The God Within 2/?
Title: The God Within 2/? (formally untitled)
Author: Wildannuette
Fandom: Hercules/Xena
Email:auxilary25248891@aol.com
Rating: FT
Summary: Strifes death is leaving behind some unexpected results for Joxer.
Warnings: mpreg, mentioned character death
Notes:Formally known as Untitled Mpreg, thanks to moved2maryland for the title and to Hallie for betaing and Jo for helping me sort out bits which flowed wrong *hugs to you all!*
Part 2:
Joxer frowned down at his meal; he carefully divided it up keeping all the fish bones on one side before carefully eating the flesh. Fish wasn’t his favorite food but it seemed like it was all they ate whenever the five of them got together which wasn’t very often, usually he found Xena and Gabrielle tolerated his company more then Hercules and Iolaus. Xena was the one who invited him to travel with them though Gabrielle often treated him as a joke. Neither Hercules nor Iolaus were actually rude but Hercules had made it clear that traveling together was a temporary thing and Joxer was starting to get the impression he’d worn out his welcome.
Joxer frowned down at his meal; he carefully divided it up keeping all the fish bones on one side before carefully eating the flesh. Fish wasn’t his favorite food but it seemed like it was all they ate whenever the five of them got together which wasn’t very often, usually he found Xena and Gabrielle tolerated his company more then Hercules and Iolaus. Xena was the one who invited him to travel with them though Gabrielle often treated him as a joke. Neither Hercules nor Iolaus were actually rude but Hercules had made it clear that traveling together was a temporary thing and Joxer was starting to get the impression he’d worn out his welcome.
He was even more inclined to believe it at that moment. Joxer held back a sigh, had he actually wanted to get involved in the quiet fireside discussion he would have felt left out. Xena and Hercules sat opposite him comparing weapons and talking about Ares’ latest plans for them some of which seemed too paranoid and ludicrous for Joxer to believe. Despite his current lack of affection for the God since Strife’s death, he couldn’t quite believe Ares was planning some of the things Hercules was convinced he was involved in.
Joxer was attempting to look immersed in his dinner whilst listening to the conversations around him; unsurprisingly no one noticed that he was listening to them. He’d caught enough comments to know Iolaus was speaking about his side in the battle against Callisto, so he turned away from that conversation and tried to avoid Gabrielle’s various snorts and snide comments. He didn’t know much about it himself but he didn’t want to hear yet again how Strife had had his arse kicked (Iolaus’ words) and been brutally murdered (Joxers words).
Iolaus sat next to Joxer, his back turned towards him as he spoke animatedly to Gabrielle who eagerly scribbled down notes intent on writing the story of Iolaus’ trip back in time. Joxer noticed he left out anything related to Gabrielle’s daughter, Hope, and skirted around the issue easily. He glanced briefly towards Hercules and Xena; the demigods were deep in discussion as Hercules recounted Ares’ latest attack on them.
“So unfortunately I can speak to pigs so I’ve gone off eating them,” Hercules looked slightly embarrassed as Xena sniggered “But at least Discord’s a chicken now.” The hero barely managed to hide a smirk, “unfortunately though something tells me Ares won’t be cooking her up for dinner.”
Xena laughed “Oh I’d love to have been there to see that, I can’t believe Ares made Iolaus and Auto into a monster!” she laughed again. “I can’t believe it, it just doesn’t seem like something he would do, it’s hilarious.”
Joxer smiled slightly; he agreed with Xena, it didn’t seem like something Ares or even Discord would think up, it sounded more like something Strife would have thought up. Though he didn’t dare presume to know how the Gods thought, he could judge from their actions and what he’d been told by Strife. Ares’ plan to get at Hercules was more worthy of Strife then Ares, the whole chaotic event just screamed mischief. His smile turned slightly sad as he thought how his friend would have reveled in the mayhem; had he been around.
He felt bile rise slightly in the back of his throat as his stomach clenched, he forced it back down his throat and inhaled shakily. It was odd that the worst week when he felt life was falling apart would be the week he actually felt the best. He’d woken up every morning feeling terrifically healthy though depressed and had barely tripped over anything all week; in fact Joxer was sure his co-ordination was improving and any bruises he did get for walking into things faded in record time.
His eyes fixed on the flames of the fire and he swallowed hard, ashamed that he had almost enjoyed listening to Hercules chatter especially when it involved the Gods he no longer worshipped or cared for. He clenched his fists slightly; he’d removed himself from his dedication to Ares the night that Strife died. The night he stopped being in awe of the War God and started disregarding him and most of the other Gods.
He still ached to be a hero and to make something of himself, but the feeling was hampered by the deep anger and bitterness that he felt towards the God that he’d once worshipped. Joxer had waited till long after nightfall to light Strife’s funeral Pyre and yet still no other Gods had arrived to claim Strife’s body. He’d even tried praying to ones other then Ares; he tried Discord despite being sure she’d maim him, Cupid and even Aphrodite. No one had come to claim his friend, not his mother or a God whom Joxer believed was his friend’s ex-lover.
*Some family* Joxer thought slightly bitterly as he set his fish bones to one side and drew his knees up to his chin *Being kicked when you’re down isn’t much fun but at least my family paid that bit of attention to me*. Strife hadn’t talked much about his family but Joxer had got the impression, mainly from his comments and defensive humour, that they weren’t the kind of people you turned you back on.
Joxer knew Aphrodite deeply despised Strife, he’d once seen her ignore the other God when face to face and then make derisive comments before she left. He was almost completely sure that the time she'd caught Strife chatting to him under the guise of giving him grief for being Xena's friend was the reason she’d chosen to mess around with his personality and make him feel like a fool, even now he hated the sound of a bell ringing and got a slightly paranoid feeling whenever one did. Strife had shaken off Aphrodite’s words with a nasty comment and a giggle that had had the love Goddess flouncing away in anger, but Joxer had seen an undercurrent of pain underneath it all. He hadn’t pressed Strife on the matter; he may have been a fool at time but he wasn’t suicidal and he wasn’t stupid enough to think his friend was completely on the side of sanity. He knew Strife lived by ‘blast now, think later’ and much as he’d assured Joxer that if that happened he’d get him back from Hades, Joxer wasn’t inclined to risk it. All he’d got were a few murmured explanations of “Cupid, mistake and all hate me,” which didn’t make all that much sense to him.
He hugged himself tighter, unconsciously protecting what remained of Strife. The faintly glowing wall of tissue that now encircled the tiny ball inside him; it still divided as it attached itself to Joxer through thin, wispy tendrils of light.
Joxer stared into the flames and closed his eyes briefly remembering the deep orange glow that had surrounded Strife’s body before it burnt to ashes. He swallowed hard and choked back a sob as he remembered the look of fear on his friends face, Joxer had been sickened by that look and the questions that went with it; why Strife had been killed in the first place, why could anything kill a God and why no one cared.
He bit the inside of his lip; the fact that the first two questions were harder to answer disgusted him, he understood that Strife wasn’t well liked by most mortals and unlike most of the other Gods was only actively worshipped in shrines rather then the large temples. The God of mischief had admitted to him that most of his mischief energy came from young children. In fact, he should have had energy from adult mischief’s like adultery and manipulation, however, Discord considered them her domain and had made sure that from a very young age Strife didn’t get anything she considered her power. As a result very few people actually worshipped him and he had to make his own mischief most of the time or at least actively encourage it.
Joxer closed his eyes again not realizing how long he’d been silent; he kept staring into the flames that hauntingly reminded him of Strife. He still couldn’t believe he’d been the only to actually give a damn about the God, he’d waited as long as possible and then cremated Strife. Joxer knew that once word got round every sales person in Greece and anyone who’d hated him would be after a piece of the fallen God. He didn’t want that happening to his friend even if all that was left of him was a broken empty shell. Joxer had waited till the former God was nothing but ash and the flames had burnt out; he’d scoped up the ashes not caring if they had cooled enough to hold and had put them inside his helmet. Then he’d made the two-day journey to his friends’ nearest shrine and scattered the ashes as he mumbled a prayer for the fallen God.
He’d left his helmet and armor behind at the shrine along with his dedication to Ares, no longer did Joxer consider himself Joxer the mighty wannabe hero trying to impress Ares, now he considered himself just Joxer. He still doubted he could become a hero, at least one in the same league as Hercules or Xena but he’d vowed never to help the Gods not matter how small the problem or how dire. Joxer had to set out for Abdera after he’d made sure Strife’s ashes were scattered and ignored the shrines to Ares along the way. When he’d had come across Iolaus and Hercules a few days later he’d decided to join them and had been slightly more enthusiastic when he’d found out they were meeting Xena and Gabrielle. He’d been forced to listen to Iolaus recount the battles with Callisto until he was ready to throttle the hunter, luckily Hercules had seen the usually eager look in Joxer’s eyes turn to something far less pleasant and he’d hastily stepped in and changed the subject. Joxer winced hearing Gabrielle’s shrill voice cut into his thought; she sounded almost delighted at the mere idea that he theories were true.
“So Gods can die then? I knew it.”
Joxer turned to look at her and frowned as he noticed the smug look on her face “What a surprise when the going gets tough the Gods run off,” she sneered as she looked at Iolaus who (to his credit) looked more then a little annoyed.
“Ares was scared.” Iolaus spoke flatly “I’m not defending him but wouldn’t you be if the situation was reversed? I didn’t even realize anything could kill a God. Didn’t you feel the ground shake where you were? Didn’t you just know something terrible had happened?” He raised his hands and sighed before dropping them to his lap. “Ares wasn’t exactly broken up but he certainly wasn’t happy that she’d killed Strife.”
Joxer noticed both Xena and Hercules now had their full attention on the hunter as he spoke, he could see neither looked upset at the mention of Strife’s death, which he expected both of them having fought him or been a victim of one of his ‘games’, but both did seem troubled by his death.
Gabrielle shook her head at Iolaus a slight patronizing smile on her face as she spoke, “he was probably upset his little lackey wouldn’t be there to do his dirty work for him.”
Joxer held his breath and counted silently to ten as he tried not to lose his temper; she wasn’t saying anything he didn’t believe himself, he figured Ares had only selfish reasons for being upset at Strife’s death. Joxer clenched his fists. The God probably viewed it as a minor irritation and inconvenience that would get him into trouble with Zeus.
“It’s not like Strife ever actually did anything like the other Gods anyway, he didn’t exactly matter did he?” Gabrielle didn’t seem to know where to shut up, even Hercules eyebrows shot up at her next comment, “I mean, God of Mischief? Not exactly a useful one was he?”
Joxer felt his nails dig into his palms as he tried counting again, anger was swelling inside of him at her words. He was fighting to keep his temper at bay. He noticed Iolaus shift slightly to look at him but ignored the frown on his face as he kept counting past thirty. Even Hercules was starting to look disgusted by Gabrielle’s comments.
“I don’t see how anyone could defend any of them but Strife, he was nothing but a jumped up little freak.” Gabrielle sighed unable to see what the problem was; they were down one enemy and severe annoyance. “It’s not like anyone misses him” she added snidely “You said Ares just dumped his body where he was killed; I bet none of them bothered to claim it.”
“Shut up.” Joxer spoke softly as he felt the fury curl into a fist at the bottom of his stomach. The idea of his friend’s body being left till this day with no one but Grave robbers to abuse it sickened him, he was eternally glad he’d given him a Warrior’s funeral and left nothing but ashes. He tried to tune out her voice as the mere mention of Ares infuriated him further, he knew he should be more furious with Discord but he’d always tried to convince himself that Ares cared for Strife in his own way. *I wanted to believe he could actually care for someone other then himself.* He thought, feeling guilty at thinking of his own feelings rather then defending his friend. He locked eyes with Gabrielle and listened to her rant never once breaking eye contact, “I said shut up Gabrielle.”
Iolaus knew when to move and when not too and the look on Joxer’s face told him they’d be fireworks. He quickly got up and moved next to Hercules ignoring the look the demigod gave him; he at least wasn’t going to underestimate Joxer’s temper.
Gabrielle blinked a look of stupidity crossing her face at Joxer’s words. She couldn’t understand why the man who professed to adore and dote on her (often to the point of nausea in her opinion) was being rude to her. She moved closer to him ignoring the warning signs and dug him in the ribs with her elbow.
“Please, you know I’m right” she laughed scornfully something that instantly put Joxer’s back up “If he was that important and they missed him they would have got Hades to bring him back.”
Joxer felt her body next to his and stiffened. Her body was literally throbbing and he could feel her body heat seep through to his making him angrier. He felt the knot of Fury inside him explode and stood up, towering over her and interrupting her mid explanation.
“Don’t ever speak like that about Strife again.” He glowered down at her and she shrunk back slightly seeing the pure ferocity on his face as he spoke; she didn’t even dare open her mouth only squeaked in reply.
“I mean it Gabrielle; you are never ever to talk of him like that again. In fact don’t even mention him at all and never mock him or who he was. He may not have been the best God and done the greatest things or been worshipped far and wide like the others but he was still a God; and my friend.” He kept his voice steady refusing to lower it “If you don’t like any of that, too bad, I won’t sit here and listen to you bad mouth him.”
He was shaking now, barely able to hold on to his rage. Part of him wanted to strike out and he held back never one to deliberately hurt someone, the other part wanted to burst into tears and was rapidly winning.
Ironically Hercules saved the day.
“Just think how many people would miss you if the situation was reversed.” The demigod spoke softly as he glanced from Joxer to Gabrielle “Now think how it must feel to have no one who would. I didn’t like Strife anymore then you Gabrielle but I’ll be the first to admit that his death was wrong.” He locked eyes with Joxer and “I won’t condone anyone who will miss him but I don’t support them either.”
Joxer nodded and swallowed back the tears. He didn’t have the strength to argue anymore and despite Hercules parting shot he was glad the demigod had defended him, and Strife. He noticed Hercules’s eyes on him as the demigod put out the fire, Joxer could clearly read the disappointment in them and he avoided looking at Hercules unable to deal with more confrontation.
Iolaus avoided Joxer’s eyes and lay down silently, though Joxer wasn’t sure if he was annoyed by his revelations he could tell Iolaus was at least uneasy and he guessed that he and Hercules would set off as quickly as possible in the morning. He doubted they would want him to join them and he wasn’t sure he could deal with more grief anyway; despite Hercules word he was sure by the time morning came around he’d be ready to add his own opinion and make his disappointment clear.
“Let’s get some sleep.” Joxer felt Xena's hand squeeze his shoulder and when he glanced into her eyes he saw understanding there. He knew she wouldn’t have agreed with his friendship with the Strife but she didn’t say anything against it and for that he was grateful. He wasn’t sure he could cope with her rejection too.
He watched as she dragged the now spluttering Gabrielle as far away from Joxer as possible and forced her to lie down lying between the two, making it clear to Gabrielle the conversation was over.
Joxer lay down quickly, his legs shaky after the fight. He wrapped his arms around himself and tried to calm himself down. His heart still beat fast and he felt on edgy and wide awake but he hoped that after a nights sleep the next day would be easier to get through. As he lay on his side, he realized one thing; for the first time he’d actually admitted Strife was his friend even at the risk of his loosing his other friends. He swallowed hard and closed his eyes wishing he’d been brave enough to do so when the God was alive.
Invisible to the eyes of Gods and mortals alike the Goddess Asyinnitos watched the mortal known as Joxer as he attempted to sleep. His body was tense from the arguments and the adjustments required to house the zygotic god inside him. She could see that sleep would not be easy. Unable to whisper to the soul inside him which hadn’t awakened yet from its slumber she settled for running a hand over Joxer’s body, using her powers to drain the tension from him taking it into herself.
She watched him tremble slightly under her touch before slipping into a light sleep just outside of Morpheous’ range. The painfully shy Goddess of Pregnancy and the Unborn smiled to herself, happy that Gaia had entrusted her to watch over Joxer and Strife hiding them from the eyes of the other Gods. Asyinnitos was more then just a minor God and often worked with Hera to ensure pregnancies went as smoothly as Fates intended but she was rarely seen on Olympus. If she attended festivals and coronations she always remained in the background and was overlooked. She doubted any of the Gods aside from Hera; her sister and mother could actually recognize her and knew what she did. Most of her time was spent invisible to mortals’ eyes; she would soothe and calm unborn babies, lulling them into sleep and encouraging them to grow and be strong.
Like Strife, she had very few shrines and no temples but gained power through those she watched over. Even though few would know her name their thanks for safe pregnancies fuelled her, she would be a formidable goddess to go up against despite her shyness. Her fierce protectiveness was normally saved only for those she watched over now not only extended to her gestating cousin Strife but to his mortal friend who carried him within.
Asyinnitos smiled slightly as she felt another Goddess flash in behind her, the only other being also charged by Gaia with keeping the two safe. She turned slightly to take the hand of Joxer’s other protector, Adrasteia the Goddess of Divine Retribution, her mother. She placed a kiss on Joxer’s head and pressed her fingers lightly to his belly and murmured “Be safe, little one” before she allowed her mother to flash them away.
Author: Wildannuette
Fandom: Hercules/Xena
Email:auxilary25248891@aol.com
Rating: FT
Summary: Strifes death is leaving behind some unexpected results for Joxer.
Warnings: mpreg, mentioned character death
Notes:Formally known as Untitled Mpreg, thanks to moved2maryland for the title and to Hallie for betaing and Jo for helping me sort out bits which flowed wrong *hugs to you all!*
Part 2:
Joxer frowned down at his meal; he carefully divided it up keeping all the fish bones on one side before carefully eating the flesh. Fish wasn’t his favorite food but it seemed like it was all they ate whenever the five of them got together which wasn’t very often, usually he found Xena and Gabrielle tolerated his company more then Hercules and Iolaus. Xena was the one who invited him to travel with them though Gabrielle often treated him as a joke. Neither Hercules nor Iolaus were actually rude but Hercules had made it clear that traveling together was a temporary thing and Joxer was starting to get the impression he’d worn out his welcome.
Joxer frowned down at his meal; he carefully divided it up keeping all the fish bones on one side before carefully eating the flesh. Fish wasn’t his favorite food but it seemed like it was all they ate whenever the five of them got together which wasn’t very often, usually he found Xena and Gabrielle tolerated his company more then Hercules and Iolaus. Xena was the one who invited him to travel with them though Gabrielle often treated him as a joke. Neither Hercules nor Iolaus were actually rude but Hercules had made it clear that traveling together was a temporary thing and Joxer was starting to get the impression he’d worn out his welcome.
He was even more inclined to believe it at that moment. Joxer held back a sigh, had he actually wanted to get involved in the quiet fireside discussion he would have felt left out. Xena and Hercules sat opposite him comparing weapons and talking about Ares’ latest plans for them some of which seemed too paranoid and ludicrous for Joxer to believe. Despite his current lack of affection for the God since Strife’s death, he couldn’t quite believe Ares was planning some of the things Hercules was convinced he was involved in.
Joxer was attempting to look immersed in his dinner whilst listening to the conversations around him; unsurprisingly no one noticed that he was listening to them. He’d caught enough comments to know Iolaus was speaking about his side in the battle against Callisto, so he turned away from that conversation and tried to avoid Gabrielle’s various snorts and snide comments. He didn’t know much about it himself but he didn’t want to hear yet again how Strife had had his arse kicked (Iolaus’ words) and been brutally murdered (Joxers words).
Iolaus sat next to Joxer, his back turned towards him as he spoke animatedly to Gabrielle who eagerly scribbled down notes intent on writing the story of Iolaus’ trip back in time. Joxer noticed he left out anything related to Gabrielle’s daughter, Hope, and skirted around the issue easily. He glanced briefly towards Hercules and Xena; the demigods were deep in discussion as Hercules recounted Ares’ latest attack on them.
“So unfortunately I can speak to pigs so I’ve gone off eating them,” Hercules looked slightly embarrassed as Xena sniggered “But at least Discord’s a chicken now.” The hero barely managed to hide a smirk, “unfortunately though something tells me Ares won’t be cooking her up for dinner.”
Xena laughed “Oh I’d love to have been there to see that, I can’t believe Ares made Iolaus and Auto into a monster!” she laughed again. “I can’t believe it, it just doesn’t seem like something he would do, it’s hilarious.”
Joxer smiled slightly; he agreed with Xena, it didn’t seem like something Ares or even Discord would think up, it sounded more like something Strife would have thought up. Though he didn’t dare presume to know how the Gods thought, he could judge from their actions and what he’d been told by Strife. Ares’ plan to get at Hercules was more worthy of Strife then Ares, the whole chaotic event just screamed mischief. His smile turned slightly sad as he thought how his friend would have reveled in the mayhem; had he been around.
He felt bile rise slightly in the back of his throat as his stomach clenched, he forced it back down his throat and inhaled shakily. It was odd that the worst week when he felt life was falling apart would be the week he actually felt the best. He’d woken up every morning feeling terrifically healthy though depressed and had barely tripped over anything all week; in fact Joxer was sure his co-ordination was improving and any bruises he did get for walking into things faded in record time.
His eyes fixed on the flames of the fire and he swallowed hard, ashamed that he had almost enjoyed listening to Hercules chatter especially when it involved the Gods he no longer worshipped or cared for. He clenched his fists slightly; he’d removed himself from his dedication to Ares the night that Strife died. The night he stopped being in awe of the War God and started disregarding him and most of the other Gods.
He still ached to be a hero and to make something of himself, but the feeling was hampered by the deep anger and bitterness that he felt towards the God that he’d once worshipped. Joxer had waited till long after nightfall to light Strife’s funeral Pyre and yet still no other Gods had arrived to claim Strife’s body. He’d even tried praying to ones other then Ares; he tried Discord despite being sure she’d maim him, Cupid and even Aphrodite. No one had come to claim his friend, not his mother or a God whom Joxer believed was his friend’s ex-lover.
*Some family* Joxer thought slightly bitterly as he set his fish bones to one side and drew his knees up to his chin *Being kicked when you’re down isn’t much fun but at least my family paid that bit of attention to me*. Strife hadn’t talked much about his family but Joxer had got the impression, mainly from his comments and defensive humour, that they weren’t the kind of people you turned you back on.
Joxer knew Aphrodite deeply despised Strife, he’d once seen her ignore the other God when face to face and then make derisive comments before she left. He was almost completely sure that the time she'd caught Strife chatting to him under the guise of giving him grief for being Xena's friend was the reason she’d chosen to mess around with his personality and make him feel like a fool, even now he hated the sound of a bell ringing and got a slightly paranoid feeling whenever one did. Strife had shaken off Aphrodite’s words with a nasty comment and a giggle that had had the love Goddess flouncing away in anger, but Joxer had seen an undercurrent of pain underneath it all. He hadn’t pressed Strife on the matter; he may have been a fool at time but he wasn’t suicidal and he wasn’t stupid enough to think his friend was completely on the side of sanity. He knew Strife lived by ‘blast now, think later’ and much as he’d assured Joxer that if that happened he’d get him back from Hades, Joxer wasn’t inclined to risk it. All he’d got were a few murmured explanations of “Cupid, mistake and all hate me,” which didn’t make all that much sense to him.
He hugged himself tighter, unconsciously protecting what remained of Strife. The faintly glowing wall of tissue that now encircled the tiny ball inside him; it still divided as it attached itself to Joxer through thin, wispy tendrils of light.
Joxer stared into the flames and closed his eyes briefly remembering the deep orange glow that had surrounded Strife’s body before it burnt to ashes. He swallowed hard and choked back a sob as he remembered the look of fear on his friends face, Joxer had been sickened by that look and the questions that went with it; why Strife had been killed in the first place, why could anything kill a God and why no one cared.
He bit the inside of his lip; the fact that the first two questions were harder to answer disgusted him, he understood that Strife wasn’t well liked by most mortals and unlike most of the other Gods was only actively worshipped in shrines rather then the large temples. The God of mischief had admitted to him that most of his mischief energy came from young children. In fact, he should have had energy from adult mischief’s like adultery and manipulation, however, Discord considered them her domain and had made sure that from a very young age Strife didn’t get anything she considered her power. As a result very few people actually worshipped him and he had to make his own mischief most of the time or at least actively encourage it.
Joxer closed his eyes again not realizing how long he’d been silent; he kept staring into the flames that hauntingly reminded him of Strife. He still couldn’t believe he’d been the only to actually give a damn about the God, he’d waited as long as possible and then cremated Strife. Joxer knew that once word got round every sales person in Greece and anyone who’d hated him would be after a piece of the fallen God. He didn’t want that happening to his friend even if all that was left of him was a broken empty shell. Joxer had waited till the former God was nothing but ash and the flames had burnt out; he’d scoped up the ashes not caring if they had cooled enough to hold and had put them inside his helmet. Then he’d made the two-day journey to his friends’ nearest shrine and scattered the ashes as he mumbled a prayer for the fallen God.
He’d left his helmet and armor behind at the shrine along with his dedication to Ares, no longer did Joxer consider himself Joxer the mighty wannabe hero trying to impress Ares, now he considered himself just Joxer. He still doubted he could become a hero, at least one in the same league as Hercules or Xena but he’d vowed never to help the Gods not matter how small the problem or how dire. Joxer had to set out for Abdera after he’d made sure Strife’s ashes were scattered and ignored the shrines to Ares along the way. When he’d had come across Iolaus and Hercules a few days later he’d decided to join them and had been slightly more enthusiastic when he’d found out they were meeting Xena and Gabrielle. He’d been forced to listen to Iolaus recount the battles with Callisto until he was ready to throttle the hunter, luckily Hercules had seen the usually eager look in Joxer’s eyes turn to something far less pleasant and he’d hastily stepped in and changed the subject. Joxer winced hearing Gabrielle’s shrill voice cut into his thought; she sounded almost delighted at the mere idea that he theories were true.
“So Gods can die then? I knew it.”
Joxer turned to look at her and frowned as he noticed the smug look on her face “What a surprise when the going gets tough the Gods run off,” she sneered as she looked at Iolaus who (to his credit) looked more then a little annoyed.
“Ares was scared.” Iolaus spoke flatly “I’m not defending him but wouldn’t you be if the situation was reversed? I didn’t even realize anything could kill a God. Didn’t you feel the ground shake where you were? Didn’t you just know something terrible had happened?” He raised his hands and sighed before dropping them to his lap. “Ares wasn’t exactly broken up but he certainly wasn’t happy that she’d killed Strife.”
Joxer noticed both Xena and Hercules now had their full attention on the hunter as he spoke, he could see neither looked upset at the mention of Strife’s death, which he expected both of them having fought him or been a victim of one of his ‘games’, but both did seem troubled by his death.
Gabrielle shook her head at Iolaus a slight patronizing smile on her face as she spoke, “he was probably upset his little lackey wouldn’t be there to do his dirty work for him.”
Joxer held his breath and counted silently to ten as he tried not to lose his temper; she wasn’t saying anything he didn’t believe himself, he figured Ares had only selfish reasons for being upset at Strife’s death. Joxer clenched his fists. The God probably viewed it as a minor irritation and inconvenience that would get him into trouble with Zeus.
“It’s not like Strife ever actually did anything like the other Gods anyway, he didn’t exactly matter did he?” Gabrielle didn’t seem to know where to shut up, even Hercules eyebrows shot up at her next comment, “I mean, God of Mischief? Not exactly a useful one was he?”
Joxer felt his nails dig into his palms as he tried counting again, anger was swelling inside of him at her words. He was fighting to keep his temper at bay. He noticed Iolaus shift slightly to look at him but ignored the frown on his face as he kept counting past thirty. Even Hercules was starting to look disgusted by Gabrielle’s comments.
“I don’t see how anyone could defend any of them but Strife, he was nothing but a jumped up little freak.” Gabrielle sighed unable to see what the problem was; they were down one enemy and severe annoyance. “It’s not like anyone misses him” she added snidely “You said Ares just dumped his body where he was killed; I bet none of them bothered to claim it.”
“Shut up.” Joxer spoke softly as he felt the fury curl into a fist at the bottom of his stomach. The idea of his friend’s body being left till this day with no one but Grave robbers to abuse it sickened him, he was eternally glad he’d given him a Warrior’s funeral and left nothing but ashes. He tried to tune out her voice as the mere mention of Ares infuriated him further, he knew he should be more furious with Discord but he’d always tried to convince himself that Ares cared for Strife in his own way. *I wanted to believe he could actually care for someone other then himself.* He thought, feeling guilty at thinking of his own feelings rather then defending his friend. He locked eyes with Gabrielle and listened to her rant never once breaking eye contact, “I said shut up Gabrielle.”
Iolaus knew when to move and when not too and the look on Joxer’s face told him they’d be fireworks. He quickly got up and moved next to Hercules ignoring the look the demigod gave him; he at least wasn’t going to underestimate Joxer’s temper.
Gabrielle blinked a look of stupidity crossing her face at Joxer’s words. She couldn’t understand why the man who professed to adore and dote on her (often to the point of nausea in her opinion) was being rude to her. She moved closer to him ignoring the warning signs and dug him in the ribs with her elbow.
“Please, you know I’m right” she laughed scornfully something that instantly put Joxer’s back up “If he was that important and they missed him they would have got Hades to bring him back.”
Joxer felt her body next to his and stiffened. Her body was literally throbbing and he could feel her body heat seep through to his making him angrier. He felt the knot of Fury inside him explode and stood up, towering over her and interrupting her mid explanation.
“Don’t ever speak like that about Strife again.” He glowered down at her and she shrunk back slightly seeing the pure ferocity on his face as he spoke; she didn’t even dare open her mouth only squeaked in reply.
“I mean it Gabrielle; you are never ever to talk of him like that again. In fact don’t even mention him at all and never mock him or who he was. He may not have been the best God and done the greatest things or been worshipped far and wide like the others but he was still a God; and my friend.” He kept his voice steady refusing to lower it “If you don’t like any of that, too bad, I won’t sit here and listen to you bad mouth him.”
He was shaking now, barely able to hold on to his rage. Part of him wanted to strike out and he held back never one to deliberately hurt someone, the other part wanted to burst into tears and was rapidly winning.
Ironically Hercules saved the day.
“Just think how many people would miss you if the situation was reversed.” The demigod spoke softly as he glanced from Joxer to Gabrielle “Now think how it must feel to have no one who would. I didn’t like Strife anymore then you Gabrielle but I’ll be the first to admit that his death was wrong.” He locked eyes with Joxer and “I won’t condone anyone who will miss him but I don’t support them either.”
Joxer nodded and swallowed back the tears. He didn’t have the strength to argue anymore and despite Hercules parting shot he was glad the demigod had defended him, and Strife. He noticed Hercules’s eyes on him as the demigod put out the fire, Joxer could clearly read the disappointment in them and he avoided looking at Hercules unable to deal with more confrontation.
Iolaus avoided Joxer’s eyes and lay down silently, though Joxer wasn’t sure if he was annoyed by his revelations he could tell Iolaus was at least uneasy and he guessed that he and Hercules would set off as quickly as possible in the morning. He doubted they would want him to join them and he wasn’t sure he could deal with more grief anyway; despite Hercules word he was sure by the time morning came around he’d be ready to add his own opinion and make his disappointment clear.
“Let’s get some sleep.” Joxer felt Xena's hand squeeze his shoulder and when he glanced into her eyes he saw understanding there. He knew she wouldn’t have agreed with his friendship with the Strife but she didn’t say anything against it and for that he was grateful. He wasn’t sure he could cope with her rejection too.
He watched as she dragged the now spluttering Gabrielle as far away from Joxer as possible and forced her to lie down lying between the two, making it clear to Gabrielle the conversation was over.
Joxer lay down quickly, his legs shaky after the fight. He wrapped his arms around himself and tried to calm himself down. His heart still beat fast and he felt on edgy and wide awake but he hoped that after a nights sleep the next day would be easier to get through. As he lay on his side, he realized one thing; for the first time he’d actually admitted Strife was his friend even at the risk of his loosing his other friends. He swallowed hard and closed his eyes wishing he’d been brave enough to do so when the God was alive.
Invisible to the eyes of Gods and mortals alike the Goddess Asyinnitos watched the mortal known as Joxer as he attempted to sleep. His body was tense from the arguments and the adjustments required to house the zygotic god inside him. She could see that sleep would not be easy. Unable to whisper to the soul inside him which hadn’t awakened yet from its slumber she settled for running a hand over Joxer’s body, using her powers to drain the tension from him taking it into herself.
She watched him tremble slightly under her touch before slipping into a light sleep just outside of Morpheous’ range. The painfully shy Goddess of Pregnancy and the Unborn smiled to herself, happy that Gaia had entrusted her to watch over Joxer and Strife hiding them from the eyes of the other Gods. Asyinnitos was more then just a minor God and often worked with Hera to ensure pregnancies went as smoothly as Fates intended but she was rarely seen on Olympus. If she attended festivals and coronations she always remained in the background and was overlooked. She doubted any of the Gods aside from Hera; her sister and mother could actually recognize her and knew what she did. Most of her time was spent invisible to mortals’ eyes; she would soothe and calm unborn babies, lulling them into sleep and encouraging them to grow and be strong.
Like Strife, she had very few shrines and no temples but gained power through those she watched over. Even though few would know her name their thanks for safe pregnancies fuelled her, she would be a formidable goddess to go up against despite her shyness. Her fierce protectiveness was normally saved only for those she watched over now not only extended to her gestating cousin Strife but to his mortal friend who carried him within.
Asyinnitos smiled slightly as she felt another Goddess flash in behind her, the only other being also charged by Gaia with keeping the two safe. She turned slightly to take the hand of Joxer’s other protector, Adrasteia the Goddess of Divine Retribution, her mother. She placed a kiss on Joxer’s head and pressed her fingers lightly to his belly and murmured “Be safe, little one” before she allowed her mother to flash them away.