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[wicked_wiccan]

finally. It is finally happening. So close to what i need to be. So close to where i used to be. Love has made me depise who i was. Love has made me a fool. Clouding judgment and hurting people in the long run. Thats all it is good for. Made me paranoid, jealous, possesive. I was happy too. but that is the illusion of love. makes you think your

Comments

[magik3x3]

Hmmp...you sound like I used to feel. It seems that everything is figured out. Well, it sounds like it is, but, I had too perfect myself the same way you feel that you need too. I found my perfect mask, but I'm not strong enough to wear it. I know what it'll take to get my strength back but I just can't seem to do it. When I read your posts, it sounds a lot like i used to feel. A lot like what Magik was for me. Instead of getting rid of Magik, I studied him. I found his strengths and I made them my own. In studying Magik I found my original mask, my perfect mask, the one I feel I was born to wear. I've chosen not to wear the complete mask yet, but everything is pushing me towards it. Sometimes I feel afraid to expose all of myself to the world. I feel weak because of this. I wish I had the fearlessness you speak of. The only way to attain a fearless state is too get rid of my emotional attachments but I've been unattached for so long I don't think I wanna go back to that. I just want the power I once had while still being myself. I

[wicked_wiccan]

i am talking of a transformation of myself. the masks are a door to let people see the actual self. I am who i am regardless the mask i place upon me. The mask i wear now is a doorway to lies. It doesnt reflect who i am in the least. I want to change my mask to the other, nearly perfected mask. The one i wear now is perfect for what i needed it to be. to deceive others. To be like everyone else. The other is more blunt. a straight road to my being is behind it. Fear is useless. Hiding is pointless. People say noone is perfect. thats a lie. everyone can be a perfect them. Perfection isnt just goal oriented to be like jesus. Sinless, giving, all that. You can be perfect in many ways. You can be a perfect thief for instance. You say you dont want the lack of emotions you once had. i admit. some emotions seem great but if all you had were those then yay. but it isnt possible. emotions make you weak. they control you. They are the voice in everyones head, heart and sould that controls them. Not me. not anymore. The change is now