(no subject)
Why I can't talk to men, part 1873.
Friend facebook posted about "Free the ta-tas on October 13 to support being against breast cancer" Setting aside for a moment the question of who is *for* breast cancer, let us address the issue of being braless.
Me: Yeah, not doing that.
OP (man friend): Well my boobs will be free on Oct 13th!
Me: You don't typically feel like murdering men who comment upon your nipples. I do. It's really in the interests of safety for all.
OP (he's gay): I really like it when men play with my nips! Just don't get rough! My right one don't have much feeling anymore since the surgery so they have to get much more rough with that one!
Me: I don't mind when invited, pre-screened, approved parties play with same. But if I run around without a bra, random men I do not know or like or feel sexually inclined towards make stupid comments about my nipples. Bras make boobs look "barbie"-like, featureless and safe (because then I don't have to kill men who thoughtlessly comment on my body). Yay bras.
OP: Oh yes, uninvited nip play is the worst!
(This is a dude derail. My complaint is that "random men I do not know or like or feel sexually inclined towards make stupid comments about my nipples" and I follow up with "men who thoughtlessly comment on my body")
Different man: with your help, we can defeat UNP (uninvited nipple play) in our life time.
Me: Apparently the commentary is "my fault" for going around braless and inciting commentary by virtue of being female with the audacity to display nipples under my (non-revealing) clothing. So, y'know, bras. It's just easier.
(Attempt to re-focus on the problematic commentary.)
Yet another man: Jessica(that's me).. be proud of your boobies...
Me: I am perfectly happy with my boobies. They're fine. I am not perfectly happy with random men feeling obligated to comment about my body like it's fucking public property while I'm going about my day. It is not cute or flattering to get "Hey, are you feeling a little chilly? Leave the 'headlights' on? Smugglin' raisins, there, darlin?" when I am going to the hardware store or showing an apartment or unclogging a toilet or replacing the nozzle on a furnace. I don't want the male gaze. I don't want the commentary. I don't want the immediate assumption that I am sexually available because I have visible nipple silhouettes under my clothing. I don't want to freaking have to devote my life to the thankless task of educating every single man on the planet about the inappropriateness of nipple-related commentary directed at women they don't freaking know. The easiest way to avoid having to deal with the stupid nipple issue is to wear minimally padded soft cup "t-shirt" bras that make my tits look like they belong to a nipple-free Barbie. So, that's what I do. But thank you for thinking I am ashamed of or unhappy with my boobs. 'Cause that's totally the reasonable guess, given what I've said prior.
*************************
It's like they're this stupid on purpose. Conversations with men would be so much more efficient if I had a pipe wrench in my hand.
Friend facebook posted about "Free the ta-tas on October 13 to support being against breast cancer" Setting aside for a moment the question of who is *for* breast cancer, let us address the issue of being braless.
Me: Yeah, not doing that.
OP (man friend): Well my boobs will be free on Oct 13th!
Me: You don't typically feel like murdering men who comment upon your nipples. I do. It's really in the interests of safety for all.
OP (he's gay): I really like it when men play with my nips! Just don't get rough! My right one don't have much feeling anymore since the surgery so they have to get much more rough with that one!
Me: I don't mind when invited, pre-screened, approved parties play with same. But if I run around without a bra, random men I do not know or like or feel sexually inclined towards make stupid comments about my nipples. Bras make boobs look "barbie"-like, featureless and safe (because then I don't have to kill men who thoughtlessly comment on my body). Yay bras.
OP: Oh yes, uninvited nip play is the worst!
(This is a dude derail. My complaint is that "random men I do not know or like or feel sexually inclined towards make stupid comments about my nipples" and I follow up with "men who thoughtlessly comment on my body")
Different man: with your help, we can defeat UNP (uninvited nipple play) in our life time.
Me: Apparently the commentary is "my fault" for going around braless and inciting commentary by virtue of being female with the audacity to display nipples under my (non-revealing) clothing. So, y'know, bras. It's just easier.
(Attempt to re-focus on the problematic commentary.)
Yet another man: Jessica(that's me).. be proud of your boobies...
Me: I am perfectly happy with my boobies. They're fine. I am not perfectly happy with random men feeling obligated to comment about my body like it's fucking public property while I'm going about my day. It is not cute or flattering to get "Hey, are you feeling a little chilly? Leave the 'headlights' on? Smugglin' raisins, there, darlin?" when I am going to the hardware store or showing an apartment or unclogging a toilet or replacing the nozzle on a furnace. I don't want the male gaze. I don't want the commentary. I don't want the immediate assumption that I am sexually available because I have visible nipple silhouettes under my clothing. I don't want to freaking have to devote my life to the thankless task of educating every single man on the planet about the inappropriateness of nipple-related commentary directed at women they don't freaking know. The easiest way to avoid having to deal with the stupid nipple issue is to wear minimally padded soft cup "t-shirt" bras that make my tits look like they belong to a nipple-free Barbie. So, that's what I do. But thank you for thinking I am ashamed of or unhappy with my boobs. 'Cause that's totally the reasonable guess, given what I've said prior.
*************************
It's like they're this stupid on purpose. Conversations with men would be so much more efficient if I had a pipe wrench in my hand.