I've thought about the whole can-girls-and-guys-just-be-friends question alot too, and to be honest - not a clue. I used to thing that guys only befriend girls because they either conciously or subconciously want to get with them (this feeling was especially strong during my bitter phase post-asshat), and have oodles of examples to back that idea up. However, I can now say that I have five guy friends who are just that - friends for the sake of friendship. There is no sexual tension at all. However, I know two of those friendships started out because I had teensy crushes on the guys, and wanted to get to know them better (but obviously grew out of the crush and ended up with a really valuable relationship). So maybe friendships with the other sex start out lustful, but then that either shrinks away to nothing or blooms? The other three friendships began as friendships, with no sight of lust between us (at least on my part, and I can say for sure that one of my guy friends had no lust for me either, because we have talked about this
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girls can be friends with guys and not have any ulterior motives, but guys can never be friends with girls without some level of attraction there. at least, that's how ive found it. every guy ive been friends with has always at least had something that they liked, and therefore wanted to "get to know" me better. probably why most of my friednships with guys have died. have you ever read the ladder theory? some of its a bit kooky, but i tend to agree a little. now, im not saying that all guys will make a move, but there definitely always seems to be some level of attraction. sometimes it'll come out into the open, and usually thats where a friendship ends, or continues...but not the same. sorry for sounding so doom-like, thats just my experience. plus finals have fried my brain. :p
I like to think that male-female platonic friendships are possible but, like you. . . can't come up with many. I think exceptions are as follows: a) One of the two people is homosexual b) The people have known each other since birth (or soon thereafter) or c) The two people have previously dated BUT even this is not always the case since I have hooked up with ex-boyfreind friends several times.
This really bothers me, since I think it should be possible. And I suppose anything can happen. But I think that in a close friendship with someone, you realize that that person is one who will be there for you no matter what, who shares your same interests, who values you as a person and not just as a sexual object. . . but then in that case, why shouldn't one or both people be attracted to the other? Isn't that what a relationship is supposed to be? The only problems arise, I suppose, when only one of the two is attracted to the other.
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I like to think that male-female platonic friendships are possible but, like you. . . can't come up with many. I think exceptions are as follows:
a) One of the two people is homosexual
b) The people have known each other since birth (or soon thereafter)
or c) The two people have previously dated BUT even this is not always the case since I have hooked up with ex-boyfreind friends several times.
This really bothers me, since I think it should be possible. And I suppose anything can happen. But I think that in a close friendship with someone, you realize that that person is one who will be there for you no matter what, who shares your same interests, who values you as a person and not just as a sexual object. . . but then in that case, why shouldn't one or both people be attracted to the other? Isn't that what a relationship is supposed to be? The only problems arise, I suppose, when only one of the two is attracted to the other.
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