Forsooth! The Plot Bunnies have become Mega-Bunnies
I have a brain drain, but still the little bastards want me to write. I mean, I'm trying to write a book - *gaspeth!* - and I'm trying to build an RPG, I'm doing my own art for the RPG and I'm doing all the research. And I'm always sleepy. *Nyargh!*
But here's the dealy-o. Basically, it'smy first venturing into the House/Wilson fandom, and I wanted to do a fic that incorporated the "history" behind one fanvid that I saw called "If We Shadows Have Offended", and it incorporates images from Dead Poet's Society and House, MD. And to me the vid suggests (oh, yeah forgot - mad props to mystictwilight for making the vid!) that Wilson had wanted to be an actor, breathed and lived the theatre, but that his father wanted him to be a doctor, so Wilson tried to kill himself, got cold feet and didn't, went off to military school and became the doctor that his parents wanted him to be, and the last section of the vid basically - and again, this is my opinion - makes it seem like Wilson's dad is dead (in either a metaphorical sense or a literal sense). My plot bunnies want to make it so that all this soul-searching and what not, all this agnst and anger erupt after Wilson finds out that his father died.
It flashes back from modern day to back to the days of his youth, to his older brother living the wild life in rebellion to his father's rigid control, telling Jimmy to not get eaten alive and finally abandoning Jimmy and his younger brother to the wrath of their father when he leaves - so Jimmy starts taking the heat. But it's not even physical abuse - it's just dismissal. A silent dismissal. If Jim didn't do anything that his father particularly approved of then his father would just, well, ignore him. And trust me, that kind of dismissal hurts the soul. He wanted his father to get angry with him, hit him, yell at him, show him that his father thought he was alive or deserved punishment...not this quiet dismissal that left Jimmy feeling more bereft and destroyed than anything else.
And then, of course, House probes when Jimmy tells him that his father's died, and there's just something off in how Jimmy's taking the news himself. And so House, being the ever curious man that he is, digs. And what he finds disturbs the hell out of him: some old psych evals from when Jimmy was a kid - suicidal, clinical depression, and those were just the easier one's to digest. So he confronts Jimmy and that's where we'll utter the famous line, "You don't always need to know everything about someone, House."
And of course, House probes deeper and really discovers what's up with the Wilson family, but he doesn't tell Wilson because he told his ol'buddy Jimmy that he'd drop it; he wants Jimmy to come out and tell him the full story. He doesn't want the choppy, clinical, abbreviated version that the psych doctors wrote down. He wanted tohear it from Jimmy himself. And all the while feelings are starting to be built up between them, feelings expressed, hunger awakened. Tension. Weeeee!
And that's where the other Vid comes in. The scond vid I was planning on using - or what got the metaphorical juices flowing - was kiwi_from_hell's Circus Lights, and I'm planning on downloading that song for future..um...slashy reference. From this vid, I derive the sex and intensity and passion of Wilson and House's relationship and how during the fic it goes from friendship to relationship in the face of tragedy and death.
House presses Wilson, Wilson tells House to back-off, House reveals that he knows that he and his father didn't get along, that he saw a video of Wilson's production as a kid, tells him he has a gift, Wilson feels betrayed that House kept digging after he told him not to, Wilson leaves in a very pissed off and depressed huff. House meets him later at his apartment. House and Wilson have their argument, then hot passionate man!sex.
~*Flashback!*~ Atleast for Wilson,it's a flashback to when he was a kid and his father caught him kissing another boy. It was the only time his father had actually gotten furious with him, and it was the one time Wilson wished his father had of just dismissed him because his father's unacceptance of Wilson's nature drove him under, made him marry wife after wife, and it sort of gives me a nice explanation of who had made Wilson feel "funny" and "good" and not "[wanting] to let that feeling go."
The day after, Wilson clams up, still trapped as that teenage boy with conflicting feelings and emotions, and the want to just be loved by his father and seen. He and House do not leae amicably. In fact, House is furious and Wilson is mortified. They part, and don't talk for days and the Duckies notice. Cuddy notices, and she demands that House stop being an ass and goand appologize to Wilson for whatever it is that he did. House comments, "Cripples neer get a break," and tells her that it wasn't him acting like an ass this time, and Cuddy's shocked. So, she goes to Wilson andis sympathetic tothe factthat his father's died and the funeral's coming up soon, but she tells him that's it's chaos in the hospital and that he and House need to talk. Wilson realizes this is true, offers a peace offering to House in the form of pancakes and while the conversation is awkward, they are talking, House is less snarky and Wilson - though in the throes of depression (I think depression works like bi-polar disease really, sometimes you can appear happy, but you're not...Wait, no, that's still depression...Nevermind) - asks him to come to the funeral. House agrees with his patented snarkiness and all seems almost right with the world.
Wilson tried to kill himself. Twice? Once? I want to put him on a bridge and I think I might put him with the gun in his hand, but he doesn't kill himself, goes home, sits at his father's desk, staring at the cold metal wrapped in a cloth and puts it away, not wanting to remember that time in his life ever.
House, however, being House...pushes. And when they arrive at Wilson's (I don't know why I want to call him 'Will') family home, there's much tension between the siblings and mom and just...everybody! Wilson and House get into another squabble and Wilson reveals he tried to kill himself, but I don't know what prompts this heavy...squabble in the first place...*ponders* Anyway, House pushes. He tells Wilson either you wanted to kill yourself or you didn't. House is the conneiseur of such dismal and selfish acts. This argument of course gives us, the reader, a peek into Jimmy's subconscious and why he feels the need to be needed so dang much.
He knew that if he killed himself he would be leaving his younger brother alone, much as their older brother had done to him. He couldn't leave - Jonathan, is it? - alone with their father because the man would push Jon too hard and kill him without the boy ending up six feet under. So Jimmy stayed for his brother because the kid needed him to stay.
The climax is really...okay, ahem House and Will get one more snog in before the end. There's a um...dinner party held after the wake (don't know Jewish customs, will ask bud later on), and Will meets one of his old crushes from HS, and she's all flirty, House doesn't like her, snarks her to death (okay, maybe not to death), Wilson, after the party, gets him alone, the two have an argument, have passionate man!sex again, and again, only they make man!love instead, Wilson finally confesses. The two have alot to work on.
The funeral. Wilson reflects.
Epilogue. House comes to work whistling. With a love bite. And a smirk
End.
And that...is the story so far.
CIRCUS LIGHTS Lyrics:
By Black Lab
Come on spend the night under the circus lights
I want to see you high above the crowd
You know I've swallowed fire and I’ve fallen off the wire
a million times before
Are you asking me to show you more love
More light, more heat
Are you asking me to take you, hold you, show you more
More light, more heat
If you’re asking me then I’ll be there
When these circus lights go out
I’ll be the tattooed man, you can be the acrobat
I’ll try and catch you when you fall
And we’ll be together then like a pair of Siamese twins
entwined against the ground
Tell me what more could you ask for now
I wake up to the sound of bells
a thousand girls in wedding veils
But all I want is you do you believe me?
Cause the one game that I never played
the one mistake I never made
Was to come right out and ask you if you need me
Do you need me now? Cause I need more
More light, more heat
Are you asking me to take you, hold you, show you more
More light, more heat
If you’re asking me then I’ll be there
When these circus lights go out
When these circus lights go out
When these circus lights go out
First scraps of what's in my head:
It was a dark, cold day in December with the sky churning different levels of mottled gray, flurries of ice--not quite snow, but getting there--falling from the sky in a light shower of white. James Wilson, his chin nestled into his scarf in an effort to escape the chill wind, slipped in quickly through the glass doors of Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, thankful that the cold did not sweep in after him. He shook off his coat and flashed a brief grin at the hospital secretary as she answered a call coming in. She smiled at him and winked before saying in a patient voice reserved for calling clients,"Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, how may I direct your call?"
He breezed past, at once heading for his office, mind already inspecting his mental checklist for which patients he would have to see today before he started on any paperwork he had left over from the day before.
The pink slip of paper had been waiting for him on his desk all morning.
But here's the dealy-o. Basically, it'smy first venturing into the House/Wilson fandom, and I wanted to do a fic that incorporated the "history" behind one fanvid that I saw called "If We Shadows Have Offended", and it incorporates images from Dead Poet's Society and House, MD. And to me the vid suggests (oh, yeah forgot - mad props to mystictwilight for making the vid!) that Wilson had wanted to be an actor, breathed and lived the theatre, but that his father wanted him to be a doctor, so Wilson tried to kill himself, got cold feet and didn't, went off to military school and became the doctor that his parents wanted him to be, and the last section of the vid basically - and again, this is my opinion - makes it seem like Wilson's dad is dead (in either a metaphorical sense or a literal sense). My plot bunnies want to make it so that all this soul-searching and what not, all this agnst and anger erupt after Wilson finds out that his father died.
It flashes back from modern day to back to the days of his youth, to his older brother living the wild life in rebellion to his father's rigid control, telling Jimmy to not get eaten alive and finally abandoning Jimmy and his younger brother to the wrath of their father when he leaves - so Jimmy starts taking the heat. But it's not even physical abuse - it's just dismissal. A silent dismissal. If Jim didn't do anything that his father particularly approved of then his father would just, well, ignore him. And trust me, that kind of dismissal hurts the soul. He wanted his father to get angry with him, hit him, yell at him, show him that his father thought he was alive or deserved punishment...not this quiet dismissal that left Jimmy feeling more bereft and destroyed than anything else.
And then, of course, House probes when Jimmy tells him that his father's died, and there's just something off in how Jimmy's taking the news himself. And so House, being the ever curious man that he is, digs. And what he finds disturbs the hell out of him: some old psych evals from when Jimmy was a kid - suicidal, clinical depression, and those were just the easier one's to digest. So he confronts Jimmy and that's where we'll utter the famous line, "You don't always need to know everything about someone, House."
And of course, House probes deeper and really discovers what's up with the Wilson family, but he doesn't tell Wilson because he told his ol'buddy Jimmy that he'd drop it; he wants Jimmy to come out and tell him the full story. He doesn't want the choppy, clinical, abbreviated version that the psych doctors wrote down. He wanted tohear it from Jimmy himself. And all the while feelings are starting to be built up between them, feelings expressed, hunger awakened. Tension. Weeeee!
And that's where the other Vid comes in. The scond vid I was planning on using - or what got the metaphorical juices flowing - was kiwi_from_hell's Circus Lights, and I'm planning on downloading that song for future..um...slashy reference. From this vid, I derive the sex and intensity and passion of Wilson and House's relationship and how during the fic it goes from friendship to relationship in the face of tragedy and death.
House presses Wilson, Wilson tells House to back-off, House reveals that he knows that he and his father didn't get along, that he saw a video of Wilson's production as a kid, tells him he has a gift, Wilson feels betrayed that House kept digging after he told him not to, Wilson leaves in a very pissed off and depressed huff. House meets him later at his apartment. House and Wilson have their argument, then hot passionate man!sex.
~*Flashback!*~ Atleast for Wilson,it's a flashback to when he was a kid and his father caught him kissing another boy. It was the only time his father had actually gotten furious with him, and it was the one time Wilson wished his father had of just dismissed him because his father's unacceptance of Wilson's nature drove him under, made him marry wife after wife, and it sort of gives me a nice explanation of who had made Wilson feel "funny" and "good" and not "[wanting] to let that feeling go."
The day after, Wilson clams up, still trapped as that teenage boy with conflicting feelings and emotions, and the want to just be loved by his father and seen. He and House do not leae amicably. In fact, House is furious and Wilson is mortified. They part, and don't talk for days and the Duckies notice. Cuddy notices, and she demands that House stop being an ass and goand appologize to Wilson for whatever it is that he did. House comments, "Cripples neer get a break," and tells her that it wasn't him acting like an ass this time, and Cuddy's shocked. So, she goes to Wilson andis sympathetic tothe factthat his father's died and the funeral's coming up soon, but she tells him that's it's chaos in the hospital and that he and House need to talk. Wilson realizes this is true, offers a peace offering to House in the form of pancakes and while the conversation is awkward, they are talking, House is less snarky and Wilson - though in the throes of depression (I think depression works like bi-polar disease really, sometimes you can appear happy, but you're not...Wait, no, that's still depression...Nevermind) - asks him to come to the funeral. House agrees with his patented snarkiness and all seems almost right with the world.
Wilson tried to kill himself. Twice? Once? I want to put him on a bridge and I think I might put him with the gun in his hand, but he doesn't kill himself, goes home, sits at his father's desk, staring at the cold metal wrapped in a cloth and puts it away, not wanting to remember that time in his life ever.
House, however, being House...pushes. And when they arrive at Wilson's (I don't know why I want to call him 'Will') family home, there's much tension between the siblings and mom and just...everybody! Wilson and House get into another squabble and Wilson reveals he tried to kill himself, but I don't know what prompts this heavy...squabble in the first place...*ponders* Anyway, House pushes. He tells Wilson either you wanted to kill yourself or you didn't. House is the conneiseur of such dismal and selfish acts. This argument of course gives us, the reader, a peek into Jimmy's subconscious and why he feels the need to be needed so dang much.
He knew that if he killed himself he would be leaving his younger brother alone, much as their older brother had done to him. He couldn't leave - Jonathan, is it? - alone with their father because the man would push Jon too hard and kill him without the boy ending up six feet under. So Jimmy stayed for his brother because the kid needed him to stay.
The climax is really...okay, ahem House and Will get one more snog in before the end. There's a um...dinner party held after the wake (don't know Jewish customs, will ask bud later on), and Will meets one of his old crushes from HS, and she's all flirty, House doesn't like her, snarks her to death (okay, maybe not to death), Wilson, after the party, gets him alone, the two have an argument, have passionate man!sex again, and again, only they make man!love instead, Wilson finally confesses. The two have alot to work on.
The funeral. Wilson reflects.
Epilogue. House comes to work whistling. With a love bite. And a smirk
End.
And that...is the story so far.
CIRCUS LIGHTS Lyrics:
By Black Lab
Come on spend the night under the circus lights
I want to see you high above the crowd
You know I've swallowed fire and I’ve fallen off the wire
a million times before
Are you asking me to show you more love
More light, more heat
Are you asking me to take you, hold you, show you more
More light, more heat
If you’re asking me then I’ll be there
When these circus lights go out
I’ll be the tattooed man, you can be the acrobat
I’ll try and catch you when you fall
And we’ll be together then like a pair of Siamese twins
entwined against the ground
Tell me what more could you ask for now
I wake up to the sound of bells
a thousand girls in wedding veils
But all I want is you do you believe me?
Cause the one game that I never played
the one mistake I never made
Was to come right out and ask you if you need me
Do you need me now? Cause I need more
More light, more heat
Are you asking me to take you, hold you, show you more
More light, more heat
If you’re asking me then I’ll be there
When these circus lights go out
When these circus lights go out
When these circus lights go out
First scraps of what's in my head:
It was a dark, cold day in December with the sky churning different levels of mottled gray, flurries of ice--not quite snow, but getting there--falling from the sky in a light shower of white. James Wilson, his chin nestled into his scarf in an effort to escape the chill wind, slipped in quickly through the glass doors of Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, thankful that the cold did not sweep in after him. He shook off his coat and flashed a brief grin at the hospital secretary as she answered a call coming in. She smiled at him and winked before saying in a patient voice reserved for calling clients,"Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, how may I direct your call?"
He breezed past, at once heading for his office, mind already inspecting his mental checklist for which patients he would have to see today before he started on any paperwork he had left over from the day before.
The pink slip of paper had been waiting for him on his desk all morning.