(Untitled)

[whereupon]

It's been ages since I posted an actual story. And I'm not sure if this counts as such, but. It's a collection of words, anyway, and they're fiction-based, and they kind of came out of nowhere. And it turns out I miss writing, and would like to do it again soon.

Phosphor
by whereupon
Supernatural: preseries, gen, Sam&Dean, R, 5,900 words. It's not

Comments

[arliss]

I'm glad to see you writing.

I love the way this unfolds, and the language--like some reel of ribbon dropped to unspool as it rolls into strange and unpredictable shadows and into unexpected stark light. Amazing look at the inside of Sam's head, and the inside of his relationship with his family, and with himself and what life he might want.

[lavinialavender]

This is a beautiful and utterly apt description.

[catsintheattic]

What a painful and fitting characterisation of Sam at that age - it's so easy to picture him in a situation like that, all frustrated and already full of escape plans at the same time. The tangle of emotions towards Dean was pitch-perfect!

[lavinialavender]

Oh, this story. One of the most perfect preseries fics, I think, because it deals with all of Sam's hopes and dreams laid against the present and likely-future that will be his otherwise. What happens, both supernaturally and naturally, in a lifestyle like theirs, and how much he hates it.

You capture how much of an ordinary teenage boy Sam is, with his desires and clumsy mistakes. How he does indeed get sullen, and mournful, over how the night transpires, how sulkily relieved he is at Dean's arrival. Even for a Winchester (but especially for Sam), getting handcuffed and jailed is a traumatic experience that breaks him down to his most basic yearning for nostalgic comforts.

And there are the poetic details that appear in everything you write, which I will highlight in the doc I'm sending back to you with comments, but these two are my favorite:

The shorelines are full of ghosts, but the land in between is where the monsters roam. Somewhere out there in the black, down some road choked with scrub and brush, beneath that

[brosedshield]

Sorry for the delay! I wanted to read your story when I was in the headspace to really savor it, so I waited a bit after you posted it.

This is DEFINITELY a story, yo. Collection of words, plot, thoughts, SIGNIFICANCE, all the good things. And a lovely one. I feel so sorry for Sam, always, getting stuck with his screwed up life no matter how hard he tries, and especially running into problems when his concept of normal completely doesn't match normal people's. Like with the gun, they're not mysterious for him, not this special talisman that makes you a badass, they're a weapon and he both doesn't think about them and understands exactly how much damage they can do, and that DEPTH of understanding is what makes things fall apart in the convenience store. Ah, poor kid, and he's probably not going to get together with Vanessa after that. I wonder how soon the Winchestrs hit the road afterward.

I'm so happy that you're writing, and as always, this story was sweet and poignant and saddening. AH SAM. *hugs him, cautiously*

*hugs you too

[geckoholic]

This was really great, how you spun the story from deep within Sam's POV and how you got both his voice and his view of Dean JUST RIGHT.