Wow, this was excellent. As much as I love Kara, I can see her lashing out like that once she has the safety of something to fall back on. Whether Lee or Bill realise it or not, both of them judge her and despite the family connection, they're not afraid to point out her flaws. Where as Sam looks up to Kara as his 'hero', she doesn't need to prove anything to him. He doesn't know the skeletons in her closet. So the fact that you have her break that last tie to the Adama's in the safety of Sam's embrace is something I could see happening. I also enjoyed your descriptions of New Caprica; colours, sounds...you painted a lovely rich tapestry. I enjoyed this story very much!
My very fist LJ fanfic feedback! It's interesting the things that leave an impression on readers. Kara begining to break her ties in the safety of Sam's embrace was really just instinctive... I was thinking more about Kara's overt PDA flaunting regs than the symolism at the time. I'm glad this seems realistic to you. Thanks for the great feedback, I'm glad you liked it.
Great prose...the vignette felt richer because of it. Very interesting that peace time doesn't bring peace to Kara. It gives her too much time to think about the things she's done.
Kara had somewhere to go now, other than a battlestar helmed by an Adama, so she didn’t hold back.
Too true. It's like she thinks she's a fully actualized adult and she needs to fly from the coop.
I'm glad you like the fic! Yay for insomniac nights and really rabid plot bunnies that keep flashing back to Kara's look of awkward self loathing when talking to Tigh about Lee in LDYB II. Thanks for the Saturday morning feedback!
I like this. You describe things [both settings and feelings] very well, and all of the characters' actions are very realistic. You've captured Kara well...
The only bit of criticism I would have is that during the present/new Caprica scenes, you tend to change verb tenses just a tad between present and past, but it's totally not a huge glaring sort of thing.
Lovely for your first fic, too! You're a good writer... I want to read more from you. ;]
Busted by verb tense!williwawzJuly 8 2006, 22:01:45 UTC
I'm glad you liked this-I realized after I posted that I had made those verb tense mistakes, but had lost the steam to go back and fix them. Thanks for the catch, I love constructive criticism like this. My next peice is total, wacky crack!fic...be careful what you wish for! :-) Thanks!
I like this fic a lot. Great first piece. I really like Kara's both guilt and acceptance of what she did to the Adama's. I am interested to see if they really have her hurt the Old Man in her rift with Lee. I hadn't thought about that before, interesting take on what she did to Lee.
Thanks for commenting. Bamber said that what "Ms. Thrace" did was horrible. The worst thing (In my mind) that Kara could do was turn on the Admiral and Lee both, so that was my basis for this one-especially with the scene of her reaction to Tigh telling her to talk to Lee. I love Kara's character, but she is a nasty Biatch to the Adama boys. I'm glad you liked the fic.
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I also enjoyed your descriptions of New Caprica; colours, sounds...you painted a lovely rich tapestry.
I enjoyed this story very much!
Reply
It's interesting the things that leave an impression on readers. Kara begining to break her ties in the safety of Sam's embrace was really just instinctive... I was thinking more about Kara's overt PDA flaunting regs than the symolism at the time. I'm glad this seems realistic to you.
Thanks for the great feedback, I'm glad you liked it.
Reply
Great prose...the vignette felt richer because of it. Very interesting that peace time doesn't bring peace to Kara. It gives her too much time to think about the things she's done.
Kara had somewhere to go now, other than a battlestar helmed by an Adama, so she didn’t hold back.
Too true. It's like she thinks she's a fully actualized adult and she needs to fly from the coop.
Reply
Thanks for the Saturday morning feedback!
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The only bit of criticism I would have is that during the present/new Caprica scenes, you tend to change verb tenses just a tad between present and past, but it's totally not a huge glaring sort of thing.
Lovely for your first fic, too! You're a good writer... I want to read more from you. ;]
Reply
My next peice is total, wacky crack!fic...be careful what you wish for! :-)
Thanks!
Reply
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I'm glad you liked the fic.
Reply
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