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May 08, 2005 21:05

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anonymous May 9 2005, 06:03:52 UTC
I am in love with someone I have never met. I don't care how fucking dumb that sounds because it's true. I'm tired of the shit I get for it. I'm tired of people trying to tell me who to fall in love with. There's just no one I can turn to, to talk to about it because no one understands or takes me seriously. I hate it all. I've have 3 suicide attempts, and I abuse myself on purpose. There's just nothing I can do. I always have a smile on, but really, I'm dying inside. Also, this person I am in love with is 6 years older than I am. Who fucking cares about age? WHY does it matter? Once my life has past, people might actually take me seriously and realize what they did. They've created someone that has driven themselves mad. I see things, I talk to myself, and I just can't get my mind off of that special someone. I can't. It's affected my school work, it's affected my social life, and it's affected me, mostly. But true love is the one that is the hardest to get and I am trying my best to keep alive just for this person. It's not a fairy ( ... )

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anonymous May 9 2005, 21:36:54 UTC
I know just how you feel
Im in love with someone who is 9 years older
I always like people way older
I understand where youre coming from compeletly
i cut myself
and have tried almost 10 other ways to hurt myself since i was 11
Ive attempter suicide
a few times
and almost succeeded but unfortunalty i didnt
Sometimes i wish i did but im also happy i didnt die
Life feels like its too much to handle
And i hate it
things just dont go my way
and its just not fair
but theres people worse off than us out there
And knowing that keeps me alive
and the hope that one day ill end up with the one i love

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anonymous May 9 2005, 22:02:16 UTC
I'm slowly losing sight of why I bother waking up every morning. I feel so replaceable, like no one in my life really truly needs me. I'm tired of being second-best. I want to come before someone I have no right coming before. I think I might really truly hopelessly like my best friend. He is my whole world and I'm just so tired of hurting him. I can't stand the idea of feeling this way. But I can't stand that he loves her more than me either. I'm shaping up to be the same person people have been accusing me of being all along. I don't know how to live with myself anymore. I'm like a shadow of myself, lurking and watching. I miss feeling whole & alive.

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anonymous May 11 2005, 01:33:27 UTC
people just don't seem to understand that i'm not crying for help, i'm begging for release

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