re: boundaries, I'm sure you're familiar with the phrase jack of all trades, master of none? I think that your statement Constantly in flux to best deal with situations sounds like a variant of that. Wanting to be everything to everybody necessarily means not being what you want for yourself. In terms of defining what it is you want for yourself (and how that impacts other people), I've found over the years that being as honest as possible - about your confusion, discomfort, like/dislike, whatever - while also being upfront about how it's all a work in progress and you're not trying to manipulate, is the easiest way to get definitions with others down. Also reminding myself that no matter how badly it might suck to tell someone something that might hurt them, it is INFINITELY BETTER than allowing a situation to spiral to the point where YOU'RE being hurt/upset because of what you've not said.
Although I don't know you very well, it's nice to see you back here! ALSO, I think from my impression of you, I can see why your friends call you Catalyst for Awesome & listen to your advice because you seem like a very smart person and no-nonsense when it concerns your friends. I think you are a genuine friend for being frank with people, because I think it comes from a place of caring. Anyway, that's my impression of you, and like I said I don't know you very well, but that's what I think :D
I think boundaries emerge with the some arbitrariness and contingecy as the other aspects of identity. Nothing in being human is hard and fast. Boundaries are the callouses of life, they are the parts of us that are tough from contact from contact with the world. You must build up boundaries for yourself against those things that hurt you most. Not to say you shouldn't vulnerable or open to things, though. If boundaries callouses, the most healthful boundaries are like the skin on the hands of a great traceur: hard and insulating, yet supple and adaptive.
Wow....sounds like quite a bit has been going on with you Willow. Also sounds like we are treading on similar paths in many respects. I'm in the process of rebuilding a lot in my life on my end. It's put me out of touch with a lot, and it's been hectic trying to get back on track and maybe make things better/different. Sounds like you are there too, if I am reading things right. If you ever want to talk about it drop me a line here or give me a call. I sense this could lead to lengthy discussion. ;) Sadly my text is out at the moment so my communication options are limited. :(
However things go, I am here for you Willow. Let me know if I can help out.
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/two cents
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If you ever want to talk about it drop me a line here or give me a call. I sense this could lead to lengthy discussion. ;) Sadly my text is out at the moment so my communication options are limited. :(
However things go, I am here for you Willow. Let me know if I can help out.
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