These things that I say, they are true.
Today I've:
* walked for 3 hours in the cold so that I could understand Winter.
* eaten dinner and comported myself wonderfully in the presence of my mother-in-law.
* reaffirmed that I have the sweetest and most earnest dog in the world.
* made and ass of myself, apologized and been neurotically paranoid.
* gleefully skipped through the hallways of a four-star hotel.
* learned that Jebus will not, in fact, be giving me a pony.
* dictated the text on a bottle of locally bottled spring water.
* eaten things that at some point did, but should never have, come from nature.
* challenged and immovable object with an irresistible force.
* bought items of minimal importance and less value because I needed an excuse to leave my house.
* sacrificed selections on the jukebox to the Norns.
* confound one of the greatest bartenders in Columbus with a few minute details of my love life, and been told to drink more.
* smoked entirely too many cigarettes.
* intentionally offended a cult of non-traditional Christians.
* almost ripped the throat out of four individuals simply for the amusement of watching them drown in their own blood.
* been touched by three frighteningly unattractive gay men.
* wished I could scour the places I was touched by three frighteningly unattractive gay men with bleach without giving myself chemical burns or ruining my clothing.
* had a Gulf war veteran that's having some issues with his ATM, run out of gas with two of his children in the car and needs to get an insulin shot beg me for money.
* parked in a handicapped spot.
* been the bearer of glad tidings.
* smoked refined tobacco products while standing next to a "no smoking" sign.
* been party to intentional deceit through honesty.
* had little regard for the feelings of others.
* written an LJ post while under the influence of Jupiter in retro-grade and alcohol.