rage

[willowperson]

I posted to my website. I have a website? Good lord, better fill it with content.

This particular content is asking a question, and I'll gladly take your responses here.
How does one warn others or even just talk about an Abuser without coming across as being a drama queen or having Survivor as your main identity?Situation: I didn't reach out to

Comments

[circe_pleading]

I don't know. I truly don't. Even now, recent exeunt from a situation which can be characterized in no other way, I can't do it. All my friends here are handling me with the care reserved for wounded, broken birds, and I hate that this where I am, who I am, who I became.

If you come across any insight, please do let me know.

[unwoman]

Ugh, that's such a tough question. I feel like talking about such things is stigmatized, but silence can be dangerous.

However, I warned a few people about an abusive pathological liar ex of mine, and some of those dumb broads dated him anyway, so I basically gave up. Maybe I shouldn't have, but at a certain point it's not your responsibility anymore.

[bitchy_vegan]

You have to be willing to reach out to protect/inform others, regardless of how you may be seen from then on, honestly. One will likely be seen in various negative ways--just look at all the support for Chris Brown and insults hurled at Rhianna by various parties--but if it's to protect/help others, then that's what matters.

It's our job as a society to de-stigmatize those who come forward to speak out on domestic abuse/violence, and we're sucking at it. But it takes courage to speak out, and courage to deal with any fall out.

[dymaxion]

It's hard. I'm not sure there are any great answers

[mimerki]

I don't know. My experience is that it can be very difficult to warn others in a way that is useful, whatever it is that is going on. It certainly seems like a simple enough idea: If this person has hurt this list of people in this way, the chances are they will also hurt you in this way. If that's okay with you, move along. If not, proceed with caution.

Beyond that, I've come to believe that silence only serves the abusers. If you are silent, you are consenting to this perpetuation of abuse. If you pipe up and make a fuss, some people will interpret this as drama or foist off their impression of What Survivors Are on you but maybe someone will actually hear you and learn something.