my shiznit
here, read how my life SUCKS.
Okay, first of all, here's a post about me and my life lately. I'm gonna TRY to make it fast before the internet cord gets pulled from the wall upstairs or something. But in the meantime, you know, life sucks. Yeah Yeah Yeah it sucks for all of us. But life really does suck.
My mom is packing up and leaving again. This time probably for real. Not sure yet. But I'm sick of having to pack up and follow her. But I HAVE TO PACK UP. I can't stay here in MY family house that Rick now has his name on the deed of, with RICK. So I HAVE TO GO TOO. And that means I have to yet once again go through the SHIT AND HELL OF PACKING AND MOVING. And more than likely it's going to be into a TRAILER that we're not going to be able to afford lot rent for and complain about NON FRICKIN ASS STOP. Because it isn't nice living in a trailer or trailer park. And I don't want to live in Florida. But that's where my mom wants to move. Because she wants to be near her mommy and daddy that caused all her problems by having sex and conceiving her in the FIRST PLACE.
I don't want to leave this house. This was my great grandparents house. It isn't OFTEN you're able to have a house passed through family like this. I grew up here. I have memories here. I wanted to raise MY KIDS here. But nice things don't work out for me like that. Now Rick, some stupid ass jackass is going to have this house and he's going to destroy it. Not that it should be his anyway but he ripped apart his last house and didn't put anything back together and that's whats going to happen to this BEAUTIFUL HOUSE. But I can't do anything about. All I could possible do is burn it down and I won't get away with it. I don't live in a movie. It feels like a horror movie at times, but it isn't really a MOVIE. In real life people get CAUGHT when they commit crimes. And unless I get to the point where I don't CARE if I serve time in prison, I can't do anything about it. And Rick doesn't care that my mom is leaving. He found out what this house meant to me and he's happy that he's "winning". And he's also happy that he's going to be living by himself. NO matter how much he tells my mom he doesn't want her to MOVE, he really wants to live ALONE. In MY DAMN HOUSE.
And I'm going to be stuck down in hell hole Florida. Worried all the time about my brother being out on the roads around aligators. I know he's down there anyway, but since I'm not there, I don't think about it ALL THE TIME. But if I'm LIVING THERE, I WILL BE. And I don't want to be TRAILER TRASH AGAIN.
And I don't want to live around my judgemental GRANDPARENTS who control, or at least like to try, EVERYTHING. If they think you shouldn't have a pet, they call around and look for someone else to take it and then CALL YOU and TELL YOU that they found your pet a new home. ... Not that that's ever WORKED, but I'm sick of their shit like that. And it isn't because they're just trying to care. It's because they're CONTROLLING. My grandfather is the type to call me and tell me he's gotten me an interview at some glass factory or something. And I can't just laugh because then he calls me disrespectful. And my grandmother is A LOT WORSE. She told me in order to not take so long packing things, to SACRAFICE "a lot" of my stuff so that we can move down there FASTER. Well you know what? If it was HER stuff, would she be so quick and willing to SACRAFICE it? all because someone else that you're living with is stupid and keeps making MISTAKES in life causing you to be screwed up AS WELL????????????????????? NO. She would NOT be willing to do that. ... So now I have to pack up all my shit AGAIN, store it in storage, BOARD MY PETS, so that me and my MOMMY can move in with my grandparents for a few WEEKS until we find somewhere to LIVE. All because my mom married a psychotic weirdo. And please don't think I'm just saying that. His own brother says it. His own DAUGHTER say it. And now me and my mom got STUCK WITH IT. My mom is MORE stuck, but I'm stuck too because he's in MY DAMN HOUSE. That I have to GIVE UP AND FLEE FROM. Literally, YES.
I know I don't have the worse life possible. And I don't ever want the worse life possible. But why can't things just be sorta nice for once? Just for ONCE? Yeah, maybe I have to wait until I'm out on my own, but WHY? I mean why does it HAVE TO wait? Other people have nice lives without everyone having to live the exact same way.
And my mom isn't the type that should be NOT married. Yes, I think we need Rick out of all of our LIVES, but my mom does not do good UNMARRIED. She gets with married men. She flirts with guys I bring around. She even tries to get with MINORS. And no it's not because she's just a perv. It's because she has a LOT of mental disorders that she isn't being properly medicated for. She refuses to take her bi-polar meds because of what it's made of and the fact that a possible side effect is "strokes". .. I'm not saying I'd want to take it either but now she's UNMEDICATED. but nothing and no one is as BAD as I've seen Rick. Rick is absolutely insane. I honestly truly SINCERELY believe he is skitzo. He told me yesterday that every night he comes home he sees me giving him hateful looks and hears me saying hateful things about him and he gets a hateful vibe from me... I try my darnest to stay out of his way. I make it an absolute POINT to CHEERFULLY tell him Hello when he walks through the door after work. I have NO CLUE why he thinks I hate him. Other than the fact he knows he's nuts and driving everyone else INSANE in the meantime. But I pity Rick. I always have. I don't give him hateful looks or talk to him in hateful tones. ... But the pity is going to stop. Because right now I pity MYSELF. And no one BUT MYSELF.
Thank you for reading this.
Okay, first of all, here's a post about me and my life lately. I'm gonna TRY to make it fast before the internet cord gets pulled from the wall upstairs or something. But in the meantime, you know, life sucks. Yeah Yeah Yeah it sucks for all of us. But life really does suck.
My mom is packing up and leaving again. This time probably for real. Not sure yet. But I'm sick of having to pack up and follow her. But I HAVE TO PACK UP. I can't stay here in MY family house that Rick now has his name on the deed of, with RICK. So I HAVE TO GO TOO. And that means I have to yet once again go through the SHIT AND HELL OF PACKING AND MOVING. And more than likely it's going to be into a TRAILER that we're not going to be able to afford lot rent for and complain about NON FRICKIN ASS STOP. Because it isn't nice living in a trailer or trailer park. And I don't want to live in Florida. But that's where my mom wants to move. Because she wants to be near her mommy and daddy that caused all her problems by having sex and conceiving her in the FIRST PLACE.
I don't want to leave this house. This was my great grandparents house. It isn't OFTEN you're able to have a house passed through family like this. I grew up here. I have memories here. I wanted to raise MY KIDS here. But nice things don't work out for me like that. Now Rick, some stupid ass jackass is going to have this house and he's going to destroy it. Not that it should be his anyway but he ripped apart his last house and didn't put anything back together and that's whats going to happen to this BEAUTIFUL HOUSE. But I can't do anything about. All I could possible do is burn it down and I won't get away with it. I don't live in a movie. It feels like a horror movie at times, but it isn't really a MOVIE. In real life people get CAUGHT when they commit crimes. And unless I get to the point where I don't CARE if I serve time in prison, I can't do anything about it. And Rick doesn't care that my mom is leaving. He found out what this house meant to me and he's happy that he's "winning". And he's also happy that he's going to be living by himself. NO matter how much he tells my mom he doesn't want her to MOVE, he really wants to live ALONE. In MY DAMN HOUSE.
And I'm going to be stuck down in hell hole Florida. Worried all the time about my brother being out on the roads around aligators. I know he's down there anyway, but since I'm not there, I don't think about it ALL THE TIME. But if I'm LIVING THERE, I WILL BE. And I don't want to be TRAILER TRASH AGAIN.
And I don't want to live around my judgemental GRANDPARENTS who control, or at least like to try, EVERYTHING. If they think you shouldn't have a pet, they call around and look for someone else to take it and then CALL YOU and TELL YOU that they found your pet a new home. ... Not that that's ever WORKED, but I'm sick of their shit like that. And it isn't because they're just trying to care. It's because they're CONTROLLING. My grandfather is the type to call me and tell me he's gotten me an interview at some glass factory or something. And I can't just laugh because then he calls me disrespectful. And my grandmother is A LOT WORSE. She told me in order to not take so long packing things, to SACRAFICE "a lot" of my stuff so that we can move down there FASTER. Well you know what? If it was HER stuff, would she be so quick and willing to SACRAFICE it? all because someone else that you're living with is stupid and keeps making MISTAKES in life causing you to be screwed up AS WELL????????????????????? NO. She would NOT be willing to do that. ... So now I have to pack up all my shit AGAIN, store it in storage, BOARD MY PETS, so that me and my MOMMY can move in with my grandparents for a few WEEKS until we find somewhere to LIVE. All because my mom married a psychotic weirdo. And please don't think I'm just saying that. His own brother says it. His own DAUGHTER say it. And now me and my mom got STUCK WITH IT. My mom is MORE stuck, but I'm stuck too because he's in MY DAMN HOUSE. That I have to GIVE UP AND FLEE FROM. Literally, YES.
I know I don't have the worse life possible. And I don't ever want the worse life possible. But why can't things just be sorta nice for once? Just for ONCE? Yeah, maybe I have to wait until I'm out on my own, but WHY? I mean why does it HAVE TO wait? Other people have nice lives without everyone having to live the exact same way.
And my mom isn't the type that should be NOT married. Yes, I think we need Rick out of all of our LIVES, but my mom does not do good UNMARRIED. She gets with married men. She flirts with guys I bring around. She even tries to get with MINORS. And no it's not because she's just a perv. It's because she has a LOT of mental disorders that she isn't being properly medicated for. She refuses to take her bi-polar meds because of what it's made of and the fact that a possible side effect is "strokes". .. I'm not saying I'd want to take it either but now she's UNMEDICATED. but nothing and no one is as BAD as I've seen Rick. Rick is absolutely insane. I honestly truly SINCERELY believe he is skitzo. He told me yesterday that every night he comes home he sees me giving him hateful looks and hears me saying hateful things about him and he gets a hateful vibe from me... I try my darnest to stay out of his way. I make it an absolute POINT to CHEERFULLY tell him Hello when he walks through the door after work. I have NO CLUE why he thinks I hate him. Other than the fact he knows he's nuts and driving everyone else INSANE in the meantime. But I pity Rick. I always have. I don't give him hateful looks or talk to him in hateful tones. ... But the pity is going to stop. Because right now I pity MYSELF. And no one BUT MYSELF.
Thank you for reading this.