If I thought I was depressed yesterday...

[wine_carnation]

... well, yesterday's got nothing on today. It's over with Salsa Guy.

I actually haven't been updating because I've been really really busy - the whole week my parents were abroad I kept myself busy so that I wouldn't be lonely. I worked every day, I went out with Salsa Guy and with K, the new Salsa friend, I went to salsa, I had a book-binding

Comments

[kiramaru7]

Awe... *huggles*

I wish I knew what to say to make you feel better... *huggles*

[wine_carnation]

Thank you, dear...

[kiramaru7]

You're welcome... *huggles*

[lostenergy]

I've been busy with RL stuff and only got to read this now...

I know you could use some hugs but we're miles away.

I hope my cyber hugs might give some comfort? *hugs*

I honestly think you are such an amazing woman. Really, I mean it. And if you can find a guy who adores your smarts and attitude, then I'm pretty sure you'd be able to connect to someone emotionally. Also, he is an asshole, in the end.

[wine_carnation]

I only posted this today, babe, you couldn't have seen it earlier :P

I really like cyber hugs; I've already sent one your way on your own post. We'll get over this together! We're both amazing women :)

(And just to set the record straight - it was him who couldn't connect to me emotionally, not me who couldn't connect to him. The problem was with him, not me. I opened up to him and consequently got hurt, because he couldn't reciprocate. Oh well. His loss!)

[lostenergy]

Yes, I did understand that it was him that couldn't connect emotionally. Sorry, I think I used the wrong words >.<

But yeah, we can get through this. It feels awful now, but one day we'll look back and just say we've learned from it at least! :)

[wine_carnation]

I'm just back from salsa - he was there. The bastard said he wouldn't be there and true, I told him not to do me any favors but I did still expect to have this first night without him. I made it through the night only because we went to different groups (but I kept looking at his back) but the second I left the club (after not being able to concentrate the entire hour of the teach and only dancing 3 songs later) I burst into tears. I cried the whole way home. I'm fucking tired of crying. My eyes burn and my throat hurts. Tomorrow is a long day (work+sketching course) and I'm not looking forward to it. But I didn't work today so I can't skip work tomorrow. Well I can, but it wouldn't be right. And maybe it'd be better to keep busy.

I hate him so much right now. Because I still want him. I hate feeling like this.

[styxx374]

Aw, I'm so sorry. Men really do suck. The best thing you can do for yourself is cut him loose in your heart, and I know that is not easy.

{{{hugs}}}

[literaryspell]

Aw hun, I'm so sorry things didn't work out! I wasn't along for the whole story so I'm not sure of all the details, but it does sound like he wasn't right for you. Sometimes, you don't want to have to work so hard. And if he did give that other chance, the kind that happens in movies, you'd always be wondering: are we connecting, are we connecting?

I'm so proud of you for calling him out on his self-sabotage. Don't take that shit lying down!

Also, I think he's a douche for bringing you to his ex's bday party--a douche to her, but even more to you. I wouldn't have been cool with that.

Good on you for sexing it up for salsa! Don't even give him the time of day. If he talks to you, I'd act friendly but aloof. He doesn't deserve another chance--not if he wasn't willing to give you guys a proper one.

Heart goes out to you, bebe. *hugs*

[wine_carnation]

The thing is - I think he was for me. I think he was finally the well-rounded, sane boy who I could have fit great with. I thought he would be the one, the long-term boyfriend, the one I'd finally have a meaningful relationship with (not to mention sex

[literaryspell]

There's no rush to be over him sweetie, that will happen when you're ready. I wouldn't worry about what he's thinking or doing--your time is worth more than that. And there's not necessarily one person for everyone, right? He might have been good for you, yes, but not perfect. And the next one will be all the better because of this experience--truth.

Sage advice (LOL) aside, I know what you are going through. It's okay to cry, to fucking SOB! It feels better, I think. This is something you'll get through and be stronger for, promise. Sorry that the journey to that has to suck so much. *hugs* Love you!

[wine_carnation]

Thank you so much for the LJ kiss, doll. It really made me smile :)