love letters to troy duffy
as promised to 9, a bit of a rant about just how far you can take fanservice before it stops being fun.
now, i'd like to be intelligent about this, but... no. this is pure fannish wankery, and we shall treat it as such. so, talking points in no particular order:
-i wanted so desperately to like this movie. no amount of mediocre reviews were going to stand in the way of me liking it, and i admit that freely. there were even moments when i did like it, and was prepared to forgive a lot of nonsense--anything involving the boys back to back in a hail of slo-mo gunfire, Greenly failing at detective work, Murphy being adorable and hyperactive, that bloody cat. and so, as the movie vacillates between the good scenes and the bad, so did my emotions vacillate between acceptance, amusement, placation, and disappointment, annoyance, "omg, WHY??".
-100% fanservice. not that i dislike fanservice, or that it was unexpected. actually, i expected most of the movie to be fanservice, and though it didn't disappoint in that regard, i was not expecting it to be exclusively fanservice. i mean, it really and seriously took you ten years to study what the fratboys and slashgirls liked about the first one? you spent all that time (theoretically) working on this just to give us a point-for-point rehash of the first movie? come on--i know we're a big, dorky lot, but give your audience a little credit for being able to handle an original idea. [cough*Romeo*cough]
-actually, come to think of it, Romeo deserves his own point because of what an obvious and generally weak substitute for Rocco he was. if you have to bring back your original character for a cameo, despite the lame-sidekick role already being filled, it is time to recognize that your new character sucks. also, Rocco's death was a point of actual emotional poignancy, and filling that void with a character exactly like him cheapens the impact. (see also, Jason Todd.)
i will be fair and give credit for the one witticism that Romeo provides for the whole movie: "i don't do words that have 'spic' in the middle."
-by the way, major props to the movie for managing at once to be the most homophobic and homoerotic movie since "300" came out. hint: just because "gay" is your automatic derogatory phrase doesn't make all that nude masculine flesh exclusively for hetero consumption. you got away with all the gay bashing in the first movie because faggy ol' Smecker was the one delivering most of it, and (this is key), he was still the biggest baddass in the movie. more to the point, TROY DUFFY, YOU AREN'T FOOLING ANYONE! the constant dick and anal-rape jokes, the second appearance of the "abnormally sized men" theory, that tattooing scene!--you clearly have cock on the brain, my friend, and could do with some working out of your issues.
-that said, the "real men stuff their emotions into a bottle and stop fucking whining about it" little rally was truly amazing. it was so corny and yet so sincere that i don't know what to make of it. you don't do sensitive--i can dig that; you don't do emotive--i can dig that, too. but this little pep-talk comes right after a moment of great (theoretical) emotional release, in which one of the boys' best friends dies in front of them... and they're supposed to just suck it up? way to once again cheapen your characters' deaths. (hint: the boys get upset about Rocco, and it doesn't diminish their masculinity when they do.)
personally, i'm also amazed that you don't want your women sensitive or emotive either. i really dig that in terms of fairness--we can all be repressed equally--but... why? what's wrong with a little emotional expression? there IS a difference between not being ruled by your emotions and not having emotions, after all. clearly, one of those issues that needs working out, i think.
-as for special agent Eunice Bloom.... well, she honestly reads way more as a Tarantino babe than anything, but maybe that was just the cowboy thing. still, i can't help but get the feeling i've seen her somewhere before.
(Diana Spacey from FAKE, anyone?)
truth told, that whole movie struck me a live-action version of FAKE, volume 3, minus the kids and the assumption that our heroes are in love. Connor and Murphy are Dee and Ryo, in some order; Romeo, JJ or arguably Bikky; Eunice is Diana Spacey and Smecker is obviously Berkeley Rose. The bad guys are bad guys, and if you need a Chief, that can be Il Duce. Q.E.D, bitches.
-Smecker, incidentally, is what saves this movie from the realm of totally abysmal. half a dozen lines out of Willem Dafoe, and i was prepared to forgive just about everything else this movie threw at me. i won't say that made it good--just that i forgive it its ridiculousness.
alright. lay it on me.
also, incidentally, just saw Up and loved it. the idea that your life continues even after you get old is something i have never seen in a kid's movie--which is why it's probably an animated movie for grown-ups--and that alone sold me on it. that, and the whole "long, happy, fulfilling relationship WITHOUT HAVING KIDS", which is probably revolutionary. (as if Dug's squirrel joke weren't enough to begin with.)
now, i'd like to be intelligent about this, but... no. this is pure fannish wankery, and we shall treat it as such. so, talking points in no particular order:
-i wanted so desperately to like this movie. no amount of mediocre reviews were going to stand in the way of me liking it, and i admit that freely. there were even moments when i did like it, and was prepared to forgive a lot of nonsense--anything involving the boys back to back in a hail of slo-mo gunfire, Greenly failing at detective work, Murphy being adorable and hyperactive, that bloody cat. and so, as the movie vacillates between the good scenes and the bad, so did my emotions vacillate between acceptance, amusement, placation, and disappointment, annoyance, "omg, WHY??".
-100% fanservice. not that i dislike fanservice, or that it was unexpected. actually, i expected most of the movie to be fanservice, and though it didn't disappoint in that regard, i was not expecting it to be exclusively fanservice. i mean, it really and seriously took you ten years to study what the fratboys and slashgirls liked about the first one? you spent all that time (theoretically) working on this just to give us a point-for-point rehash of the first movie? come on--i know we're a big, dorky lot, but give your audience a little credit for being able to handle an original idea. [cough*Romeo*cough]
-actually, come to think of it, Romeo deserves his own point because of what an obvious and generally weak substitute for Rocco he was. if you have to bring back your original character for a cameo, despite the lame-sidekick role already being filled, it is time to recognize that your new character sucks. also, Rocco's death was a point of actual emotional poignancy, and filling that void with a character exactly like him cheapens the impact. (see also, Jason Todd.)
i will be fair and give credit for the one witticism that Romeo provides for the whole movie: "i don't do words that have 'spic' in the middle."
-by the way, major props to the movie for managing at once to be the most homophobic and homoerotic movie since "300" came out. hint: just because "gay" is your automatic derogatory phrase doesn't make all that nude masculine flesh exclusively for hetero consumption. you got away with all the gay bashing in the first movie because faggy ol' Smecker was the one delivering most of it, and (this is key), he was still the biggest baddass in the movie. more to the point, TROY DUFFY, YOU AREN'T FOOLING ANYONE! the constant dick and anal-rape jokes, the second appearance of the "abnormally sized men" theory, that tattooing scene!--you clearly have cock on the brain, my friend, and could do with some working out of your issues.
-that said, the "real men stuff their emotions into a bottle and stop fucking whining about it" little rally was truly amazing. it was so corny and yet so sincere that i don't know what to make of it. you don't do sensitive--i can dig that; you don't do emotive--i can dig that, too. but this little pep-talk comes right after a moment of great (theoretical) emotional release, in which one of the boys' best friends dies in front of them... and they're supposed to just suck it up? way to once again cheapen your characters' deaths. (hint: the boys get upset about Rocco, and it doesn't diminish their masculinity when they do.)
personally, i'm also amazed that you don't want your women sensitive or emotive either. i really dig that in terms of fairness--we can all be repressed equally--but... why? what's wrong with a little emotional expression? there IS a difference between not being ruled by your emotions and not having emotions, after all. clearly, one of those issues that needs working out, i think.
-as for special agent Eunice Bloom.... well, she honestly reads way more as a Tarantino babe than anything, but maybe that was just the cowboy thing. still, i can't help but get the feeling i've seen her somewhere before.
(Diana Spacey from FAKE, anyone?)
truth told, that whole movie struck me a live-action version of FAKE, volume 3, minus the kids and the assumption that our heroes are in love. Connor and Murphy are Dee and Ryo, in some order; Romeo, JJ or arguably Bikky; Eunice is Diana Spacey and Smecker is obviously Berkeley Rose. The bad guys are bad guys, and if you need a Chief, that can be Il Duce. Q.E.D, bitches.
-Smecker, incidentally, is what saves this movie from the realm of totally abysmal. half a dozen lines out of Willem Dafoe, and i was prepared to forgive just about everything else this movie threw at me. i won't say that made it good--just that i forgive it its ridiculousness.
alright. lay it on me.
also, incidentally, just saw Up and loved it. the idea that your life continues even after you get old is something i have never seen in a kid's movie--which is why it's probably an animated movie for grown-ups--and that alone sold me on it. that, and the whole "long, happy, fulfilling relationship WITHOUT HAVING KIDS", which is probably revolutionary. (as if Dug's squirrel joke weren't enough to begin with.)