Fic: Whoops! || Fandom: Inuyasha

[willdew]

More Inuyasha fic this time. I adore the Sesshoumaru x Rin pairing.

Fandom: Inuyasha
Pairings: Sess x Rin
Rating: R
Title: Whoops!
Summary: I tried to make this "first time" story a bit different than those that I find the majority of people write, where she's unused to the idea of sex and he's the one who does the comforting. I thought that

Comments

[peacewish]

I think drank in the sight of her would read a little better. Otherwise lovely. You've probably got a good point about Rin's attitude toward sex, which was treated a lot more casually in society than we post-Victorians can ever imagine. I'm sure Sess lost his virginity a long time before Rin was born, but maybe when you're doing it with someone you actually love, it becomes scary again. Especially if, as you hinted, you're a demon who can barely understand the concept of love at all.

[willdew]

I think drank in the sight of her would read a little better.

Heh! Good point. I think I'll use that.

I'm sure Sess lost his virginity a long time before Rin was born,

Another excellent point, seeing as he's older than Inuyasha, and Inuyasha was sealed to that tree for (200 years?) Well, maybe it's his first time with a human... (I hope). And he's scared of what his mother will do when she finds out. Or maybe it's just an emotional release. I think that on some level Sesshoumaru believes Rin is important to him, but officially he doesn't want to let other people see that she's his biggest weakness. (Well, Naraku figured it out pretty quick, but that guy is just crafty.)

[anonymous]

I like it. The approach to sex wasn't dirty at all, it was actually kind of beautiful. It was also nice how you added the part about Rin being his only weakness. =) What a lucky girl. Lol.

[willdew]

Well, she gets kidnapped every once in a while because of it, but I think it's a price a lot of us would be willing to pay. :D

Thanks a lot for reviewing! I love seeing comments from people and knowing what they think--it means a lot to me. (And encourages me to write more....)

Woot!

[willdew]

I earnestly await your crit! And uhm, what else. Thanks for not caring that I posted twice in a row.

Personally, I think that A) talking myself into believing "it's okay, I don't need to run this through a word processor and spellcheck it" and B) over-reliance on the passive voice are the biggest demons I need to exorcise (pardon the pun.)

[willdew]

I'm sure you're being far too modest. :D

Also, you make pretty icons and art? I honestly can't do that. Yay pretty art.

[cuu_91]

I like your story. Waiting for your next chapter if any.

[willdew]

Thanks! I guess if I write a sequel, it'll be posted in here for sure.

[helena_markos]

I like how you characterize the rtwo of them. It seems very believable, considering how emotionally stunted Sesshomaru seems half the time. It's good to see some well thought out IY fanfiction being written.

Welcome to LJ! I found your journal through Tomoish's post, and I'm glad I did.

[willdew]

Thanks for reading. I'm always happy to know I've made other people happy, and I'm glad you agree with my characterization!

I'm so flattered you friended me! I guess I'll friend you back.

[helena_markos]

Please do. I intend to stalk you for stories (kukuku).

I also really like you page layout. Very stark, is that a set one?

[willdew]

Yay, I like being stalked! *basks in the attention*

Uhmmm the layout I am sorry to admit is kind of a funny story. When I was setting up my account I thought I chose basic but ended up getting a plus account (it was around that May 29th business so maybe LJ was acting funky?) Anyways, there were all these layouts available so I just chose one. When I downgraded back to basic I got to keep it. ^_^; Go me, getting one over on the system....