Drown (feat. Au/Ra)

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it's been a while. There's so much that has happened since I last came in here and actually posted something. I wanted to come here a lot over the past almost two years but I couldn't find the words. and I couldn't find a way to organize my thoughts. But I did want to note for my future self that the world did shut down because of COVID-19 at one ( Read more... )

I've come in here randomly over the past few months, starting entries, writing down some thoughts, and not finishing them. There's so much that I want to get out, but I don't seem to have the energy to be able to form it all into words.

Last month I said that I was pretty surprised (and glad) to see that Seasonal Affective Disorder didn't seem to ( Read more... )

i learned today via facebook that one of my high school classmates passed away recently after a five-year battle with pancreatic cancer. while i didn't know her that well, she was always nice to me from what i remember. and while i always refer to myself as old, dying at 38 of cancer is just way too soon. i hope you rest in love, Juanita. i'm sorry ( Read more... )

what is it about me that makes me so forgettable, so invisible?

i don't need anything from anyone. i'll do this shit myself, like i always have. just back up and get out of my way.

I don't like admitting or showing vulnerability, so I'll deny all of this tomorrow


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and for a moment i imagined how beautiful it would be if your words were written for me

it's been three weeks since my dad had his surgery, and he's doing great. He was discharged after a two-week stay in the hospital, and literally the day that we brought him home, I came down with a cold that kicked my ass. I literally spent a week doing nothing but hiding in my room and sleeping, pumping myself with both eastern and western ( Read more... )

I've been home for a week already and it's been a whirlwind. My dad had his surgery last Thursday and it was NINE HOURS. While I originally had wanted someone to update us periodically, my dad decided against it because he wanted the docs and nurses to be focused on him instead. Valid point. We got to Queen's at 5:30am to check in, and dad's ( Read more... )