well i heard a lovely rumor, that bette midler had a tumor. so gleefully i went to tell my friends. but they said it was a lie, that she wasn't going to die, "and by the way, have i got news for you" and they told me that the man, that i had always billed as "dad" hadn't met my "mum" when i was born. and they reckon that i am, but i hope to god i'm
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