The Super Slueths at B&F Detective Agency have just jumped on the case of the Carpet Munchers. Odds have it the two gumshoes are going to be knee-deep in mystery, danger, and erotica as they hunt down the culprits of this senseless rug destruction.

I've been running with an old flame.

I call him Netflix.com

Why does John always hurt the ones I love when I am drunk?

...So I won’t even try to...

Who do you think you are Kaiser Permanente? You are sooo hip, looping The Postal Service on your commercials...pretty soon everyone is gonna want to come here.

Have I carved enough my Lord?
Child, you are a bone.

FUCK FUCK FUCK!!
FUck You. FucK my LIFE

I cannot FUCKING believe this fucking shit is fucking happening to my fucking bitch ass self.
FUckFUCK fUCK SHIT FUCK fuck fuck fuck shitshit.

AGHARGAHGRHAGRH!!!!!*&%^$&!!crapjesus.

I could just listen to Love Hysteria all day (or night) long.

...now that I've got pictures to go with his name, I must retire.

Oh man. That Salvia made my hair soooo sex today.

Who killed Johny Moondog?