(no subject)
Late night ramblings. I'm tired, already took my meds and they've kicked in, but I'm compelled to write. I was sitting here, playing Diablo II, nightmare level (yes, I kick ass, can't wait to get to hell) and realized I couldn't tell if my mouth was open or shut. I couldn't feel my if my lips were touching or not. Odd sensation. I moved them just to see and realized they were shut. This was prior to taking my meds so don't get cheeky. And this room tends to be cold but that wasn't it either.
It reminded me of this boredom thing I would do as a kid of opening my mouth to hear it pop softly then closing it slowly to feel my lips closing together from the corners to the center. It was one of those quirks I had that drove my mother nuts, like twirling my hair. That last one I still do and she threatens to cut my hair short to which I reply it would do no good, I can twirl even an inch long piece of hair. She leaves me alone about it but glares when I do it. My daughters have picked up the habit now. Cara, it seems, has picked up quite a few of my 'habits'. She's becoming OCD about several things. Cleanliness, school, sports, her hair, her bed being made a certain way, so many little things. She insists on cleaning her room alone without Stephanie's help even though they share the room. Because "Stephy won't do it right." Not only does she look just like me when I was her age, but she's truly my little clone anymore.
Miranda has been prodding me to start writing again. I'd written approximately six chapters before I lost the disk and during the move the printed copy was lost. I printed as I wrote just in case of such a problem. I even had a publisher in New York (they're all from NY, damn) set up and waiting for it. Why do I always feel like I'm being sabatoged by Steve? It was his responsibility to move everything and somehow things important to me were lost. The decorations for our Yule tree that were handmade by me and the children plus several ornaments handed down from family and some engraved ones with the kid's names and years; the printed copy; half my clothes. Several other things but anyway... I should have hand carried the box with everything from my desk myself. Yet again, dumbass attack struck me.
I'm writing again. Not the concept I had in mind the first time, eventually I might throw myself into a good fiction novel but for now I've decided to write something fun and conventional. The first chapter is nearly finished, the intro is done and I'm finding it difficult to stop writing once I start. This is the part of me that Miranda inherited. She's the writer. And artist. She draws constantly. I bought her several sketch pads and a huge pack of colored pencils. She's already filled the pads and needs more. Which is exciting for me. I was intereted in drawing at her age but never persued it. I was actually quite good. Mom saved my sketches, surprisingly. She showed them to me some time ago and we had a 'family moment', it was good :) I had no idea she held on to them. It was touching, really. It meant a lot to me that she did something so... parental. I have an entire drawer in my dresser full of my kids artwork and cards they've made for me and Steve. Cara even made Steve one thanking him for going to all of her softball games. I'm a sentimental softie.
Dre' passed his driving school with an A in class and B+ in the car. Yay for my insurance :P Now if he can apply that to HS... He's a B student and that's without doing homework. His teachers love him. He gets A's on all his tests which proves he knows the subject, but hates doing homework assignments. So they allow him to make up his homework in class. He's breezing by because he knows his teachers love me ^.^ they had me when I went there. His French teacher calls me on a regular basis to keep me updated. He's in advanced classes even and getting away with this. Ugh. Lazy little fart. This just makes it harder to deal with his 'know it all' attitude :P
I had viciously bad migraines the first two weeks after quitting work. I realized why: I drank coffee at work every morning. I don't drink coffee at home. I'm not typically a coffee drinker but got into the habit of drinking it at work thanks to Amber :P She got me hooked. It was caffeine withdrawal. The migraines dulled to an ache and finally went away. Now I drink a cappucine periodically, and make sure I don't get the double caffeine one, egads imagine the whopper of an exploding head I'd have ^.^
I'd been developing arthritis in my left hand, but it was pretty mild at first. Then began spreading rapidly from between the index and middle knuckle across the rest. It was so bad it kept making my middle finger twitch from irritating the nerve. My thumb already had it for several months thanks to color guard in HS, heh. Mucho injuries to that thumb. Now my right hand is doing the same thing. You can see the swelling in the joints. It gets so bad it's painful to do anything. I can't even open a jar, type, nada when it flares up. Even my hand brace doesn't help. So I started using icy/hot. It helped a little, but not much. So I see the grand Wizardess about it and she thinks it's Rheumatoid arthritis, because it's presenting so fast. I'm too damn young. 37 and RA? I don't think so. At least it isn't really bad. It comes and goes. I can go several days without a flare-up of pain, but the joints will still be swollen regardless. It's worse between the index and middle fingers. All poofed up like there's a pocket of fluid in there. Ick.
So when my friend in Florida called and we were upating on the latest, I bitched about the arthritis. She then told me about her recent visit to the doctor. She's in menopause. I told her she wins. LOL! Damn, that sucks. She's my age and going through early menopause. It's because of lack of sex :P She needs to move back up here and become my sex slave or something. No we're not lesbians, we just goof. We've been friends since her oldest was in diapers. I really need to move down there though. I miss her bad :( the kids miss her kids. Jenna left a message for Dre' to call when he got home from driving school. Pookie and Miranda would spend hours on the phone if we didn't keep an eye on them. These kids grew up together, they're family. I miss 'em all.
Oh, got a call from Mom today, she had a patient in the office that used to be one of my friends in elementary school. So far the count of finding old friends through that clinic is up to five. Insane.
Ok, about to pass out. Good night. I'm done rambling in this subject hopping entry.
It reminded me of this boredom thing I would do as a kid of opening my mouth to hear it pop softly then closing it slowly to feel my lips closing together from the corners to the center. It was one of those quirks I had that drove my mother nuts, like twirling my hair. That last one I still do and she threatens to cut my hair short to which I reply it would do no good, I can twirl even an inch long piece of hair. She leaves me alone about it but glares when I do it. My daughters have picked up the habit now. Cara, it seems, has picked up quite a few of my 'habits'. She's becoming OCD about several things. Cleanliness, school, sports, her hair, her bed being made a certain way, so many little things. She insists on cleaning her room alone without Stephanie's help even though they share the room. Because "Stephy won't do it right." Not only does she look just like me when I was her age, but she's truly my little clone anymore.
Miranda has been prodding me to start writing again. I'd written approximately six chapters before I lost the disk and during the move the printed copy was lost. I printed as I wrote just in case of such a problem. I even had a publisher in New York (they're all from NY, damn) set up and waiting for it. Why do I always feel like I'm being sabatoged by Steve? It was his responsibility to move everything and somehow things important to me were lost. The decorations for our Yule tree that were handmade by me and the children plus several ornaments handed down from family and some engraved ones with the kid's names and years; the printed copy; half my clothes. Several other things but anyway... I should have hand carried the box with everything from my desk myself. Yet again, dumbass attack struck me.
I'm writing again. Not the concept I had in mind the first time, eventually I might throw myself into a good fiction novel but for now I've decided to write something fun and conventional. The first chapter is nearly finished, the intro is done and I'm finding it difficult to stop writing once I start. This is the part of me that Miranda inherited. She's the writer. And artist. She draws constantly. I bought her several sketch pads and a huge pack of colored pencils. She's already filled the pads and needs more. Which is exciting for me. I was intereted in drawing at her age but never persued it. I was actually quite good. Mom saved my sketches, surprisingly. She showed them to me some time ago and we had a 'family moment', it was good :) I had no idea she held on to them. It was touching, really. It meant a lot to me that she did something so... parental. I have an entire drawer in my dresser full of my kids artwork and cards they've made for me and Steve. Cara even made Steve one thanking him for going to all of her softball games. I'm a sentimental softie.
Dre' passed his driving school with an A in class and B+ in the car. Yay for my insurance :P Now if he can apply that to HS... He's a B student and that's without doing homework. His teachers love him. He gets A's on all his tests which proves he knows the subject, but hates doing homework assignments. So they allow him to make up his homework in class. He's breezing by because he knows his teachers love me ^.^ they had me when I went there. His French teacher calls me on a regular basis to keep me updated. He's in advanced classes even and getting away with this. Ugh. Lazy little fart. This just makes it harder to deal with his 'know it all' attitude :P
I had viciously bad migraines the first two weeks after quitting work. I realized why: I drank coffee at work every morning. I don't drink coffee at home. I'm not typically a coffee drinker but got into the habit of drinking it at work thanks to Amber :P She got me hooked. It was caffeine withdrawal. The migraines dulled to an ache and finally went away. Now I drink a cappucine periodically, and make sure I don't get the double caffeine one, egads imagine the whopper of an exploding head I'd have ^.^
I'd been developing arthritis in my left hand, but it was pretty mild at first. Then began spreading rapidly from between the index and middle knuckle across the rest. It was so bad it kept making my middle finger twitch from irritating the nerve. My thumb already had it for several months thanks to color guard in HS, heh. Mucho injuries to that thumb. Now my right hand is doing the same thing. You can see the swelling in the joints. It gets so bad it's painful to do anything. I can't even open a jar, type, nada when it flares up. Even my hand brace doesn't help. So I started using icy/hot. It helped a little, but not much. So I see the grand Wizardess about it and she thinks it's Rheumatoid arthritis, because it's presenting so fast. I'm too damn young. 37 and RA? I don't think so. At least it isn't really bad. It comes and goes. I can go several days without a flare-up of pain, but the joints will still be swollen regardless. It's worse between the index and middle fingers. All poofed up like there's a pocket of fluid in there. Ick.
So when my friend in Florida called and we were upating on the latest, I bitched about the arthritis. She then told me about her recent visit to the doctor. She's in menopause. I told her she wins. LOL! Damn, that sucks. She's my age and going through early menopause. It's because of lack of sex :P She needs to move back up here and become my sex slave or something. No we're not lesbians, we just goof. We've been friends since her oldest was in diapers. I really need to move down there though. I miss her bad :( the kids miss her kids. Jenna left a message for Dre' to call when he got home from driving school. Pookie and Miranda would spend hours on the phone if we didn't keep an eye on them. These kids grew up together, they're family. I miss 'em all.
Oh, got a call from Mom today, she had a patient in the office that used to be one of my friends in elementary school. So far the count of finding old friends through that clinic is up to five. Insane.
Ok, about to pass out. Good night. I'm done rambling in this subject hopping entry.