(no subject)
OH MY GOD I AM CRAZY. fable, you were trying to get me to write Thorpe/Hoogenband. That didn't happen. But Ian Crocker/Michael Phelps did. Kind of. Hypothetically. Maybe.
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RIGHTFULLY NAMED 'CRACK.DOC'.
Ian doesn't know if he likes Michael's voice. It's slow, calm, almost on the verge of sleepy so that Ian bets he could fall asleep himself to it. Michael never sounds surprised or embarrassed, even when he is, and it's infuriating in that stupid way. He doesn't sound any different when the reporter asks Michael about the picture of Ian on his bedroom wall but Ian practically chokes on an ice cube and wonders why nobody tells him anything these days. Michael just smiles, laughs, doesn't seem abashed at all and Ian feels a little behind, like he's being shut out from some universal joke that the entire fucking world knows already.
Slow voice, like Michael never is in the pool. Everybody asks how he feels about being given the spot on the relay team and he has no idea. He's supposed to be grateful, but Ian can't help but feel a little resentful, because it's like: look, sorry, mate, that you sucked ass in that first relay, and sorry that I got the gold, sorry sorry sorry, so here's my relay spot to make you feel better, to give you a chance at redeeming yourself. This train of thought is embarrassing, too, because Ian wouldn't have this chance otherwise, shouldn't have had the chance. Because it is embarrassing, to be given something so big; to turn on the TV and find the commentators talking about how much class Michael has, how giving he is, how kind. Irrationally, Ian thinks, fuck, man, couldn't you have down this in a way so it didn't seem like, well, such a huge deal? He tries to think that Michael shouldn't have given it to him at all, but Ian isn't selfless, he's glad he got the chance, he's glad he got to swim. What he's not glad about is how the press suddenly seems to think that the two of them are the closest of friends, the kind that sacrifice things for each other.
Because they aren't. They aren't. Ian puts on a straight face for his interviews and acts like he should, tries to avoid Michael at all costs without it seeming like he's trying to. It's fucking stupid, how big of a deal Ian is making out of this, but that's what it is: a big deal. At least to him. Michael, who's nineteen but everybody thinks is so much more mature, who everybody loves, with that steady voice and knowing smile, who does things that nobody else does. Michael and his stupid charity, stupid picture on the wall, who makes Ian feel like he's nineteen and clumsy and frustrated again. Somehow, Ian's absolutely positive that Michael's done this on purpose, that he knows exactly what kind of agony Ian is going through now and the thought isn't comforting at all. He uses the hotel computer and goes online, only to see the headlines splashed on Yahoo: 'PHELPS BEATS CROCKER, THEN GIVES HIM A GIFT'.
Ian thinks he's going crazy.
I hate myself. :x
...
RIGHTFULLY NAMED 'CRACK.DOC'.
Ian doesn't know if he likes Michael's voice. It's slow, calm, almost on the verge of sleepy so that Ian bets he could fall asleep himself to it. Michael never sounds surprised or embarrassed, even when he is, and it's infuriating in that stupid way. He doesn't sound any different when the reporter asks Michael about the picture of Ian on his bedroom wall but Ian practically chokes on an ice cube and wonders why nobody tells him anything these days. Michael just smiles, laughs, doesn't seem abashed at all and Ian feels a little behind, like he's being shut out from some universal joke that the entire fucking world knows already.
Slow voice, like Michael never is in the pool. Everybody asks how he feels about being given the spot on the relay team and he has no idea. He's supposed to be grateful, but Ian can't help but feel a little resentful, because it's like: look, sorry, mate, that you sucked ass in that first relay, and sorry that I got the gold, sorry sorry sorry, so here's my relay spot to make you feel better, to give you a chance at redeeming yourself. This train of thought is embarrassing, too, because Ian wouldn't have this chance otherwise, shouldn't have had the chance. Because it is embarrassing, to be given something so big; to turn on the TV and find the commentators talking about how much class Michael has, how giving he is, how kind. Irrationally, Ian thinks, fuck, man, couldn't you have down this in a way so it didn't seem like, well, such a huge deal? He tries to think that Michael shouldn't have given it to him at all, but Ian isn't selfless, he's glad he got the chance, he's glad he got to swim. What he's not glad about is how the press suddenly seems to think that the two of them are the closest of friends, the kind that sacrifice things for each other.
Because they aren't. They aren't. Ian puts on a straight face for his interviews and acts like he should, tries to avoid Michael at all costs without it seeming like he's trying to. It's fucking stupid, how big of a deal Ian is making out of this, but that's what it is: a big deal. At least to him. Michael, who's nineteen but everybody thinks is so much more mature, who everybody loves, with that steady voice and knowing smile, who does things that nobody else does. Michael and his stupid charity, stupid picture on the wall, who makes Ian feel like he's nineteen and clumsy and frustrated again. Somehow, Ian's absolutely positive that Michael's done this on purpose, that he knows exactly what kind of agony Ian is going through now and the thought isn't comforting at all. He uses the hotel computer and goes online, only to see the headlines splashed on Yahoo: 'PHELPS BEATS CROCKER, THEN GIVES HIM A GIFT'.
Ian thinks he's going crazy.
I hate myself. :x