IF YOU MAKE IT TO THE END OF THIS YOU ARE ONE OF TWO THINGS, A GREEK GOD, OR BRENDAN GILROY

[wimbzilla]

WIMBZILLA IS BACK! and billy collins is a drunkard. thats what the wimbsmeister is bringin ya'll party people at this ungodly hour of 1 am.(sorry anna i woke up and didnt want to wake you up). so anyways it was Jackapalooza '06, a weekend folks, an entire fucking weekend. it starts off at the LS vs. Wayland hockey game, despite the best efforts of Killa Blaze and Jacks amazing PK efforts, LS was felled 2-1 by our neighborly foe. Fuck that, as Jack skated off the ice, i simply stated, "yo jack, we have so much booze you wont even remember this ever happened!" we were right, but one night early. so we go back to jacks house, and what is this. Caroly and Jim D'isidoro have decided to take matt D'isidoro to wellesly for a dinner party, we had the house to ourselves until midnight! what to do? DRINK! despite the delicious High Life, the elegant Guiness, and the creamed spinach bud, we were all sober, a little blazed off of max's J though. you know what we should do now? JACK JOHNSON SURFING DOCUMENTARY!!!..........okay we were a little blazed. after the five of us(brian devaney, jack d., maxwell,billy, and i) proclaiming that the documentary was the most beautiful thing we'd ever seen, we progressed onto our next order of business.....food. so it takes mr. makkas over an hour to get to jacks with our two orders of buffalo tenders and two cheese pizzas. after we obtain sustenance i have a little outburst at max because i thought he pulled a bitch yoink, after which i said "your a fucking asshole about everything max! and you have been about everything so far! get one person to say you havent!" no one peeped up, but i think that was primarily because they didnt want to get in the middle of a bear fight between me and max. the pats game past and they lost, me and billy had a little tiff, but then it was time to do something else. celebratory drive! jack was now eighteen, so we went out at the stroke of midnight (aactually like 10 mins before, but the point is we were going to be out legally past midnight) and bought some cigars, smoked them in sketchy places and retreated back to the haven of the d'isidoros basement. by the time we got back jacks parents had gotten home and fallen asleep, left us popcorn, and jacks mom told jack that..........he couldnt smoke weed. now we needed something else to do, ahhah! N64! mario party went on forever and max almost fulfilled the prophecy of breaking two controllers. and peach! the birthday princess! was the victor. but now we were sure none of us would stay awake for until the end...the end of what you say?why im sorry i didnt clarify myself and made this story seem complicated, but our next task, the afore mentioned in which no man would make it out awake was that we would........watch the last waltz on dvd! my fair man and wo-man alike! (amazing film by scorsese by the way). devaney fell about 20 minutes in, while max lasted about another fifteen minutes. as soon as jack realized max was gone he realized he had reached the middle of the passing out order, and didnt fight it any longer because no one couyld give him any shit, he had beaten two kids already and could only be beaten by two. so me and billy finish the last half hour-45 minutes of the last waltz ourselves. throughout the entire duration of the flick we have a conversation on various topics, not the least of which was how dr. john is so amazing. just then, at 4:34 am we realized, mr. d'isidoro was supposed to wake up at 4:30 to bring little D' to his 6 am hockey game. just as billy finishes saying "wimbs, if mr. d' comes down, we pretend we're asleep" we hear footsteps hit the floor as mr. d' wakes up. this was the end of billy collins, sucka ass falls asleep and im left with nothing but my thoughts and my aching bladder. so to cure both of these sleep detractors, i managed to navigate through the d'isidoros pitch dark basement up their stairs into the bathroom. so i peed. and i kept on peeing until my bladder was drained. it was at this point that i made my way downstairs. sleep overcame me.........................................
"Wimbs, breakfast!!!!", it was the newly initiated member of two fraternities, OA and the NA-PS(no one knows what that means, not even brian!), brian devaney. Brian roused me to a fine birds nest and cheese omelette made by mrs. d herself, and then we went back downstairs, played some mario kart, hid some booze, and dispersed. we then went to weston, walked right into a closed lunch place, then to rossinis, i had problems. then thomas j and the two hearts went home and so did devaney and jack. but the lovesex would rise again! actually like four or five hours later. so everyone(the night before-devaney+atkins+ullman+sam=still awesome...........its science people its science) met up again. wendys, davis, tu ra fuckin lu ra. next we advanced to the finns residence. this is where i start paraphrasing, partially because i was too drunk to really remember. jack was out at 11:30......BILLY GOT DRUNK!!!!!!......ullman fell down......we snuck out.......i threw up.........ullman fell down........billy fell down........i passed out........aaaaaaaaaaand scene. Jackapalooza '06, a party soon to be long forgotten, an experience soon to be long remembered