Protocol
I recieved an e-mail this weekend, from someone who had been referred to me by kinkycatlady.
It was from a domme, and before going into any detail, she wanted to confirm that it was ok for me to speak to her.
I had heard of some dominants adopting the protocol of not allowing their submissives to speak to other dominants without first gaining permission.
Now my playing has been pretty light on protocol (or to be more precise, protocol of this kind.) There are no restrictions on who I can talk to, on who I can play with, or on what I can do. Outside of sessions I don't belong to anyone. It has never even occurred to me to adopt restrictions of this kind, and I don't feel as though the reality of my subbieness is compromised in the slightest by this.
It's really not for me to disparage what other people enjoy as part of their kink, so I won't. I want to be absolutely clear that I am not impugning anoyone else's kink. But to be honest, this appeal of this kind of protocol intensive play is baffling to me. It seems like an awful lot of work for everyone involved. To screen out people before I am able to befriend them or even speak to them seems like an over the top imposition on a domme.
To be restricted to speaking to people who have already been pre-cleared also strikes me as the kind of thing that would erode my dignity as an adult. I am a grown man and I am perfectly capable of handling myself. I suppose that these protocols might have an appeal in the way that they accentuate the power exchange between the individuals involved. It just seems to be an excessive and invasive way of doing so.
Does anyone see things differently?