Mama called yesterday at about noon and said that he wasn't going to last long. Her and V got in the car after much debating about whether we could handle seeing him in the hospital, drove up from Chi and picked me up, and we drove to Corvallis to see him
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I can't really think straight.
I'm smoking and watching south park to stay numb. So far it's working about as well as plugging a ship leak with a spit wad.
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The sting of losing a loved one is the hardest feeling I've ever had to overcome. I'm sure some of the things you've been dealing with lately are only adding on to the tremendous anxiety you must be feeling. But girl, the fact that you're still standing says a lot about how fucking strong you are! So many people buckle under the weight of life and either off themselves, or just let the pain envelop them so completely that they become one of the living dead themselves.
Everything's gonna be ok, friend. You've gotta deal a big, painful blow right back at life. Do it for your Dad.
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I don't feel quite OK posting here. But, I just saw this, so. . .
Om shanti/ om shakti.
:hugs:
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