Um... wow.
Ugh, really? Life... really?
I know two years is a long time, but...
Don't say I did not warn you about the girly TMI, because... CONSIDER THIS YOUR LAST WARNING.
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When having a pap smear, what you really, really don't want is for the doctor to be speculum deep in your vag and saying words like "abnormal" and "erosion". Like... what?
I mean, come on. I know I haven't had sex in two years (seriously, I know this, believe me, I know!)... but I'm fairly sure IT DOESN'T JUST FALL OFF.
*sigh*
Stupid endometrial layer.
Now I have to wait over a week to get my results. "Don't worry" he says, "It will probably come back normal."
Oh, really? DON'T WORRY? Firstly, doc, have you met me? I know you have, you've been my GP for over two decade. MY TEST RESULTS NEVER COME BACK NORMAL. Secondly, maybe you should try the "Nothing to worry about" line BEFORE you start with the "Uh... hmm... I am just going to use this specialised wire tool in the middle of this pelvic intrusion that I have never ever used before in a pap smear" and the "and now just let me palpate the ever living fuck out of this area just here" schtick.
Did I happen to just somehow kick fate in the balls without knowing it? What's going on?
I know two years is a long time, but...
Don't say I did not warn you about the girly TMI, because... CONSIDER THIS YOUR LAST WARNING.
*
*
*
*
*
*
When having a pap smear, what you really, really don't want is for the doctor to be speculum deep in your vag and saying words like "abnormal" and "erosion". Like... what?
I mean, come on. I know I haven't had sex in two years (seriously, I know this, believe me, I know!)... but I'm fairly sure IT DOESN'T JUST FALL OFF.
*sigh*
Stupid endometrial layer.
Now I have to wait over a week to get my results. "Don't worry" he says, "It will probably come back normal."
Oh, really? DON'T WORRY? Firstly, doc, have you met me? I know you have, you've been my GP for over two decade. MY TEST RESULTS NEVER COME BACK NORMAL. Secondly, maybe you should try the "Nothing to worry about" line BEFORE you start with the "Uh... hmm... I am just going to use this specialised wire tool in the middle of this pelvic intrusion that I have never ever used before in a pap smear" and the "and now just let me palpate the ever living fuck out of this area just here" schtick.
Did I happen to just somehow kick fate in the balls without knowing it? What's going on?