Cassie has a fem moment

[whowouldknow]

When I was a kid I wanted a Barbie, but my parents wouldn't get me one because my mother felt there was something inherently sexist about them. I remember calling Santa (I don't know if this is still done, but there used to be a 976 number you could call during the holiday season where you heard a pre-recorded message from Santa that changed every

Comments

[tinymammoth]

I was given Barbies, but my mother emphasized that she thought they were dumb because you couldn't do much with them. Ultimately I concluded she was right and gave them to my neighbor, who had the hand-eye coordination to get the clothes on and off without bursting into tears. Had I shared this talent I might have liked Barbie more.

I think my mom's approach on this was a good middle of the road solution. She never said anything about beauty ideals and so on, she just said, "well, if you want, but legos are so much cooler."

It never occurred to me that Barbie was supposed to be some kind of great beauty.

[whowouldknow]

my mother emphasized that she thought they were dumb because you couldn't do much with them

1) Your parents seem to have had a healthier attitude toward such things. I'm reminded of their willingness to admit there was no Santa Claus, when my mother kept on trying to fool me long after I had started to doubt that he was the one getting me gifts.

2) I wasn't actually all that big on dolls. I had a few. I remember trying to wash one doll's hair, and ruining the hair in the process. And I had a Cabbage Patch doll who had a bunch of cool outfits. But I also remember going to a friend's house where everyone was playing with the dollhouse.I thought the whole thing was fairly boring so I chose to be the cow. I kept going into different rooms of the house and saying "Moo, moo!" until I annoyed everyone else and they decided to play something else.

[bitogoth]

well, my sister and i had barbies as kids, but mine invariably had half their hair cut off, stuff stuck to her, and lost body parts rather easily. my mom wanted me to form my own opinions of the blonde bombshell and i certainly did. i now own two barbies- a hispanic witch barbie from two hallowe'ens ago (because the orange stripe in black hair made me incredibly jealous and i love her dress) and an asian barbie- given to me this holiday by amusing parents... this past halowe'en the witch barbie only came in anglo, so i bought the doll, butchered it, and kept the dress for my other barbie. the more things change the more they stay the same

[whowouldknow]

this only works to a degree however and doesn't carry into relationships well

I was mainly thinking about how it relates to interaction with people, cases where getting things yourself doesn't apply because it's not necessarily a thing. And even if it is a thing, there are certain items that wouldn't seem worth much unless they were given. This may not be the best example, but while I like flowers there is a world of difference between flowers I buy myself and flowers that someone gives me.

That also ties into something that I started to write but ended up not including in my post. How some things not only need to be given to you by someone else, they need to be given to you by someone who hasn't been told "Please get me this." Again, flowers from someone else are great but you end up liking them more if you didn't have to ask them to buy you flowers.

[benjasattva]

I never got a barbie growing up either!

I also wanted GI Joe, but they were too violent!?
I understand all the problems with Barbie, but GI Joe?

In also seriousness, Bravo Cassie on your last paragraph.
I like it. The easiest person to lie to is our self.
Honesty with others is easy. With yourself its hard.
I would also like to point to cognitive dissonance,
as a consideration in your discussion.

[whowouldknow]

I'm sure they would have had a problem with me owning GI Joe too. And I'd prefer not to give a kid GI Joe too, but I was raised in a fairly anti-military family.

I'm glad you liked the last paragraph. It's something I've been thinking about a lot lately for a variety of reasons. And actually I got into a conversation about cognitive dissonance last night with Bear, although it wasn't about Barbie.

[naivespider]

Hehe, I always really liked Barbie dolls for some reason. I mean, I wasn't one of those obsessive prissy girls, but I really liked giving them makeovers and making my own clothes for them. I never really thought about them having abnormally large boobs or being "perfect" until I heard people talking about that stuff when I was like 13 or something. I guess I never thought about it that way on my own, they were just dolls I could make clothes for and give cool hairdos to.

I actually think the story you shared was kind of sad, tho I don't know if that was the intent. I understand having certain beliefs because you believe you should have them (if that makes sense), but I think it's kind of sad to keep yourself from something you want just because you don't think you should have it. It's a form of self-deprivation, I suppose. Then again, you say you wouldn't even want a Barbie doll by now, so maybe it's just a way of teaching yourself what you want/need.

[whowouldknow]

If there are areas of my life where I currently deprive myself, Barbie isn't one of them.

I don't think the self-deprivation thing is a big part of me. But there are things that I can't get for myself that must be gotten through others and I often feel uncomfortable asking for them. It is not what I consider to be one of my better personality traits. I've gotten better about it, but it's certainly still there sometimes.

[benjasattva]

On the topic of self deprivation.
Vegetarianism, or as it has been described,
a wierd cross between vegan and vegetarian,
only more stringent on certain issues than vegans,
and less stringent on others.
Whats the deal?
(I know you may have explained it before, but i think i forgot;
mind starting a new topic to explain it)

I suggest the Benjasattva diet,
no eating animals that could kick your ass.
(ie. no Kangaroos -- the kiwi people scared me with that one)

[whowouldknow]

Vegetarianism is not the same thing as self-deprivation. I'm not depriving myself because I feel I don't deserve it. I don't eat meat because I don't want it. I feel the animal has a right to existence that doesn't get erased by the fact that we know how to kill and cook it.

The fact that I can kick an animal's ass, how does that give me the right to end its life? I don't need the flesh of animals to live, so I don't use it.

This is a bigger topic than I have room for here. Ask me about it some time in person.