[for Cartman]

[whiskytango_rto]

"Cartman," Ray calls into the hut as he enters, a slip of paper clutched in one hand and his other like, ready to slap over his eyes if Cartman is doing something traumatizing with women's clothing again.  He's been at the compound most of the morning, sorting out what's about to become The School Debacle, because annoying as it is, Nate has a

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[my_potpie]

The front room was empty, but toward the back of the hut, there was the rustle of paper, the sound of someone hastily shoving things under their bed, and then someone clearing their throat loudly.

When Eric poked his head around the door frame, his eyes were wide and cartoon-innocent. "What is it, Ray?" he asked in his best Perfect Little Angel voice.

[whiskytango_rto]

Ray's own eyes narrow with instant, learned suspicion. He's got it in his mind to bark at Cartman, ask him what the fuck he was just doing and why he's being so creepy and weird about it now, but why fight that battle when he's about to unleash some kind of tantrum apocalypse?

"I have to talk to you," he starts, after clearing his throat and deciding to let whatever Cartman shoved under his bed lie. He can dig through it and figure that out later--right now, the only piece of paper that matters is the one in his hand. "School starts soon, and I've signed you up for a few classes. Just a few, not like all the shit you had to do at home."

[my_potpie]

Cartman stared. Silent and slack-jawed, then finally, he threw his head back and laughed. And laughed. And laughed until his face was red, his arms wrapped around his jiggling belly.

"Oh my God, good one. That's hilarious, really. Now come on, what do you really want?"

[whiskytango_rto]

Cartman's response isn't completely unexpected--Ray fucks with people a lot, maybe Cartman especially because when he gets upset it's entertaining, and when he doesn't he seems to get a kick out of it, laughing himself sick on the floor. But maybe he needs to cut back and have more serious conversations with the kid, because the fucker is seriously going to school.

"Seriously, school starts in a few days, and we're going to start getting up early so you can get some breakfast first. You've got yoga a couple mornings a week, so we'll have to get you some clothes for that, too."

He pauses, the humid air in the hut feeling like the stillness before a fucking storm breaks, and being Ray, he figure he might as well push it. "I'm not kidding, Cartman. I'm really not fucking kidding."