Simklok: Tabloid Journalismklok
More Dethsims! This one is a x-post to Brutal Business, though. I.E. I encouraged my Nathan and Charles Dethsims to get together. A fair chunk of this post has to do with that. So... fair warning and all....
And, not that there's much of a storyline to follow here, but past Simklok posts:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Last time on Simklok: The household was moving on up, thanks to wishes Murderface asked of his then-Genie, now-Klokateer. Unfortunately, Bridgeport doesn't have a lot of space. I ended up moving the graveyard, which sat on the largest lot in the game. new!Mordhaus now sits there... However, I did run out of money while in the process of building, so...
Her eyes aren't down there, Skwisgaar.
Lifetime point genies for motherfucking everyone. Not cheating, just being cheap. There's a difference.
Everyone's settled in.
Though, Pickles would still rather live out of bars, apparently. We have a sink at home, Pickles... You know you can brush your teeth there, right?
Charles worked his way to the top of the business career tree. So, Lala the vampie isn't his boss anymore.
She still shows up and hangs around the house, though.
And then she'll just wander around hitting on people in her lingere.
(Klokateer in his workout clothes.)
It's, um... fine, I guess. So long as she's not turning any of them.
I made the Dethsims a horse.
That's Famine. He's an asshole. He eats gardens. I actually really hate him. I only keep him around to try and lure unicorns.
Which happened.
But, despite being as majestic as fuck, couldn't be caught because of stupid pathfinding issues.
I cannot fully epxress in words how frustrated that made me. I will have a unicorn, and I will have it without cheating.
But let's get down to the meat of this installment: the time machine that Nathan built. No, really. He built a time machine out of scrap metal when I wasn't looking. You may remember that I gave him a metal working inventing hobby. Well, a time machine was in the family inventory. So... Right on, I guess. Sounds dangerous, though. I'll send my most capable Dethsim to check it out.
He came back out with $2000 and some improved relationships around town. Neat.
Go again!
Goofy armor and more money.... That's kind of metal, I guess. Only in the literal sense.
Again!
Armor again... meh. And all the armor seems to do is screw up the outfits I have set to default. Maybe the time machine isn't so impressive after all.
I sent Charles to his dresser to go straighten out his default outfits.
...who's that?
So, apparently, I came back with a time travel child.
Her name is Rain Ofdensen and I have no fucking clue where she came from. I mean, I realize she came out of the time machine... but aside from that...???...
I thought about reloading to get rid of her... But she looked pretty snazzy in a tie.
And she seems pretty mild mannered, so... I let her stay.
I appreciate that she has no patience for Famine. A teeny Dethsim after my own heart... I can't help but notice that she looks a lot like Nathan.
Even though she seems to have no patience for him either.
Nathan, you've clearly built the most faulty time machine ever.
I guess he thought so too, because that's him reading a book on where babies come from. No, really. I don't even know where he got it. I wonder if it says anything on time machines getting pregnant. Were you jackin' it during its construction? I'm picturing Rain's birth as some sort of Nathan/Charles hybrid ala some Fly bodyhorror bullshit.
Mostly Rain just hangs around and judges everyone.
(Klokateer in his pajamas.)
Not that they don't deserve to be judged.
WTF, guys?
Fortunately, she's intellegent, self-sufficient, and faring better than Fatty Ding-Dongs.
Oh, fuck off. Kid sims ask for bedtime stories?
...I can't deal with this.
Moving on! Vacation! France this time. We haven't been to France yet.
Riding to the airport in style now.
But not riding around France in style... ugggh.
I only sent Nathan, Skwisgaar, Toki, Charles, and Rain. Which was a good move on my part. The vacation house was packed.
Not that Skwisgaar needed to go.
All he did is what he always does.
Hold up.
Who is that handsome bastard?
Skwisgaar jammed with French Skwisgaar and immediately got the wish to have sex with himself... I allowed it.
Meanwhile, Nathan was getting bored at a museum. I'm not sure he likes SimFrance. Charles was at the museum, too. Now that they have a time machine abomination together, I decided they should hang out more. I had them head off into the countryside together.
Speaking of the time machine abomination...
Still in the vacation house.
...where she spent the entire day.
I'm not sure if it was a coincidence or if my Dethsims are just particularly horny, but Nathan was already trying to get in Charles' pants by the time I switched back to them.
Which Charles wasn't down for.
It's okay, Nathan.
Skwisgaar is striking out, too.
I kid you not, after this, Skwisgaar stepped two feet to his right and started hitting on Toki instead.
Which Toki was cool with, I guess. I don't even ship these two. But, apparently, my copy of Sims is a big fan of Metalocalypse slash.
While I was distracted by these two, I got a notification that Nathan and Charles' forced group outting had turned into a date. That works for me.
That's sort of romantic.
Or would be if not for all the paparazzi. Christ.
Eventually, everyone headed back to the base camp.
Back at the vacation home, I was pleased to find that all my Dethsims were finally friends with eachother.
...I was also a little creeped out to find paparazzi were in the vacation house, too.
GTFO.
It seems vacation homes count as community lots unless you buy your own. This still seems... kind of wrong. After running her off, everyone turned in. There were more visators than beds. Apparently, kids can share a bed with their parents, though. So, only one Sim ended up napping all night on the sofa.
Oh, fuck off Sims. That's cute.
Ooooh... fuck off, Sims. That's creepy.
THERE IS A MAN WITH A BERET AND AN INFLATABLE DUCK TAKING PICTURES AND JOTTING DOWN NOTES AS THEY SLEEP. Just in case the screenshots didn't adequately convey how creepy and frustrating this vacation was.
Anyway. The next morning...
I sent Nathan and Charles off sightseeing at the local cemetary.
At some point, Toki and Rain became BFFs.
Which was cute. Until it started troubling me.
You're not allowed to love her, Toki. I'm starting to like her. And everything you love dies.
Even in the Sims.
He took her out anyway.
He's a terrible supervisor.
He wandered off, and she spent the day learning songs from strange French women.
Gah.
I switched back to Nathan and Charles.
Well, that escalated quickly. WHY DO THINGS KEEP HAPPENING WHEN I'M NOT WATCHING YOU TWO?!
Nathan tried to pick a fight with the photographer. Charles wandered off.
He watched an impromptu cemetery concert while Nathan let off some steam.
Charles went back after Nathan chased off the paparazzi.
Seriously? Well, I can't say I'm surprised.
Have some decency, lady. Can't you see this is a private moment? They're talking about chips, for god's sake!
After running her off, they took one more stab at some quality time.
Camera phone. Fuck everything.
They gave up and headed back to the vacation home.
Not that things were any better there.
Despite the overcrowded vacation home, Nathan was still determined to get some.
Don't care how angry it makes you, Hulk. It's gonna happen.
No, really. Apparently it is. As long as they don't have a camera, I guess it's an improvement.
Um.
Okay, that's a relief. Nathan decided to shoo everyone out of the room before actually getting around to the sex.
Which Charles turned down.
The very next thing Charles did was make a move on Nathan, though. Capricious SOB. Maybe he's just establishing who's in charge.
Sex in an honest to goodness bed! At last!
...Next vacation, I'm buying a private vacation home.
For the final day of their vacation, I sent Nathan and Charles out with Rain.
As it turned out, the place where I sent them was a mysterious spot for adventuring/not a good landmark to simply hang out at. Since the vacation was almost over, I left Nathan and Rain out back and sent Charles in to hunt for treasure. That's him disarming a trap in the background.
Once inside, I toggled the walls down to better navigate during the adventuring. And what did I see out front?
No. That's it. Done. No more pictures. I am so sick of Sim paparazzi.
Meanwhile Nathan and Rain stayed occupied around back... in something of a "When you see it..." screencap.
i.e. That guy in the bushes behind them.
i.e. The Hulk thinking about Hulk things.
I'd had Skwisgaar try to fight that same woman earlier. He was beaten. Badly. It felt nice to have Charles kick her ass. I was quite pleased with him... I'd end here on his BAMF moment, but it would feel like a lie. The very next thing I did was march him back into the treasue hunting area and unintentionally get him electricuted.
...my bad.
And, not that there's much of a storyline to follow here, but past Simklok posts:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Last time on Simklok: The household was moving on up, thanks to wishes Murderface asked of his then-Genie, now-Klokateer. Unfortunately, Bridgeport doesn't have a lot of space. I ended up moving the graveyard, which sat on the largest lot in the game. new!Mordhaus now sits there... However, I did run out of money while in the process of building, so...
Her eyes aren't down there, Skwisgaar.
Lifetime point genies for motherfucking everyone. Not cheating, just being cheap. There's a difference.
Everyone's settled in.
Though, Pickles would still rather live out of bars, apparently. We have a sink at home, Pickles... You know you can brush your teeth there, right?
Charles worked his way to the top of the business career tree. So, Lala the vampie isn't his boss anymore.
She still shows up and hangs around the house, though.
And then she'll just wander around hitting on people in her lingere.
(Klokateer in his workout clothes.)
It's, um... fine, I guess. So long as she's not turning any of them.
I made the Dethsims a horse.
That's Famine. He's an asshole. He eats gardens. I actually really hate him. I only keep him around to try and lure unicorns.
Which happened.
But, despite being as majestic as fuck, couldn't be caught because of stupid pathfinding issues.
I cannot fully epxress in words how frustrated that made me. I will have a unicorn, and I will have it without cheating.
But let's get down to the meat of this installment: the time machine that Nathan built. No, really. He built a time machine out of scrap metal when I wasn't looking. You may remember that I gave him a metal working inventing hobby. Well, a time machine was in the family inventory. So... Right on, I guess. Sounds dangerous, though. I'll send my most capable Dethsim to check it out.
He came back out with $2000 and some improved relationships around town. Neat.
Go again!
Goofy armor and more money.... That's kind of metal, I guess. Only in the literal sense.
Again!
Armor again... meh. And all the armor seems to do is screw up the outfits I have set to default. Maybe the time machine isn't so impressive after all.
I sent Charles to his dresser to go straighten out his default outfits.
...who's that?
So, apparently, I came back with a time travel child.
Her name is Rain Ofdensen and I have no fucking clue where she came from. I mean, I realize she came out of the time machine... but aside from that...???...
I thought about reloading to get rid of her... But she looked pretty snazzy in a tie.
And she seems pretty mild mannered, so... I let her stay.
I appreciate that she has no patience for Famine. A teeny Dethsim after my own heart... I can't help but notice that she looks a lot like Nathan.
Even though she seems to have no patience for him either.
Nathan, you've clearly built the most faulty time machine ever.
I guess he thought so too, because that's him reading a book on where babies come from. No, really. I don't even know where he got it. I wonder if it says anything on time machines getting pregnant. Were you jackin' it during its construction? I'm picturing Rain's birth as some sort of Nathan/Charles hybrid ala some Fly bodyhorror bullshit.
Mostly Rain just hangs around and judges everyone.
(Klokateer in his pajamas.)
Not that they don't deserve to be judged.
WTF, guys?
Fortunately, she's intellegent, self-sufficient, and faring better than Fatty Ding-Dongs.
Oh, fuck off. Kid sims ask for bedtime stories?
...I can't deal with this.
Moving on! Vacation! France this time. We haven't been to France yet.
Riding to the airport in style now.
But not riding around France in style... ugggh.
I only sent Nathan, Skwisgaar, Toki, Charles, and Rain. Which was a good move on my part. The vacation house was packed.
Not that Skwisgaar needed to go.
All he did is what he always does.
Hold up.
Who is that handsome bastard?
Skwisgaar jammed with French Skwisgaar and immediately got the wish to have sex with himself... I allowed it.
Meanwhile, Nathan was getting bored at a museum. I'm not sure he likes SimFrance. Charles was at the museum, too. Now that they have a time machine abomination together, I decided they should hang out more. I had them head off into the countryside together.
Speaking of the time machine abomination...
Still in the vacation house.
...where she spent the entire day.
I'm not sure if it was a coincidence or if my Dethsims are just particularly horny, but Nathan was already trying to get in Charles' pants by the time I switched back to them.
Which Charles wasn't down for.
It's okay, Nathan.
Skwisgaar is striking out, too.
I kid you not, after this, Skwisgaar stepped two feet to his right and started hitting on Toki instead.
Which Toki was cool with, I guess. I don't even ship these two. But, apparently, my copy of Sims is a big fan of Metalocalypse slash.
While I was distracted by these two, I got a notification that Nathan and Charles' forced group outting had turned into a date. That works for me.
That's sort of romantic.
Or would be if not for all the paparazzi. Christ.
Eventually, everyone headed back to the base camp.
Back at the vacation home, I was pleased to find that all my Dethsims were finally friends with eachother.
...I was also a little creeped out to find paparazzi were in the vacation house, too.
GTFO.
It seems vacation homes count as community lots unless you buy your own. This still seems... kind of wrong. After running her off, everyone turned in. There were more visators than beds. Apparently, kids can share a bed with their parents, though. So, only one Sim ended up napping all night on the sofa.
Oh, fuck off Sims. That's cute.
Ooooh... fuck off, Sims. That's creepy.
THERE IS A MAN WITH A BERET AND AN INFLATABLE DUCK TAKING PICTURES AND JOTTING DOWN NOTES AS THEY SLEEP. Just in case the screenshots didn't adequately convey how creepy and frustrating this vacation was.
Anyway. The next morning...
I sent Nathan and Charles off sightseeing at the local cemetary.
At some point, Toki and Rain became BFFs.
Which was cute. Until it started troubling me.
You're not allowed to love her, Toki. I'm starting to like her. And everything you love dies.
Even in the Sims.
He took her out anyway.
He's a terrible supervisor.
He wandered off, and she spent the day learning songs from strange French women.
Gah.
I switched back to Nathan and Charles.
Well, that escalated quickly. WHY DO THINGS KEEP HAPPENING WHEN I'M NOT WATCHING YOU TWO?!
Nathan tried to pick a fight with the photographer. Charles wandered off.
He watched an impromptu cemetery concert while Nathan let off some steam.
Charles went back after Nathan chased off the paparazzi.
Seriously? Well, I can't say I'm surprised.
Have some decency, lady. Can't you see this is a private moment? They're talking about chips, for god's sake!
After running her off, they took one more stab at some quality time.
Camera phone. Fuck everything.
They gave up and headed back to the vacation home.
Not that things were any better there.
Despite the overcrowded vacation home, Nathan was still determined to get some.
Don't care how angry it makes you, Hulk. It's gonna happen.
No, really. Apparently it is. As long as they don't have a camera, I guess it's an improvement.
Um.
Okay, that's a relief. Nathan decided to shoo everyone out of the room before actually getting around to the sex.
Which Charles turned down.
The very next thing Charles did was make a move on Nathan, though. Capricious SOB. Maybe he's just establishing who's in charge.
Sex in an honest to goodness bed! At last!
...Next vacation, I'm buying a private vacation home.
For the final day of their vacation, I sent Nathan and Charles out with Rain.
As it turned out, the place where I sent them was a mysterious spot for adventuring/not a good landmark to simply hang out at. Since the vacation was almost over, I left Nathan and Rain out back and sent Charles in to hunt for treasure. That's him disarming a trap in the background.
Once inside, I toggled the walls down to better navigate during the adventuring. And what did I see out front?
No. That's it. Done. No more pictures. I am so sick of Sim paparazzi.
Meanwhile Nathan and Rain stayed occupied around back... in something of a "When you see it..." screencap.
i.e. That guy in the bushes behind them.
i.e. The Hulk thinking about Hulk things.
I'd had Skwisgaar try to fight that same woman earlier. He was beaten. Badly. It felt nice to have Charles kick her ass. I was quite pleased with him... I'd end here on his BAMF moment, but it would feel like a lie. The very next thing I did was march him back into the treasue hunting area and unintentionally get him electricuted.
...my bad.