Echo of Dusk - Chapter IV
Title: Echo of Dusk
Author: wild_terrain (ie. fi_chan)
Banner:
Chapter: [4/20?]
Rating: M15+ --> R18+ (this chapter)
Genre: AU
Summary: Two men met one cold, winters day. One, a cook's assistant, the other a young lawyer. The year was 1950, when this instant attraction occured... However, the threat of civil war loomed and the two found themselves faced with the risk of seperation. Yunho swore he'd protect JaeJoong at all cost...but can he really?
A/N: Hey guys! Well I'm quite exhausted, just got back from my holidays etc. So if there are any mistakes or weirdness, I apologise, Im just uploading it half asleep ^^;;
OST for this chapter:
~Taking Over Me - Evanescence (3.54mb) DOWNLOAD!!
YUNHO:
I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you
I believe in you
I'll give up everything just to find you
I have to be with you to live to breathe
~#1 Crush - Garbage (4.41 mb) DOWNLOAD!!
YUNHO:
I would die for you, I've been dying just to feel you by my side
I will cry for you, I will wash away your pain with all my tears, And drown your fear
I will pray for you
He was dreaming now. He had long passed the land of reality and drifted to a comforting place where his fever could not annoy him and unwanted hands could not touch him.
He felt confused…like he was stuck halfway. He had a faint recognition of the road he was walking down, and even felt old pangs of happiness. And yet at the same time he felt a sense of abandonment - like he didn’t belong in such a place anymore. Like it had moved on without him.
But still he slowly walked down that vaguely familiar road. All was quiet until he climbed over the old rickety fence and church bells pierced the air. Such familiar vibration!
And that’s when he heard it - the sound of the rumbling, metallic voice carried on the wind towards him like a special messenger bird.
Dong. Dong. Look outside JaeJoong, he’ll be there soon. We are sending him to you.
He looked up, no longer out on the roadside but next to a steamy window. And there he was, walking down. Not the magnificently dressed, deeply admired lawyer, but the scruffily dressed, deeply needed solder.
Look outside JaeJoong, he’ll be there soon. We are sending him to you.
~~~ ~~~ ~~~
I scowled as I looked up from the telegram. It wasn’t the text printed there that made me feel annoyed - I had hardly expected anything better. No, it was the sound of rain drops smashing against the roof of my tent that brought out the irritation. There was many rocks and dirt where we were situated in the mountainous area…dirt which would now charmingly be inconvenient, sloppy, mud. Mud, I could handle - nothing in this country of world could stop me from my mission of getting JaeJoong back. However, mud could and most likely would prevent my men from wanting to help me. Maybe if I had had the energy to be nicer to them the past year I wouldn’t have to worry but…looking back on the lifeless zombie I was…maybe even still was, I can’t see how my morale could have been any different - after all, love can elate you or it can break you.
I stepped out of my tent, staring helplessly back at my precious telegram in a daze. JaeJoong’s name had been listed on the record list of a North Korean POW camp amongst five others. It was all I had, but after living though the pain of having absolutely nothing for over a year, I was plenty grateful with any amount of information.
The only problem was the location he was in…POW camp. They weren’t exactly known for their comfort or hospitable treatment. Many prisoners were starved and forced to assist in labour under brutal conditions with no ounce of concern for their precious lives. Just what torture would JaeJoong be experiencing? Any sort of thoughts on mistreatment happening to that boy made me sick in the stomach. Hell, hadn’t I treated Changmin with less respect than the others merely because he had kissed JaeJoong before I had a chance to? Clearly any situation where I didn’t have control made me anxious, grumpy and unreasonable.
But this wasn’t a stolen kiss or a harsh military training or hidden bear holes, this was a POW camp! I knew that if I did find JaeJoong he would not be the same.
It was starting to make me physically ill as too many thoughts snuck past the shaky mental block I had constructed. All these thoughts consisted of images involving how that beautiful man would be now. He was already a scrawny little thing when we met near his kitchen. Would he have any fat left on him or would he be like a walking skeleton? Would I even recognize him?
I loosened the collar of my army jacket when I felt my throat constricting tightly, hoping that more oxygen would be able to assist my intense panic.
I had to think of the most important fact of all - HE WAS NOT DEAD. He was still breathing somewhere in this world. Surely everything else I would be able to handle just knowing that!
“What’s up, Major?”
I looked up startled.
“If you’re standing in the rain, you have to at least sing in it!”
I stared at MinWoo in confusion and then smiled at his eccentric logic. MinWoo would always (no matter how tough I was with him) be a cheeky, friendly idiot. He was a tall boy, three years my junior and I would always catch him grinning at me.
“It er…wasn’t that funny, Major…” MinWoo half laughed. “Well well well…we haven’t seen a smile from you in a while. I hardly dare to think that my witty remark could stir such a miracle. What’s goin’ on? Have we won the stalemate?”
I sighed. “No, not exactly. I have to temporarily leave this camp.”
“What? Why?!”
“I’m going to try and sneak into North Korea to rescue some of our POWs. ‘Sneak’ being the operative word…I’m going to get demoted like hell for it, then shot, and shot again, for not getting permission for it.”
“Sounds great!”
“MinWoo you…” I shook my head in tired amusement.
“But Major, why the sudden urge? Is life here too boring for you?”
“Hardly. I quite enjoy hiding behind rocks with my heavy rifle and hoping the communists won’t be smart enough to find me.”
“Was that…”
“Sarcasm? Yes it most certainly was, Sergeant.” Another sigh. “No...a friend of mine, who I owe so much to, was taken to a North Korean POW camp. I intend to rescue him or die trying.”
“You owe him? No offense Major, but it’s hard to think that someone like you could owe anyone anything.”
“Is that a compliment, Sergeant?” I gave a small smile. “I do owe him though. He saved my life.” Not in a physical sense, no. But in an emotional sense he had certainly saved me - before we met I had been drifting but he breathed life back into me and gave me back some meaning.
“Wow... Is there any way I could help out? I’m great at reading maps!”
“And so you are,” I agreed. “But sneaking into a POW camp is unfortunately going to be a little more difficult than reading a map. It’s practically a suicide mission. I must be crazy.”
“Does seem like it, eh Major, MinWoo grinned. “But crazily loyal at the same time. That’s what’s so awesome about you, you don’t just sit back and watch things happened, you get your own ass involved and give it your all. I admire that, Major! I really do…” he glanced down at his feet for a few seconds before staring back at me. “It sounds more interesting than dying out here. I love challenges. Take me along!”
“Sergeant, you’re too young for such a noble sacrifice.”
“Too young? I’m only three years younger. And besides, you’re pretty darn young yourself for a Major!”
“I suppose I am a hypocrite then.”
“Damn straight, Major. But I happen to love hypocrites!”
“Thanks MinWoo…”
I admit I was quite astonished that MinWoo had been so eager to volunteer despite such little information of my situation. I hadn’t realized how respected I was despite my grumpy personality of late. I suppose achieving so much so young had something to do with it. Perhaps my fear and obsession over the lost JaeJoong had truly blinded me from properly seeing the loyalty and admiration of my soldiers.
Two of MinWoo’s friends seemed to share his thirst of adventure…or maybe it was just shared stupidity. I was quite relieved to share the company of MinWoo, Byeong and Jinho though - it meant that I wouldn’t have to use my last resort to help me - Shim Changmin (not that he’d be of much use considering for the past week he had made the medical tent his second home, his burn wounds being nursed from a grenade explosion. Quite a nicely timed hiatus, I had thought rather vindictively).
The rain continued for several days but we were mostly protected by it; driving towards the 38th Parallel in our empty, half broken supply truck.
But as we drove nearer, it became apparent to all of us that we’d have to abandon the truck, maybe hide it somewhere and pray that we could find our way back to it if we needed a fast get away vehicle down the end of the track…if we ever made it that far…
However, we had a problem - a broken supply truck filled with four South Korean soldiers, all armed to the teeth with various weaponry, waltzing into a North Korean camp would be a little…noticeable. Just a little, heh.
We had no other option but to sneak into enemy territory on foot and use the foliage to protect our presence from being easily discovered.
For four long days we hid and slowly made our way deeper into North Korea on foot. Paranoid about being found, I would constantly insist on having the night shift for guarding our little camp. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust my boys…it was just my paranoia took over all other thoughts, that one of them would accidentally fall asleep and get us thrown into captivity as a result.
But after the second night of no sleep…I wondered if I could physically carry on. I convinced the boys that I could, choosing to leave the tiny seeds of doubt to myself. But when the dawn arrived for our third day, I realized that my desperation to find my JaeJoong might not even be enough to overpower my fatigued body.
The boys were all still asleep when I first heard the sound of danger. As I stared through the dense tree cover I could see a group of North Korean soldiers. I counted seven of them and wondered what they were doing in such a small group for. Perhaps there were North Korean troops scattered in random areas to prevent any sneak attacks from our side. Perhaps they were Deserters, sick of endangering their lives for their government’s greedy need to expand their territory and control. But, from observing them a little longer, that didn’t seem too likely - I could hear an officer barking orders around which ruled out my Deserters theory.
To my surprise, I could see a girl amongst them - she looked quite young, even younger than my little sister. I was even more surprised when the man standing in front of her moved aside and her pale flesh was exposed - she was standing completely naked. A North Korean prostitute.
Better make sure that fact stays hidden… I thought, worried that the boys might get a bit excited by the sight.
Carefully creeping over to where the boys lay, I coaxed them into consciousness. “We’ve got company,” I whispered. “Seven of them. So don’t make any sudden movements or noises,” I urged.
I crept back into my hiding spot to continue observing them, my rifle clutched cautiously in my hands.
As it turned out, all day our camps existed side by side without their realization of our existence. I prayed that it would stay that way and that they’d move on - if they were still there tomorrow it would make it a lot harder for us to move away.
As the boys slept away yet another night, I shifted to a more comfortable position on the ground and stared out past the tree tops and onto the many peaceful stars. Who would have thought that the world would be so chaotic with such innocent beauty like their light deceiving our vision?
My eyes fell downward as the sudden noise of leaves crunching filled my hearing. I didn’t dare move as I heard the boots continuing to crush over the dry leaves, unable to see for myself whereabouts they were. I could only hear their close range.
The boots stopped somewhere behind where my little camp was and I lost my breath as the panic of our potential discovery took over.
I could hear some rustling and more leaf crunching and swallowed deeply. It was so close to where I was!
But then my fear evaporated as I head a new sound and realized what was happening. As the soft set of moans grew more consistent, I felt my cheeks shamefully heating up.
Back in my old camp I had certainly been aware of the passing prostitutes relieving my men of their burdens. But never had I had to witness their sex right nearby me! I almost felt like I was intruding on some sacred act and should get up and apologize! But of course I stayed where I was, cheeks continuously red, trying to block out the sound of her delicate mewling.
Soon enough, deeper moans began to harmonize with the prostitute’s pleasure and I could not stop my heart from racing. The deep, vibration from the man’s moans reminded me strongly of how JaeJoong sounded when I was touching him.
To my embarrassment (and alarm!) with every erotic pant and moan my ears detected, my crotch began to burn more wildly.
Please stop! I begged loudly in my mind. How could I get aroused in this place? With so much at stake, so much to lose?
More deep moans…
My mouth went dry as once again all my breath ceased. I tried to think about something else…like how tired I was and how hungry I was but for once my mind disobeyed me completely.
Deep moans…delicate moans…fevered panting….leaves crunching…
I tried mot to gasp out loud as I finally fell for the temptation and felt my arm snap loose and grasp my warm hard-on. I gently kneaded it and rubbed it over the fabric of my pants.
But as the continuous melody of low groaning burned my ear drums, I lost myself completely. A flash of light and then warmth developed me and suddenly I could feel JaeJoong’s heated breath against my neck and tender fingers stroking my sensitive skin which had been deprived of any sexual contact for over a year.
I barely registered my impatient hand slipping desperately under my waistband to grip my erect penis.
I continued to stroke it and massage it as JaeJoong’s pants grew more intense. He was curling upwards, his wet forehead coating my chest with a patch of his warm sweat. His eyes were clamped shut and clenched tightly, his mouth gaping deliciously open as his pleasure-filled moans escaped into the heated atmosphere.
I hurriedly pulled my free hand away from my rifle and shoved my trembling wrist into my mouth to muffle my own sudden need to moan.
My damp fingers danced across the pale, white landscape of his chest until they firmly grasped the side of his ribs. Moving my thumbs upwards I could feel the subtle thickness of his underarm hair and the contrast of the coarse, tiny strands against his slick skin caused another deep moan from me to escape.
I closed my eyes tightly as the wrist muffling my panting began to muffle a new sound - the sound of my sobbing. I knew this wasn’t real. I wasn’t making love with my beloved JaeJoongie… He wasn’t really here, withering under me erotically. I was alone in an alien forest, masturbating next to a pair of North Koreans fucking.
Despite my distressed sobs, my fingers continued to rub my bulging erection as if determined to prove myself wrong about the situation.
The intensity of my own fingers against my cock grew as I fought to bring back the illusions until I started to feel the pain of my nails digging into my vulnerable skin instead of the pleasurable stroking I had started off with. Even now, I was frantically changing every sensation I felt to match JaeJoong - the pain was not caused from my long fingernails cutting into my penis, I told myself, but from JaeJoong biting me passionately. It was JaeJoong, I was not alone. It was JaeJoong….
I bit down harder onto my wrist as I finally felt myself ready to burst. My pre-cum soaked fingers released my erection and flew up to pull down my army pants. I only had one pair; I couldn’t afford to have mysterious stains marring the material!
I collapsed down onto the dirt in front of me, almost in synch with the erotic couple nearby. I tried to silently catch my breath back, my hands clenched tightly into fists, my chin dipped in exhaustion into the puddle of cum underneath me.
Leaves crunched loudly around me but then gradually became softer. But I remained where I was, lying uncomfortably in the dirt, my sweaty chest heaving, my soul undeniable broken.
After a lifetime of minutes passed, I slowly sat back up; tucking my weeping organ back inside my dirt-stained pants and zipped myself back up.
I was glad that the prostitute had left with her man. If she had approached me, I knew that for once in my adult life my vulnerability would have beckoned her into my arms. For so long I had desperately needed the feel of myself inside JaeJoong’s tight, warm body…in those long five minutes I wouldn’t have cared if that tight, warm spot had been a vagina.
But now she was gone and I was glad. She would never have been a good substitute for JaeJoong anyway. JaeJoong was JaeJoong. No body felt as good as his I realized, looking back on my past relationships; nor would ever be in the future.
It was a ridiculous metaphor, but I felt like Cinderella and her glass slipper in that old fairy tale. The shoe had been created only for her and could only ever fit on anyone else’s foot but her own. JaeJoong was that amazing, beautiful, delicate shoe which only I could fit perfectly into. He had been created for me and only me. A million ugly stepsisters could try and slip into that shoe, but they’d all end up disappointed for only I would find success - I was satisfied just knowing that.
Surely we would have had to have met at some point in our life, for how can a princess run without a shoe? I was convinced that we had been subconsciously searching for each other since we were born. And now that we had found each other…I refused to continue breathing without him.
We ended up spending another day hidden - there was no need to risk our exposure to move onwards, because the small North Korean camp which had (unbeknownst to them) almost smashed into us, was finally moving away.
With immense relief I stood up, stretching my aching legs. It was then that my eyes caught movement around ten metres in front of me. It was the prostitute that they had left behind. And she was staring at me in alarm. How careless of me! Could she see my uniform? Could she see I was from South Korea? Would she raise the alert?!
I took a slow step forward, glancing behind me to gesture at MinWoo at the others to stay where they were. As I made my way towards her, she made no move to run away, she just continued to lean against the tree, staring at me.
I tried to ignore my pounding heart as I came face to face with the naked body I had only glimpsed from a distance. I could tell she had been crying and could see why - her bones were barely covered with skin. Her tiny breasts were barely even there whilst her ribs jutted out like a set of sharp knives. I wondered when she had last eaten.
“Annyong…” I softly called. Still she wouldn’t move, her eyes firmly locked onto mine. Taking a deep breath I took off my army jacket. Mistaking my intention, she shrunk back against the tree and whimpered.
“No…” I awkwardly explained, carefully slipping the large jacket over her shoulders and pulling it closed. “I’ve got some food. Do you want to eat?”
She followed me timidly to our hidden spot in the trees. The boys were watching me and shooting baffled glances to one another.
“I’m watching you!” I mumbled to MinWoo. “Don’t you boys dare make a move on her.”
“We’re not idiots!” he hissed back.
I turned back to the prostitute. “Come here, it’s okay.”
Kneeling down I gathered some bread together and placed it into her trembling hands. I could almost hear the conflicts going on in her mind - take the food and trust the South Korean, or distrust the South Korean and run.
Of course she had spent so long without food, with barely enough energy to satisfy men; how could she reject the food I was offering?
Once she had finished eating, I asked her if she knew the location of JaeJoong’s POW camp. I softly promised to give her more food if she could lead us there undiscovered by her nation’s army. She slowly held out her hand for more food and I smiled in relief.
“Thank you!” I breathed, lifting up her hand and kissing the back of her fingers. We were no longer South Korean or North Korean, but two people trying their best to survive.
That night I finally caved in and let Jinho have my nightshift. Feeling relieved that I’d found us a tour guide (so to speak), I slipped into a deep sleep - the first time in four days.
I woke up the next morning, during the most exquisite dream. JaeJoong was with me in my old apartment bedroom. We were lying on my white sheets and I was enjoying the feel of JaeJoong’s head resting under my neck. His fingers were stroking my chest in vertical lines with his eyes closed peacefully.
We both remained that way for a long time, but then he lifted his head up and stared up at me. Without breaking eye contact, he tipped his head downwards and carefully slid his tongue over my exposed nipple.
I choked back a moan, transfixed by his intense stare. I couldn’t look away even when the pleasure of his teeth nipping at my nipple almost blinded me. It felt so good. I didn’t want him to stop. Ever.
Without smiling he crawled forward and sucked my bottom lip. Automatically, I moaned into his mouth and let his tongue play with my own. His kiss was more timid than usual I noticed, and briefly wondered why he was so shy with me when we had already done so much more.
I started to pull away from him to recollect some oxygen, but then realized I was already awake. Slowly opening my eyes in sleepy confusion, I gasped and tried to sit up.
“No no no!” I hurriedly exclaimed in alarm, trying to push the prostitute off me. In the shallow end of my sleep she had somehow crawled on top of me. Her hands remained spread over the skin of my belly underneath my tank top, which she had felt the need to slide upwards. It had been her I’d been kissing, not JaeJoong - a fact I felt both immensely disappointing and disturbing.
“That’s not necessary,” I explained, trying to gently remove her tiny hands from under my shirt. “You don’t need to do that. I don’t mind giving you food.”
She frowned but backed away from me long enough for me to pull my tank top back down. “You’ll show us the POW camp, yes?” I clarified.
She nodded.
“Then you’re already doing plenty for me,” I smiled. “Did you sleep well?”
“Yes, thank you.”
I looked a way for a brief moment and cleared my throat in embarrassment. “Is that a habit of yours?” I asked, curiously.
She looked at me in confusion.
“Do you often try to seduce men in their sleep?”
“No…” she admitted.
“Oh?” My frown faded. “Then why…?”
“Your friend…” she replied. “He told me that you hadn’t received any pleasure for many months.”
“Did he now?” I asked, my face reddening significantly in humiliation. “Tell me, was this friend the really tall one with the acne problem?”
“Yes.”
“Ah.” I smiled awkwardly, grinding my teeth together. MinWoo was going to die.
During breakfast I couldn’t help but notice that MinWoo was unusually happy. It was almost as if he was trying not to smile, but too lazy to actually restrain himself. Gee, wonder why that was the case.
After we finished eating, I dusted off my lap and pulled him aside. “MinWoo…” I began quietly. “What were you thinking?”
“You owe me one, Major” He replied smugly. I wanted to whack him one.
“Owe you for what, huh? The nice nipple service I woke up to this morning?”
“Amongst other things,” he smirked.
“No. Not amongst other things. No things. Nothing! Don’t you dare try that again! You hurt my pride telling strange women that I can’t get laid!”
“You didn’t do anything?!” he stared at me flabbergasted.
“Definitely not. I have restraint and class unlike you.”
“I really don’t understand you, Major…”
“I don’t expect you to,” I sighed, bending down to collect my things for our trip today. “Do me a favour and grow up. Don’t treat her like a prostitute who can only service the men she’s with. Treat her like a person - in case you haven’t noticed, she is one.”
////TBC////
A/N: Yes I know what you're probably thinking: WHAT THE HELL! Why's it taking so long! MAKE HIM FIND JAEJOONG ALREADY!...haha I understand but believe it or not this chapter was kinda important for me.
Apart from showing how SLOWWWW this wait is for Yunho as well, I think it shows an interesting element of their relationship - when you're parted from someone for so long (which you don't know for THAT long) you start to lose contact a bit with your memories...therefore Yunho's strongest memories of JaeJoong are in a sexual element - they were only really together at night time due to the fighting so that's when most of the memories take place. Therefore the intimate memories are the ones he clings to most! Sorry I just thought that was interesting...rather than thinking YUNHO IS ONE HORNY BUGGER! haha.
Plus...I think the prostitute is a very important character for this chapter. I needed a sort of comparison of sorts to see how Yunho would react to more unfortunate/badly mistreated people which most people might react to with digust etc. Also, the whole "she has no energy to satisfy men" is a huge similarity...so I guess you could say that I'm warming Yunho up for the next chapter when he'll get the shock of his life ^^;;;
PLEASE COMMENT!! I love hearing from you guys :D. Plus...as a writer, it's always awesome to hear thoughts and criticisms, right~~. So don't be shy~.
OR FOR MORE, CHECK OUT MY (somewhat temporarily limited) ARCHIVE = //THE BOOKSHELF// :D
Author: wild_terrain (ie. fi_chan)
Banner:
Chapter: [4/20?]
Rating: M15+ --> R18+ (this chapter)
Genre: AU
Summary: Two men met one cold, winters day. One, a cook's assistant, the other a young lawyer. The year was 1950, when this instant attraction occured... However, the threat of civil war loomed and the two found themselves faced with the risk of seperation. Yunho swore he'd protect JaeJoong at all cost...but can he really?
A/N: Hey guys! Well I'm quite exhausted, just got back from my holidays etc. So if there are any mistakes or weirdness, I apologise, Im just uploading it half asleep ^^;;
OST for this chapter:
~Taking Over Me - Evanescence (3.54mb) DOWNLOAD!!
YUNHO:
I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you
I believe in you
I'll give up everything just to find you
I have to be with you to live to breathe
~#1 Crush - Garbage (4.41 mb) DOWNLOAD!!
YUNHO:
I would die for you, I've been dying just to feel you by my side
I will cry for you, I will wash away your pain with all my tears, And drown your fear
I will pray for you
He was dreaming now. He had long passed the land of reality and drifted to a comforting place where his fever could not annoy him and unwanted hands could not touch him.
He felt confused…like he was stuck halfway. He had a faint recognition of the road he was walking down, and even felt old pangs of happiness. And yet at the same time he felt a sense of abandonment - like he didn’t belong in such a place anymore. Like it had moved on without him.
But still he slowly walked down that vaguely familiar road. All was quiet until he climbed over the old rickety fence and church bells pierced the air. Such familiar vibration!
And that’s when he heard it - the sound of the rumbling, metallic voice carried on the wind towards him like a special messenger bird.
Dong. Dong. Look outside JaeJoong, he’ll be there soon. We are sending him to you.
He looked up, no longer out on the roadside but next to a steamy window. And there he was, walking down. Not the magnificently dressed, deeply admired lawyer, but the scruffily dressed, deeply needed solder.
Look outside JaeJoong, he’ll be there soon. We are sending him to you.
~~~ ~~~ ~~~
I scowled as I looked up from the telegram. It wasn’t the text printed there that made me feel annoyed - I had hardly expected anything better. No, it was the sound of rain drops smashing against the roof of my tent that brought out the irritation. There was many rocks and dirt where we were situated in the mountainous area…dirt which would now charmingly be inconvenient, sloppy, mud. Mud, I could handle - nothing in this country of world could stop me from my mission of getting JaeJoong back. However, mud could and most likely would prevent my men from wanting to help me. Maybe if I had had the energy to be nicer to them the past year I wouldn’t have to worry but…looking back on the lifeless zombie I was…maybe even still was, I can’t see how my morale could have been any different - after all, love can elate you or it can break you.
I stepped out of my tent, staring helplessly back at my precious telegram in a daze. JaeJoong’s name had been listed on the record list of a North Korean POW camp amongst five others. It was all I had, but after living though the pain of having absolutely nothing for over a year, I was plenty grateful with any amount of information.
The only problem was the location he was in…POW camp. They weren’t exactly known for their comfort or hospitable treatment. Many prisoners were starved and forced to assist in labour under brutal conditions with no ounce of concern for their precious lives. Just what torture would JaeJoong be experiencing? Any sort of thoughts on mistreatment happening to that boy made me sick in the stomach. Hell, hadn’t I treated Changmin with less respect than the others merely because he had kissed JaeJoong before I had a chance to? Clearly any situation where I didn’t have control made me anxious, grumpy and unreasonable.
But this wasn’t a stolen kiss or a harsh military training or hidden bear holes, this was a POW camp! I knew that if I did find JaeJoong he would not be the same.
It was starting to make me physically ill as too many thoughts snuck past the shaky mental block I had constructed. All these thoughts consisted of images involving how that beautiful man would be now. He was already a scrawny little thing when we met near his kitchen. Would he have any fat left on him or would he be like a walking skeleton? Would I even recognize him?
I loosened the collar of my army jacket when I felt my throat constricting tightly, hoping that more oxygen would be able to assist my intense panic.
I had to think of the most important fact of all - HE WAS NOT DEAD. He was still breathing somewhere in this world. Surely everything else I would be able to handle just knowing that!
“What’s up, Major?”
I looked up startled.
“If you’re standing in the rain, you have to at least sing in it!”
I stared at MinWoo in confusion and then smiled at his eccentric logic. MinWoo would always (no matter how tough I was with him) be a cheeky, friendly idiot. He was a tall boy, three years my junior and I would always catch him grinning at me.
“It er…wasn’t that funny, Major…” MinWoo half laughed. “Well well well…we haven’t seen a smile from you in a while. I hardly dare to think that my witty remark could stir such a miracle. What’s goin’ on? Have we won the stalemate?”
I sighed. “No, not exactly. I have to temporarily leave this camp.”
“What? Why?!”
“I’m going to try and sneak into North Korea to rescue some of our POWs. ‘Sneak’ being the operative word…I’m going to get demoted like hell for it, then shot, and shot again, for not getting permission for it.”
“Sounds great!”
“MinWoo you…” I shook my head in tired amusement.
“But Major, why the sudden urge? Is life here too boring for you?”
“Hardly. I quite enjoy hiding behind rocks with my heavy rifle and hoping the communists won’t be smart enough to find me.”
“Was that…”
“Sarcasm? Yes it most certainly was, Sergeant.” Another sigh. “No...a friend of mine, who I owe so much to, was taken to a North Korean POW camp. I intend to rescue him or die trying.”
“You owe him? No offense Major, but it’s hard to think that someone like you could owe anyone anything.”
“Is that a compliment, Sergeant?” I gave a small smile. “I do owe him though. He saved my life.” Not in a physical sense, no. But in an emotional sense he had certainly saved me - before we met I had been drifting but he breathed life back into me and gave me back some meaning.
“Wow... Is there any way I could help out? I’m great at reading maps!”
“And so you are,” I agreed. “But sneaking into a POW camp is unfortunately going to be a little more difficult than reading a map. It’s practically a suicide mission. I must be crazy.”
“Does seem like it, eh Major, MinWoo grinned. “But crazily loyal at the same time. That’s what’s so awesome about you, you don’t just sit back and watch things happened, you get your own ass involved and give it your all. I admire that, Major! I really do…” he glanced down at his feet for a few seconds before staring back at me. “It sounds more interesting than dying out here. I love challenges. Take me along!”
“Sergeant, you’re too young for such a noble sacrifice.”
“Too young? I’m only three years younger. And besides, you’re pretty darn young yourself for a Major!”
“I suppose I am a hypocrite then.”
“Damn straight, Major. But I happen to love hypocrites!”
“Thanks MinWoo…”
I admit I was quite astonished that MinWoo had been so eager to volunteer despite such little information of my situation. I hadn’t realized how respected I was despite my grumpy personality of late. I suppose achieving so much so young had something to do with it. Perhaps my fear and obsession over the lost JaeJoong had truly blinded me from properly seeing the loyalty and admiration of my soldiers.
Two of MinWoo’s friends seemed to share his thirst of adventure…or maybe it was just shared stupidity. I was quite relieved to share the company of MinWoo, Byeong and Jinho though - it meant that I wouldn’t have to use my last resort to help me - Shim Changmin (not that he’d be of much use considering for the past week he had made the medical tent his second home, his burn wounds being nursed from a grenade explosion. Quite a nicely timed hiatus, I had thought rather vindictively).
The rain continued for several days but we were mostly protected by it; driving towards the 38th Parallel in our empty, half broken supply truck.
But as we drove nearer, it became apparent to all of us that we’d have to abandon the truck, maybe hide it somewhere and pray that we could find our way back to it if we needed a fast get away vehicle down the end of the track…if we ever made it that far…
However, we had a problem - a broken supply truck filled with four South Korean soldiers, all armed to the teeth with various weaponry, waltzing into a North Korean camp would be a little…noticeable. Just a little, heh.
We had no other option but to sneak into enemy territory on foot and use the foliage to protect our presence from being easily discovered.
For four long days we hid and slowly made our way deeper into North Korea on foot. Paranoid about being found, I would constantly insist on having the night shift for guarding our little camp. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust my boys…it was just my paranoia took over all other thoughts, that one of them would accidentally fall asleep and get us thrown into captivity as a result.
But after the second night of no sleep…I wondered if I could physically carry on. I convinced the boys that I could, choosing to leave the tiny seeds of doubt to myself. But when the dawn arrived for our third day, I realized that my desperation to find my JaeJoong might not even be enough to overpower my fatigued body.
The boys were all still asleep when I first heard the sound of danger. As I stared through the dense tree cover I could see a group of North Korean soldiers. I counted seven of them and wondered what they were doing in such a small group for. Perhaps there were North Korean troops scattered in random areas to prevent any sneak attacks from our side. Perhaps they were Deserters, sick of endangering their lives for their government’s greedy need to expand their territory and control. But, from observing them a little longer, that didn’t seem too likely - I could hear an officer barking orders around which ruled out my Deserters theory.
To my surprise, I could see a girl amongst them - she looked quite young, even younger than my little sister. I was even more surprised when the man standing in front of her moved aside and her pale flesh was exposed - she was standing completely naked. A North Korean prostitute.
Better make sure that fact stays hidden… I thought, worried that the boys might get a bit excited by the sight.
Carefully creeping over to where the boys lay, I coaxed them into consciousness. “We’ve got company,” I whispered. “Seven of them. So don’t make any sudden movements or noises,” I urged.
I crept back into my hiding spot to continue observing them, my rifle clutched cautiously in my hands.
As it turned out, all day our camps existed side by side without their realization of our existence. I prayed that it would stay that way and that they’d move on - if they were still there tomorrow it would make it a lot harder for us to move away.
As the boys slept away yet another night, I shifted to a more comfortable position on the ground and stared out past the tree tops and onto the many peaceful stars. Who would have thought that the world would be so chaotic with such innocent beauty like their light deceiving our vision?
My eyes fell downward as the sudden noise of leaves crunching filled my hearing. I didn’t dare move as I heard the boots continuing to crush over the dry leaves, unable to see for myself whereabouts they were. I could only hear their close range.
The boots stopped somewhere behind where my little camp was and I lost my breath as the panic of our potential discovery took over.
I could hear some rustling and more leaf crunching and swallowed deeply. It was so close to where I was!
But then my fear evaporated as I head a new sound and realized what was happening. As the soft set of moans grew more consistent, I felt my cheeks shamefully heating up.
Back in my old camp I had certainly been aware of the passing prostitutes relieving my men of their burdens. But never had I had to witness their sex right nearby me! I almost felt like I was intruding on some sacred act and should get up and apologize! But of course I stayed where I was, cheeks continuously red, trying to block out the sound of her delicate mewling.
Soon enough, deeper moans began to harmonize with the prostitute’s pleasure and I could not stop my heart from racing. The deep, vibration from the man’s moans reminded me strongly of how JaeJoong sounded when I was touching him.
To my embarrassment (and alarm!) with every erotic pant and moan my ears detected, my crotch began to burn more wildly.
Please stop! I begged loudly in my mind. How could I get aroused in this place? With so much at stake, so much to lose?
More deep moans…
My mouth went dry as once again all my breath ceased. I tried to think about something else…like how tired I was and how hungry I was but for once my mind disobeyed me completely.
Deep moans…delicate moans…fevered panting….leaves crunching…
I tried mot to gasp out loud as I finally fell for the temptation and felt my arm snap loose and grasp my warm hard-on. I gently kneaded it and rubbed it over the fabric of my pants.
But as the continuous melody of low groaning burned my ear drums, I lost myself completely. A flash of light and then warmth developed me and suddenly I could feel JaeJoong’s heated breath against my neck and tender fingers stroking my sensitive skin which had been deprived of any sexual contact for over a year.
I barely registered my impatient hand slipping desperately under my waistband to grip my erect penis.
I continued to stroke it and massage it as JaeJoong’s pants grew more intense. He was curling upwards, his wet forehead coating my chest with a patch of his warm sweat. His eyes were clamped shut and clenched tightly, his mouth gaping deliciously open as his pleasure-filled moans escaped into the heated atmosphere.
I hurriedly pulled my free hand away from my rifle and shoved my trembling wrist into my mouth to muffle my own sudden need to moan.
My damp fingers danced across the pale, white landscape of his chest until they firmly grasped the side of his ribs. Moving my thumbs upwards I could feel the subtle thickness of his underarm hair and the contrast of the coarse, tiny strands against his slick skin caused another deep moan from me to escape.
I closed my eyes tightly as the wrist muffling my panting began to muffle a new sound - the sound of my sobbing. I knew this wasn’t real. I wasn’t making love with my beloved JaeJoongie… He wasn’t really here, withering under me erotically. I was alone in an alien forest, masturbating next to a pair of North Koreans fucking.
Despite my distressed sobs, my fingers continued to rub my bulging erection as if determined to prove myself wrong about the situation.
The intensity of my own fingers against my cock grew as I fought to bring back the illusions until I started to feel the pain of my nails digging into my vulnerable skin instead of the pleasurable stroking I had started off with. Even now, I was frantically changing every sensation I felt to match JaeJoong - the pain was not caused from my long fingernails cutting into my penis, I told myself, but from JaeJoong biting me passionately. It was JaeJoong, I was not alone. It was JaeJoong….
I bit down harder onto my wrist as I finally felt myself ready to burst. My pre-cum soaked fingers released my erection and flew up to pull down my army pants. I only had one pair; I couldn’t afford to have mysterious stains marring the material!
I collapsed down onto the dirt in front of me, almost in synch with the erotic couple nearby. I tried to silently catch my breath back, my hands clenched tightly into fists, my chin dipped in exhaustion into the puddle of cum underneath me.
Leaves crunched loudly around me but then gradually became softer. But I remained where I was, lying uncomfortably in the dirt, my sweaty chest heaving, my soul undeniable broken.
After a lifetime of minutes passed, I slowly sat back up; tucking my weeping organ back inside my dirt-stained pants and zipped myself back up.
I was glad that the prostitute had left with her man. If she had approached me, I knew that for once in my adult life my vulnerability would have beckoned her into my arms. For so long I had desperately needed the feel of myself inside JaeJoong’s tight, warm body…in those long five minutes I wouldn’t have cared if that tight, warm spot had been a vagina.
But now she was gone and I was glad. She would never have been a good substitute for JaeJoong anyway. JaeJoong was JaeJoong. No body felt as good as his I realized, looking back on my past relationships; nor would ever be in the future.
It was a ridiculous metaphor, but I felt like Cinderella and her glass slipper in that old fairy tale. The shoe had been created only for her and could only ever fit on anyone else’s foot but her own. JaeJoong was that amazing, beautiful, delicate shoe which only I could fit perfectly into. He had been created for me and only me. A million ugly stepsisters could try and slip into that shoe, but they’d all end up disappointed for only I would find success - I was satisfied just knowing that.
Surely we would have had to have met at some point in our life, for how can a princess run without a shoe? I was convinced that we had been subconsciously searching for each other since we were born. And now that we had found each other…I refused to continue breathing without him.
We ended up spending another day hidden - there was no need to risk our exposure to move onwards, because the small North Korean camp which had (unbeknownst to them) almost smashed into us, was finally moving away.
With immense relief I stood up, stretching my aching legs. It was then that my eyes caught movement around ten metres in front of me. It was the prostitute that they had left behind. And she was staring at me in alarm. How careless of me! Could she see my uniform? Could she see I was from South Korea? Would she raise the alert?!
I took a slow step forward, glancing behind me to gesture at MinWoo at the others to stay where they were. As I made my way towards her, she made no move to run away, she just continued to lean against the tree, staring at me.
I tried to ignore my pounding heart as I came face to face with the naked body I had only glimpsed from a distance. I could tell she had been crying and could see why - her bones were barely covered with skin. Her tiny breasts were barely even there whilst her ribs jutted out like a set of sharp knives. I wondered when she had last eaten.
“Annyong…” I softly called. Still she wouldn’t move, her eyes firmly locked onto mine. Taking a deep breath I took off my army jacket. Mistaking my intention, she shrunk back against the tree and whimpered.
“No…” I awkwardly explained, carefully slipping the large jacket over her shoulders and pulling it closed. “I’ve got some food. Do you want to eat?”
She followed me timidly to our hidden spot in the trees. The boys were watching me and shooting baffled glances to one another.
“I’m watching you!” I mumbled to MinWoo. “Don’t you boys dare make a move on her.”
“We’re not idiots!” he hissed back.
I turned back to the prostitute. “Come here, it’s okay.”
Kneeling down I gathered some bread together and placed it into her trembling hands. I could almost hear the conflicts going on in her mind - take the food and trust the South Korean, or distrust the South Korean and run.
Of course she had spent so long without food, with barely enough energy to satisfy men; how could she reject the food I was offering?
Once she had finished eating, I asked her if she knew the location of JaeJoong’s POW camp. I softly promised to give her more food if she could lead us there undiscovered by her nation’s army. She slowly held out her hand for more food and I smiled in relief.
“Thank you!” I breathed, lifting up her hand and kissing the back of her fingers. We were no longer South Korean or North Korean, but two people trying their best to survive.
That night I finally caved in and let Jinho have my nightshift. Feeling relieved that I’d found us a tour guide (so to speak), I slipped into a deep sleep - the first time in four days.
I woke up the next morning, during the most exquisite dream. JaeJoong was with me in my old apartment bedroom. We were lying on my white sheets and I was enjoying the feel of JaeJoong’s head resting under my neck. His fingers were stroking my chest in vertical lines with his eyes closed peacefully.
We both remained that way for a long time, but then he lifted his head up and stared up at me. Without breaking eye contact, he tipped his head downwards and carefully slid his tongue over my exposed nipple.
I choked back a moan, transfixed by his intense stare. I couldn’t look away even when the pleasure of his teeth nipping at my nipple almost blinded me. It felt so good. I didn’t want him to stop. Ever.
Without smiling he crawled forward and sucked my bottom lip. Automatically, I moaned into his mouth and let his tongue play with my own. His kiss was more timid than usual I noticed, and briefly wondered why he was so shy with me when we had already done so much more.
I started to pull away from him to recollect some oxygen, but then realized I was already awake. Slowly opening my eyes in sleepy confusion, I gasped and tried to sit up.
“No no no!” I hurriedly exclaimed in alarm, trying to push the prostitute off me. In the shallow end of my sleep she had somehow crawled on top of me. Her hands remained spread over the skin of my belly underneath my tank top, which she had felt the need to slide upwards. It had been her I’d been kissing, not JaeJoong - a fact I felt both immensely disappointing and disturbing.
“That’s not necessary,” I explained, trying to gently remove her tiny hands from under my shirt. “You don’t need to do that. I don’t mind giving you food.”
She frowned but backed away from me long enough for me to pull my tank top back down. “You’ll show us the POW camp, yes?” I clarified.
She nodded.
“Then you’re already doing plenty for me,” I smiled. “Did you sleep well?”
“Yes, thank you.”
I looked a way for a brief moment and cleared my throat in embarrassment. “Is that a habit of yours?” I asked, curiously.
She looked at me in confusion.
“Do you often try to seduce men in their sleep?”
“No…” she admitted.
“Oh?” My frown faded. “Then why…?”
“Your friend…” she replied. “He told me that you hadn’t received any pleasure for many months.”
“Did he now?” I asked, my face reddening significantly in humiliation. “Tell me, was this friend the really tall one with the acne problem?”
“Yes.”
“Ah.” I smiled awkwardly, grinding my teeth together. MinWoo was going to die.
During breakfast I couldn’t help but notice that MinWoo was unusually happy. It was almost as if he was trying not to smile, but too lazy to actually restrain himself. Gee, wonder why that was the case.
After we finished eating, I dusted off my lap and pulled him aside. “MinWoo…” I began quietly. “What were you thinking?”
“You owe me one, Major” He replied smugly. I wanted to whack him one.
“Owe you for what, huh? The nice nipple service I woke up to this morning?”
“Amongst other things,” he smirked.
“No. Not amongst other things. No things. Nothing! Don’t you dare try that again! You hurt my pride telling strange women that I can’t get laid!”
“You didn’t do anything?!” he stared at me flabbergasted.
“Definitely not. I have restraint and class unlike you.”
“I really don’t understand you, Major…”
“I don’t expect you to,” I sighed, bending down to collect my things for our trip today. “Do me a favour and grow up. Don’t treat her like a prostitute who can only service the men she’s with. Treat her like a person - in case you haven’t noticed, she is one.”
////TBC////
A/N: Yes I know what you're probably thinking: WHAT THE HELL! Why's it taking so long! MAKE HIM FIND JAEJOONG ALREADY!...haha I understand but believe it or not this chapter was kinda important for me.
Apart from showing how SLOWWWW this wait is for Yunho as well, I think it shows an interesting element of their relationship - when you're parted from someone for so long (which you don't know for THAT long) you start to lose contact a bit with your memories...therefore Yunho's strongest memories of JaeJoong are in a sexual element - they were only really together at night time due to the fighting so that's when most of the memories take place. Therefore the intimate memories are the ones he clings to most! Sorry I just thought that was interesting...rather than thinking YUNHO IS ONE HORNY BUGGER! haha.
Plus...I think the prostitute is a very important character for this chapter. I needed a sort of comparison of sorts to see how Yunho would react to more unfortunate/badly mistreated people which most people might react to with digust etc. Also, the whole "she has no energy to satisfy men" is a huge similarity...so I guess you could say that I'm warming Yunho up for the next chapter when he'll get the shock of his life ^^;;;
PLEASE COMMENT!! I love hearing from you guys :D. Plus...as a writer, it's always awesome to hear thoughts and criticisms, right~~. So don't be shy~.
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