sunday_reveries: Picture # 2
http://pics.livejournal.com/promptly_mod/pic/0009tbg3
There's a little truth behind every 'Just kidding'...
He says that a lot.
Not like he isn't aware that his words bite, hell, he means them to bite. Sometimes more than others; and occasionally, the reaction he gets is a bit more than he intended. 'Just kidding' takes off some of the sting. It makes people discount things that just 'couldn't' be true; or that he couldn't know.
There's not just a little truth behind that, with him. There's a lot, and regularly.
Most people ignore it anyway.
...a little knowledge behind every 'I don't know'...
There's a hell of a lot that he doesn't know.
He doesn't know how to fix things - but he knows how broken they are.
He doesn't know how to really undo what he and Sam started - he's aware what he was told is his to do, but he has no clue how to do it, or if it's even possible. But he knows he wants the devil gone; and, while at it, the angels, too. Things were tough and dark enough without them.
He doesn't know how to make things easier for his brother. That hurts the worst, that he cannot take things back which Sam did. But he knows that he doesn't want his brother to have to deal with it completely alone; and he knows that he'd do whatever he possibly can to not let Sammy drown.
And every time somebody asks him, what next? He answers "I don't know." And every time he doesn't leave it at that; he tries to add some suggestion, give some direction. Be there and make things progress, rather than let them slide, because not knowing is not good enough, and he's aware that, little as he knows, it's more than many; and little as he can do, it's more than most.
...a little curiosity behind every 'Just wondering'...
They ask nosy questions. They ask questions into matters that people don't want others poking into; almost invariably, they ask questions that make people uncomfortable.
So the little phrases to ease those questions in are almost unconscious. "Just wondering if you know..." "Maybe you could tell us..." Tidbits like that, making the inquiries just a little less conspicuous, just a little less alarming.
Not that it always works, not when they end up flooding people with questions, both out of curiosity and of necessity - the need to get things fixed, to figure out exactly what's going on.
People rarely confuse their 'Just wondering...' questions for something they're not expected to answer, though.
...a little concern behind every 'never mind'...
Concern. Heh.
Often enough, it is just pain, naked and unmanageable, that spurts those 'never mind's between them. Pain over the words that have just been said; pain over deeds that have barely moved behind their backs.
Pain for each other.
Neither of them is very good with coping mechanisms; Dean has an edge with the anger, Sam with the silence and doing things his own way.
They hear each other's words, and the weight behind them, too. And some of the time, 'never mind' makes the other one stop. Stop talking, stop asking, stop explaining. Stop aggravating.
And sometimes it doesn't.
And sometimes, it's better that way.
...and a little lie behind every 'I love you'.
Maybe that's why he doesn't say it often.
It always has a sting. Past pain, present pain. You-betrayed-me; I-let-you-down.
He sticks to other ways. Showing concern. Teasing. Offending, even. Telling it in codes, in subtext, and complications.
But it's there, nonetheless.
There's a little truth behind every 'Just kidding'...
He says that a lot.
Not like he isn't aware that his words bite, hell, he means them to bite. Sometimes more than others; and occasionally, the reaction he gets is a bit more than he intended. 'Just kidding' takes off some of the sting. It makes people discount things that just 'couldn't' be true; or that he couldn't know.
There's not just a little truth behind that, with him. There's a lot, and regularly.
Most people ignore it anyway.
...a little knowledge behind every 'I don't know'...
There's a hell of a lot that he doesn't know.
He doesn't know how to fix things - but he knows how broken they are.
He doesn't know how to really undo what he and Sam started - he's aware what he was told is his to do, but he has no clue how to do it, or if it's even possible. But he knows he wants the devil gone; and, while at it, the angels, too. Things were tough and dark enough without them.
He doesn't know how to make things easier for his brother. That hurts the worst, that he cannot take things back which Sam did. But he knows that he doesn't want his brother to have to deal with it completely alone; and he knows that he'd do whatever he possibly can to not let Sammy drown.
And every time somebody asks him, what next? He answers "I don't know." And every time he doesn't leave it at that; he tries to add some suggestion, give some direction. Be there and make things progress, rather than let them slide, because not knowing is not good enough, and he's aware that, little as he knows, it's more than many; and little as he can do, it's more than most.
...a little curiosity behind every 'Just wondering'...
They ask nosy questions. They ask questions into matters that people don't want others poking into; almost invariably, they ask questions that make people uncomfortable.
So the little phrases to ease those questions in are almost unconscious. "Just wondering if you know..." "Maybe you could tell us..." Tidbits like that, making the inquiries just a little less conspicuous, just a little less alarming.
Not that it always works, not when they end up flooding people with questions, both out of curiosity and of necessity - the need to get things fixed, to figure out exactly what's going on.
People rarely confuse their 'Just wondering...' questions for something they're not expected to answer, though.
...a little concern behind every 'never mind'...
Concern. Heh.
Often enough, it is just pain, naked and unmanageable, that spurts those 'never mind's between them. Pain over the words that have just been said; pain over deeds that have barely moved behind their backs.
Pain for each other.
Neither of them is very good with coping mechanisms; Dean has an edge with the anger, Sam with the silence and doing things his own way.
They hear each other's words, and the weight behind them, too. And some of the time, 'never mind' makes the other one stop. Stop talking, stop asking, stop explaining. Stop aggravating.
And sometimes it doesn't.
And sometimes, it's better that way.
...and a little lie behind every 'I love you'.
Maybe that's why he doesn't say it often.
It always has a sting. Past pain, present pain. You-betrayed-me; I-let-you-down.
He sticks to other ways. Showing concern. Teasing. Offending, even. Telling it in codes, in subtext, and complications.
But it's there, nonetheless.