POI Smallville crossover fusion #9: John's Bad Day
TITLE: John's Bad Day
AUTHOR: whomii2
DISCLAIMER: do not own
SUMMARY: Fusion AU where John=Clark Kent/Superman; Harold=Lex Luthor; Shaw=Lois Lane. There was never a rift between "Clark" and "Lex" and "Lex" never became evil.
John was pretty sure Stanton was hitting on him.
It had been a slow news day and most of the Daily Planet reporters were chasing leads or working on human interest pieces until a big story broke. Apparently gossip was also going through a dry spell, as Kara seemed at loose ends and was looking to John to provide her a little distraction. Either with some dirt on his friends or of a more physical kind, she didn't seem too particular. When he reiterated once again that he didn't have any dirty secrets on Harold or Superman he was going to share, she moved into his personal space and suggested John might be more willing to share in a less public place - perhaps the supply closet? Kara's smile seemed rather shark-like to John and was frankly giving him the creeps.
John knew Shaw was quietly laughing at him. She hadn't typed anything for the last 5 minutes once Stanton began accosting him. Usually she ignored John when they weren't working a story - except for demands that John bring her coffee. John liked that Shaw was capable and could look after herself - most of the time. It was only occasionally when she bit off more than she could chew that Superman had to step in. But a true partner would have rescued John from his current predicament.
Finally he couldn't take it any more. John mumbled an excuse to Stanton and fled. He changed to Superman and went to stop a few minor crimes to settle his nerves. Then he flew to the top of the Luthercorp building to talk to Harold. His best friend was a good listener, and John didn't think it would be a good idea to complain to Jessica about his coworker hitting on him.
Unfortunately John's bad day was about to get worse, as Harold was in a teasing mood.
After listening patiently to John's complaints about his coworker, Harold remarked “I am afraid Miss Stanton was doomed to disappointment. You would be far too vanilla for her.”
“I'm a superpowered alien” John replied indignantly.
“Yes, but a rather vanilla superpowered alien. Unless....” Harold's gaze traveled toward John's groin “you wouldn't happen to have tentacles?”
“What? No! Why would you ask that? And quit looking at my crotch!”
“Well if you didn't want people checking you out, maybe you shouldn't wear tight spandex with flaming red underwear. They rather draw the eye like a bullseye.”
“I've told you before, its not underwear!”
“If you insist. The truth is, we really know very little about Kryptonians. We may have taken some things for granted based on your superficial similarity to one of us. For all we know you could be the equivalent of the female of your species, assuming only two Kryptonian genders. Perhaps you could even get pregnant.”
“Dad was right, you are evil. No one ever comments on Batman's costume or sex life.”
“Well, the man dresses in all leather like a giant bat. I think it is a given he is more than a little kinky. And not even the Joker would be crazy enough to question Batman's manliness.”
AUTHOR: whomii2
DISCLAIMER: do not own
SUMMARY: Fusion AU where John=Clark Kent/Superman; Harold=Lex Luthor; Shaw=Lois Lane. There was never a rift between "Clark" and "Lex" and "Lex" never became evil.
John was pretty sure Stanton was hitting on him.
It had been a slow news day and most of the Daily Planet reporters were chasing leads or working on human interest pieces until a big story broke. Apparently gossip was also going through a dry spell, as Kara seemed at loose ends and was looking to John to provide her a little distraction. Either with some dirt on his friends or of a more physical kind, she didn't seem too particular. When he reiterated once again that he didn't have any dirty secrets on Harold or Superman he was going to share, she moved into his personal space and suggested John might be more willing to share in a less public place - perhaps the supply closet? Kara's smile seemed rather shark-like to John and was frankly giving him the creeps.
John knew Shaw was quietly laughing at him. She hadn't typed anything for the last 5 minutes once Stanton began accosting him. Usually she ignored John when they weren't working a story - except for demands that John bring her coffee. John liked that Shaw was capable and could look after herself - most of the time. It was only occasionally when she bit off more than she could chew that Superman had to step in. But a true partner would have rescued John from his current predicament.
Finally he couldn't take it any more. John mumbled an excuse to Stanton and fled. He changed to Superman and went to stop a few minor crimes to settle his nerves. Then he flew to the top of the Luthercorp building to talk to Harold. His best friend was a good listener, and John didn't think it would be a good idea to complain to Jessica about his coworker hitting on him.
Unfortunately John's bad day was about to get worse, as Harold was in a teasing mood.
After listening patiently to John's complaints about his coworker, Harold remarked “I am afraid Miss Stanton was doomed to disappointment. You would be far too vanilla for her.”
“I'm a superpowered alien” John replied indignantly.
“Yes, but a rather vanilla superpowered alien. Unless....” Harold's gaze traveled toward John's groin “you wouldn't happen to have tentacles?”
“What? No! Why would you ask that? And quit looking at my crotch!”
“Well if you didn't want people checking you out, maybe you shouldn't wear tight spandex with flaming red underwear. They rather draw the eye like a bullseye.”
“I've told you before, its not underwear!”
“If you insist. The truth is, we really know very little about Kryptonians. We may have taken some things for granted based on your superficial similarity to one of us. For all we know you could be the equivalent of the female of your species, assuming only two Kryptonian genders. Perhaps you could even get pregnant.”
“Dad was right, you are evil. No one ever comments on Batman's costume or sex life.”
“Well, the man dresses in all leather like a giant bat. I think it is a given he is more than a little kinky. And not even the Joker would be crazy enough to question Batman's manliness.”