(no subject)
THE OUTLAND
Genre: AU
Rating: NC-17 for m/m sex and language
Feedback: Any and all is welcome
Disclaimer: These are Annie Proulx's brilliant original characters and her story, and I have treated it and them (and her) with as much respect as I can muster.
This story is for Canstandit, with thanks for her ongoing support and help.
THE OUTLAND, CHAPTER 12
Supper over and another day's work behind them, Jack and Ennis bade the old couple goodnight and stepped out into the solitude of their own little world.
"Ennis," said Jack in a passable imitation of his mother's quiet, guarded voice, "you make the best beef stew I have ever tasted." He took advantage of the darkness to give Ennis's flanks a two-handed tickle. "You'll make someone a real good wife some day."
"Fuck off."
"Just a joke."
"Ain't funny."
"So how was the rest a your day before you started cookin up a storm in Mama's kitchen?"
"Don't wanta talk about it."
"You, uh ...?" Jack patted Ennis's rump, about the same place where he himself was already sporting a needle-mark.
"Yeah."
"Well, that's good. Bet it weren't as bad as you figured it was goin a be."
"Don't wanta talk about it."
"Just a goddamn jab. The doctor say much to you?"
"I don't wanta---"
"All right, fercrissakes! I was just askin. Pardon me for carin about you, about us."
They continued in silence past the vegetable garden and the henhouse, past the root cellar and orchard, then the faintest of sheepish murmurs floated out of Ennis.
"He checked m'prostate."
"Oh. Oh, I see." Thank Christ it's dark, thought Jack, pressing his mouth shut as hard as he could. The laugh erupted through his nose instead.
"It ain't funny! Most embarrassin thing I ever done! Jesus! A guy lookin at my dick, stickin his fingers up my ass! Shit! Ain't never doin that again!"
Jack brought his giggles under some control. "Well, at least you didn't come. Now that is embarrassin!" A pause; an excruciating silence. He could almost feel the heat radiating off Ennis's face. "You didn't! Shit no, you did!"
He couldn't hold it in any longer. Helpless with laughter, he leaned against the trailer, couldn't resist when Ennis towed him bodily around the corner, away from the house.
"You fuckin shut up, you hear?"
And Jack found himself hoisted up by the thighs and slammed against the metal wall, silenced by a mouth-numbing kiss that was more punishment than pleasure, and Ennis's insistent, grinding thrusts had them both hard within seconds. Grunt met moan, teeth clashed, lips bruised. Crushed between the trailer and a solid, driving mass of mortified manhood, Jack could barely breath. He grabbed two good handfuls of Ennis's hair and pulled back.
"Gimme air!"
"Give you what for," came a growl in return as Ennis's hips continued their relentless attack until, with a drawn-out, shuddering groan, he sagged forward, his forehead resting against the trailer wall, his hands still under Jack's ass, and Jack still clinging to him like a baby opossum, sucking in shaky breaths.
"Jesus H! These jeans ain't goin down to Mama for washin."
The main shopping strip of Casper had a Saturday morning buzz to it. Ennis slid down low on the passenger seat of the bronze truck, pulled his hat way down over his eyes and tried to distract himself by surreptitiously watching the native Casperites going about their business. There were thoughts in his head that he really didn't want to tackle at that very moment. Looking totally out of place on the seat beside him were two small parcels, wrapped in pink and silver tissue and bound around by masses of curly ribbon. He gently touched his fingertips to the bows and ringlets and hoped the contents would be suited to their purpose. If they weren't it wouldn't be through any fault of Jack's; in the crammed gift shop, redolent of soaps and incense and candles, he'd targeted the older woman and turned on the full Newsome Farm Equipment charm.
Now, ma'am, my friend here's the proud daddy of the two prettiest young women in Wyomin, and it's their birthdays comin up and he wants ta get em somethin as pretty as they are, but he ain't made a money so he needs a little help findin just the perfect gifts. Me, I only got a boy, and my wife says I don't know nothin about choosin jewelry - he'd kept a glove on his denuded left hand, Ennis noted with wry amusement - but a lady like yourself with fine good taste, judgin by what I'm seeing, should be able to guide him right. I see you got some earrings there, how about we start with them? The shop owner had given Jack her most winsome smile then begun showing Ennis the wares she actually had on sale. Between the three of them, they'd agreed on two polished stone necklaces, rich reds for Francie and soft blues for Junior, and matching earrings. And some a that fancy wrappin with the bows and everthin'll just finish it off so well, Jack had ensured before departing, leaving Ennis to settle up.
And now he sat in the truck, wondering what his girls would make of their dad's sudden gesture. Ain't like I never wanted to buy you pretty things, just never had the money, and wouldn't a knowed what to get anyway. And truth to tell, he wouldn't have even known where to start. He was reaching for a smoke when the driver's door swung open and Jack climbed in.
"Sorry, got talkin to some customers in the crafts shop. Them women can talk a blue streak." He threw a couple of glossy pamphlets on the dash, along with a sheet of paper with what appeared to be addresses and phone numbers. "Some good leads there. I'll get onto em next week. What's that look for? Worried they won't like the necklaces?"
"Just remembered last year, givin the girls' cards to Bill. I been at Lightnin Flat a whole year now. Feels like I always been there."
"A year," breathed Jack, "fuck, a whole year livin with you."
"But you wasn't awake for some a the time, bud."
"I knew you was there, even them times when I couldn't hear nothin I always knew deep inside, knew you'd be there if I could just damn well wake up."
"Was me that needed wakin up."
"Yeah, Ennis Van Winkle. Took you long enough."
They pulled out into the light traffic and proceeded a few hundred yards up the street and into a minor jam. A red-faced man was attempting to back a station wagon and an oversized trailer into the hardware store yard, blocking traffic in both directions. Jack sat back, fingers rippling out a beat on the wheel, then let out a low whistle. "Wouldya look at that!"
"What's the matter, bud?"
"You see the Chevy?" He pointed at a near-new firetruck red pickup inside the yard.
"Yeah."
"See the guy loadin up?"
The guy, Ennis observed, was about twenty, tall and well-muscled, hefting cement bags onto the tray. He disappeared back into the store and emerged with a roll of reinforcing steel under one arm and some short planks of wood under the other. After they'd been stowed, he shut the tailgate then leaned forward, elbows on the back, to watch the fishtailing progress of the reversing vehicles. All this time Jack said nothing else.
"We goin a sit here watchin some hand all day?"
"Look at that ass. Ain't that a pretty ass?"
"Only ass I'm thinking on is mine. Still damn well hurtin from that jab yesterday."
Jack chuckled. "Drop your jeans, I'll kiss it better and more besides. Promise I'll do it tonight, and you can do the same to mine." The jam cleared and he took off, passing that splendid twenty-year-old ass without further comment.
They headed west, Jack chattering about the women he'd met in the craft shop, the way the high, thin cloud was dispersing in the day's rising warmth, the stupidity of his fellow motorists, and pretending to be unaware of his companion's lack of conversation. There were two things weighing on Ennis's mind: the second relied on the existence of the first, the first relied on the amount of courage Ennis could summon, and the question of that courage lay between Jack and him, as glaringly obviously as the bright gift boxes and the empty air that surrounded Jack's chatter. They both knew he had just a couple of hours to find - or fail to find - the necessary bravery.
Over to the south a low range of hills broke the horizon. "Hey, there's the Rattlesnakes," said Jack, ending an overlong silence. "Member that time we damn near lost your truck when the road gave way? We ain't been fishin since the Hail Strew. One day we gotta get some time away."
Ennis roused himself. "You said you wanted to go back to---" deep breath but his voice came out clear and strong, "---Brokeback."
"Yeah, I did," said Jack softly. "Still do, but it's funny, don't seem so important now." He squeezed Ennis's thigh and smiled. "Gotta get me a new harmonica first."
"Shit, no."
Further on, they passed a road heading north, one that had once been well known to Ennis.
"You ever been up ta Lost Cabin?"
"Nah. Heard about it. Ain't there some big, fancy house there? Somethin?"
"Yeah, first place to get the power on or somethin like that. Me'n Alma went there once, early on, before Junior come along. Use ta work north a there, the old Elwood Hi-Top, afore we moved to Riverton."
"Uh-huh. Ennis, gotta ask you somethin. You and her, were you ever happy?"
"Yeah, sure, wasn't unhappy."
"Ain't the same thing."
"We had some good times, 'specially when Junior was born." He gazed off in the direction of the Hi-Top, remembering again the thrill of holding his newborn baby in his arms, and the other, unbidden emotion that had surged up, I should a never let you outta my sights. He sighed. "Yeah, we was happy, for a while."
Woulda been happier with me, thought Jack, and as if he had read the thought, Ennis suddenly added fiercely, "I love my girls."
"Course you do, course you do," Jack nodded, and let the matter drop.
They parked in the heart of downtown Riverton, such as it was, near a shady little square already gathering the first of the autumn leaves in its corners. Jack climbed out and Ennis slid behind the wheel. For a second or two they both held their breaths then the words slipped out of Ennis's mouth smooth as cream, even though he had reached no conscious decision.
"About twenty, twenty-five minutes, okay?"
Jack's smile said it all. "Yeah, twenty-five. I'll be waitin." His voice had a tiny tremor to it, as if he were driving over a washboard road. He watched the truck all the way down to the corner before turning away. The smile stayed with him.
It took precisely twenty-three minutes and fifteen seconds by Jack's heavy watch, and it took all his concentration not to sprint out of the craft shop and fling himself bodily at Ennis as he got out of the truck. From the other side emerged a skinny girl with a grin from ear to ear.
"Francie, I'd like you to meet my ... friend, Jack. Jack, this here's my baby girl, Francine." You two have met before, darlin. Maybe you don't remember but I bet your sister does. I hope to god this don't all blow up in my face.
"Hi, Jack. You're Daddy's boss, right?" Look like you're ready to jump outta your skin. Nice smile. Bet those teeth cost a few bucks.
"Howdy, Francine. Heard a lot about you." We've met before, sweetheart. You may not recall but I bet your sister will. "Your daddy's so proud a you two girls. Speakin a which---?"
"We gotta pick her up," Ennis muttered, "from her boyfriend's place." He said the word as though a rat had climbed inside his mouth and died. As they turned back to the truck he caught the slight awkwardness in his daughter's body and knew the second weighty matter was about to sort itself out with no help from him.
"Uh, Jack, seein as I know the way and I got my license now---"
"Sure you can, sweetheart. Give yer girl the keys, Ennis,"
Ennis winced but did as he was told, and with very little trouble they soon found themselves out at the boyfriend's house, a large, shabby, clapboard place that said "Bachelor Pad" plain as day with its collection of cars, whole and in pieces, a ragged front lawn, and a bursting trashcan. The two people sitting in the shade of the porch stood up and crossed the road to meet them - Junior and Kurt, Junior tall like her father and with the same timid smile that hit Jack in the heart every time. From under his hat Ennis scowled at Kurt, getting his measure; what advantage Ennis had in inches he lost in weight. Introductions were made, handshakes, nods and hugs dished out as appropriate.
"Hi, Jack," said Junior in her shy way. I remember you. Yes, I remember you.
"Please ta meet you, Alma." Oh yes, you remember me, I can see it in your eyes. You got his eyes, too, kinda hidden from the world, but I know him and I know you. But I bet you don't recall that day like I do, fuckin bled a trail ever goddamn mile back south. I hope you don't never feel as bad as me, darlin. If this Kurt ever makes you feel that way, I'll kill him myself, 'cause no-one should ever suffer that bad.
Kurt was explaining to Ennis how he shared the house with other oil-workers, how he did ten days on, ten days off, down near Lander, but the boys were nice fellers, good god-fearing boys, sir, no worries about your daughter being around them, but there never seemed to be enough time to tidy things up, sir, yep, it did look a bit unsightly with them cars, good to meet you, sir, better get back and do some work. As he bent down to give Junior a quick kiss, there in the middle of the street, in plain view of the neighbours, Ennis and Jack discreetly turned their backs. If only ... Then with Francie at the helm, they headed to find some economy al fresco dining, Riverton style, Jack having insisted he'd pick up the tab.
They found a cheap and cheerful family restaurant with outdoor seating, ordered meals in modest del Mar fashion, despite Jack's offer, and soaked up the last of the year's warmth. Jack and Francie proved to be a perfect pair, talking enough for eight, although much of their conversation was eminently forgettable. He could mouth platitudes and crack jokes in his sleep; she wanted to know all about the ranch, where it was, what they ran, was her daddy like a top hand?
"Hell no, beg your pardon. Your daddy practically runs the place. I just do what I'm told, ain't that right, Ennis? My daddy thinks the sun shines outta--- uh, he thinks Ennis is pretty damn good. Anyway, we're thinkin a branchin out into colored sheep, just runnin a little flock. Why I'm here, checkin out the vi-a-bil-ity." He said the word slowly, sweetened by a Texan drawl. Junior frowned. Then he entertained them all with impersonations of the women he'd spoken to in Casper and Riverton: You're planning on raising colored sheep? How wonderful! Can't get enough of that lovely wool! Why, I knitted a jumper for my Theodore and one for Aunt Daisy, she's my aunt on my father's side--- practically gave me the family history back to the Garden of Eden.
"Mama likes to knit," said Francie, "she'd be interested in what you're planning."
Junior's brows met again. "I don't think Mama wants to know what Daddy's doin, Francie. Best not to say anything."
All four concentrated on the food for a while to cover the sudden frisson of discomfort, but out of the corner of her eye, Junior was watching Jack.
"Why'd you move back to Wyoming?"
"Didn't your daddy tell you? I had a bad accident, came home to convalesce, remembered how much I liked it here and decided to stay."
"But don't you have a son? Daddy, didn't you say once ---?"
Jack and Ennis were exchanging unsure glances; instinctively, Jack turned his left hand so that the pale strip of skin was hidden. "Yeah, I do. My boy's about Francie's age. He stayed with his mama down in Texas and comes to visit when he can. But what's this I hear about you and that young man a yours?" And he adroitly sailed the talk onto another tack.
When the first round of coffees and sodas had been downed and the hamburger and roast beef mostly eaten, Ennis cleared his throat. "Got you girls somethin for your birthdays." From deep in his coat pockets he pulled out the two presents, their bows a little flattened but still presentable. "Francie, happy eighteenth," he kissed her cheek and rubbed the nape of her neck with his workworn, gentle hand, "and Junior, happy twentieth," and a kiss for her too. Jack's eyes got a little bit blurry as he watched the awkward gestures of love. "Hope you like em, darlins."
The exclamations of delight as they opened their presents, and the tight embraces which followed set Ennis's mind at rest. Over his girls' heads he gave Jack a grateful smile and got a solemn wink in reply. Jack deemed it a suitable moment to go inside and order more drinks, and ice cream sundaes for the girls. Three sets of eyes followed his progress.
"Does he walk funny because of his accident?"
"A bit, darlin, but mostly cause he use ta rodeo, was startin to get busted up even afore I met him."
"He seems real nice."
"That's cause he let you drive the truck." Ennis ruffled his daughter's hair and grinned at her.
"He makes you happy," Junior said softly, as if the words had slipped away from a longer train of thought.
"He's my friend, darlin. Ain't friends suppose ta make you happy?" He tried not to let the inside smile spread too far across his face, but sometimes those feelings for Jack rose up like the geysers in Yellowstone.
From the shelter of the restaurant Jack took the opportunity to observe the three del Mars. A quiet happiness surrounded the little group. Jack wondered what they were discussing, but had a good idea he was part of it, judging by the occasional glances his way. When Ennis raised his head and smiled at his girls, Jack had to quickly sit down before his legs betrayed him, thanking whatever gods there might be for giving him a second shot at life and the chance to see that smile shine on him too.
"Said your order's ready!"
"Oh, sorry, didn't hear you." He shook himself back into shape, picked up the waiting tray and headed back into the autumn sunshine.
There didn't seem to be any easy way to stop Francie driving right up to the Monroe house, and to his surprise, Ennis found that he wasn't all that concerned, although his eyes flicked around a time or two, making sure no neighbor was watching. Ennis and the girls said their farewells on the pavement, then as Junior and Francie crossed to their house the front door opened wide and there was Alma, stretched up to her full height, chin raised defiantly. Still inside the cab, Jack touched the brim of his hat and held her gaze, his face an impassive mask. They regarded each other across a narrow strip of road and an unbridgable gap of understanding, until Ennis got behind the wheel, shoving Jack aside.
"Come on, bud, let's go." His hands were shaking. Jack waited until they were well clear of the Monroe place before he spoke.
"So now she knows for sure."
"Mmmm."
"It don't bother you none?"
"She always did know."
"But not that you and me were up at Lightnin Flat together."
"Maybe she did. She made Junior give her the phone number. Poor kid was real embarrassed about tellin me, thought her mama might be trouble."
"She's no fool, that daughter a yours."
"She's a good girl. They both are. And they like you."
"Good taste."
Jack's hand crept along the seat, looking for a haven in Ennis's crotch but it was slapped back. Ennis frowned and shook his head. "Not now. Bad enough drivin through Riverton together, without you doin that stuff."
"Look, we're just two guys in a truck. They can't tell nothin from that. Hell, if ever time two men were seen together it meant they was queer, well, the world'd be a better place. Look over there near that garage, there's three guys talkin. Three! What could they be doin later on! Three of em. Boy, what I wouldn't give to have two a you to play with. Two Ennis del Mars, think I'd die from pleasure."
"You're a fool, Jack."
"Yeah, and you got a overworked imagination. Now just relax and concentrate on gettin us outta here in one piece."
A last smudge of sunset shining through the rear window was gilding Ennis's hair. Jack reached out and stirred the shaggy locks that curled around his ear and this time Ennis allowed the touch, leaned his head over and rubbed against Jack's hand like a big old hungry tomcat.
"Good day."
"Yeah, it was, real good."
"Thanks, friend."
"What for?" said Ennis, though he half-knew the answer, just didn't want to dwell on how much it had meant to Jack.
"For lettin me ... for ... shit, I dunno, for makin me a part a your family." A tiny hitch caught his throat on the last word, and the dashboard lights caught the glint of a tear.
"Couldn't leave you rattlin round Riverton all on your lonesome. You'd a got in all sorts a strife, knowing you, Jack Twist."
"Could a come without me."
"Ain't lettin you outta my sights, bud, not no more."
"Even if it means we're seen together?"
"Guess so."
"Not sure?"
Ennis sighed. "I don't know what I'd do if I lost my girls, you know?"
"Tell you what, I seen the way them girls look at you. Don't matter what they find out, they're goin a love you."
"Just hope you're right." As if the day's tension was finally losing its iron grip on him, Ennis let out a huge yawn and stretched to fill the cab, steering with his knees for a few wobbly seconds.
"Lemme drive home. You're lookin sleepy."
Away in the distance, the lights of an approaching vehicle were just visible in the rear view mirror. "Soon, bud. I'm okay a while longer."
They switched places at Casper, and as the night cloaked them in its safety, Ennis curled up with his head in Jack's lap and almost purred as he felt his hair being stroked and smoothed again. His eyes had closed and his mind was drifting into happy reveries of the day just past when Jack's voice brought him back with a jolt.
"Wonder where that fine-assed boy is now. Maybe got some big, thick, juicy dick up him already."
"Prob'ly at the movies with his girlfriend. Whole world ain't ... ain't that way, Jack."
"Pity," said Jack cheerfully, choosing to ignore the hesitancy in Ennis's voice, "I coulda jumped you right there on Aguirre's desk, saved a lotta time. But I guess you're right. He'll be at the movies with his girl --- and wonderin what it'd be like to have a great big, fat, juicy---"
"Shut the fuck up. I'm goin a sleep."
"You do that, darlin. Sweet dreams."
Maybe the Devil was in need of a vacation that night and Jack Twist looked to be an interesting host, but by the time the truck turned into the gate at Lightning Flat, he'd well and truly taken up residence. A day or two later, when Ennis was otherwise engaged, Jack made a phone call. There was a lot of laughter at both ends of the line, and for some time afterwards Jack wore a permanent and utterly annoying smirk.
tbc
Genre: AU
Rating: NC-17 for m/m sex and language
Feedback: Any and all is welcome
Disclaimer: These are Annie Proulx's brilliant original characters and her story, and I have treated it and them (and her) with as much respect as I can muster.
This story is for Canstandit, with thanks for her ongoing support and help.
THE OUTLAND, CHAPTER 12
Supper over and another day's work behind them, Jack and Ennis bade the old couple goodnight and stepped out into the solitude of their own little world.
"Ennis," said Jack in a passable imitation of his mother's quiet, guarded voice, "you make the best beef stew I have ever tasted." He took advantage of the darkness to give Ennis's flanks a two-handed tickle. "You'll make someone a real good wife some day."
"Fuck off."
"Just a joke."
"Ain't funny."
"So how was the rest a your day before you started cookin up a storm in Mama's kitchen?"
"Don't wanta talk about it."
"You, uh ...?" Jack patted Ennis's rump, about the same place where he himself was already sporting a needle-mark.
"Yeah."
"Well, that's good. Bet it weren't as bad as you figured it was goin a be."
"Don't wanta talk about it."
"Just a goddamn jab. The doctor say much to you?"
"I don't wanta---"
"All right, fercrissakes! I was just askin. Pardon me for carin about you, about us."
They continued in silence past the vegetable garden and the henhouse, past the root cellar and orchard, then the faintest of sheepish murmurs floated out of Ennis.
"He checked m'prostate."
"Oh. Oh, I see." Thank Christ it's dark, thought Jack, pressing his mouth shut as hard as he could. The laugh erupted through his nose instead.
"It ain't funny! Most embarrassin thing I ever done! Jesus! A guy lookin at my dick, stickin his fingers up my ass! Shit! Ain't never doin that again!"
Jack brought his giggles under some control. "Well, at least you didn't come. Now that is embarrassin!" A pause; an excruciating silence. He could almost feel the heat radiating off Ennis's face. "You didn't! Shit no, you did!"
He couldn't hold it in any longer. Helpless with laughter, he leaned against the trailer, couldn't resist when Ennis towed him bodily around the corner, away from the house.
"You fuckin shut up, you hear?"
And Jack found himself hoisted up by the thighs and slammed against the metal wall, silenced by a mouth-numbing kiss that was more punishment than pleasure, and Ennis's insistent, grinding thrusts had them both hard within seconds. Grunt met moan, teeth clashed, lips bruised. Crushed between the trailer and a solid, driving mass of mortified manhood, Jack could barely breath. He grabbed two good handfuls of Ennis's hair and pulled back.
"Gimme air!"
"Give you what for," came a growl in return as Ennis's hips continued their relentless attack until, with a drawn-out, shuddering groan, he sagged forward, his forehead resting against the trailer wall, his hands still under Jack's ass, and Jack still clinging to him like a baby opossum, sucking in shaky breaths.
"Jesus H! These jeans ain't goin down to Mama for washin."
The main shopping strip of Casper had a Saturday morning buzz to it. Ennis slid down low on the passenger seat of the bronze truck, pulled his hat way down over his eyes and tried to distract himself by surreptitiously watching the native Casperites going about their business. There were thoughts in his head that he really didn't want to tackle at that very moment. Looking totally out of place on the seat beside him were two small parcels, wrapped in pink and silver tissue and bound around by masses of curly ribbon. He gently touched his fingertips to the bows and ringlets and hoped the contents would be suited to their purpose. If they weren't it wouldn't be through any fault of Jack's; in the crammed gift shop, redolent of soaps and incense and candles, he'd targeted the older woman and turned on the full Newsome Farm Equipment charm.
Now, ma'am, my friend here's the proud daddy of the two prettiest young women in Wyomin, and it's their birthdays comin up and he wants ta get em somethin as pretty as they are, but he ain't made a money so he needs a little help findin just the perfect gifts. Me, I only got a boy, and my wife says I don't know nothin about choosin jewelry - he'd kept a glove on his denuded left hand, Ennis noted with wry amusement - but a lady like yourself with fine good taste, judgin by what I'm seeing, should be able to guide him right. I see you got some earrings there, how about we start with them? The shop owner had given Jack her most winsome smile then begun showing Ennis the wares she actually had on sale. Between the three of them, they'd agreed on two polished stone necklaces, rich reds for Francie and soft blues for Junior, and matching earrings. And some a that fancy wrappin with the bows and everthin'll just finish it off so well, Jack had ensured before departing, leaving Ennis to settle up.
And now he sat in the truck, wondering what his girls would make of their dad's sudden gesture. Ain't like I never wanted to buy you pretty things, just never had the money, and wouldn't a knowed what to get anyway. And truth to tell, he wouldn't have even known where to start. He was reaching for a smoke when the driver's door swung open and Jack climbed in.
"Sorry, got talkin to some customers in the crafts shop. Them women can talk a blue streak." He threw a couple of glossy pamphlets on the dash, along with a sheet of paper with what appeared to be addresses and phone numbers. "Some good leads there. I'll get onto em next week. What's that look for? Worried they won't like the necklaces?"
"Just remembered last year, givin the girls' cards to Bill. I been at Lightnin Flat a whole year now. Feels like I always been there."
"A year," breathed Jack, "fuck, a whole year livin with you."
"But you wasn't awake for some a the time, bud."
"I knew you was there, even them times when I couldn't hear nothin I always knew deep inside, knew you'd be there if I could just damn well wake up."
"Was me that needed wakin up."
"Yeah, Ennis Van Winkle. Took you long enough."
They pulled out into the light traffic and proceeded a few hundred yards up the street and into a minor jam. A red-faced man was attempting to back a station wagon and an oversized trailer into the hardware store yard, blocking traffic in both directions. Jack sat back, fingers rippling out a beat on the wheel, then let out a low whistle. "Wouldya look at that!"
"What's the matter, bud?"
"You see the Chevy?" He pointed at a near-new firetruck red pickup inside the yard.
"Yeah."
"See the guy loadin up?"
The guy, Ennis observed, was about twenty, tall and well-muscled, hefting cement bags onto the tray. He disappeared back into the store and emerged with a roll of reinforcing steel under one arm and some short planks of wood under the other. After they'd been stowed, he shut the tailgate then leaned forward, elbows on the back, to watch the fishtailing progress of the reversing vehicles. All this time Jack said nothing else.
"We goin a sit here watchin some hand all day?"
"Look at that ass. Ain't that a pretty ass?"
"Only ass I'm thinking on is mine. Still damn well hurtin from that jab yesterday."
Jack chuckled. "Drop your jeans, I'll kiss it better and more besides. Promise I'll do it tonight, and you can do the same to mine." The jam cleared and he took off, passing that splendid twenty-year-old ass without further comment.
They headed west, Jack chattering about the women he'd met in the craft shop, the way the high, thin cloud was dispersing in the day's rising warmth, the stupidity of his fellow motorists, and pretending to be unaware of his companion's lack of conversation. There were two things weighing on Ennis's mind: the second relied on the existence of the first, the first relied on the amount of courage Ennis could summon, and the question of that courage lay between Jack and him, as glaringly obviously as the bright gift boxes and the empty air that surrounded Jack's chatter. They both knew he had just a couple of hours to find - or fail to find - the necessary bravery.
Over to the south a low range of hills broke the horizon. "Hey, there's the Rattlesnakes," said Jack, ending an overlong silence. "Member that time we damn near lost your truck when the road gave way? We ain't been fishin since the Hail Strew. One day we gotta get some time away."
Ennis roused himself. "You said you wanted to go back to---" deep breath but his voice came out clear and strong, "---Brokeback."
"Yeah, I did," said Jack softly. "Still do, but it's funny, don't seem so important now." He squeezed Ennis's thigh and smiled. "Gotta get me a new harmonica first."
"Shit, no."
Further on, they passed a road heading north, one that had once been well known to Ennis.
"You ever been up ta Lost Cabin?"
"Nah. Heard about it. Ain't there some big, fancy house there? Somethin?"
"Yeah, first place to get the power on or somethin like that. Me'n Alma went there once, early on, before Junior come along. Use ta work north a there, the old Elwood Hi-Top, afore we moved to Riverton."
"Uh-huh. Ennis, gotta ask you somethin. You and her, were you ever happy?"
"Yeah, sure, wasn't unhappy."
"Ain't the same thing."
"We had some good times, 'specially when Junior was born." He gazed off in the direction of the Hi-Top, remembering again the thrill of holding his newborn baby in his arms, and the other, unbidden emotion that had surged up, I should a never let you outta my sights. He sighed. "Yeah, we was happy, for a while."
Woulda been happier with me, thought Jack, and as if he had read the thought, Ennis suddenly added fiercely, "I love my girls."
"Course you do, course you do," Jack nodded, and let the matter drop.
They parked in the heart of downtown Riverton, such as it was, near a shady little square already gathering the first of the autumn leaves in its corners. Jack climbed out and Ennis slid behind the wheel. For a second or two they both held their breaths then the words slipped out of Ennis's mouth smooth as cream, even though he had reached no conscious decision.
"About twenty, twenty-five minutes, okay?"
Jack's smile said it all. "Yeah, twenty-five. I'll be waitin." His voice had a tiny tremor to it, as if he were driving over a washboard road. He watched the truck all the way down to the corner before turning away. The smile stayed with him.
It took precisely twenty-three minutes and fifteen seconds by Jack's heavy watch, and it took all his concentration not to sprint out of the craft shop and fling himself bodily at Ennis as he got out of the truck. From the other side emerged a skinny girl with a grin from ear to ear.
"Francie, I'd like you to meet my ... friend, Jack. Jack, this here's my baby girl, Francine." You two have met before, darlin. Maybe you don't remember but I bet your sister does. I hope to god this don't all blow up in my face.
"Hi, Jack. You're Daddy's boss, right?" Look like you're ready to jump outta your skin. Nice smile. Bet those teeth cost a few bucks.
"Howdy, Francine. Heard a lot about you." We've met before, sweetheart. You may not recall but I bet your sister will. "Your daddy's so proud a you two girls. Speakin a which---?"
"We gotta pick her up," Ennis muttered, "from her boyfriend's place." He said the word as though a rat had climbed inside his mouth and died. As they turned back to the truck he caught the slight awkwardness in his daughter's body and knew the second weighty matter was about to sort itself out with no help from him.
"Uh, Jack, seein as I know the way and I got my license now---"
"Sure you can, sweetheart. Give yer girl the keys, Ennis,"
Ennis winced but did as he was told, and with very little trouble they soon found themselves out at the boyfriend's house, a large, shabby, clapboard place that said "Bachelor Pad" plain as day with its collection of cars, whole and in pieces, a ragged front lawn, and a bursting trashcan. The two people sitting in the shade of the porch stood up and crossed the road to meet them - Junior and Kurt, Junior tall like her father and with the same timid smile that hit Jack in the heart every time. From under his hat Ennis scowled at Kurt, getting his measure; what advantage Ennis had in inches he lost in weight. Introductions were made, handshakes, nods and hugs dished out as appropriate.
"Hi, Jack," said Junior in her shy way. I remember you. Yes, I remember you.
"Please ta meet you, Alma." Oh yes, you remember me, I can see it in your eyes. You got his eyes, too, kinda hidden from the world, but I know him and I know you. But I bet you don't recall that day like I do, fuckin bled a trail ever goddamn mile back south. I hope you don't never feel as bad as me, darlin. If this Kurt ever makes you feel that way, I'll kill him myself, 'cause no-one should ever suffer that bad.
Kurt was explaining to Ennis how he shared the house with other oil-workers, how he did ten days on, ten days off, down near Lander, but the boys were nice fellers, good god-fearing boys, sir, no worries about your daughter being around them, but there never seemed to be enough time to tidy things up, sir, yep, it did look a bit unsightly with them cars, good to meet you, sir, better get back and do some work. As he bent down to give Junior a quick kiss, there in the middle of the street, in plain view of the neighbours, Ennis and Jack discreetly turned their backs. If only ... Then with Francie at the helm, they headed to find some economy al fresco dining, Riverton style, Jack having insisted he'd pick up the tab.
They found a cheap and cheerful family restaurant with outdoor seating, ordered meals in modest del Mar fashion, despite Jack's offer, and soaked up the last of the year's warmth. Jack and Francie proved to be a perfect pair, talking enough for eight, although much of their conversation was eminently forgettable. He could mouth platitudes and crack jokes in his sleep; she wanted to know all about the ranch, where it was, what they ran, was her daddy like a top hand?
"Hell no, beg your pardon. Your daddy practically runs the place. I just do what I'm told, ain't that right, Ennis? My daddy thinks the sun shines outta--- uh, he thinks Ennis is pretty damn good. Anyway, we're thinkin a branchin out into colored sheep, just runnin a little flock. Why I'm here, checkin out the vi-a-bil-ity." He said the word slowly, sweetened by a Texan drawl. Junior frowned. Then he entertained them all with impersonations of the women he'd spoken to in Casper and Riverton: You're planning on raising colored sheep? How wonderful! Can't get enough of that lovely wool! Why, I knitted a jumper for my Theodore and one for Aunt Daisy, she's my aunt on my father's side--- practically gave me the family history back to the Garden of Eden.
"Mama likes to knit," said Francie, "she'd be interested in what you're planning."
Junior's brows met again. "I don't think Mama wants to know what Daddy's doin, Francie. Best not to say anything."
All four concentrated on the food for a while to cover the sudden frisson of discomfort, but out of the corner of her eye, Junior was watching Jack.
"Why'd you move back to Wyoming?"
"Didn't your daddy tell you? I had a bad accident, came home to convalesce, remembered how much I liked it here and decided to stay."
"But don't you have a son? Daddy, didn't you say once ---?"
Jack and Ennis were exchanging unsure glances; instinctively, Jack turned his left hand so that the pale strip of skin was hidden. "Yeah, I do. My boy's about Francie's age. He stayed with his mama down in Texas and comes to visit when he can. But what's this I hear about you and that young man a yours?" And he adroitly sailed the talk onto another tack.
When the first round of coffees and sodas had been downed and the hamburger and roast beef mostly eaten, Ennis cleared his throat. "Got you girls somethin for your birthdays." From deep in his coat pockets he pulled out the two presents, their bows a little flattened but still presentable. "Francie, happy eighteenth," he kissed her cheek and rubbed the nape of her neck with his workworn, gentle hand, "and Junior, happy twentieth," and a kiss for her too. Jack's eyes got a little bit blurry as he watched the awkward gestures of love. "Hope you like em, darlins."
The exclamations of delight as they opened their presents, and the tight embraces which followed set Ennis's mind at rest. Over his girls' heads he gave Jack a grateful smile and got a solemn wink in reply. Jack deemed it a suitable moment to go inside and order more drinks, and ice cream sundaes for the girls. Three sets of eyes followed his progress.
"Does he walk funny because of his accident?"
"A bit, darlin, but mostly cause he use ta rodeo, was startin to get busted up even afore I met him."
"He seems real nice."
"That's cause he let you drive the truck." Ennis ruffled his daughter's hair and grinned at her.
"He makes you happy," Junior said softly, as if the words had slipped away from a longer train of thought.
"He's my friend, darlin. Ain't friends suppose ta make you happy?" He tried not to let the inside smile spread too far across his face, but sometimes those feelings for Jack rose up like the geysers in Yellowstone.
From the shelter of the restaurant Jack took the opportunity to observe the three del Mars. A quiet happiness surrounded the little group. Jack wondered what they were discussing, but had a good idea he was part of it, judging by the occasional glances his way. When Ennis raised his head and smiled at his girls, Jack had to quickly sit down before his legs betrayed him, thanking whatever gods there might be for giving him a second shot at life and the chance to see that smile shine on him too.
"Said your order's ready!"
"Oh, sorry, didn't hear you." He shook himself back into shape, picked up the waiting tray and headed back into the autumn sunshine.
There didn't seem to be any easy way to stop Francie driving right up to the Monroe house, and to his surprise, Ennis found that he wasn't all that concerned, although his eyes flicked around a time or two, making sure no neighbor was watching. Ennis and the girls said their farewells on the pavement, then as Junior and Francie crossed to their house the front door opened wide and there was Alma, stretched up to her full height, chin raised defiantly. Still inside the cab, Jack touched the brim of his hat and held her gaze, his face an impassive mask. They regarded each other across a narrow strip of road and an unbridgable gap of understanding, until Ennis got behind the wheel, shoving Jack aside.
"Come on, bud, let's go." His hands were shaking. Jack waited until they were well clear of the Monroe place before he spoke.
"So now she knows for sure."
"Mmmm."
"It don't bother you none?"
"She always did know."
"But not that you and me were up at Lightnin Flat together."
"Maybe she did. She made Junior give her the phone number. Poor kid was real embarrassed about tellin me, thought her mama might be trouble."
"She's no fool, that daughter a yours."
"She's a good girl. They both are. And they like you."
"Good taste."
Jack's hand crept along the seat, looking for a haven in Ennis's crotch but it was slapped back. Ennis frowned and shook his head. "Not now. Bad enough drivin through Riverton together, without you doin that stuff."
"Look, we're just two guys in a truck. They can't tell nothin from that. Hell, if ever time two men were seen together it meant they was queer, well, the world'd be a better place. Look over there near that garage, there's three guys talkin. Three! What could they be doin later on! Three of em. Boy, what I wouldn't give to have two a you to play with. Two Ennis del Mars, think I'd die from pleasure."
"You're a fool, Jack."
"Yeah, and you got a overworked imagination. Now just relax and concentrate on gettin us outta here in one piece."
A last smudge of sunset shining through the rear window was gilding Ennis's hair. Jack reached out and stirred the shaggy locks that curled around his ear and this time Ennis allowed the touch, leaned his head over and rubbed against Jack's hand like a big old hungry tomcat.
"Good day."
"Yeah, it was, real good."
"Thanks, friend."
"What for?" said Ennis, though he half-knew the answer, just didn't want to dwell on how much it had meant to Jack.
"For lettin me ... for ... shit, I dunno, for makin me a part a your family." A tiny hitch caught his throat on the last word, and the dashboard lights caught the glint of a tear.
"Couldn't leave you rattlin round Riverton all on your lonesome. You'd a got in all sorts a strife, knowing you, Jack Twist."
"Could a come without me."
"Ain't lettin you outta my sights, bud, not no more."
"Even if it means we're seen together?"
"Guess so."
"Not sure?"
Ennis sighed. "I don't know what I'd do if I lost my girls, you know?"
"Tell you what, I seen the way them girls look at you. Don't matter what they find out, they're goin a love you."
"Just hope you're right." As if the day's tension was finally losing its iron grip on him, Ennis let out a huge yawn and stretched to fill the cab, steering with his knees for a few wobbly seconds.
"Lemme drive home. You're lookin sleepy."
Away in the distance, the lights of an approaching vehicle were just visible in the rear view mirror. "Soon, bud. I'm okay a while longer."
They switched places at Casper, and as the night cloaked them in its safety, Ennis curled up with his head in Jack's lap and almost purred as he felt his hair being stroked and smoothed again. His eyes had closed and his mind was drifting into happy reveries of the day just past when Jack's voice brought him back with a jolt.
"Wonder where that fine-assed boy is now. Maybe got some big, thick, juicy dick up him already."
"Prob'ly at the movies with his girlfriend. Whole world ain't ... ain't that way, Jack."
"Pity," said Jack cheerfully, choosing to ignore the hesitancy in Ennis's voice, "I coulda jumped you right there on Aguirre's desk, saved a lotta time. But I guess you're right. He'll be at the movies with his girl --- and wonderin what it'd be like to have a great big, fat, juicy---"
"Shut the fuck up. I'm goin a sleep."
"You do that, darlin. Sweet dreams."
Maybe the Devil was in need of a vacation that night and Jack Twist looked to be an interesting host, but by the time the truck turned into the gate at Lightning Flat, he'd well and truly taken up residence. A day or two later, when Ennis was otherwise engaged, Jack made a phone call. There was a lot of laughter at both ends of the line, and for some time afterwards Jack wore a permanent and utterly annoying smirk.
tbc