Fic: Blind Trust 1/2
Title: Blind Trust 1/2
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Jack/Daniel
Beta: nightshadow_t2(who completely deserves internet cookies for putting up with me)
Disclaimer: Not mine; not for profit.
Notes: I wrote this for me. It was something I did because I get tried of smut fixes everything fics. Which can be nice to read sometimes, but, well, with my past I'd rather the slow fixing/promise it'll get better fics. It is set shortly after the first time Daniel de-ascends and before Jack is promoted to General.
Warning: Talk of past abuse that was never proven canon for Jack.
****
It was one thing to want to do something, it was another thing to not be able to do that something. Jack pushed himself up on an elbow and looked across the tent at Daniel sleeping curled in his sleeping bag. The want thing he had for Daniel was starting to bug him again and Jack knew that he’d end up yelling at Daniel if he didn’t figure out how to work through the crap in his own head. Sighing, Jack flopped back down and pulled the edge of the sleeping bag up to cover his face.
He’d known for a long while that Daniel was far more important than anyone. He also knew there was no way he could express his feelings without a flashback or a freak out or both. He’d tried with a guy once after the divorce and ended up paying for the medical bill. Jack scrubbed his hand through his hair and sighed. He needed an approach, a plan…
****
Daniel watched Jack from the corner of his eye. The fidgeting was worse today and Daniel had gotten very good over the years of telling Jack’s mood from his fidgeting. This wasn’t the bored fidgeting either, oh, no, this was the something-is-bugging-me-and-I’m-in-a-foul-mood fidgeting. Daniel blinked and tried to concentrate on the writing in front of him. He’d watched Jack carefully since regaining his memory, well, most of his memory. There were holes, but far less than there had been, he thought. It was probably the way the memories had piled themselves up, but he was seeing things differently than before. He’d thought Jack was holding back where as before he’d thought Jack distant because of something he must have done to anger Jack. Now he thought for sure it was something else. He wondered if it was a hole in his memory, but he didn’t have a lot of Jack is watching me sleep memories so he must be sleeping lighter, because he was catching Jack watching a lot lately.
Slipping down out his crouch to sit on his butt, Daniel turned the light to better see the writing he was supposed to be working on. He thought about how Jack didn’t seem to know what he wanted. It was possible, but Daniel thought Jack was more self-aware than that. He seen through the stupid act early on, and sometimes he’d let Jack get away with it, but not as often as Jack would like.
Jack moved more into his field of vision and Daniel tried not to stiffen, but he knew Jack was going to be yelling in a minute or two. He yelled more on the days he fidgeted so much.
“You ready for lunch, Daniel?”
Blinking, Daniel turned more towards Jack. “Oh, umm, okay. Sure, I guess, that’d be fine.” Daniel bit his tongue to shut up the babbling. Jack held out his hand and Daniel grabbed it to pull himself up. He stumbled as Jack pulled harder than he expected and with the grace of a wobbly kitten Daniel toppled them both into the nearby wall.
This, of course, was when Daniel realized the writing he’d been staring at was an off-shoot of Ancient. The wall light up under Jack’s hand and then there was a blinding flash of light.
****
Jack rubbed at his eyes, trying to get rid of the flash blindness. He felt around him, but came up empty on Daniel. Next he felt for his radio only to find it wasn’t working. Feeling carefully, Jack made sure it was on and tried again and still got nothing. “Son of a…” Finding a wall, Jack was a little leery of touching, but since he couldn’t see yet, well, it wasn’t really a choice. Working slowly along the wall it didn’t take him long to decide that he wasn’t in the same room as before and this just sucked. Still no Daniel and his eyes weren’t clearing. Jack slid down the wall to sit on his butt and took deep breaths to ward off the panic creeping up his throat.
“Daniel?”
****
Daniel came awake to a blank room. Groaning as he sat up, Daniel looked around for Jack and scrambled to his feet when he didn’t find him. Cussing under his breath as he realized he couldn’t feel the side of his left hand that had been in contact with the wall when the flash happened. Calling out for Jack just had his voice bouncing back at him.
“Well, crap.”
Daniel started a more thorough search of the walls. He needed out of this little room so he could find Jack and get out of here.
****
Jack sat and worked on his breathing for a while. No matter how much he blinked his eyes weren’t clearing up. He was blind, at least for now. Pushing up, Jack stood and ran a hand lightly over the wall he’d been leaning against. He needed to find Daniel. After one more deep breath, Jack started down the wall, gently sweeping a foot out to check for obstructions, half-hoping to hit Daniel. Several finger injuries later Jack came to a stretch of wall that didn’t feel the same, it vibrated in waves under his hand. Jack stopped and turned towards the wall. Blinking his useless eyes, Jack slapped the wall with an open hand, but that didn’t make waves, unless they were delayed. Jack held still for several long moments, but the waves stopped and started at odd intervals. Just as Jack started to think they were random he felt a pattern in them. Jack cocked his head and the pattern changed, sped up for a few moments, and then settled back down.
“I can’t hear you.” Jack felt the silence of the wall for several seconds before there was one vibration wave. Nodding, Jack shifted on his feet. “Can you hear me?” Lots of vibrations answered that and Jack grinned. “I can’t see.” One vibration came and then stillness. Jack rested his forehead against the wall. “This sucks, Daniel.”
****
Frustrated his radio wouldn’t work; Daniel paced his small room and tried to think what to do next. Jack would be frantic and if neither of them contacted the others there’d be a search eventually. He didn’t know if he could wait for that though, because he didn’t know what the room he was stuck in was used for or what condition Jack was in. He turned to start another circuit and stopped suddenly. The wall across from him had changed and become more transparent. A fuzzy, distorted Jack was on the other side of the wall. He was moving slowly, as though he was hurt, but Daniel couldn’t get a good enough view of him to tell for sure.
“Jack!”
Jack started and turned more towards the wall. Daniel hurried across to stand close. He watched Jack slap the wall. Daniel blinked in surprise. That was weird, could the ability to see be one sided?
“Jack, can you see me? I can see you, well, sort of, but I can’t get out of this room. There aren’t any doors.” Daniel stopped when Jack didn’t move, didn’t answer. Jack cocked his head. “Jack, you can’t hear me or see me, can you?”
“I can’t hear you.”
Daniel jerked back a little. Jack’s voice sounded as though it was coming through a speaker, but at least he could hear him. “Shit.”
“Can you hear me?”
“Yes, Jack, I can hear you. I know you can’t hear me, but I’m okay. You don’t seem to be able to see me, but I’m fine, really. Okay, so I can’t feel one side of my left hand, but other than that, I’m fine.”
Jack grinned. “I can’t see.”
Daniel wanted on Jack’s side of the wall, now. “No.” He watched Jack lean forward and rest his forehead against the wall. Since Jack couldn’t see it, Daniel framed Jack’s face with his hands.
“This sucks, Daniel.”
He couldn’t have agreed more. “Radio doesn’t work. I think the light fried it.” Daniel blinked. What if the light had blinded Jack forever? Daniel pulled away from the wall, adjusted his glasses and tried to see through the distortions to see Jack’s eyes. He knew it was useless, but he squinted for a while anyway, until Jack moved suddenly.
“Jack?” Suddenly the wall under his hand started to move. Daniel waited for the new opening to get just big enough and he slipped through to Jack’s side. Grabbing a handful of Jack’s vest Daniel blocked Jack’s panicked reaction with his numb hand. “Jack, Jack, it’s just me. Calm down.”
Jack jerked back and stilled. His breathing was labored and Daniel didn’t let go as Jack leaned away from him slowly.
“Daniel?”
Frowning, Daniel titled his head trying to get a better look at Jack’s half-closed eyes. “Yes, Jack.”
“Okay.” Jack turned his head towards the wall that was slowly sliding back into place. “This place feels weird in my head.”
Daniel could feel his eyebrows climbing. Jack didn’t admit to things like that, ever, at least not unless something was very wrong with him. “You okay?”
The slight shaking that started up at that wasn’t reassuring at all.
“Don’t…trust me right now. Okay?” Jack frowned. “I’m…the floor is sand. Did you notice that?”
Daniel glanced down and the floor was covered in a smear of sand. He opened his mouth to ask why trust would be a problem and then it dawned on him someone, he couldn’t place who, had told him Jack had been a prisoner in Iraq. Blowing out a quiet breath, Daniel shifted his grip on Jack to his arm. “Yeah, I see that. Jack, what would help you right now?”
Jack snorted.
“I’m serious. If I can help…”
“No. I wasn’t…You can help by not speaking anything but English, and maybe…Don’t…touch too much. You know…warn me first or something."
Worrying more now, because it was really serious when Jack didn’t joke or blow his concern off, Daniel edged them away from the wall. “Okay, I can do that. Anything useful back the way you came?”
Jack looked relieved and Daniel congratulated himself on not having pushed for more. “Nothing. Is your radio working? You okay?”
“No radio. I’m okay except that my left hand is numb on one side. My eyes are okay.”
“No numbness, just my eyes. Let’s keep moving the direction I was headed.”
Daniel moved with Jack, gently pushing him more towards the middle of the hallway. The lights were soft and they seemed to brighten as Daniel led Jack closer. He glanced behind them and, yes, the lights were dimming behind them. “Jack, please tell me this place sounds like other Ancient stuff we’ve dealt with.”
Jack snorted again, and Daniel wanted very badly to shake him.
“No, its sort of…It’s pushier.”
“That’s not good.”
“You think?”
“How pushy are we talking?”
Jack stopped and shrugged out of Daniel’s hold. “It’s…don’t ask questions, okay? Please. I know I don’t…” Jack dropped his head forward for a moment before straightening back up. “I’m fighting with the feeling that I’m trapped in the past and when I wanted the wall gone I started feeling…stuff.”
“Jack, you need to define ‘stuff.’ I need to know or I wouldn’t pry.”
Nodding, Jack rubbed his face. “I know it isn’t real…that the injuries are long gone, but the feel is there. Faint, though.”
Daniel was glad Jack couldn’t see his face right then. “Okay. We need to keep moving.” He waited until Jack offered an arm before starting on down the hallway. Trying to rein in the questions piling up in his head, Daniel started to tell Jack what he was seeing. “There isn’t really a lot of sand. Everything is smooth and the lights like us, they dim once we’ve gone by. I wonder if I should be calling you by your rank.”
Jack jerked slightly and shook his head. “Hell no, you’re doing fine. And don’t think I won’t give you crap about how you can ask questions without the question part later.” They moved further down the hall until Jack abruptly stopped. “No.”
Daniel scanned the area around them. “Everything looks the same.”
“I can’t, Daniel.” Jack pulled away and ended up with his back against the wall. Daniel stepped closer in case the wall parted, but it didn’t and Jack slid down to the floor. “I feel…” Jack’s head snapped back and he convulsed.
Daniel grabbed for him and pulled him away from the wall. Quickly he rearranged them so that Jack was wrapped in him and no skin was touching sand. “You’re okay, Jack. Come on, stay calm.” Daniel could hear the tremble in his voice, but Jack relaxed suddenly so Daniel didn’t have to think about that. “Jack, if you can hear me start talking to me. Tell me the rest of the sentence you were saying a moment ago.”
Jack blinked several times and tensed. “Who are you?”
Shit. Daniel let Jack’s hands roam over his thighs and worried about how much damage Jack could do if he couldn’t convince him they were friends. “I’m Daniel Jackson. We work together.”
“No we don’t. I know my team.” Jack’s hand when down his leg and Daniel bent his knee so Jack could feel his boot. “I’ve gear on too.”
Daniel thought fast, trying to find the best way to convince Jack to keep moving without explaining the whole mess. Then he remembered that this Jack wouldn’t know what to make of the Ancient tech talking at him. “Yes, we are on a mission. You and I were accidentally trapped in an underground complex and we were working our way out. You went down and woke up with memory loss.”
Jack absently fingered the seam on Daniel’s inner thigh. It made Daniel wonder if Jack was testing him somehow.
“My eyes?”
“There was a bright flash. You’ll be fine.”
Jack nodded, and then cocked his head. “They got you too? We’re escaping, right?”
Daniel stared at the back of Jack’s head. He hadn’t listened or…Daniel drew a deep breath…or the Ancient thing was still messing with Jack’s brain. “Yeah, we’re escaping. No need to be quiet because there is no one left to hear.”
Jack nodded and struggled upright. Daniel steadied him as he listed left. As Jack started moving forward Daniel stirred him away from the walls. At least they were headed the same way and he didn’t have to try to turn them around.
“They fry you?”
Daniel pressed his lips together. There was no way this was going to go well. “No, I haven’t been caught long.”
“Fucking hurts. Don’t let it fuck you up if they raped you.”
He couldn’t breathe. He forced his hand to stay the same on Jack’s arm, not to grip painfully. “They do that a lot.” He made it a statement because he had no idea what a question would do to this version of Jack. He hadn’t heard Jack say ‘fuck’ so much, ever. Jack nodded and swept his foot out ahead of them. Daniel had watched him do that several times before he realized he was checking the path.
“You aren’t a pilot.”
“No. Linguist.” Daniel jerked his head up as he realized something he couldn’t remember ever occurring to him. Pilot. Jack would have been treated horribly just because he was a pilot, because that was one of the most hated things to be to the Iraqis’ mind at that time.
“Better to be that. Pilots are toys.”
The tone made Daniel want to throw up. He edged Jack away from the wall as they went into a curve in the hall. “People aren’t toys.”
“No, shouldn’t be a toy. Hurts. Beatings are easier. You know when they’ll end by the feel.” Jack shrugged and swept his foot out in front again. “Less shameful to be beaten.”
Daniel stopped and pulled Jack into a hug. “Sorry. I’m sorry. You don’t need to be ashamed. Don’t be, please.”
Jack sagged in his arms and Daniel shifted his grip trying to keep them upright. The lights started pulsing and Daniel quickly laid Jack down, shifting Jack’s arm to cover his eyes as the lights got brighter. Then they faded back to the dimness that Daniel had been seeing in the lights behind them. Gently, Daniel moved Jack’s arm and checked his pulse.
****
Jack blinked. This was weird. He’d just been talking to Daniel, hadn’t he? Looking around, Jack didn’t like that room was empty. Looking down at himself, Jack could see he was in that white crap Daniel showed up in when he was dead.
A young woman appeared out of nothing. “Hello.”
“Hi. What’s going on?”
“I’m afraid you do not match the requirements for the functioning of this location. You should leave before you are damaged.”
“I was blind a minute ago, that kind of damage?”
“You are still unable to see. Regretfully the damage to you cannot be helped. It will heal.”
Jack bounced on his toes. “We’re in my head, aren’t we? I hate that.”
“Apologies. I have changed the lights to guide you out before you are destroyed. Please upgrade before returning. Thank you.”
Jack started to retort, but the young woman disappeared. Great, he hated not getting in the last word.
****
Daniel felt it as Jack jerked in his arms. “Jack, come on, talk to me.”
“Lights.”
Daniel glanced up at the lights and they were changing. In his arms Jack convulsed again, and Daniel pulled Jack up and hefted him over his shoulder. With what felt like a block of C-4 digging into his back, Daniel started to follow the lights.
Several turns later he started passing intersections and rooms with actual doors. Daniel ignored them and followed the lights until around a corner he could see daylight. Coming out of the hallway into the open Daniel could tell where they were. In the distance he could see the Stargate. They were very far up the side of the valley.
Daniel carried Jack further down the hillside and tried his radio. It didn’t make a sound. Sighing, Daniel started looking for a good place to sit Jack down. Suddenly a boot hit him in the side and an eerily silent Jack started fighting him.
“Jack! Jack, calm down. I’ll sit you down, just, ow, stop kicking me. Just a second.”
Daniel pitched them sideways and rolled through the landing and let Jack go except for a hand on Jack’s vest. He sat and watched Jack blink. Sighing, Daniel felt along his ribs and decided that Jack hadn’t done much damage.
“Who are you?”
“I’m Daniel. We’re safe for right now. You got hit by a flash of light and I’m pretty sure your sight will come back soon.”
Jack scrubbed a hand across his face. “Okay. You a soldier?”
“Linguist. I work for the military a lot.”
Jack nodded and felt around on himself. “They took my gear. This stuff doesn’t feel right. No, wait, I know this, but not this…” Jack fingered the end of his knife and then moved on to the block of C4.
Daniel tried to remember if C4 would have been something Jack could have had on missions when he was captured. “I just grabbed what I could.”
“You see anyone else?”
Winching, Daniel slid his feet towards himself. “Jack, I think we should keep moving.”
Jack back away until he hit a tree. “Don’t play me. I won’t, not again. If you were really escaping you’d have seen the cells next to mine.”
Swallowing bile, Daniel let go of Jack as he backed away. “I found you in a hallway. No cells. Jack, I think you mostly got yourself out.”
Jack shook his head. “Not after last time.” Scrubbing his hand across his face again, Jack blinked. “Fuck.”
Frowning, Daniel eased back towards Jack. “How about we just rest for a while, okay?”
“No, gotta keep moving.” Jack frowned and felt down his body with his hands. “Weird.”
“What’s wrong Jack?”
“Nothing, I’m good.” Jack struggled upright and shook off Daniel’s attempt to help. “Don’t touch me.”
Jerking his hand back, Daniel blocked Jack from walking into a tree. “Okay, sorry. Look, I’m your friend. I know you don’t remember that right now, but we’re friends.”
Jack stopped and stood still just breathing. He blinked and rubbed his hand over his hair. “Friends?”
“Yes, Jack.” Hoping that wasn’t a bad thing to be with wherever Jack was in his past, Daniel gently touched the back of Jack’s hand. “Friends, I swear.”
Jack nodded. “Right. Yeah, sure.”
“No, you say yeah, sure, you bet ya all run together like its one word. Drives me crazy.”
“You’re all proper sentences and shit like that?”
“Sometimes, I am. Jack, how about we sit and eat something, okay?”
Jack dropped back to the ground faster than Daniel really wanted. “Sure. I could eat.”
Daniel dropped his pack and apologized when the noise startled Jack. Digging through it he came up with a single MRE. Disgusted with himself for not packing more, Daniel poured in the tiny amount of water that would start the reaction to heat the MRE into the heating pouch. “Okay, Jack. I’ve got it heating. You like the pasta ones, but this is the version with peanut butter for the vegetable crackers, so I’ll eat that part.”
Jack turned his head slowly towards Daniel. “What the hell are you talking about? And what’s that hissing noise?”
“Oh, ah, okay, you don’t remember what an MRE is? The hissing is the MRE heating. It just takes a little water and it heats the pouch and then you open it up to eat.”
“I know my ass hurts. What the hell kind of rations do civilians get anyway?”
Daniel blinked. “You hurt? I thought you were okay, well, not your eyes, but they’ll be okay, I mean, you don’t feel okay otherwise?”
Cocking his head, Jack narrowed his eyes. “How long were you caught for?”
“Not long. Little room, you came along, and then a long hallway.”
Jack nodded and spoke softly enough Daniel had to strain to hear; “Must of decided to try to escape again.” Jack swept his hand down one leg. “I keep thinking I’ve got a break in the leg, but I touch it and I don’t find it, but I feel it.”
“Oh. You, ah, hit your head, but you don’t have any broken bones that I could tell.”
“Yeah, it’s weird. I remember the break, but it feels like it happened a long time ago, but not all at the same time.”
“It did happen a long time ago, Jack. I promise. You are safe now.”
Jack barked a laugh and hugged his knees up to his chest. “No, I’m not safe. I want to kill and…” Jack rolled forward until he was kneeling. Daniel winched as one of Jack’s knees made a cracking sound. “You’re my friend?”
“Yes, Jack.”
Jack nodded. “Good. Kill me.”
Daniel scrabbled back and stopped when he hit a tree. “Jack…”
“No, hear me out. I’m broken. I…was…it was horrible. I can’t be recaptured. Just kill me.”
Tears sliding down his face, Daniel bit his lip as he moved back towards Jack. “What about your family?”
The harsh sound Jack made couldn’t really be called a laugh. “They’ll be better off.”
“No.” Daniel blew air at Jack’s face. He’d read something about it, but he couldn’t remember what, it might help though. “Jack, the worst is over now. You’ll get home and it’ll be okay.”
“Right and when I can’t…do anything normal, then what?”
Daniel didn’t need to wonder what Jack meant. “You’ll be okay. So maybe you’ll have to leave the light on for a while, I’m sure it won’t be a problem.”
Jack toppled over backwards to sit on his butt. “You think?”
“Yeah, you’ll be fine. I know you will.”
Jack slumped over to one side. “Okay. I’m holding you to your word.” Sliding further down, Jack closed his eyes. “Night, Daniel.”
Daniel sighed as Jack’s breathing evened out. Sorting through the parts of the MRE, Daniel saved the fruit pouch and candy for Jack. Slowly eating, Daniel tried to decide if leaving Jack was more dangerous than just waiting for help to find them.
****
Jack felt a hand snake across his neck. Timing it carefully, Jack slammed his hand into the side of the hand owner’s head. Ignoring the surprised shout, Jack followed up with another attempted hit, but the man had backed up instead of coming in to beat him. Jack opened his eyes and stopped cold. He hadn’t been blind, what the… Breathing heavily, Jack started listening to the quick rush of words off to his left.
“…hit like Te’lac when you want to. I think you broke my glasses, Jack. You okay? I was trying to check your pulse. You remember me yet? This is getting old fast, Jack.”
Blinking his useless eyes, Jack tried to remember where he’d heard that voice before. He felt like he knew it. His body was trying to relax. He felt his leg where it should be broken and came up with a whole leg. Ached, but it wasn’t broken. That was weird.
“No, you don’t, great. You aren’t hurt. I know it might feel like it, but you are fine, Jack, really. I’m Daniel.”
“Daniel.” There was a rustle and Jack shifted away from the noise. The noise stopped and there was a quiet sigh.
“Yes, my name is Daniel. Here, Jack, fruit to eat. I’ll show you the notch in the pouch when you’re ready.”
Jack could hear the flopping sound of plastic and reached out gingerly. When his hand wasn’t struck, Jack snatched the pouch and turned it all around feeling for holes or openings. He wasn’t getting drugged again if he could help it. Finding the notch, Jack tore open the pouch and sniffed the contents. Smelled like peaches.
“Okay, you found it yourself. Want the spoon?”
Jack ignored Daniel and tipped the pouch up to drink the juice.
“Guess not. Are you still feeling hurt, Jack?”
Licking his fingers clean from scooping up the peaches, Jack nodded slightly and then he waited. He listened to Daniel stand up and move away, up the hillside which, weirdly, was covered in grass underneath him. “Where are you going?”
“I need to get us back to base. Get you looked at. You don’t ever…”
“Hey! Don’t…”
****
Daniel froze. He knew what Jack had stopped himself from saying. Don’t leave. He had vague memories of Jack pleading with him about not leaving that he'd not been able to place yet. He hated not having his whole memory. “Oh, no, no, I’m just trying to get a better line of sight. Our teammates should be coming this way and I don’t want to miss a chance to let them know where we are.” Daniel watched Jack’s face twist into a grimace and then he rubbed his eyes with his hand. “With you blind, I’d rather not move you too much.”
Jack nodded. “Fine.” He swept his hands across the grass. “What are we doing until then?”
Daniel frowned and dropped to sit on his pack. Double checking that Jack was out of arm’s reach, Daniel fidgeted with the strap on his pack for several moments. “We could talk, but you hate that.”
“Really? Why do I hate it?” Jack cocked his head. “Other than being beaten for every word?”
Winching, Daniel leaned back. “You don’t talk about personal things very much. You like to tease." Licking his lip, Daniel tried to decide how to explain enough to get Jack to trust him without mentioning things like aliens. "You're always trying to ruffle my hair."
"Uh." Jack fingered his pants, absently working his fingers across the seams and the cargo pockets. "We know each other though? Teammates?"
"Yes, Jack." Standing, Daniel looked across the valley towards the Gate, then down at Jack. "We need to see across the valley. If we can met up with Sam and T'ealc we can get you back to base faster." Rubbing at his still numb hand, Daniel started when Jack flopped backwards and rubbed the grass with his outstretched hands.
"I'm fucked up. I'm hallucinating again." Jack pulled a blade of grass and rolled it between his fingers. "You see grass?"
"You aren't hallucinating the grass."
"Huh." Jack rubbed his leg and Daniel felt like burying his face in his hands. As Jack shoved himself upright, Daniel rolled sideways towards his pack. "I think I must be drugged again. I can't feel my broken ribs or leg. My head isn't gushing blood. You can't be real." He turned and started working his way back towards the entrance they'd come out. Daniel hurriedly grabbed the pack and threw it in front of Jack's foot as it came down. Jack fell in a tumble and Daniel pinned him stomach down, one hand trapped and the other arm flailing.
"You can't go back, Jack!" Daniel dodged the flailing and kept his weight centered on the middle of Jack's back. Keeping Jack's trapped foot under his butt, Daniel panted as Jack screamed. Focused on keeping Jack down and unable to kill him, Daniel ignored the screaming for several minutes until Jack suddenly went limp. "Sorry, Jack. You can't go back there." Jack panted, laying still and seemly relaxed. Daniel wasn't buying it. "Jack, you need to stay with me."
"Get off me."
Daniel tried not to shiver. He hated it when Jack used that tone of voice. "I can't right now. You have to calm down first."
"Get the fuck off me." Jack jerked on his leg and Daniel pressed down on him to keep control. "Shit! Get off, you bastard."
"I'm not going to hurt you, Jack." Daniel shifted so he could get a hand free. He carded his fingers through Jack's hair making it stand on end. Jack had lost his cap somewhere along the way. Daniel wondered if maybe having it would help focus Jack enough to keep him grounded. "You're safe with me."
Jack froze as Daniel's fingers slid through his hair. "Safe?"
Daniel rubbed circles at the base of Jack's neck with his thumb. "I promise you."
Jack turned his head and blew out a breath into the grass beneath them. "Let me up."
Daniel eased off and stepped back and sideways fast as Jack rolled upright and stood there with his chest heaving. Grabbing up the pack, Daniel watched Jack carefully. After Jack's breathing slowed, Daniel approached, making noise in the grass as he moved.
"You're like an elephant."
"I don't want to sneak up on you."
Jack snorted. "Yeah, okay." He turned towards Daniel and rubbed at the side of his head. Daniel forced himself not to ask about pain. As Jack stumbled forward, Daniel slipped under his arm and moved into supporting Jack's weight in a practiced move. Jack stopped and blinked in Daniel's direction. "We're teammates?"
"Yeah. You taught me how to fight."
Jack nodded. "No wonder you can kick my ass." He took a step forward and stopped. "We headed the right way?"
"Yeah, we're good."
They stumbled down the hill and Daniel figured it was better than fighting Jack about going back into the Ancient base.
****
Jack waited for his moment. The kid sounded nice, but he was leading them east, which wasn't good unless they'd moved him across Iraq while he was out of it. The grass had to be from drugs. His head hurt like the bone was still cracked and he was fuzzy like he'd been drugged. The kid was weird though. Any time he'd been held down in the past, Jack had been treated a lot differently. The easy way the kid was all nice to him was suspect. He purposely went left as the kid leaned right and they went down in a tangle of limbs. Jack let himself be picked up and kept silent as Daniel started them going downhill again. That had been too easy. He wondered if maybe they were being watched. With his eyes screwed up he couldn't be for sure, but it felt like it. The burning in the back of his brain made him think so.
They stopped and Jack sat where he was put. He started feeling his pockets and cataloging what he had. It was all weird. Glasses, which he knew he didn't wear. Several pens, ammo clips, three notebooks, a pill box...Jack yelped as Daniel grabbed the pillbox from him.
"Oh, thank you, Jack. I lost my allergy pills when we...aah, got lost." There was a rustle and a snap noise.
"You have allergies?"
"Still don't remember anything, huh?" There was the noise of the kid drinking and then something nudged his hand. "Here, drink."
Taking the canteen, Jack felt around the mouth. After sniffing carefully, Jack took a tiny sip. Then he jumped as Daniel spoke.
"It isn't drugged. Just drink it."
Huffing, Jack took another small sip and tried to hand it back.
"No, keep it for a while. Once you decide you aren't drugged, drink some more."
They moved on and Jack tried not to let the feeling of breaks where he didn't actually have interfere with following what Daniel was doing.
****
Worrying more as Jack became more quiet, Daniel tried to pick the smoothest route down the slope. It was becoming dusk and he'd have to stop them for the night. He didn't know how he was going to make sure Jack stayed put and get any rest. He could try staying up, but that wasn't going to be easy when he didn't have something to study. "It is getting dark. Let's stop for the night, Jack."
Jack silently sat down, feeling around him with his hands. Daniel dropped the pack out of Jack's reach and turned to check the distance they still needed to go. The sudden attack wasn't completely unexpected. Daniel fought Jack as they slid down the hill in a tangle. Jack landed several punches to his head, and Daniel resorted to twisting Jack's ear. With a yelp, Jack pulled back and tried to box his ears in return. As they rolled over, Daniel slammed Jack's hand into the dirt and got a knee in the ribs in return.
"Damn it, Jack. Stop fighting me." As Jack wrapped his hand around Daniel's throat all he could think was it had taken longer for Jack to choke him than he'd expected. He couldn't breathe and he didn't want to break Jack's thumb, which was the only way Jack had taught him to get out of this sort of hold. His vision graying around the edges, Daniel went completely limp. He did it slowly so that Jack would hopefully think he'd really passed out.
Jack checked his pulse and started going through his pockets. Daniel lay still as Jack moved away, sweeping the ground for the pack. Lolling his head to the side, Daniel looked across the valley. He could just see a spot that looked like their teammates. He couldn't tell for sure without his glasses. Grateful he hadn't put in his contacts that morning because he'd have lost them by now, Daniel turned his head back and watched Jack frown as he felt his way through the contents of the pack.
"Weird." Jack sat the book he was holding down carefully. He rubbed his open hand across the grass next to himself and snorted. "Fucking drugs."
Daniel wanted to bang his head on the ground. Stubborn man. He watched as Jack found and devoured a power bar.
Then Jack came back over and nudged him with a foot. Staying limp, Daniel watched as Jack grimaced. "Damn kid." Moving away, Jack went back to rummaging through the pack. Daniel could see the 550 cord he'd sat aside sitting between two of his books. If he could get the cord and tie Jack's hands and feet they'd be in one spot for the others to find. Daniel debated with himself about trying and if it'd be worse overall for Jack if he managed it. As Jack started repacking, Daniel decided he didn't have a choice. Jack turned away to feel for a book and Daniel rolled, grabbing up the cord.
Jack whipped around and lunged for him, but Daniel was up and he grabbed Jack's outstretched hands. Pinning Jack's hands under one arm, he wrapped Jack's wrists with the cord. Ignoring the hits to his legs and back, Daniel got the cord knotted. He reached up and twisted Jack's ear. With a yelp, Jack tried to jerk away. Daniel got the cord wrapped around Jack's torso and knotted where Jack couldn't reach it. Jack's breathing went harsh and he started shaking. Daniel pushed on his shoulder and Jack went down onto his butt.
"You okay, Jack?" Daniel rubbed his throat, his voice sounded horrible.
Jack blinked and breathed, but he wasn't interacting. Daniel tied his boots together using the laces. He removed everything from Jack's vest and made sure he had all the hideaway knives. He put everything into the pack. He walked around the area several times. Stopping here and there. He finally sat the pack down on the other side of a tree. He walked around some more before returning to Jack who jerked and darted to the side.
"It'll be okay, Jack. We'll wait here for our team." Daniel sat down several feet outside of Jack's reach. "Sorry about tying you up."
Jack blinked and tugged on his bindings. "You're the weirdest person I've ever met."
"I'll take that as a complement." Daniel felt along his ribs trying to decide if the pain that had blossomed in his left side was from Jack or something else. "I think you broke my rib."
"Good."
Daniel jerked his head up and glared at Jack. "You are going to feel bad later, Jack. And I'm going to milk your guilt for all it's worth."
****
Jack tugged on his wrists. The kid had managed to get them tight enough he couldn't just slip them, but not too tight. He already felt guilty for hurting Daniel, but he couldn't figure out why. His headache wasn't getting any better from it either. Laying down, Jack tried to figure out if he could kick off his boots. He didn't want to run around on sand in bare feet, but if it got him free he could do it. He flinched as what felt like grass jabbed him in the cheek. He just wanted to go home.
He yanked on his wrists. He could feel a little give. Struggling, Jack ignored the hoarse yell from Daniel. He just had to get free. There was a jab in his leg and Jack hissed.
"Sorry, Jack. It'll be okay. I promise."
He could feel cold creeping through him from the injection site. "Morphine."
"Just a little, Jack." Daniel rubbed his forearms and around his wrists.
"NO! No, no, no. I don't want it." Jack whimpered as his body relaxed from the drug. "Don't take me back there."
"You're okay, Jack. We're not going anywhere."
Tears were rolling down his cheeks, but Jack didn't care. He just wanted to be safe again. "Please. I'll do whatever you want. Please don't drug me again. Please..." He was shifted and pulled more upright.
"We're best friends, Jack. You've saved my life. I've saved yours." Daniel's voice was hoarse and he stopped to cough occasionally. "We sit in your living room and you watch your hockey game while I read." Jack was settled against Daniel's chest and he could feel Daniel's heartbeat. "You are always tightening straps for me. Keeping track of my glasses. Helping me remember to eat when I'm caught up in a translation."
"Friends."
"Yes, Jack. I swear."
Daniel carded a hand through his hair again. Jack closed his useless eyes and relaxed the rest of the way. He was getting sleepy. He really hated that, but he couldn't muster the anger right now. He sighed.
"I'll get you home, Jack."
He thought he felt Daniel kiss his temple, but Jack couldn't be sure as he slipped into oblivion.
****
Daniel sighed in relief as Jack started to snore just a little. Happy the pen injector had been mistaken for a pen by Jack, Daniel shifted them so Jack didn't rest on his ribs. He dozed off and on. He came completely awake as dawn came. Jack was still snoring and limp. Daniel checked his hands and rolled him on his side. Stretching, Daniel froze as he heard a noise. Looking to where he'd stashed the pack, Daniel fleetly wished keeping a knife on himself could have been less dangerous. Standing, Daniel placed himself between the noise and Jack.
Out of the long grass trundled a robot. It was squat and squarish. Daniel stared at it as it stopped because they were in it's path. It backed up and moved forward several times before turning to the right and started to slowly move around them. Daniel waved his hand in front of it and it stopped until he removed his hand. Daniel watched it disappear up the hill. Turning around as he heard another noise, Daniel watched another robot appear from the tall grass. This one looked just like the first, but it had the rest of their gear on it.
Daniel edged up beside it and picked up Jack's pack. The robot stopped. Daniel backed away and watched as it searched around itself. Moving fast, he grabbed up his pack and pulled out all the books, the C-4, and Jack's knives. He dropped his nearly empty pack next to the robot and watched it pick it up. He wanted to get their weapons, but he couldn't have them near Jack if, really when, Jack got loose.
Jack moaned and Daniel quickly shoved his books in beside Jack's MRE's. Kneeling by Jack, Daniel checked his hands again. "Hey, Jack. Wake up for me."
"Fucker."
Daniel grinned even as he winced at Jack's language. "Yeah, sometimes I am. You too, by the way." He pulled Jack more upright and tried not to gasp as that pulled on his ribs. "You okay, Jack?"
Jack blinked. "My eyes aren't working." He tugged on his hands. "I need free. You fucking drugged me."
Mentally sighing, Daniel pulled Jack in to rest against his shoulder. "You're eyes will heal up. I can't let you free because you keep trying to hurt me."
"Preemptive strike." Jack sagged against him.
"No, Jack. I know you think you are still captured, but you aren't."
Jack snorted. "I'll never get away from it."
Daniel watched another robot work it's way around them. "Sure you will, Jack. You'll work really hard at being pretending to be fine until you really are fine."
With a shaky laugh Jack turned his head into Daniel's chest. "You're right. I would pretend." Jack blinked lazily, Daniel could feel it along his throat. "I've got breaks and I don't really have them."
"I know." Daniel slid his hand down Jack's arm.
"They messed me up." Jack titled his head back. "You're nice."
Raising his eyebrows, Daniel worried that the morphine was doing more damage than good. "Ah, thanks?" It was bad that Jack was calling him nice after he'd tied him up and drugged him.
Jack smiled. "Yeah. You haven't made me do anything bad." He rubbed the tip of his nose into the side of Daniel's throat. "You're kind. I like you."
"You still don't believe I'm real, do you?"
"Nope." Jack smiled into his skin and Daniel sighed.
****
(Part 2)
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Jack/Daniel
Beta: nightshadow_t2(who completely deserves internet cookies for putting up with me)
Disclaimer: Not mine; not for profit.
Notes: I wrote this for me. It was something I did because I get tried of smut fixes everything fics. Which can be nice to read sometimes, but, well, with my past I'd rather the slow fixing/promise it'll get better fics. It is set shortly after the first time Daniel de-ascends and before Jack is promoted to General.
Warning: Talk of past abuse that was never proven canon for Jack.
****
It was one thing to want to do something, it was another thing to not be able to do that something. Jack pushed himself up on an elbow and looked across the tent at Daniel sleeping curled in his sleeping bag. The want thing he had for Daniel was starting to bug him again and Jack knew that he’d end up yelling at Daniel if he didn’t figure out how to work through the crap in his own head. Sighing, Jack flopped back down and pulled the edge of the sleeping bag up to cover his face.
He’d known for a long while that Daniel was far more important than anyone. He also knew there was no way he could express his feelings without a flashback or a freak out or both. He’d tried with a guy once after the divorce and ended up paying for the medical bill. Jack scrubbed his hand through his hair and sighed. He needed an approach, a plan…
****
Daniel watched Jack from the corner of his eye. The fidgeting was worse today and Daniel had gotten very good over the years of telling Jack’s mood from his fidgeting. This wasn’t the bored fidgeting either, oh, no, this was the something-is-bugging-me-and-I’m-in-a-foul-mood fidgeting. Daniel blinked and tried to concentrate on the writing in front of him. He’d watched Jack carefully since regaining his memory, well, most of his memory. There were holes, but far less than there had been, he thought. It was probably the way the memories had piled themselves up, but he was seeing things differently than before. He’d thought Jack was holding back where as before he’d thought Jack distant because of something he must have done to anger Jack. Now he thought for sure it was something else. He wondered if it was a hole in his memory, but he didn’t have a lot of Jack is watching me sleep memories so he must be sleeping lighter, because he was catching Jack watching a lot lately.
Slipping down out his crouch to sit on his butt, Daniel turned the light to better see the writing he was supposed to be working on. He thought about how Jack didn’t seem to know what he wanted. It was possible, but Daniel thought Jack was more self-aware than that. He seen through the stupid act early on, and sometimes he’d let Jack get away with it, but not as often as Jack would like.
Jack moved more into his field of vision and Daniel tried not to stiffen, but he knew Jack was going to be yelling in a minute or two. He yelled more on the days he fidgeted so much.
“You ready for lunch, Daniel?”
Blinking, Daniel turned more towards Jack. “Oh, umm, okay. Sure, I guess, that’d be fine.” Daniel bit his tongue to shut up the babbling. Jack held out his hand and Daniel grabbed it to pull himself up. He stumbled as Jack pulled harder than he expected and with the grace of a wobbly kitten Daniel toppled them both into the nearby wall.
This, of course, was when Daniel realized the writing he’d been staring at was an off-shoot of Ancient. The wall light up under Jack’s hand and then there was a blinding flash of light.
****
Jack rubbed at his eyes, trying to get rid of the flash blindness. He felt around him, but came up empty on Daniel. Next he felt for his radio only to find it wasn’t working. Feeling carefully, Jack made sure it was on and tried again and still got nothing. “Son of a…” Finding a wall, Jack was a little leery of touching, but since he couldn’t see yet, well, it wasn’t really a choice. Working slowly along the wall it didn’t take him long to decide that he wasn’t in the same room as before and this just sucked. Still no Daniel and his eyes weren’t clearing. Jack slid down the wall to sit on his butt and took deep breaths to ward off the panic creeping up his throat.
“Daniel?”
****
Daniel came awake to a blank room. Groaning as he sat up, Daniel looked around for Jack and scrambled to his feet when he didn’t find him. Cussing under his breath as he realized he couldn’t feel the side of his left hand that had been in contact with the wall when the flash happened. Calling out for Jack just had his voice bouncing back at him.
“Well, crap.”
Daniel started a more thorough search of the walls. He needed out of this little room so he could find Jack and get out of here.
****
Jack sat and worked on his breathing for a while. No matter how much he blinked his eyes weren’t clearing up. He was blind, at least for now. Pushing up, Jack stood and ran a hand lightly over the wall he’d been leaning against. He needed to find Daniel. After one more deep breath, Jack started down the wall, gently sweeping a foot out to check for obstructions, half-hoping to hit Daniel. Several finger injuries later Jack came to a stretch of wall that didn’t feel the same, it vibrated in waves under his hand. Jack stopped and turned towards the wall. Blinking his useless eyes, Jack slapped the wall with an open hand, but that didn’t make waves, unless they were delayed. Jack held still for several long moments, but the waves stopped and started at odd intervals. Just as Jack started to think they were random he felt a pattern in them. Jack cocked his head and the pattern changed, sped up for a few moments, and then settled back down.
“I can’t hear you.” Jack felt the silence of the wall for several seconds before there was one vibration wave. Nodding, Jack shifted on his feet. “Can you hear me?” Lots of vibrations answered that and Jack grinned. “I can’t see.” One vibration came and then stillness. Jack rested his forehead against the wall. “This sucks, Daniel.”
****
Frustrated his radio wouldn’t work; Daniel paced his small room and tried to think what to do next. Jack would be frantic and if neither of them contacted the others there’d be a search eventually. He didn’t know if he could wait for that though, because he didn’t know what the room he was stuck in was used for or what condition Jack was in. He turned to start another circuit and stopped suddenly. The wall across from him had changed and become more transparent. A fuzzy, distorted Jack was on the other side of the wall. He was moving slowly, as though he was hurt, but Daniel couldn’t get a good enough view of him to tell for sure.
“Jack!”
Jack started and turned more towards the wall. Daniel hurried across to stand close. He watched Jack slap the wall. Daniel blinked in surprise. That was weird, could the ability to see be one sided?
“Jack, can you see me? I can see you, well, sort of, but I can’t get out of this room. There aren’t any doors.” Daniel stopped when Jack didn’t move, didn’t answer. Jack cocked his head. “Jack, you can’t hear me or see me, can you?”
“I can’t hear you.”
Daniel jerked back a little. Jack’s voice sounded as though it was coming through a speaker, but at least he could hear him. “Shit.”
“Can you hear me?”
“Yes, Jack, I can hear you. I know you can’t hear me, but I’m okay. You don’t seem to be able to see me, but I’m fine, really. Okay, so I can’t feel one side of my left hand, but other than that, I’m fine.”
Jack grinned. “I can’t see.”
Daniel wanted on Jack’s side of the wall, now. “No.” He watched Jack lean forward and rest his forehead against the wall. Since Jack couldn’t see it, Daniel framed Jack’s face with his hands.
“This sucks, Daniel.”
He couldn’t have agreed more. “Radio doesn’t work. I think the light fried it.” Daniel blinked. What if the light had blinded Jack forever? Daniel pulled away from the wall, adjusted his glasses and tried to see through the distortions to see Jack’s eyes. He knew it was useless, but he squinted for a while anyway, until Jack moved suddenly.
“Jack?” Suddenly the wall under his hand started to move. Daniel waited for the new opening to get just big enough and he slipped through to Jack’s side. Grabbing a handful of Jack’s vest Daniel blocked Jack’s panicked reaction with his numb hand. “Jack, Jack, it’s just me. Calm down.”
Jack jerked back and stilled. His breathing was labored and Daniel didn’t let go as Jack leaned away from him slowly.
“Daniel?”
Frowning, Daniel titled his head trying to get a better look at Jack’s half-closed eyes. “Yes, Jack.”
“Okay.” Jack turned his head towards the wall that was slowly sliding back into place. “This place feels weird in my head.”
Daniel could feel his eyebrows climbing. Jack didn’t admit to things like that, ever, at least not unless something was very wrong with him. “You okay?”
The slight shaking that started up at that wasn’t reassuring at all.
“Don’t…trust me right now. Okay?” Jack frowned. “I’m…the floor is sand. Did you notice that?”
Daniel glanced down and the floor was covered in a smear of sand. He opened his mouth to ask why trust would be a problem and then it dawned on him someone, he couldn’t place who, had told him Jack had been a prisoner in Iraq. Blowing out a quiet breath, Daniel shifted his grip on Jack to his arm. “Yeah, I see that. Jack, what would help you right now?”
Jack snorted.
“I’m serious. If I can help…”
“No. I wasn’t…You can help by not speaking anything but English, and maybe…Don’t…touch too much. You know…warn me first or something."
Worrying more now, because it was really serious when Jack didn’t joke or blow his concern off, Daniel edged them away from the wall. “Okay, I can do that. Anything useful back the way you came?”
Jack looked relieved and Daniel congratulated himself on not having pushed for more. “Nothing. Is your radio working? You okay?”
“No radio. I’m okay except that my left hand is numb on one side. My eyes are okay.”
“No numbness, just my eyes. Let’s keep moving the direction I was headed.”
Daniel moved with Jack, gently pushing him more towards the middle of the hallway. The lights were soft and they seemed to brighten as Daniel led Jack closer. He glanced behind them and, yes, the lights were dimming behind them. “Jack, please tell me this place sounds like other Ancient stuff we’ve dealt with.”
Jack snorted again, and Daniel wanted very badly to shake him.
“No, its sort of…It’s pushier.”
“That’s not good.”
“You think?”
“How pushy are we talking?”
Jack stopped and shrugged out of Daniel’s hold. “It’s…don’t ask questions, okay? Please. I know I don’t…” Jack dropped his head forward for a moment before straightening back up. “I’m fighting with the feeling that I’m trapped in the past and when I wanted the wall gone I started feeling…stuff.”
“Jack, you need to define ‘stuff.’ I need to know or I wouldn’t pry.”
Nodding, Jack rubbed his face. “I know it isn’t real…that the injuries are long gone, but the feel is there. Faint, though.”
Daniel was glad Jack couldn’t see his face right then. “Okay. We need to keep moving.” He waited until Jack offered an arm before starting on down the hallway. Trying to rein in the questions piling up in his head, Daniel started to tell Jack what he was seeing. “There isn’t really a lot of sand. Everything is smooth and the lights like us, they dim once we’ve gone by. I wonder if I should be calling you by your rank.”
Jack jerked slightly and shook his head. “Hell no, you’re doing fine. And don’t think I won’t give you crap about how you can ask questions without the question part later.” They moved further down the hall until Jack abruptly stopped. “No.”
Daniel scanned the area around them. “Everything looks the same.”
“I can’t, Daniel.” Jack pulled away and ended up with his back against the wall. Daniel stepped closer in case the wall parted, but it didn’t and Jack slid down to the floor. “I feel…” Jack’s head snapped back and he convulsed.
Daniel grabbed for him and pulled him away from the wall. Quickly he rearranged them so that Jack was wrapped in him and no skin was touching sand. “You’re okay, Jack. Come on, stay calm.” Daniel could hear the tremble in his voice, but Jack relaxed suddenly so Daniel didn’t have to think about that. “Jack, if you can hear me start talking to me. Tell me the rest of the sentence you were saying a moment ago.”
Jack blinked several times and tensed. “Who are you?”
Shit. Daniel let Jack’s hands roam over his thighs and worried about how much damage Jack could do if he couldn’t convince him they were friends. “I’m Daniel Jackson. We work together.”
“No we don’t. I know my team.” Jack’s hand when down his leg and Daniel bent his knee so Jack could feel his boot. “I’ve gear on too.”
Daniel thought fast, trying to find the best way to convince Jack to keep moving without explaining the whole mess. Then he remembered that this Jack wouldn’t know what to make of the Ancient tech talking at him. “Yes, we are on a mission. You and I were accidentally trapped in an underground complex and we were working our way out. You went down and woke up with memory loss.”
Jack absently fingered the seam on Daniel’s inner thigh. It made Daniel wonder if Jack was testing him somehow.
“My eyes?”
“There was a bright flash. You’ll be fine.”
Jack nodded, and then cocked his head. “They got you too? We’re escaping, right?”
Daniel stared at the back of Jack’s head. He hadn’t listened or…Daniel drew a deep breath…or the Ancient thing was still messing with Jack’s brain. “Yeah, we’re escaping. No need to be quiet because there is no one left to hear.”
Jack nodded and struggled upright. Daniel steadied him as he listed left. As Jack started moving forward Daniel stirred him away from the walls. At least they were headed the same way and he didn’t have to try to turn them around.
“They fry you?”
Daniel pressed his lips together. There was no way this was going to go well. “No, I haven’t been caught long.”
“Fucking hurts. Don’t let it fuck you up if they raped you.”
He couldn’t breathe. He forced his hand to stay the same on Jack’s arm, not to grip painfully. “They do that a lot.” He made it a statement because he had no idea what a question would do to this version of Jack. He hadn’t heard Jack say ‘fuck’ so much, ever. Jack nodded and swept his foot out ahead of them. Daniel had watched him do that several times before he realized he was checking the path.
“You aren’t a pilot.”
“No. Linguist.” Daniel jerked his head up as he realized something he couldn’t remember ever occurring to him. Pilot. Jack would have been treated horribly just because he was a pilot, because that was one of the most hated things to be to the Iraqis’ mind at that time.
“Better to be that. Pilots are toys.”
The tone made Daniel want to throw up. He edged Jack away from the wall as they went into a curve in the hall. “People aren’t toys.”
“No, shouldn’t be a toy. Hurts. Beatings are easier. You know when they’ll end by the feel.” Jack shrugged and swept his foot out in front again. “Less shameful to be beaten.”
Daniel stopped and pulled Jack into a hug. “Sorry. I’m sorry. You don’t need to be ashamed. Don’t be, please.”
Jack sagged in his arms and Daniel shifted his grip trying to keep them upright. The lights started pulsing and Daniel quickly laid Jack down, shifting Jack’s arm to cover his eyes as the lights got brighter. Then they faded back to the dimness that Daniel had been seeing in the lights behind them. Gently, Daniel moved Jack’s arm and checked his pulse.
****
Jack blinked. This was weird. He’d just been talking to Daniel, hadn’t he? Looking around, Jack didn’t like that room was empty. Looking down at himself, Jack could see he was in that white crap Daniel showed up in when he was dead.
A young woman appeared out of nothing. “Hello.”
“Hi. What’s going on?”
“I’m afraid you do not match the requirements for the functioning of this location. You should leave before you are damaged.”
“I was blind a minute ago, that kind of damage?”
“You are still unable to see. Regretfully the damage to you cannot be helped. It will heal.”
Jack bounced on his toes. “We’re in my head, aren’t we? I hate that.”
“Apologies. I have changed the lights to guide you out before you are destroyed. Please upgrade before returning. Thank you.”
Jack started to retort, but the young woman disappeared. Great, he hated not getting in the last word.
****
Daniel felt it as Jack jerked in his arms. “Jack, come on, talk to me.”
“Lights.”
Daniel glanced up at the lights and they were changing. In his arms Jack convulsed again, and Daniel pulled Jack up and hefted him over his shoulder. With what felt like a block of C-4 digging into his back, Daniel started to follow the lights.
Several turns later he started passing intersections and rooms with actual doors. Daniel ignored them and followed the lights until around a corner he could see daylight. Coming out of the hallway into the open Daniel could tell where they were. In the distance he could see the Stargate. They were very far up the side of the valley.
Daniel carried Jack further down the hillside and tried his radio. It didn’t make a sound. Sighing, Daniel started looking for a good place to sit Jack down. Suddenly a boot hit him in the side and an eerily silent Jack started fighting him.
“Jack! Jack, calm down. I’ll sit you down, just, ow, stop kicking me. Just a second.”
Daniel pitched them sideways and rolled through the landing and let Jack go except for a hand on Jack’s vest. He sat and watched Jack blink. Sighing, Daniel felt along his ribs and decided that Jack hadn’t done much damage.
“Who are you?”
“I’m Daniel. We’re safe for right now. You got hit by a flash of light and I’m pretty sure your sight will come back soon.”
Jack scrubbed a hand across his face. “Okay. You a soldier?”
“Linguist. I work for the military a lot.”
Jack nodded and felt around on himself. “They took my gear. This stuff doesn’t feel right. No, wait, I know this, but not this…” Jack fingered the end of his knife and then moved on to the block of C4.
Daniel tried to remember if C4 would have been something Jack could have had on missions when he was captured. “I just grabbed what I could.”
“You see anyone else?”
Winching, Daniel slid his feet towards himself. “Jack, I think we should keep moving.”
Jack back away until he hit a tree. “Don’t play me. I won’t, not again. If you were really escaping you’d have seen the cells next to mine.”
Swallowing bile, Daniel let go of Jack as he backed away. “I found you in a hallway. No cells. Jack, I think you mostly got yourself out.”
Jack shook his head. “Not after last time.” Scrubbing his hand across his face again, Jack blinked. “Fuck.”
Frowning, Daniel eased back towards Jack. “How about we just rest for a while, okay?”
“No, gotta keep moving.” Jack frowned and felt down his body with his hands. “Weird.”
“What’s wrong Jack?”
“Nothing, I’m good.” Jack struggled upright and shook off Daniel’s attempt to help. “Don’t touch me.”
Jerking his hand back, Daniel blocked Jack from walking into a tree. “Okay, sorry. Look, I’m your friend. I know you don’t remember that right now, but we’re friends.”
Jack stopped and stood still just breathing. He blinked and rubbed his hand over his hair. “Friends?”
“Yes, Jack.” Hoping that wasn’t a bad thing to be with wherever Jack was in his past, Daniel gently touched the back of Jack’s hand. “Friends, I swear.”
Jack nodded. “Right. Yeah, sure.”
“No, you say yeah, sure, you bet ya all run together like its one word. Drives me crazy.”
“You’re all proper sentences and shit like that?”
“Sometimes, I am. Jack, how about we sit and eat something, okay?”
Jack dropped back to the ground faster than Daniel really wanted. “Sure. I could eat.”
Daniel dropped his pack and apologized when the noise startled Jack. Digging through it he came up with a single MRE. Disgusted with himself for not packing more, Daniel poured in the tiny amount of water that would start the reaction to heat the MRE into the heating pouch. “Okay, Jack. I’ve got it heating. You like the pasta ones, but this is the version with peanut butter for the vegetable crackers, so I’ll eat that part.”
Jack turned his head slowly towards Daniel. “What the hell are you talking about? And what’s that hissing noise?”
“Oh, ah, okay, you don’t remember what an MRE is? The hissing is the MRE heating. It just takes a little water and it heats the pouch and then you open it up to eat.”
“I know my ass hurts. What the hell kind of rations do civilians get anyway?”
Daniel blinked. “You hurt? I thought you were okay, well, not your eyes, but they’ll be okay, I mean, you don’t feel okay otherwise?”
Cocking his head, Jack narrowed his eyes. “How long were you caught for?”
“Not long. Little room, you came along, and then a long hallway.”
Jack nodded and spoke softly enough Daniel had to strain to hear; “Must of decided to try to escape again.” Jack swept his hand down one leg. “I keep thinking I’ve got a break in the leg, but I touch it and I don’t find it, but I feel it.”
“Oh. You, ah, hit your head, but you don’t have any broken bones that I could tell.”
“Yeah, it’s weird. I remember the break, but it feels like it happened a long time ago, but not all at the same time.”
“It did happen a long time ago, Jack. I promise. You are safe now.”
Jack barked a laugh and hugged his knees up to his chest. “No, I’m not safe. I want to kill and…” Jack rolled forward until he was kneeling. Daniel winched as one of Jack’s knees made a cracking sound. “You’re my friend?”
“Yes, Jack.”
Jack nodded. “Good. Kill me.”
Daniel scrabbled back and stopped when he hit a tree. “Jack…”
“No, hear me out. I’m broken. I…was…it was horrible. I can’t be recaptured. Just kill me.”
Tears sliding down his face, Daniel bit his lip as he moved back towards Jack. “What about your family?”
The harsh sound Jack made couldn’t really be called a laugh. “They’ll be better off.”
“No.” Daniel blew air at Jack’s face. He’d read something about it, but he couldn’t remember what, it might help though. “Jack, the worst is over now. You’ll get home and it’ll be okay.”
“Right and when I can’t…do anything normal, then what?”
Daniel didn’t need to wonder what Jack meant. “You’ll be okay. So maybe you’ll have to leave the light on for a while, I’m sure it won’t be a problem.”
Jack toppled over backwards to sit on his butt. “You think?”
“Yeah, you’ll be fine. I know you will.”
Jack slumped over to one side. “Okay. I’m holding you to your word.” Sliding further down, Jack closed his eyes. “Night, Daniel.”
Daniel sighed as Jack’s breathing evened out. Sorting through the parts of the MRE, Daniel saved the fruit pouch and candy for Jack. Slowly eating, Daniel tried to decide if leaving Jack was more dangerous than just waiting for help to find them.
****
Jack felt a hand snake across his neck. Timing it carefully, Jack slammed his hand into the side of the hand owner’s head. Ignoring the surprised shout, Jack followed up with another attempted hit, but the man had backed up instead of coming in to beat him. Jack opened his eyes and stopped cold. He hadn’t been blind, what the… Breathing heavily, Jack started listening to the quick rush of words off to his left.
“…hit like Te’lac when you want to. I think you broke my glasses, Jack. You okay? I was trying to check your pulse. You remember me yet? This is getting old fast, Jack.”
Blinking his useless eyes, Jack tried to remember where he’d heard that voice before. He felt like he knew it. His body was trying to relax. He felt his leg where it should be broken and came up with a whole leg. Ached, but it wasn’t broken. That was weird.
“No, you don’t, great. You aren’t hurt. I know it might feel like it, but you are fine, Jack, really. I’m Daniel.”
“Daniel.” There was a rustle and Jack shifted away from the noise. The noise stopped and there was a quiet sigh.
“Yes, my name is Daniel. Here, Jack, fruit to eat. I’ll show you the notch in the pouch when you’re ready.”
Jack could hear the flopping sound of plastic and reached out gingerly. When his hand wasn’t struck, Jack snatched the pouch and turned it all around feeling for holes or openings. He wasn’t getting drugged again if he could help it. Finding the notch, Jack tore open the pouch and sniffed the contents. Smelled like peaches.
“Okay, you found it yourself. Want the spoon?”
Jack ignored Daniel and tipped the pouch up to drink the juice.
“Guess not. Are you still feeling hurt, Jack?”
Licking his fingers clean from scooping up the peaches, Jack nodded slightly and then he waited. He listened to Daniel stand up and move away, up the hillside which, weirdly, was covered in grass underneath him. “Where are you going?”
“I need to get us back to base. Get you looked at. You don’t ever…”
“Hey! Don’t…”
****
Daniel froze. He knew what Jack had stopped himself from saying. Don’t leave. He had vague memories of Jack pleading with him about not leaving that he'd not been able to place yet. He hated not having his whole memory. “Oh, no, no, I’m just trying to get a better line of sight. Our teammates should be coming this way and I don’t want to miss a chance to let them know where we are.” Daniel watched Jack’s face twist into a grimace and then he rubbed his eyes with his hand. “With you blind, I’d rather not move you too much.”
Jack nodded. “Fine.” He swept his hands across the grass. “What are we doing until then?”
Daniel frowned and dropped to sit on his pack. Double checking that Jack was out of arm’s reach, Daniel fidgeted with the strap on his pack for several moments. “We could talk, but you hate that.”
“Really? Why do I hate it?” Jack cocked his head. “Other than being beaten for every word?”
Winching, Daniel leaned back. “You don’t talk about personal things very much. You like to tease." Licking his lip, Daniel tried to decide how to explain enough to get Jack to trust him without mentioning things like aliens. "You're always trying to ruffle my hair."
"Uh." Jack fingered his pants, absently working his fingers across the seams and the cargo pockets. "We know each other though? Teammates?"
"Yes, Jack." Standing, Daniel looked across the valley towards the Gate, then down at Jack. "We need to see across the valley. If we can met up with Sam and T'ealc we can get you back to base faster." Rubbing at his still numb hand, Daniel started when Jack flopped backwards and rubbed the grass with his outstretched hands.
"I'm fucked up. I'm hallucinating again." Jack pulled a blade of grass and rolled it between his fingers. "You see grass?"
"You aren't hallucinating the grass."
"Huh." Jack rubbed his leg and Daniel felt like burying his face in his hands. As Jack shoved himself upright, Daniel rolled sideways towards his pack. "I think I must be drugged again. I can't feel my broken ribs or leg. My head isn't gushing blood. You can't be real." He turned and started working his way back towards the entrance they'd come out. Daniel hurriedly grabbed the pack and threw it in front of Jack's foot as it came down. Jack fell in a tumble and Daniel pinned him stomach down, one hand trapped and the other arm flailing.
"You can't go back, Jack!" Daniel dodged the flailing and kept his weight centered on the middle of Jack's back. Keeping Jack's trapped foot under his butt, Daniel panted as Jack screamed. Focused on keeping Jack down and unable to kill him, Daniel ignored the screaming for several minutes until Jack suddenly went limp. "Sorry, Jack. You can't go back there." Jack panted, laying still and seemly relaxed. Daniel wasn't buying it. "Jack, you need to stay with me."
"Get off me."
Daniel tried not to shiver. He hated it when Jack used that tone of voice. "I can't right now. You have to calm down first."
"Get the fuck off me." Jack jerked on his leg and Daniel pressed down on him to keep control. "Shit! Get off, you bastard."
"I'm not going to hurt you, Jack." Daniel shifted so he could get a hand free. He carded his fingers through Jack's hair making it stand on end. Jack had lost his cap somewhere along the way. Daniel wondered if maybe having it would help focus Jack enough to keep him grounded. "You're safe with me."
Jack froze as Daniel's fingers slid through his hair. "Safe?"
Daniel rubbed circles at the base of Jack's neck with his thumb. "I promise you."
Jack turned his head and blew out a breath into the grass beneath them. "Let me up."
Daniel eased off and stepped back and sideways fast as Jack rolled upright and stood there with his chest heaving. Grabbing up the pack, Daniel watched Jack carefully. After Jack's breathing slowed, Daniel approached, making noise in the grass as he moved.
"You're like an elephant."
"I don't want to sneak up on you."
Jack snorted. "Yeah, okay." He turned towards Daniel and rubbed at the side of his head. Daniel forced himself not to ask about pain. As Jack stumbled forward, Daniel slipped under his arm and moved into supporting Jack's weight in a practiced move. Jack stopped and blinked in Daniel's direction. "We're teammates?"
"Yeah. You taught me how to fight."
Jack nodded. "No wonder you can kick my ass." He took a step forward and stopped. "We headed the right way?"
"Yeah, we're good."
They stumbled down the hill and Daniel figured it was better than fighting Jack about going back into the Ancient base.
****
Jack waited for his moment. The kid sounded nice, but he was leading them east, which wasn't good unless they'd moved him across Iraq while he was out of it. The grass had to be from drugs. His head hurt like the bone was still cracked and he was fuzzy like he'd been drugged. The kid was weird though. Any time he'd been held down in the past, Jack had been treated a lot differently. The easy way the kid was all nice to him was suspect. He purposely went left as the kid leaned right and they went down in a tangle of limbs. Jack let himself be picked up and kept silent as Daniel started them going downhill again. That had been too easy. He wondered if maybe they were being watched. With his eyes screwed up he couldn't be for sure, but it felt like it. The burning in the back of his brain made him think so.
They stopped and Jack sat where he was put. He started feeling his pockets and cataloging what he had. It was all weird. Glasses, which he knew he didn't wear. Several pens, ammo clips, three notebooks, a pill box...Jack yelped as Daniel grabbed the pillbox from him.
"Oh, thank you, Jack. I lost my allergy pills when we...aah, got lost." There was a rustle and a snap noise.
"You have allergies?"
"Still don't remember anything, huh?" There was the noise of the kid drinking and then something nudged his hand. "Here, drink."
Taking the canteen, Jack felt around the mouth. After sniffing carefully, Jack took a tiny sip. Then he jumped as Daniel spoke.
"It isn't drugged. Just drink it."
Huffing, Jack took another small sip and tried to hand it back.
"No, keep it for a while. Once you decide you aren't drugged, drink some more."
They moved on and Jack tried not to let the feeling of breaks where he didn't actually have interfere with following what Daniel was doing.
****
Worrying more as Jack became more quiet, Daniel tried to pick the smoothest route down the slope. It was becoming dusk and he'd have to stop them for the night. He didn't know how he was going to make sure Jack stayed put and get any rest. He could try staying up, but that wasn't going to be easy when he didn't have something to study. "It is getting dark. Let's stop for the night, Jack."
Jack silently sat down, feeling around him with his hands. Daniel dropped the pack out of Jack's reach and turned to check the distance they still needed to go. The sudden attack wasn't completely unexpected. Daniel fought Jack as they slid down the hill in a tangle. Jack landed several punches to his head, and Daniel resorted to twisting Jack's ear. With a yelp, Jack pulled back and tried to box his ears in return. As they rolled over, Daniel slammed Jack's hand into the dirt and got a knee in the ribs in return.
"Damn it, Jack. Stop fighting me." As Jack wrapped his hand around Daniel's throat all he could think was it had taken longer for Jack to choke him than he'd expected. He couldn't breathe and he didn't want to break Jack's thumb, which was the only way Jack had taught him to get out of this sort of hold. His vision graying around the edges, Daniel went completely limp. He did it slowly so that Jack would hopefully think he'd really passed out.
Jack checked his pulse and started going through his pockets. Daniel lay still as Jack moved away, sweeping the ground for the pack. Lolling his head to the side, Daniel looked across the valley. He could just see a spot that looked like their teammates. He couldn't tell for sure without his glasses. Grateful he hadn't put in his contacts that morning because he'd have lost them by now, Daniel turned his head back and watched Jack frown as he felt his way through the contents of the pack.
"Weird." Jack sat the book he was holding down carefully. He rubbed his open hand across the grass next to himself and snorted. "Fucking drugs."
Daniel wanted to bang his head on the ground. Stubborn man. He watched as Jack found and devoured a power bar.
Then Jack came back over and nudged him with a foot. Staying limp, Daniel watched as Jack grimaced. "Damn kid." Moving away, Jack went back to rummaging through the pack. Daniel could see the 550 cord he'd sat aside sitting between two of his books. If he could get the cord and tie Jack's hands and feet they'd be in one spot for the others to find. Daniel debated with himself about trying and if it'd be worse overall for Jack if he managed it. As Jack started repacking, Daniel decided he didn't have a choice. Jack turned away to feel for a book and Daniel rolled, grabbing up the cord.
Jack whipped around and lunged for him, but Daniel was up and he grabbed Jack's outstretched hands. Pinning Jack's hands under one arm, he wrapped Jack's wrists with the cord. Ignoring the hits to his legs and back, Daniel got the cord knotted. He reached up and twisted Jack's ear. With a yelp, Jack tried to jerk away. Daniel got the cord wrapped around Jack's torso and knotted where Jack couldn't reach it. Jack's breathing went harsh and he started shaking. Daniel pushed on his shoulder and Jack went down onto his butt.
"You okay, Jack?" Daniel rubbed his throat, his voice sounded horrible.
Jack blinked and breathed, but he wasn't interacting. Daniel tied his boots together using the laces. He removed everything from Jack's vest and made sure he had all the hideaway knives. He put everything into the pack. He walked around the area several times. Stopping here and there. He finally sat the pack down on the other side of a tree. He walked around some more before returning to Jack who jerked and darted to the side.
"It'll be okay, Jack. We'll wait here for our team." Daniel sat down several feet outside of Jack's reach. "Sorry about tying you up."
Jack blinked and tugged on his bindings. "You're the weirdest person I've ever met."
"I'll take that as a complement." Daniel felt along his ribs trying to decide if the pain that had blossomed in his left side was from Jack or something else. "I think you broke my rib."
"Good."
Daniel jerked his head up and glared at Jack. "You are going to feel bad later, Jack. And I'm going to milk your guilt for all it's worth."
****
Jack tugged on his wrists. The kid had managed to get them tight enough he couldn't just slip them, but not too tight. He already felt guilty for hurting Daniel, but he couldn't figure out why. His headache wasn't getting any better from it either. Laying down, Jack tried to figure out if he could kick off his boots. He didn't want to run around on sand in bare feet, but if it got him free he could do it. He flinched as what felt like grass jabbed him in the cheek. He just wanted to go home.
He yanked on his wrists. He could feel a little give. Struggling, Jack ignored the hoarse yell from Daniel. He just had to get free. There was a jab in his leg and Jack hissed.
"Sorry, Jack. It'll be okay. I promise."
He could feel cold creeping through him from the injection site. "Morphine."
"Just a little, Jack." Daniel rubbed his forearms and around his wrists.
"NO! No, no, no. I don't want it." Jack whimpered as his body relaxed from the drug. "Don't take me back there."
"You're okay, Jack. We're not going anywhere."
Tears were rolling down his cheeks, but Jack didn't care. He just wanted to be safe again. "Please. I'll do whatever you want. Please don't drug me again. Please..." He was shifted and pulled more upright.
"We're best friends, Jack. You've saved my life. I've saved yours." Daniel's voice was hoarse and he stopped to cough occasionally. "We sit in your living room and you watch your hockey game while I read." Jack was settled against Daniel's chest and he could feel Daniel's heartbeat. "You are always tightening straps for me. Keeping track of my glasses. Helping me remember to eat when I'm caught up in a translation."
"Friends."
"Yes, Jack. I swear."
Daniel carded a hand through his hair again. Jack closed his useless eyes and relaxed the rest of the way. He was getting sleepy. He really hated that, but he couldn't muster the anger right now. He sighed.
"I'll get you home, Jack."
He thought he felt Daniel kiss his temple, but Jack couldn't be sure as he slipped into oblivion.
****
Daniel sighed in relief as Jack started to snore just a little. Happy the pen injector had been mistaken for a pen by Jack, Daniel shifted them so Jack didn't rest on his ribs. He dozed off and on. He came completely awake as dawn came. Jack was still snoring and limp. Daniel checked his hands and rolled him on his side. Stretching, Daniel froze as he heard a noise. Looking to where he'd stashed the pack, Daniel fleetly wished keeping a knife on himself could have been less dangerous. Standing, Daniel placed himself between the noise and Jack.
Out of the long grass trundled a robot. It was squat and squarish. Daniel stared at it as it stopped because they were in it's path. It backed up and moved forward several times before turning to the right and started to slowly move around them. Daniel waved his hand in front of it and it stopped until he removed his hand. Daniel watched it disappear up the hill. Turning around as he heard another noise, Daniel watched another robot appear from the tall grass. This one looked just like the first, but it had the rest of their gear on it.
Daniel edged up beside it and picked up Jack's pack. The robot stopped. Daniel backed away and watched as it searched around itself. Moving fast, he grabbed up his pack and pulled out all the books, the C-4, and Jack's knives. He dropped his nearly empty pack next to the robot and watched it pick it up. He wanted to get their weapons, but he couldn't have them near Jack if, really when, Jack got loose.
Jack moaned and Daniel quickly shoved his books in beside Jack's MRE's. Kneeling by Jack, Daniel checked his hands again. "Hey, Jack. Wake up for me."
"Fucker."
Daniel grinned even as he winced at Jack's language. "Yeah, sometimes I am. You too, by the way." He pulled Jack more upright and tried not to gasp as that pulled on his ribs. "You okay, Jack?"
Jack blinked. "My eyes aren't working." He tugged on his hands. "I need free. You fucking drugged me."
Mentally sighing, Daniel pulled Jack in to rest against his shoulder. "You're eyes will heal up. I can't let you free because you keep trying to hurt me."
"Preemptive strike." Jack sagged against him.
"No, Jack. I know you think you are still captured, but you aren't."
Jack snorted. "I'll never get away from it."
Daniel watched another robot work it's way around them. "Sure you will, Jack. You'll work really hard at being pretending to be fine until you really are fine."
With a shaky laugh Jack turned his head into Daniel's chest. "You're right. I would pretend." Jack blinked lazily, Daniel could feel it along his throat. "I've got breaks and I don't really have them."
"I know." Daniel slid his hand down Jack's arm.
"They messed me up." Jack titled his head back. "You're nice."
Raising his eyebrows, Daniel worried that the morphine was doing more damage than good. "Ah, thanks?" It was bad that Jack was calling him nice after he'd tied him up and drugged him.
Jack smiled. "Yeah. You haven't made me do anything bad." He rubbed the tip of his nose into the side of Daniel's throat. "You're kind. I like you."
"You still don't believe I'm real, do you?"
"Nope." Jack smiled into his skin and Daniel sighed.
****
(Part 2)