the ugly organ

[wiltessa]

I'm warning everyone right now. This is where I get all types of personal. and broken in my writing. if you can't deal with it, don't read the entry. I know damn well that there is a better forum for this. I'm not a fucking idiot. But I'm a little to pissed right to give a fuck.

After getting out of work today, I had the brillant idea that cleaning

Comments

[shaunkun]

*HUG*

[gypsymichaella]

well if that isn't getting shit off your chest i don't know what is....

I seem to remember you and I riding down the highway and the two of us having mutual freak outs so bad i had to pull over because i was worse than you darling. But you were close too it as well... Damn it felt so good!

I am glad you exploded like this darling...you needed it. It's a hell of a lot healthier than keeping it inside and letting it eat at you to the point where there is nothing inside any more for any one, including yourself.

You may not feel better now, but i can bet you will feel better later.

Hugs and luv and all that wonderful shiny shit that we call life.
j

[wiltessa]

tanks! I'm kind of okay today. there's still that bubbling angry and hurt underneath the skin..but - well, it is what it is. drawing limits for myself so i can save some part of me when this is all over.
but this really wasn't the place for it. i shouldn't have put it here. it's entirely disrespectful. but its how i felt that.

[gypsymichaella]

It's called shouting on the top of a mountain darling....

a person would find a mountain and just yell until they were hoarse. but the point was to yell out all that was frustraiting them and that they were angry about until it was out of their system.

granted this is an odd mountain top..but this is the one you picked.

There is never a place to do a cleansing like this darling. You just pick the time to do it and let it out.

j

[mishmosh]

*HUGS*

[northern]

There are times when I realize I love you so much I don't have words for it. That I think of you and everything that you are; all that amazing good and terrible bad rolled into someone so expressively beautiful and painfully unaware of it, and I think 'loving her is easy, how can anyone not?'.

You know there are things I don't understand. You and I are different people with different issues. But some things... some things I understand. Some of these things... they're easy to get.

I'm glad you wrote this. I'm so very glad you wrote this. You don't need me to tell you that, it's almost patronizing but I don't mean it to be.

I love you.

[wiltessa]

It's not patronizing at all! I love that you love that i wrote this. Your the person who would most understand what this actually feels like. We have our own versions of it, but it parrels in very similar ways. It's one of those things that we can talk about and not have to explain it over much. we both get it.
This made me cry. your comment gave me this warmth that i usually get when I'm around you. It's this peace that i get from hanging out with you.
brunch sometime in the future?

[jlarissa]

*hug* I know I went off and did my own little disappearing act a very long time ago, so I’ve never really understood what’s gone on in your life since I left, but I do know that you don’t deserve to suffer the way you do- No matter what may have gone on. You have always had a beautiful soul and more strength than you realize. Just keep clinging to that strength, no matter how thin it may seem at times. Letting go of things like this only makes you stronger.

[wiltessa]

This was my way to exorcise some deep demons of mine. And your right, that strength seems very thin lately.but I can get through this and everything else life decides to throw at me.
and don't worry. i can't blame you for going off and disappering. first chance i get, i plan to do the same.