(no subject)
Part of it is transference.
If someone thinks something you like is stupid, then the implication is that because you like it it's stupid.
But I think the biggest problem is that I just seem to think that I have a right to an opinion only as long as no one else has one.
-,- I think I'm going to blame america on that one.
So the other day, I was trying to work through my socail awkwardness and realized that a heafty portion was given to me by my older brother.
No matter what I did, I embarrassed him. I swear I could spend the day with my hands in my lap staring into the distance, and he'd tell me that I embarrassed him by looking like a retard. I was too loud, I was too dirty, I was too rude, I was slow, I looked stupid, I was just wrong. Did I like something? Well, I shouldn't because nobody liked that.
Of course, I was also absolutely sure he loved me anyway, even when I embarrassed him. But sometimes it felt alot like pity.
I thought Dan was awesome. Everybody loved dan. Dan was pretty, and smart and polite and I could never be as good as Dan, but I should try. But of course, I wouldn't succeed.
I worry that Kat hero worships me, esspecaily since she gets so upset when other peopel suggest things. Am I pressuring her withotu meaning to? Should I jut stay silent? Is my advice bad? Is it not strong enough? Should I speak up more? Less?
My opinion doesn't matter. It's just an opinion.
The other day I said something and followed it up by adding "today, Willow's opinions are being presented as facts."
And people laughed. because as it was pointed out 'at least I was admitting it'
Blah blah blah, tl:dr, I'm kind of crazy and I never, ever put anything fun on my journal.
I have a formspring account?
http://www.formspring.me/Willowwanderer
So I've been writing short ficton in a shared world on Y!Gallery- and I suddenly realized for a slash-based world, none of my characters are really very sexual creatures. They have sex, but it's hard to think of them as being overtly sexual, even in a kind of cheesecake way.
If someone thinks something you like is stupid, then the implication is that because you like it it's stupid.
But I think the biggest problem is that I just seem to think that I have a right to an opinion only as long as no one else has one.
-,- I think I'm going to blame america on that one.
So the other day, I was trying to work through my socail awkwardness and realized that a heafty portion was given to me by my older brother.
No matter what I did, I embarrassed him. I swear I could spend the day with my hands in my lap staring into the distance, and he'd tell me that I embarrassed him by looking like a retard. I was too loud, I was too dirty, I was too rude, I was slow, I looked stupid, I was just wrong. Did I like something? Well, I shouldn't because nobody liked that.
Of course, I was also absolutely sure he loved me anyway, even when I embarrassed him. But sometimes it felt alot like pity.
I thought Dan was awesome. Everybody loved dan. Dan was pretty, and smart and polite and I could never be as good as Dan, but I should try. But of course, I wouldn't succeed.
I worry that Kat hero worships me, esspecaily since she gets so upset when other peopel suggest things. Am I pressuring her withotu meaning to? Should I jut stay silent? Is my advice bad? Is it not strong enough? Should I speak up more? Less?
My opinion doesn't matter. It's just an opinion.
The other day I said something and followed it up by adding "today, Willow's opinions are being presented as facts."
And people laughed. because as it was pointed out 'at least I was admitting it'
Blah blah blah, tl:dr, I'm kind of crazy and I never, ever put anything fun on my journal.
I have a formspring account?
http://www.formspring.me/Willowwanderer
So I've been writing short ficton in a shared world on Y!Gallery- and I suddenly realized for a slash-based world, none of my characters are really very sexual creatures. They have sex, but it's hard to think of them as being overtly sexual, even in a kind of cheesecake way.