Not over him yet...
... but I hope I'm getting there.
Just a minor setback: I dreamed of him last night >_<
Even worse, I dreamed that we had sex. And it was good. And then after the sex I dreamed that we went out on a date! And it was really fun, romantic and full of action and stuff that I liked. The details are kind of fuzzy right now but I remember that I really enjoyed it and that it helped us feel closer. It really makes me wonder. I'd thought I was getting over him.
The son of a bitch was there at Tuesday!Salsa even though he'd told me he wouldn't be. And true, I told him not to do me any favors but I did still expect to have that first night without him. I made it through the night only because we went to different groups (but I kept looking at his back) but the second I left the club (after not being able to concentrate the entire hour of the teach and only dancing 3 songs later) I burst into tears. I cried the whole way home. I'm fucking tired of crying. My eyes burn and my throat hurts.
Thank god, I haven't cried since Wednesday. It was a busy day - very hectic at work, then Wednesday!Sketching Course, and late at night I went with K to a gay bar! XDDD It was one of the strangest experiences of my life, but also the most amusing. The hosts were all gays or lesbians, and there was a drag queen who even lipsynched Cher's Believe, it was hilarious. And I fucking danced on the bar! Thankfully no truly incriminating photos were taken - only this one of my back (I'm in the blue top, on the right)
I didn't really want to dance on the bar (I was in heels for fuck's sake!) but the gay host (the guy in the red shirt) pretty much dragged me up there XD Repeatedly! XD And K said she thinks the lesbian host had a crush on me so I avoided eye-contact with her all night XD
K herself is bisexual, and personally I'm probably something like 20% bi, too. Men are sometimes just too much trouble. And women are fucking hot. I'm a leg- and breasts- woman :)
So after that rather surreal night, I went back home and showered and washed my hair a second time because of all the cigarette smoke :X It's why I hate bars and pubs, I wish people weren't allowed to smoke, but honestly if they forbade smoking they'd lose over half their clients so it makes sense.
K probably wants to go there again XD She says she wants a girlfriend, and she was really nervous about going there the first time that night. She thanked me a million times for coming along with her. One guy even asked me if I was in the scene, and I said I was just a wingwoman tonight XD It was funny, we'll probably go again some time :)
I've been listening to Lady Gaga's The Edge of Glory on repeat for 3 days now - I've adopted it as my 'getting over him' song. I love that it has everything - pop, techno, a little jazz, a good beat and a catchy chorus. Not to mention a completely meaningless, slightly psychedelic video XD
Today I did a little workshop in Ladies Style at the salsa club, and it was really fun. A little feminine style is really fun to add to any dance, make the men drool a little bit :D One of the instructors told me at the end of the lesson that I'm dancing really well - it's always such a great ego-boost to hear that :)
Just a minor setback: I dreamed of him last night >_<
Even worse, I dreamed that we had sex. And it was good. And then after the sex I dreamed that we went out on a date! And it was really fun, romantic and full of action and stuff that I liked. The details are kind of fuzzy right now but I remember that I really enjoyed it and that it helped us feel closer. It really makes me wonder. I'd thought I was getting over him.
The son of a bitch was there at Tuesday!Salsa even though he'd told me he wouldn't be. And true, I told him not to do me any favors but I did still expect to have that first night without him. I made it through the night only because we went to different groups (but I kept looking at his back) but the second I left the club (after not being able to concentrate the entire hour of the teach and only dancing 3 songs later) I burst into tears. I cried the whole way home. I'm fucking tired of crying. My eyes burn and my throat hurts.
Thank god, I haven't cried since Wednesday. It was a busy day - very hectic at work, then Wednesday!Sketching Course, and late at night I went with K to a gay bar! XDDD It was one of the strangest experiences of my life, but also the most amusing. The hosts were all gays or lesbians, and there was a drag queen who even lipsynched Cher's Believe, it was hilarious. And I fucking danced on the bar! Thankfully no truly incriminating photos were taken - only this one of my back (I'm in the blue top, on the right)
I didn't really want to dance on the bar (I was in heels for fuck's sake!) but the gay host (the guy in the red shirt) pretty much dragged me up there XD Repeatedly! XD And K said she thinks the lesbian host had a crush on me so I avoided eye-contact with her all night XD
K herself is bisexual, and personally I'm probably something like 20% bi, too. Men are sometimes just too much trouble. And women are fucking hot. I'm a leg- and breasts- woman :)
So after that rather surreal night, I went back home and showered and washed my hair a second time because of all the cigarette smoke :X It's why I hate bars and pubs, I wish people weren't allowed to smoke, but honestly if they forbade smoking they'd lose over half their clients so it makes sense.
K probably wants to go there again XD She says she wants a girlfriend, and she was really nervous about going there the first time that night. She thanked me a million times for coming along with her. One guy even asked me if I was in the scene, and I said I was just a wingwoman tonight XD It was funny, we'll probably go again some time :)
I've been listening to Lady Gaga's The Edge of Glory on repeat for 3 days now - I've adopted it as my 'getting over him' song. I love that it has everything - pop, techno, a little jazz, a good beat and a catchy chorus. Not to mention a completely meaningless, slightly psychedelic video XD
Click to viewToday I did a little workshop in Ladies Style at the salsa club, and it was really fun. A little feminine style is really fun to add to any dance, make the men drool a little bit :D One of the instructors told me at the end of the lesson that I'm dancing really well - it's always such a great ego-boost to hear that :)