"Oi!" Sam yelled as the ghost grabbed Dean's long luxurious blonde hair, which he had been growing to match his brother's because they always did everything together, and flung the shorter into, no, through the screen wall (because they were in Japan, and everyone knows Japanese people don't have real walls).
Sam opened the first page of the phonebook and proceeded to read each name in it one by one outloud without having sex or taking off his shirt this took about 4 hours and then he got another phone book and starting reading that one and then dean joined in and then bobby joined in and then castiel zoomed in and also read with them they did this for many hours but they were determined to find the name of the monster that they were sure had his number listed.
As Dean lay on the pavement he consoled himself with the thought that Sam had a new family with Samuel Campbell and the cousins and would be alright even though they were so obviously evil, so he died with a clear heart, went to Heaven and got liquored up with Ash and Pam, developed a complex three-way open sexual relationship that worked out fantastically even though they were dead and technically didn't have bodies to smear with Nutella and he never thought about Sammy again for the rest of his endless afterlife.
His green eyes, eyes the colour of radioactive slime, twinkled in the moonlight that also glinted off hair the colour of fresh cow patties as he posed, hand on a hip covered in the residue of said cow patties outside his beloved car and said, "Sam, I don't care, I've had a literally shitty day."
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