wait for it...
holy crap, i'm BACK. back from my craptastic vaycay, back on LJ (for now, 'cause they've become asshats again. some more.), back from the ded, et cetera, et cetera... and i brought you a joke.
After school one day, a little boy goes to his father and asks, "Dad, I'm having some trouble with the concept of definitely and potentially. Do you think you could explain the difference to me so I can actually get what my teacher's talking about?"
The father thinks about this request for a moment, smiles to himself, and finally replies, "I think I can go you one better than that." He pulls out a pen and scribbles something down on a sheet of paper, which he then hands over to the boy. "When I was your age, I always picked up on things faster when I had an example to go by. Take these questions to your mother, your sister, and your brother, and see what sort of answers they give you. Then come back here and tell me what you've figured out."
The little boy dutifully follows his father's instructions, and quickly manages to corner his mother in the kitchen. Reading from his piece of paper, he asks, "Mom, would you sleep with Patrick Swayze for a million dollars?"
His mother pauses what she's doing and turns to the boy. "Gosh, son... That's kind of a difficult question. I mean, I really love your father, but... well, it's a million dollars, and it IS Patrick Swayze after all..." At last she nods and says, "Yes, I probably would."
The boy then continues on to his older sister's room, where he plies her with the second question: "If somebody paid you a million bucks, would you sleep with Brad Pitt?"
Her response is immediately forthcoming. "Duh! Of course I would, you moron! Now get the hell out of my room!"
The intrepid young man then locates his older brother to pose his final question, blurting it out without preamble: "Would you sleep with Johnny Depp for a million dollars?"
The brother gives the matter all of thirty seconds thought before answering, "Well, it's not like I'm gay or anything, but a million bucks is a shit-ton of money, and Johnny Depp IS a good-looking guy... so, yeah, I guess I could hit that."
The boy then returns to his father, and is greeted with a smile. "So, son... Tell me what you've learned about definitely and potentially."
The little boy carefully folds the sheet of paper and stuffs it in his back pocket before replying. "Well, Dad, I've learned that we're definitely living with two sluts and a fag, and that we're potentially sitting on three million dollars."