbed his shoulder. “But work on your Jedi light sabre skills you must.” He gave his best Yoda impression before lapsing into a fit of giggles.
Noah was horrified at first; thinking he'd hurt the other man. He was also annoyed with himself for not opening his cane properly. But Luke's laughter was infectious and he couldn't help but join in with his own deep chuckles, leaning on his cane for support.
“Yes, Master Yoda.” Noah tried his Luke Skywalker impression before it dawned on him that the fictional character shared the same first name as the man in front of him. A fact that had him almost doubled up with laughter. God, it felt good to laugh again!
“OK. So… let’s try this again,” Luke managed once he had controlled his own laughter. “I’ll go first.”
He moved forward to open the patio door and wheeled through the opening.
“The door’s about three paces in front of you and then there’s a bench just on the other side …” Luke began.
“Let me try, ” Noah interrupted as he tentatively took a step forward; moving his cane in an arc in front of him, tapping from right to left and back again like Kerry had told him.
The brunette smiled when he managed to negotiate the open doorway. He reached out to feel for the back of the bench when he felt the tip of his cane strike its leg. Working his hand down to the armrest, he turned and eased himself gently down onto the seat.
“There!” He felt a certain pride growing in his chest at his achievement.
Noah rested his tall frame against the seat back and closed his sightless eyes, enjoying the feel of the warmth on his skin… whilst desperately trying to ignore the fact that it made no difference if his eyes were open or closed. Luke had been right; it felt good to be out in the sun.
“Good for you,” Luke murmured, not wanting to disturb the other man too much.
He wheeled closer and found himself wishing that Noah would open those breathtakingly beautiful blue eyes of his again. He shook his head… knowing he was being selfish.
Noah knew that Luke was staring at him again but this time he was content to let it slide. Now that they were away from the antiseptic smell of the building, his other senses seemed to hit overdrive. He could smell Luke’s aftershave and could almost feel the body heat from the other man.
“What happened to you?” Noah asked; he wasn't sure what the exact etiquette was for asking that kind of question when you’d just met. But he found himself wanting to know more about Luke.
“Horse riding accident. My family breeds horses. My horse got spooked by something while I was out riding with my dad and I fell awkwardly,” Luke replied simply. He’d found that the less detail he gave about his accident, the easier it was to recall; almost like it had happened to somebody else… almost.
Noah's heart went out to the other man and he opened his sightless eyes, tilting his head in Luke’s direction. “Is there any chance…” He gestured in the direction of Luke's legs.
Luke began to shake his head and then caught himself at the last moment. “No. I landed on a jagged rock. It shattered my spine.” His voice started to crack.
“I'm… I… I'm sorry, Luke.” Noah didn't know what else to say.
The other man swallowed hard, trying to get his emotions in check. “What…um.. what about you?” Luke's question was tentative.
Noah sighed and tried Luke’s method of keeping things simple. “It was a filming accident. Stupid really. A firework went off in my face. And before you ask… no. There's no chance of getting my sight back; the doctors said there was too much damage to my optical nerves.”
“I’m sorry, Noah. That sucks,” Luke responded sadly, his fingers itching to sooth away the despondent frown.
The brunette nodded, grateful that Luke hadn’t rolled out some throw away comment about how he would adjust to things in time. It wasn’t something that he wanted to hear right now.
The two of them lapsed into silence, both lost in their own thoughts.
After a little while, Luke reluctantly looked at his watch. “I’m sorry, Noah, but I should get going. It’s nearly visiting time and mom will only worry if they can’t find me. Besides, I wouldn’t want to intrude when your visitors get here.” He really didn’t want to leave yet, especially when he’d just got the other man to talk to him.
“It’s OK… you should get going. And don’t worry; you wouldn’t have been intruding. I don’t have any visitors,” Noah murmured, clutching his cane tighter.
“Really? No family or…” Luke’s voice petered out in horror; the words had tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop them. He really could slap himself sometimes for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time!
“No. My mom died when I was young and my dad… well… I guess he just didn’t go for the whole gay son thing. We haven’t spoken in years.” Noah startled himself by revealing some much of his life to an almost complete stranger. Why did he feel drawn to tell the other man everything about himself?
“Oh…I see.” Luke’s voice sounded shocked.
“Look, Luke, if the gay thing is a problem then… maybe… you should just leave now!” The last thing Noah wanted to deal with was some homophobic idiot on top of everything else.
Luke’s chuckle startled the other man; that wasn’t exactly the reaction he was expecting. “It’s not a problem, Noah. In fact… same here!”
“Oh… OK. Well, that’s alright then,” Noah’s voice was a mixture of shock and relief.
“Well, I'm glad we got that settled.” Noah could hear the smile in Luke's voice again. “But listen, my grandma Emma always brings enough goodies to feed an army and I know the food here is inedible at best. So I was kinda thinking… that if you want… you could come and spend some time with me and my family.”
The brunette was touched. “Thanks, but I'm OK.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I'm sure. You should go be with your family.”
Luke hesitated before turning toward the door; he hated the thought of leaving this guy out here on his own. “Do you want some help getting back in?”
“No. I think I'll just sit out here a little while longer.” He paused, uncertain how to continue. “Um… Luke… will you come back tomorrow?” Noah asked hesitantly, surprised at his own need to spend more time with the other man. It was so hard for him to reach out to people.
“Sure,” Luke smiled widely; shocked but delighted that the brunette had asked him to come back again.
“Well, bye then, Noah... until tomorrow.” He touched the back of Noah's hand before turning and wheeling back in through the open doorway.
The brunette sat motionless; marvelling at the tingling warmth of the touch on his skin…
…
And true to his word, Luke came back the next day and the following day, and the day after that and the day after that.
The pair became almost inseparable; the nurses knowing that they would usually find the two of them together… talking quietly or laughing or just sitting in companionable silence…
…
A week later, Luke came wheeling into Noah’s room. “So, Noah, are you up for a challenge… a bit of adventure?”
At the sound of the other man’s voice, Noah turned in Luke’s direction. “Huh?”
It was times like this that Luke was thankful that the handsome brunette couldn’t see his face. Luke’s breath caught in his throat and he found himself staring open-mouthed at the sight in front of him.
Noah was stood at the foot of his bed; dressed in blue jeans that bulged in all the right places, a white T-shirt that was taut across defined stomach muscles and an open, red-checked, short sleeved button down.
As his eyes continued up the long lines of Noah’s body to reach his face, Luke noticed, for the first, that the dark hair was getting long enough to begin to curl naturally and his fingers itched to comb through the luxuriant tresses. Luke had to swallow down his burning frustration that not all of his body reacted the way it used to when confronted by such a handsome specimen of the male gender.
“Luke? What challenge?” Noah asked, completely oblivious to his effect on the other man.
Luke blinked and had to look away. “I… I… um.”
He took a deep breath and began again. “My physio tells me I need to work on my all-terrain skills as well as building up my upper body strength. There’s a pond on the far side of the grounds that I haven't been to yet. And… I thought you might want to come along.”
Noah hesitated; he didn't like the thought of the other man going to the pond on his own but the brunette hadn't ventured very far from the centre and he was nervous about going all that way. “I don't know, Luke. That’s quite a distance.”
“Oh, come on, Noah,” Luke encouraged, with a chuckle. “What with your legs and my eyes, we make an awesome team. What can go wrong?”
“You want a list? Anyway… what's in it for me?” He teased in response to Luke's chuckle.
Luke's smile widened; he loved the banter that had grown between them. “Grandma Emma's oatmeal raisin cookies,” he tempted, reaching forward to place the offering in the other man’s hand.
Noah brought the package up to his nose and sniffed deeply. “Mmmm!” He undid the wrapping, grabbed the cookie on top, bought it to his mouth and took a large bite.
He stifled a groan as the cookie all but melted in his mouth. “This is so good!” he murmured as he swallowed the last bite and Luke watched, transfixed as the man's Adam's Apple bobbed up and down.
“But you need to work on your bribing technique, Luke. Because now that I've got the cookies already, where's my incentive?”
“The promise of more later?” Luke replied, not entirely sure if he was talking about cookies anymore…
…
“Tell me what you can see, Luke.” There was an edge of urgency to Noah's voice that made Luke look up at the other man.
Noah could hear that the usual busy sounds around the centre had given way to the more subtle sounds of birds singing and his nostrils flared at the rich, earthy woodland smell that surrounded him. But he wanted to picture in his mind's eye how the different senses fitted together.
“Well…” Luke began slowly, taking a good look around as he could tell how important this was to Noah. “We're on a path that’s surrounded on either side by tall trees and the sunlight is dappling through the branches. The leaves are a rich, deep green and they’re moving in the soft breeze… almost like they are performing a slow majestic synchronized dance.” Luke's voice sounded wistful.
He looked up at the tall brunette to see if this was okay.
Noah tilted his head forward eagerly. “Go on!”
“The path is about to fork off to the left in a slow graceful arc back toward the centre. But we need to leave the path here and head off over the grass to the pond on our right.” Luke continued, grunting with exertion as he manoeuvred his chair off the path. “It's a little bumpy here… so be careful.”
He stopped when he realised Noah wasn't following him anymore. He turned his chair to face the other man. “Noah? What are you doing?” Luke asked in surprise when he saw Noah was kneeling down and taking his shoes off.
“I want to feel the grass under my feet,” Noah replied; his voice cracking. If he couldn't see it he wanted to make damn sure that he could feel it as much as possible. A realisation suddenly hit him and he raised his head in Luke's direction. “Luke… I… I'm sorry… I …I didn't mean…”
“It's OK… really. You didn't upset me. We have to be able to say what we want. I don’t know what you’re thinking unless you tell me. But…” Luke chuckled, “… don’t blame me if you tread in something icky!”
He grasped the chair’s hand rims and began to turn back in the other direction. As he turned, the front caster wheel caught in a rut, sending the chair toppling and spilling Luke to the grass.
“Shit!” he grimaced in pain, clutching his shoulder.
“Luke?!” Noah stumbled to his feet at the sound of the other man in pain.
“Where are you?” He began swinging his cane in front of him, feeling the panic bubbling up in his chest. Shit…damn his useless eyes!
The young man took a step forward when his cane hit the frame of the overturned wheelchair.
“Luke?” Noah called again as his hand felt along the metal, trying to find where the stricken man had fallen.
“Noah, stop!” Luke groaned in warning when he saw Noah was about to stumble forward over his left leg. “I'm right here.” He struggled with his hurt shoulder and unresponsive legs to try and reach out, managing to curl his fingers around Noah's ankle.
Noah sighed with relief when he felt the warmth of Luke's fingers on his skin. “Are you hurt?” he asked urgently, crouching down and reaching out to feel for Luke's body.
“It's my shoulder. Can you help me back into my chair?” he asked in pain as cradled his elbow, trying to keep his shoulder still.
With the help of the other man’s directions, Noah managed to set the wheelchair upright again.
As he gently lifted Luke in his arms, he couldn't help but chuckle. “What did you say about nothing going wrong?”
Feeling safe against Noah's warm chest, Luke breathed through the pain and had to agree. “Probably not one of my best ideas”…
…
When Luke didn't wheel into Noah's room at the usual time the next day, the brunette began to worry.
The later it got, the more Noah worried. In the end his concern for the other man outweighed his insecurity at finding his way around the centre on his own, and he set out in search of Luke's room.
He'd been to Luke's room before but never on his own and he tried to remember each corridor and each turn along the way.
The young man was actually feeling quite pleased with himself as he managed to find his way along with the use of his cane and his memory without getting lost or bumping into anything.
That was until Noah turned the corner and was engulfed in a group of people heading the other way, laughing and talking loudly.
The tall brunette froze on the spot as the noise surrounded him, feeling utterly and hopelessly confused.
Even when the noise faded away as the group passed on further down the hall, Noah didn’t move… fearing to take another step.
“Noah, are you OK?” A sure hand gripped his forearm and Noah sighed in relief when he recognized the voice as Emily’s, one of the nurses.
“I… I …” he stuttered. He stopped to take a deep steadying breath. “I'm trying to find Luke's room.”
“You're almost there. It's at the end of this corridor. Do you want some help?”
“Thank you,” he nodded slightly.... he knew he should probably try to carry on by himself and he hated asking for help but the episode had shaken him.
Noah grasped her elbow and let the woman guide him the rest of the way…
…
“Luke?” Noah opened the door slowly and called softly out into the room after getting no response to his knock.
“Noah!” Luke's voice sounded surprised but with an edge of grogginess to it like he'd just woken up.
Noah paused in the open doorway. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you… I'll come back later.”
“No… no!” Luke's reply came quickly. “Please stay. Keep me company.”
The tall brunette concentrated on stepping into the room and turning to close the door behind him before replying. “Are you OK? I was worried.”
He could hear the other man's frustrated sigh from the other side of the room. “I sprained my shoulder and I've got a nasty bruise on my hip from the fall. So I'm confined to this stupid fucking bed for the duration!” Noah heard what sounded like a clenched fist being thumped against the mattress.
Noah made his way over to Luke's bedside, reaching for the back of the armchair when he heard his cane strike the leg.
“I'm sorry,” he murmured as he eased himself down onto the seat and folded his cane.
“It's just so fucking frustrating!” Luke muttered darkly. “I had to spend enough time on bed rest when I had the accident in the first place and now I’m here again!” He had to bite down on the last word to stop his voice cracking and he could feel the tears welling up in his eyes. Damn! He hated it when he cried.
“I'm sorry, Luke” Noah found himself apologising again. “If it hadn't been for me distracting you, this wouldn't have happened.”
“Don't you dare apologise, Noah. This was not your fault. Do you hear me?” He paused, waiting until the other man nodded his head slowly. “I suppose I was going to fall out of the chair at some point. At least you there to help me.” He hated it when Noah was so hard on himself.
Noah wasn’t completely convinced and he was beginning to think he shouldn’t have come. “Perhaps I should just leave you to get some rest,” he murmured as he started to stand.
Something inside Luke broke as he watched the handsome brunette’s face crumple into dejection.
The young man reached up from where he was lying and grasped Noah’s hand. “Please don’t go, Noah.” Luke’s voice was barely above a whisper. “Don’t you know that I like being around you?”
Luke sighed. “I like you Noah… like you like that.” He took a deep steadying breath as he finally admitted what he’d felt building for a while now. “And if you don’t know that by now, then you’re blind in more ways than one.”
Noah didn’t move; letting Luke's words sink in. And it hit him, as he thought back over the short time he’d known Luke, that he had been so receptive to Luke when the other man had reached out to him, where others had failed, because he felt exactly the same. He liked Luke like that too.
“I… I wish I could see your face… just once.” Noah's words came out in an anguished gasp; feeling his emotions bubbling so close to the surface that he couldn't contain them.
Wordlessly, Luke turned Noah's hand over and brought it up to his own face so that the long fingers brushed against the skin above his eyebrow.
“Luke,” Noah breathed out huskily as he stumbled forward slightly, tracing his sensitive finger tips along Luke's eyebrow to the side of his face.
His fingers came into contact with the other man's soft silky hair and he brushed a loose strand back behind Luke's ear. “What… what colour is your hair?” he asked breathlessly, wondering why he'd never asked Luke to describe himself before.
“Blonde,” Luke murmured distractedly, intent on watching Noah's own facial features as the man's finger tips explored his face.
Noah's fingers continued their path down over Luke's cheek, tracing over the stubbled jaw; the sensation sending pin pricks of arousal radiating up his arm from his finger tips, before moving on to the prominent cleft chin.
He tentatively moved his fingers slowly upward to Luke's lips, the hot breath that ghosted across his skin making his own breath come in short ragged bursts.
“Smile for me,” Noah whispered, his fingers trembling as the supple lips moved obediently.
Luke covered the brunette’s hand with his again and, turning it once more, he pressed his lips to the open palm.
“Need to kiss you.” There was an edge of desperate urgency to Noah’s voice as he reached out with his other hand to feel for the edge of the mattress before sitting down as close to Luke as he could.
Luke released Noah's hand to stretch up and guide the brunette's head down closer; bringing their mouths together.
The kiss was tentative at first, barely more than a brush of lips. It built in a smouldering intensity as their confidence grew until eager and exploring tongues darted through parted and willing lips.
They pulled apart, breathless, when the need for oxygen became too great.
Noah moved his hand from where it had cupped the other man’s face during their kiss, stroking gently down the side of Luke’s neck and along his shoulder. Continuing along the arm, Noah smirked when he reached the blonde’s forearm and his finger tips felt the goose bumps that he knew his touch had caused.
Noah’s long fingers closed around Luke’s when they reached his hand; his thumb gently caressing the skin between thumb and forefinger.
They stayed like that for long minutes… just holding hands in silence. Both thankful that they had found each other… had found some comfort and solace from the stormy onslaught of coping with what life had thrown at them.
The End
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