I can't wait to hear about your first sexual experience with a woman! It's going to blow open the doors of your mind to that place known as FREEDOM. I can just feel it reading this. And I think it is interesting that you identify as sub with men but said "riding my fingers" with women. Sounds like there will be a whole new side of you to explore in that way too.
And of course you are attractive! Please. Don't even let those thoughts creep in. Give it time, sure, but fucking go for it. Intimacy is the thing that heals most of those wounds you listed. Honesty and intimacy. And fucking. Fucking is nice too :)
Thanks for sharing. Your writing style is so accessible and engaging. I don't usually read fic but maybe I should finally check yours out!
When I got your reply to my reply I was having a bad day. Was nice to feel like an agent for good :)
All I will say about the negative thoughts moving in and setting up shop is that I understand. I so fucking do. I am 14 months into this 12-step program and I am finally starting to understand just how badly I have been handicapping myself since what seems like the beginning of time. But we can change. That's the genuine surprise of it. And when you become ready to clean house and kick those fuckers out, you'll wonder why you never realized you had the power all along.
I sound like the end of a GI Joe episode. Or a Grey's Anatomy coda.
Looked at your master fic list. I should check out some Firefly (not sure how I feel about Jayne/anyone, so prob the River/Kaylee) or VM. The VM links are dead though... (Why would someone close veronicamarsfic???) I would so enjoy a V/L/Weevil threesome. And hey, no Veronica/Lily? How come?
Fyi, I'm 33, out of shape, and have to have a beer in my hand to be social with almost ANYONE and I still get offers from both men and women. Often, it's not your age or your level of fitness that people are attracted to, it's more about you being yourself and putting yourself out there to be seen for who and what you are. And I don't know about your personal, offline life, but if you can portray yourself to people the way you do on here (strong, resilient, funny, smart) you will have no problem finding a partner, when and if you decide to look for one
( ... )
I get this, I do. Self confidence is the sexiest thing... but knowing it doesn't change my lack of it. I wish I was as confident in real life as I am online. It would make things so much easier.
Good for you! Don't worry about labels, just be yourself. It's not really anyone's business who you want to get hot and heavy with (unless of course they're the one you're interested in doing it with). Believe me, you are still very young. Your confidence in yourself will grow. In am so much more sure of who I am now, as a 40+ mother of three teenagers (yikes!), than I ever was when I was your age. (Raising kids will do that to you - you'll see.) I hope things work out for you. I'm sure they will. :)
Thank you for feeling comfortable enough with us to share this part of yourself, I feel very honored to be included in your safe space. *muah*
I...kind of have nothing to add, because everyone else who commented has said so much so well. Although, congrats on popping your pissing-off-the-Social-Justice-Warriors cherry, chica! Oh to have so little to do and such a big stick up one's ass, and I'm glad you're still writing whatever you freaking want to write.
It's unfortunate that family members tend to be the ones who can drive that knife in the deepest, but it seems to be one of those universal things and it's probably better (if more easily said than done) to just get to a place of "meh, fuck 'em" as long as you and your boys are happy and well-adjusted and content in your lives. And I think being able to say all of this to yourself and here to us is a huge step toward doing that
( ... )
Of course I'm writing whatever the hell I want to write, that's never going to stop me. Usually I can shake stuff like that off, no problem, but it just hit a weak spot with me right now. I am vulnerable.
God, families, if you didn't love them so much you'd hate them. Seriously.
Everybody seems to be telling me to do this and, well, it's easier said than done. As you said.
I am so lucky to have such good friends online. I knew everybody here would be supportive, that's why I felt so comfortable saying it all here like this. I knew everyone would be great, like that have been.
A lot of people haven't dated and known so if you know inside that you're bi, then no body can tell you different. It's not about being sure, I mean, you can go and experience it and make sure if you want but that's all personal stuff and doesn't really matter in my opinion. I mean, I knew I was gay from a young age and I haven't had a long hard meaningful relationship, or even falling in love. And like you, I named the popular boys, or the pretty ones of tv to my friends when pestered, before I felt comfortable coming out. It's tricky and it's scary coming out. My friends all knew way before I did. The first reaction I had when I came out, which I did through IMing, was "well make sure you really are, because it's embarrassing coming out and then having to say later saying 'no, I'm actually not'." Which hurt
( ... )
Comments 35
And of course you are attractive! Please. Don't even let those thoughts creep in. Give it time, sure, but fucking go for it. Intimacy is the thing that heals most of those wounds you listed. Honesty and intimacy. And fucking. Fucking is nice too :)
Thanks for sharing. Your writing style is so accessible and engaging. I don't usually read fic but maybe I should finally check yours out!
Reply
Reply
All I will say about the negative thoughts moving in and setting up shop is that I understand. I so fucking do. I am 14 months into this 12-step program and I am finally starting to understand just how badly I have been handicapping myself since what seems like the beginning of time. But we can change. That's the genuine surprise of it. And when you become ready to clean house and kick those fuckers out, you'll wonder why you never realized you had the power all along.
I sound like the end of a GI Joe episode. Or a Grey's Anatomy coda.
Looked at your master fic list. I should check out some Firefly (not sure how I feel about Jayne/anyone, so prob the River/Kaylee) or VM. The VM links are dead though... (Why would someone close veronicamarsfic???) I would so enjoy a V/L/Weevil threesome. And hey, no Veronica/Lily? How come?
Reply
THEY CLOSED VMFIC? The fuck?
ALL MY LINKS ARE DEAD? WHAT ABOUT ALL MY COMMENTS? OMG. I... Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
I might cry.
I have some serious reposting to do.
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Thank you for this.
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I wish I was there already. This in between stage sucks balls. :p
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I...kind of have nothing to add, because everyone else who commented has said so much so well. Although, congrats on popping your pissing-off-the-Social-Justice-Warriors cherry, chica!
Oh to have so little to do and such a big stick up one's ass, and I'm glad you're still writing whatever you freaking want to write.
It's unfortunate that family members tend to be the ones who can drive that knife in the deepest, but it seems to be one of those universal things and it's probably better (if more easily said than done) to just get to a place of "meh, fuck 'em" as long as you and your boys are happy and well-adjusted and content in your lives. And I think being able to say all of this to yourself and here to us is a huge step toward doing that ( ... )
Reply
Of course I'm writing whatever the hell I want to write, that's never going to stop me. Usually I can shake stuff like that off, no problem, but it just hit a weak spot with me right now. I am vulnerable.
God, families, if you didn't love them so much you'd hate them. Seriously.
Everybody seems to be telling me to do this and, well, it's easier said than done. As you said.
I am so lucky to have such good friends online. I knew everybody here would be supportive, that's why I felt so comfortable saying it all here like this. I knew everyone would be great, like that have been.
Reply
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