Comments | william_hands: Invitation to a breakdown

william_hands

Invitation to a breakdown

Nov 05, 2006 03:52

I'm 18 and regrets are all I've got. When friend is just three letters away from the end. I heard something today, from an unreliable source, but it stayed with me anyway. Boys don't cry, neither do I. We just supress the pain caused to us by others. Supress and forget, supress and forget. You can't go around with your heart on your sleeve. It'll ( Read more... )

Comments 10

william_hands November 5 2006, 08:04:23 UTC

i thought she was something else, I guess I was wrong again.

I hate always being wrong.

dancetomixtapes November 5 2006, 16:15:54 UTC

smile, smile, smile and cheer up.

william_hands November 5 2006, 17:36:49 UTC

Teach me, teach me with sincerity and I will.

dancetomixtapes November 5 2006, 22:54:31 UTC

to smile is easy, you just use the muscles on your face and think up some happy thoughts :).

sandlifeboat November 5 2006, 19:27:40 UTC

Maybe just talk to them and solve everything? What do you have to lose?

william_hands November 5 2006, 19:31:37 UTC

Everything I've worked so hard to get this far. My wants and reactions are in outrage to someone bettering me, besting me at what I thought was my game to play. Is it not so selfish of me to pursue? Is it not as childish as my jealousy and envy? Those which we much surpress and deny due to their ugly caddeous nature. Is my wanting of confrontation not as ugly as how I feel?

sandlifeboat November 5 2006, 19:36:04 UTC

Yes, on all accounts. Except for having anything to lose. Maybe I phrased that wrong. Is what could happen so completely horrible that you in all honesty would never be able to handle it? Fuck consequences, those are what happen when you think about something too much before you do it.

william_hands November 5 2006, 19:49:13 UTC

Consequence is inevitable and independant of my planing or pining. There is always consequence, all action has an equal and opposite reaction. The question I do need to ask myself is; is the consequence of my action worth the action itself? Of this I'm unsure I'll be able to handle. Even in thinking I know the outcome before anything has been set in motion I am vain. But my vanity is well-placed with experience. Is the person who assumes 1+1=2 vain or pre-emptive?

firstkisses November 5 2006, 19:50:48 UTC

you can't ask yourself when your turn is.. there is nothing and no one handing out happiness certificates one right after another in some sort of strange karmic lineup.
you have to do it for yourself. don't like something about yourself? change it. unhappy with a situation? act on it.
i know that you're probably not going to take any advice from me, but it's really sad to see you like this and i'm trying to help.
do everything that makes you happy. be selfish. ignore anyone who tells you otherwise because it's those people who will still be in the same place they are now in twenty years, after you've moved on and made yourself and your life exactly the way you want it.

william_hands November 5 2006, 19:58:21 UTC

Thank you Tierney, advice from you is actually more impactful than you think. Is it not true that only the wounded doctor can heal? Only someone who has seen the truth knows how to find it, to guide others to it. I believe you have experienced more in a day of your life than I have in a year of mine. For this, your advice holds more merrit to me than even that of a professional psychiatrist. Thanks