Messed up
Why can't i let go of him? It was over 3 years ago when we stopped dating. I wonder if my insurance covers therapists. Probably not ...
Today he came up because he was talking, on facebook, to one of my best friends. Usually i wouldn't read what he writes, but for some reason I did, and as i was reading it i just starting feeling ... angry (but not really), sad, bitter, and i'm sure there were other feelings in there too. why am i so f-ed up.
People tell me i can't blame all of my problems on him, but I'm pretty sure he's a big part of why i'm fucked up mentally.
and on a not so depressing subject. If any one wants to order anything from Pampered Chef, my sis is doing a catalog party. I have to have orders and money by Dec. 10, so let me know. (It's that soon so that things will be in by Christmas)
I had an awards ceremony last Fri. for my horsies. My division was a little crazy. They usually only award through 6th place for high score awards, but they decided to do through 12th place because we were super competitive this year. Well I ended up with 12th which made my friend Erin happy because it's a pinky, fuschia ribbon and that's just about her favorite color. My average was %63.something and the Champion's (who happens to be my room mate) average was a %68.something. From 1st to 12th in less than 5 percentage points. That's crazy. I kinda wish they hadn't placed so far down. I don't like having to say I won 12th place and then justifying it that i was against 150 other really competitive riders ...
Was not happy. On the upside I also accepted two trophies for my teams from the Chapter Challenge because we rocked that competition and won it all.
Either way the dinner made me decide that i'm gonna work harder and get him out to more shows next year, and kick everyone's butt.
Also, had family pictures that night. Usually this would not be noteworthy, but the photographer was incredibly annoying. He even told me to stop looking so evil at one point. Perhaps if he wasn't so annoying i wouldn't look evilly at him when he's telling me to place my head at completely unnatural angles.
The rest of that weekend was pretty relaxed. I didn't do as much as I would have liked, but at least it was a good weekend.
Must to go now.
Today he came up because he was talking, on facebook, to one of my best friends. Usually i wouldn't read what he writes, but for some reason I did, and as i was reading it i just starting feeling ... angry (but not really), sad, bitter, and i'm sure there were other feelings in there too. why am i so f-ed up.
People tell me i can't blame all of my problems on him, but I'm pretty sure he's a big part of why i'm fucked up mentally.
and on a not so depressing subject. If any one wants to order anything from Pampered Chef, my sis is doing a catalog party. I have to have orders and money by Dec. 10, so let me know. (It's that soon so that things will be in by Christmas)
I had an awards ceremony last Fri. for my horsies. My division was a little crazy. They usually only award through 6th place for high score awards, but they decided to do through 12th place because we were super competitive this year. Well I ended up with 12th which made my friend Erin happy because it's a pinky, fuschia ribbon and that's just about her favorite color. My average was %63.something and the Champion's (who happens to be my room mate) average was a %68.something. From 1st to 12th in less than 5 percentage points. That's crazy. I kinda wish they hadn't placed so far down. I don't like having to say I won 12th place and then justifying it that i was against 150 other really competitive riders ...
Was not happy. On the upside I also accepted two trophies for my teams from the Chapter Challenge because we rocked that competition and won it all.
Either way the dinner made me decide that i'm gonna work harder and get him out to more shows next year, and kick everyone's butt.
Also, had family pictures that night. Usually this would not be noteworthy, but the photographer was incredibly annoying. He even told me to stop looking so evil at one point. Perhaps if he wasn't so annoying i wouldn't look evilly at him when he's telling me to place my head at completely unnatural angles.
The rest of that weekend was pretty relaxed. I didn't do as much as I would have liked, but at least it was a good weekend.
Must to go now.